�Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
I was fast asleep when I heard a big crash
So I went to the window and threw open the sash
The sight that I saw really made my day
Eight bloody reindeer were heaped around a sleigh
I laughed so hard all the way to the door
More than once I fell to the floor
It was apparent right off all the deer were dead
So immediately I turned and went to the sled
Again I smiled for there was no cause for alarm
The presents were safe, out of the way of harm
I went back inside to warm up in the heat
Then I snatched up a knife to cut me some meat
I had just finished gutting three of the deer
When I heard a faint moan from somewhere near
I flipped over the sleigh and to my surprise
Santa wasn�t dead, only paralyzed
So I rolled up my sleeve and showed him my new watch
�I wanted a Rolex� I shouted, and kicked him in the crotch
To this very day, his last words still ring in my head
He whispered �please don�t bury me, I�m not dead