"Not again!" Their elf moaned, and clasped his hands over his hair, lest that be mussed up, but then suddenly looked into the clear blue sky. "No there�s not."
"Have it your way!" The man growled and hit the dirt with a heavy "Oof!"
"I don�t SEE any!" Legolas sang, "And stupid MEN think they can . . ."
"Don�t look behind you!" Gimli helpfully pointed out, "Duck!"
"I�m not a DUCK!" The elf spat, "Fine! You think I�m a MAN. And now a DUCK?!" He turned on heel, and everyone winced, "Is there going to be some gigantic swarm of crows flying into me? I DON�T THINK �"
A black shadow spread itself across the land, haunting and seemingly with a sense of evil radiance. Legolas gulped. Darn nab those crebain! But wait! Crebain were small! This thing was gigantic! The elf gulped again, and looked up. Sure enough, a flying dark shape was now tucked into a dive. Towards him.
"Maybe it�s time to use stance fifty-four again!" Gimli whimpered, "RUN!"
The elf stood his ground.
"Or maybe it was stance fifty-five!" Gimli clasped his hands over his eyes, as the shadow grew over them, larger, and larger. "Not our elf!"
"The protection of Lorien!" Aragorn suddenly hollered, and from somewhere, got the great idea to seek the aid of the elven forest. Fortunately, it was not too late, but as he obviously could not stand, began a quick and brisk log roll towards the forest. The rest of the Fellowship (minus elf) followed, suit, even though it was to Sam�s ultimate discomfort (all the pots were banging against his back; if only his Uncle Andy could have seen this!) and to Gimli�s ultimate embarrassment (fortunately, there was no dwarf to spy on him and report back to Gloin who would have had a laughing fit), they all crashed into the fair white bark of tall, straight trees. "YES!" Aragorn jumped to his feet, turning to the large shadow which was getting pretty darn big and would have easily covered three Fellowships, "Let�s see you get in HERE flame of Udun!"
"Flame of Udun?" Gimli gulped, "FLAME?"
"Yes, the balrog." Aragorn answered, almost snobbishly, "What about it?"
"We are in WOODS!" The dwarf screeched, "And fighting a demon of FIRE?!"
"That would be a technical difficulty." The man briskly replied.
"That is a thing of shadow." Gimli snorted, "The fire must have gone out!"
"Understatement!" Boromir looked around quickly, and made sure the hobbits didn�t run off (Sam had spotted some mushrooms). "Oh, stay close you hobbits!"
"MUSHROOMS!" All four screeched and decided to take off at the same time. Having only two arms, Boromir could only grab onto the cloaks of Frodo and Merry, leaving all four hobbits to run and football tackle a small group of mushrooms at the base of a tree�s trunk. Boromir stared at disbelief at the cloaks he now gripped. Speedy little things, those hobbits!
"Stop HOGGING them!" Sam kicked Merry in the face, as the latter hobbit tried to snatch a particularly nice one from Frodo, "You HOGGIT!"
"Hoggit?" Boromir caught with them and rolled his eyes, "You�re all coming with me! Back to the Fellowship! NOW!"
"Okay, okay!" All four hobbits glared at the man, shoved all the mushrooms into their mouths (so much for sharing) and ran back to where Aragorn and Gimli were currently arguing what to do about their elf. Legolas was currently standing smack-dab in the middle of the rocky plain, holding arms outstretched as though he were welcoming some long-lost brother or Zeus himself. "What�s HE doing?"
"I AM WAITING!" Legolas roared, and raised his arms further heavenward, "WAITING!" The dark shape was now visible in the sky, shockingly in contrast with the light blue of the beautiful sky. A day far too tranquil for what was to come. The dark thing gave a horrific shriek which froze even the blood of Aragorn. The elf did not even blink.
"He�s mad!" Gimli�s jaw dropped, "Our elf finally lost all his marbles!"
"Ooh look," Sam stooped down and picked up a round, circular rock, "I found one."
"Not that kind!" Boromir snapped, and stole the marble from the hobbit which started to wail. The man glared at him and threw the rock as far as he could. It flew into the bush. "There! It�s gone! Stupid hobbits with your stupid rocks!"
"OOH!" All four hobbits gasped as one and looked at something behind Boromir, in the depths of the forest. "OOH!"
"What�s wrong NOW?!" Boromir roared, and glared down at their quartet, "There is nothing there! Just some forest!"
"And a bunch of . . ." Sam began to say, but Frodo clasped a hand over the other hobbit�s mouth. "Mumpth!"
