"Oh calm down, minstrel!" Lord Elrond hurried back into the study, "That horrible noise!"
"Look!" Lindir growled, "Yrch drool! YUCK!"
"Hmm." Elrond bent down and looked at the once fine leather case, "It looks like fall spray to me."
"Fall spray?" The minstrel nearly choked, "For pity�s sakes, just LOOK at that slimy goop! Drool!"
"It seems awfully similar to what has found its way onto my ancient elf-scrolls." A small elf-smile seemed to appear on Lord Elrond�s face, although as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. With a fair motion, he handed back my poem, "Interesting man-verse, there. Still, I am not sure if you are indeed ready to join the Rivendell Academy."
I could feel my face fall, "Oh. I suppose you would know best."
"No need to be that upset," Elrond drew the chair opposite me and motioned for Lindir to take a break from wiping up his flute case to join us, "Tell me, now, of your teaching skills. Will you be able to teach others of your ways and ours?"
"I just finished explaining to Mister Lindir here, about some man-magic," I motioned to the photograph, "I believe I can."
"Mmm." Elrond�s eyebrows knit again, "Explain something to me, then."
"Alright," I took a deep breath, "What would you like to know about?"
"You teach me what you know best." The elven lord answered slowly, "I shall then learn."
"What I know best . . ." I leant back in my chair and Elf placed his head on my lap, tongue retracted into his mouth, "That would be quite simple." With a small smile, "Misters Elrond and Lindir, today I will teach you one of the most fundamental skills of high school extracurricular survival." They both looked interested, "How to be a proper Propette.
"First of all, in order to do any job correctly, you must first understand what it means to carry out that specific duty � both what it means to those around you and what contributions you make to the overall product. Remember that you are only a small part of something quite large, but also that your small part can create big changes. In terms of major production, yes, the cast does have a major part, but the production could not have gone on without the efforts of those backstage. The stage crew then divides into different parts, including that of sets, costumes, lighting, and of course props.
"The properties of a production encompass all the little things which are not bound to the set, but yet are seen onstage or are used as special effects. Before a production is to begin, these props all must be found and placed in appropriate locations by the props team; but during a production, the team should be busiest, ensuring that all needed props are available and those once used, are replaced in appropriate pre-designated locations.
"It has oft been remarked that if you are �backstage� there is not much pre-production work. In terms of props, sets and costuming, however, this is very untrue. In order for the performance to go smoothly, many hours of pre-planning must be committed. Props must be listed, found, made and finally distributed; this is almost equivalent of cast learning lines. What each character must say must be learned before rehearsals for desirable results. Sure, many props groups only gather together on technical rehearsal night assuming that all props will have been found by the cast. Sometimes this will work, but all too often, this will lead to a massive chaos of lost and misplaced props. This method of planning is not the Propette way � if one truly wishes to be a Propette, the big �o� word is key (in case you are still wondering; �organization� and not �orangutan�).
"Generally, more than a month before opening night, it is vital for the props crew to appoint responsible members of their team to study the script in detail to both learn the play and what this play would demand of them. Note taking is a must, and highlighting various parts in the script where props appear or need to be moved about is also helpful. At the end of the first read through of the script, there should be a preliminary props proposal � a form of what is needed and where this can be found � should be tabulated. These tasks should be done well in advance of first rehearsals as to plan for technical difficulties, such as changes in the script, live animals or those hard-to-find props. Furthermore, if after an examination of the script and the play is still not clear, there is still time to attend one or more of the cast rehearsals or to contact cast representatives for explanations.
"Once an early props proposal is drafted, another committee of Propettes must be appointed to comb through the script again. The early proposal should be made available to the �check� committee and the latter group ensures that the first has not missed any props. This double check is part of the big �o� of Propettes and will furthermore ensure a stress-free first technical rehearsal.
"The needed props now need to be divided into scenes, and yet another group of Propettes may do this, noting the precise order of �on� and �off� stage of each of the individual props, as well as noting whether or not they should be placed stage �right� or stage �left.� Remember that stage direction is based upon where the actors stand. This last step may not be possible until first technical rehearsal. Furthermore, these lists should be formatted on a word processor so that there can be multiple copies made easily and additions or omissions to lists will not be a headache.
"Now, in order to find the props, first check off all those that those within the committee are willing or able to locate and bring. Next, photocopy lists of remaining props and send to the cast and the staff members of your school, indicating that they should check off the props they own and are willing to provide with further contact details later. Your lists should be out for about a week, as this allows ample time for the indicated to search through their attics and tickle-trunks. If no lists come back (this should happen and is the norm), you must go and hunt them down, starting with the teachers.
