(The material in this issue appeared in bulletins I have edited throughout the years. Sometimes a lighthearted look at matters helps to lift the spirit...Tim Smith).
A NICE STRANGER TELLS HIS STORY
I am a nice stranger. I never complain, I never create a scene. When I attend church services, I never object if I have to walk all the way to the front of the building to find an empty seat while everyone cranes and stares to watch my embarrassed march.
No. I just take a seat in the manner of a lady or gentleman. I am a nice visitor who never complains. Not even when I have to push by the feet of selfish members who occupy the aisle seats, and wouldn't move out of their favorite place for anyone. I just sit down meekly and quietly.
I am an ideal stranger. I don't complain when those in the nearby seats talk and whisper to each other during the sermon, or when someone is busy "cooing" at the babies instead of listening to the sermon. This does make it so I cannot hear the sermon, which I was interested in, but I don't complain.
I wouldn't hurt someone's feelings, or embarrass a mother by asking her to keep quiet so that I, who am not a member, can hear the preacher. I am a nice stranger. I never create a scene if, at the close of the service, nobody speaks to me. No, when they gather in their little groups, it doesn't bother me. I am a nice stranger, and I am too cultured to say anything about all of this. I JUST DON'T COME BACK!
Author Unknown
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A preacher said to a farmer: "Do you belong to the christian family?"
"No", said he, "They live two farms down."
"I mean are you lost?"
"No, I've been here thirty years."
"I mean are you ready for the judgment day?"
"When is it?"
"It could be tomorrow, or even today."
"Well, when you find out for sure when it
is, let me know. My wife will probably want to go."
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ONLY ONE "T" IN "DIRTY"
He was not too well educated, and his manner was somewhat rough and crude. He became a christian and was boiling with enthusiasm to be of some genuine service to his saviour.
The preacher handed him a list of 10 names with this explanation: "These men are all members of the church, but they seldom attend the services. Some of them are prominent men of the city. Contact them any way you can. Here is some church stationary you may use to write them letters. Get them back to church!!!"
The man accepted the challenge with rugged determination. About three weeks later, a letter came to the church office from a prominent physician in the city--his name had been on that list. Inside the letter was a check for $ 1000.00 and this note:
"Dear Preacher, Enclosed is my check for $ 1000.00 to make up for my missing contributions for the past several weeks. I'm sorry for missing worship, but rest assured that I'll be present this Lord's Day and every Lord's Day following. I won't miss worship again if I can help it."
Sincerely,
Dr. Jones
"P.S. Would you please tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in "dirty" and no "c" in "skunk."
Author Unknown
"Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if
we didn't spend half our time wishing."
"If you blame others for your failures, do you credit others with your
successes?"
HOW TO BE HAPPY
Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry, live simply, expect little, give much, sing often, pray always, fill your life with love, scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others and their feelings. Do to others what you would want them to do for you. These are tried links in the golden chain of contentment. Worry pulls tomorrow's clouds over today's sunshine.
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A PRAYER FOR RATTLESNAKES
Once upon a time there was a family of wayward church members who had once been active, but had lost all interest and had fallen by the wayside. There were the father and three sons, Jim, John and Sam. The elders had talked with them about their condition, the preacher had visited them, and many of the brethren had tried to get them to come back to the church--but all this did not seem to do the least bit of good.
One day when the boys were out in the pasture, a large rattlesnake bit John and he became very ill. The physician was called and after an examination, he pronounced John to be in a very critical condition. Said he, "About all you can do now is pray." The father called the preacher, and told him of John's condition. He asked the preacher to pray for John's recovery and this was his prayer:
"O Wise and Righteous Father, we thank Thee, for Thou hast in thy wisdom sent this rattlesnake to bite John, in order to bring him to his senses. He has not been inside the church house for years and it is doubtful that he has in all that time felt the need for prayer. Now we trust that this will prove a valuable lesson to him, and that it will lead to genuine commitment.
"And now, O Father, wilt Thou send another snake to bite Sam, and another to bite Jim, and another BIG ONE to bite the old man? We have all been doing everything we know for years to restore them, but to no avail. It seems, therefore, that all our combined efforts could not do what this snake has done. We thus conclude that the only thing left that will do this family any good is rattlesnakes; so Lord, send us bigger and better rattlesnakes. Through Christ we pray. Amen."
Author Unknown
VOLUME XIX August 18, 1996 Number 33
HOSPITAL NEWS: Bertha Johnson was admitted and dismissed from SAMC. Earl Dean - F.H.
APPRECIATION: Our thanks to James and Cindajo Towns for the flowers in the auditorium.
MONTHLY MEAL: Saturday August 16 6:00 P.M. Salads, Sandwiches, Homemade Ice Cream. Join us!
TELEVISION PROGRAM: Watch for SPEAKING WHERE THE BIBLE SPEAKS each THURSDAY AT 7:00 P.M. and SUNDAY AT 1:00 P.M. on GRACEBA IMAGES CHANNEL 6.
BRIDAL SHOWER: Given for Tabitha Kilgore in the Annex Sunday, August 25, 2-4 P.M. All ladies invited. The Wedding is Saturday, August 31 at 2:00 P.M. in the auditorium.