"What�s this?!" Boromir suddenly was gazing at something flashing in his eyes. "AH! My eyes!" He blinked and nearly stumbled over the gray-elf holding the arrow at ready, causing him to be so surprised, the arrow flew from the bow and into the sky. "OUCH!" The man opened his eyes to find the entire Fellowship clutching their eyes as sun reflected off something, glinting all the stupid light into their eyes.
"Haldir!" A fair elven voice screeched, "You polished the arrowheads too much AGAIN!"
"Take this!" Boromir hoist up his shield, and just as suddenly with screams of anguish, the elves surrounding THEM clutched their fair elven hands over their fair elven eyes to shade them from the not-so-fair beams of light ricocheting off the polished shield, "HA!"
"AHHHH!" The elves screamed with pain, "AHHHHH!"
"Wimps!" Boromir snarled, but a particularly brave elven captain kept his hands over his eyes, ran behind the man and gave him a sound push. The man landed on his rump in a bush. The shield clattered to the ground. All the elves glared angrily at them from behind drawn bows again. The man groaned, "DARN!"
"You breath so loudly, we could have shot you in the dark." The elf who knocked Boromir over grinned crazily, "Not to say it is dark or anything."
"Take THIS!" Boromir was about to lift his shield again, but the fair elf with the big nose whom the others were calling Haldir threw himself at the man and tackled him to the ground. Another elf, one with a silver flute hanging from his back as though another bow delicately took the large shield and tossed it as though a Frisbee back towards Moria. The man currently being tackled by Haldir screeched, "MY SHIELD!"
"Your problem." Haldir snarled, and with a final punch at Boromir�s none-too-small nose, got up (it was hardly fair. Boromir was too worried about his shield to fight back). The elf turned to the other, "Lindir! What did you DO?!"
"I tossed big thing away!" Lindir waved his arms up and down crazily, "Hurt my eyes!"
"If you do something like that again, I�ll really hurt you!" Haldir growled, and spotted Aragorn. The elf growled and crossed his arms across his chest. The rest of the elven archers, a good dozen of them, had good enough cover of the Fellowship. "Hmm. What might a dwarf, three Men," Adhara bristled, "and four hobbits be doing together?"
"Hmm." The elven archers questioned as one. "WHAT WERE THEY DOING?"
"And why were you throwing rocks?!" Haldir held up the rock Boromir had tossed earlier, "Don�t disturb the woods!" He rubbed his head where a small bump was visible under his fair hair, "Now speak! What were you doing?!"
"Picnic!" Lindir, who was a little daft, announced excitedly, plucking a mushroom out of Pippin�s hands (the hobbit started to howl), "See? They were eating mushrooms!"
"Hmm." Haldir snatched the mushroom from the other elf and held it under his nose with a sniff, "Smells like a Lorien mushroom!" With a quick spin, he jabbed a finger into Pippin�s chest, "YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING!"
"AHHHH!" The hobbit screamed and clutched onto the large black dog whom had suddenly appeared, "Big elf wants little hobbit STEW!"
"I�m not going to STEW you!" Haldir growled.
"I will! I will!" Lindir screamed excitedly, jumping up and down, "I so will!"
"Who are you?" Haldir asked again, "And what are you doing here?"
"I�m . . ." Aragorn took a deep breath and was ready to give a long speech, but Adhara just pointed to the HELLO sticker Aragorn still wore. "Yes. Aragorn."
"Hmm." Haldir bent close to the sticker, carefully reading, "I see."
"You�re Haldir!" Aragorn suddenly announced, clapping the elf so hard on the back, Haldir nearly went flying into the woods, "Remember me? Remember how I came with Arwen that time and blocked up all the bridges?"
Haldir glared and straightened his clothing, "How could I have forgotten?" He gestured to the elf with the flute, "This is my twin brother. Lindir. I don�t talk much about him."
"I can see why." Pippin GLARED at the elf, "Idiot."
"HEY!" Lindir screamed, but Haldir halted his advance, "I�ll get you later, short-shanks!"
"EEP!" The hobbit squeaked and looked down at his legs, "Not me!"
"These woods are INFESTED!" Gimli turned to Aragorn, "Come on, let�s go, get our elf and leave."
"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood," Haldir replied lightly, "You can not go back." Pippin nearly wet his pants. "She is waiting." With thus, the elf turned and began to step lightly through the woods. The Fellowship needed encouragement from the elven archers to follow.
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