"Tabulate the new props you have found from cast and your staff. If there are still outstanding props (there should be some), contact the costume and set departments to see what they are willing to contribute. Finally, examine the props remaining. These you will have to purchase second-hand or make yourself. Depending on the school�s major production prop�s budget, often the latter is the more preferred choice.
"Finally, after all props are available, do a final run through of the script to ensure that all materials are available. By this time, there should be few days before first technical run through and while all other groups are panicking, the Propettes should not. They should say, "WE ARE GOOD" to each other and other staff, whether or not this is true. This motto keeps up the spirit and reputations of the Propettes, being an unstoppable, organized, always up and ready force. Be all you can be. If you are receiving donated props, ensured that they are properly labeled so that they can be returned after you are finished.
"On technical rehearsal, ensure that all members of your props team will show up from fifteen to half an hour earlier than start time, depending on the number of members. Designate members to bring your lists, a clipboard, pens, the props, and snacks if desired (popcorn drives the cast crazy). If you wish, a series of motivational posters can be made to stick up and encourage the cast. A more important poster you may wish to photocopy many copies of is one which reads �REPLACE PROPS WHEN FINISHED WITH THEM� as this will save you much hassle at the end of each performance.
"Arrange ahead of time with the major production coordinator to ensure that there will be a proper props area. If a table or a room off to the side of the stage can not be arrange, indicate that this is not the Propette way and enough room must be made for a proper Propette job to be done. They will arrange the necessary room.
"Once you show up, there is a number of ways to organize and keep track of props. First of all, the easiest way is to use the �eyeball.� Place all the props in scene order on the table and eyeball record what there is. Do not worry if this sounds very un-Propette-ish, because you can double check on the form you have printed out. Masking tape number tags and tracing outlines of props onto the table also work in terms of identification.
"Have one or two members of the Propettes sit in the audience for the first technical rehearsal or the full cast rehearsal, which ever comes first. This person will have the duty of recording stage left/right and any last minute instructions or alterations needed to the remaining props. The rest of the team will be running through the prop retrieval and distribution process as though it were performance.
"During down times, check to ensure all props for the next scene is where it should be, as well as used props have been returned. Of course, Propettes always have fun, so be sure to assign a �snack bring-er� amongst the group and they will supply enough treats for the entire Propette team. An alternative to this is to make sure that everyone brings something different every night � this should be decided ahead of time and depends on the size of your group. If you are adventurous, even order in pizza. Remember to work in sync with the stage and costuming crew, but this often does not involve sharing food.
"Stage critique at the end of the night does not involve the Propettes. Thus, you can leave at about ten while all the crew is stuck there until one. This is one of the bonuses as to being a Propette. Thus, you get about eight performances thrown into the package for free and by the end of this, you will be singing the songs and dancing the dances as well as any of the cast, but you may be missing the costume (you should be missing the costume!).
"Perishables may need to be picked up often, and arrange for this to be done. Such materials can include food, dry ice and the like. If there are any special pieces of equipment including smoke machines, ensure that those manning them know what they are doing. Other special things such as live animals should be kept isolated and as undisturbed as possible. Ensure that cast members know that it is not a Propette-job to look after animals unless otherwise specified.
"On opening night, simply breathe in and out. If you have followed all the instructions and are a good and responsible Propette, everything should run well. But not smoothly. The cast, remember, is often quite �thick� and have other things on their minds. Chasing after them to return props is a normal occurrence and part of the fun. There are certain privileges to being a Propette, and places you can go. Do not abuse this privilege, however as that would not be appropriate for a Propette. Always replace perishables including foods at the end and beginning of every night. If your performance involves stage blood, remember that this dries hard, so wash all props accordingly.
"When the performances finally draw to a close, take-down for Propettes is very straight forward as long as you still have the transportable large cardboard boxes the props were brought in. Remove the props in the same way. At earliest convenience, return to appropriate parties with a very nice thank-you note to encourage donation for the next Propette group. Group pictures and other memorabilia is all part of the Propette job and remember, although your job may seem done, once a Propette � always a Propette!
"Remember that being a Propette is a position of very high esteem and the utmost respect from the cast towards the crew bearing the name was not a coincidence, but earned. A job well done earns the recognition of so many, and so many also remember you for your nice food and how you refused to share. To avoid confrontations, never have enough for the cast. With their stage makeup, they can not eat, anyhow. Never, ever pity the cast. Once they believe they can slack off and hide their props, they will keep on doing it. Always keep a firm hand on them, similarly to naughty children."
"Or slobbering dogs." Elrond patted Elf fondly, "Man-dogs are adorable! Rivendell needs Propettes!"
"Yrch!" Lindir insisted and was buffing his flute again, "Ah the things man-children think of!"