HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX WHITE!!!
BIRTHDAYS: William Bligh (English captain of the HMS BOUNTY at the time of the famous mutiny), 1754; Colonel Sanders, 1890; Phyllis Whitney (children's author), 1903; Aileen Fisher (children's author), 1906; Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder, 1923; Otis Redding, 1941; Billy Preston, 1946; Joe Theisman, 1949; Michael Keaton, 1951; Kirsty McNichol, 1962; B. J. Armstrong, 1967.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1689 (perhaps under the watchful eye of my friend Bobby Roney), Peter the Great, at the age of 17, took power in Russia.
On this date in 1754 William Bligh was born.
On this date in 1776 the British hired well-trained German soldiers to help put down the rebellion in the American Colonies. Because 17,000 of the 29,000 German mercenaries were supplied by the principality of Hesse-Cassel, they became known as Hessians. They made up about 1/3 of the force fighting for the British in the Revolutionary War.
On this date in 1836 Abraham Lincoln received a license to practice law.
On this date in 1850 California became the 31 State, a year after gold was discovered in her ground.
On this date in 1851 a weekly budget of $10.37 was proposed for the average working-class family of 5!
On this date in 1893 President Grover Cleveland's wife became the mother of a baby girl, the first child born to a First Lady in the White House.
On this date in 1908 Orville Wright made the first flight that exceeded 1 hour.
On this date in 1908 New York Mounted Police went on duty for the first time.
On this date in 1956 Elvis Presley sprang upon a largely unsuspecting public on the "Ed Sullivan Show".
On this date in 1963 a Giant Panda was born in captivity for the first time.
On this date in 1985 G. Gordon Liddy said that the story about him eating rats as a child was blown way out of proportion. Explains Liddy: "I only ate the left hind quarter. Of one rat."
Also on this date in 1985, Nancy Reagan taped her first rock video, singing a chorus of an anti-drug song called "Stop the Madness."
On this date in 1988, surrendering to Republican pressure, Jim Wright (then Speaker of the House), announced that the Pledge of Allegiance would be recited twice a week in the House of Representatives.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The rent for Blavon Castle in Bedee, France, for 300 years consisted of an obligation by its tenants to act as executioners of all doomed criminals in the district... The Castle of St. Briavels, England, was built to save Welshmen from losing their right arms -- The castle was constructed to mark the border between England and Wales and prevent accidental crossings, because any Welshman caught over the border was punished by cutting off his right hand... The "Rev." John Oughterson of Monkton, Scottland, was said to have never finished a sermon -- he was reportedly so overcome by his own eloquence that he always fainted before he finished his lesson. Talk about personality quirks!!! Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, whose bedrooms were paved with red, white, blue and black marble?
Alfred North Whitehead said, "Without adventure civilization is in full decay." Live a little! Of course, live properly... Have a nice day!
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From GCFL: Garage Sale?
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.
A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.
"No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date."
"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.
"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
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Thanks to Chadlex: The Well
One day
a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for
hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally
he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway,
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. So he invited all his neighbors
to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel
dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and
cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edgeof the well and trotted off!
Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
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From Joke-Of-The-Day: Blonde Cookbook
MONDAY:
It's
fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat
12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra
bowls.
TUESDAY:
Bob
wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing.
So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.
WEDNESDAY:
A good
day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.
It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the
rice any.
THURSDAY:
Today
Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients,
then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led
up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY:
I found
an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat
it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back,
everything was the same as when I left.
SATURDAY:
Bob
did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress
it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.
SUNDAY:
Bob's
folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger.
Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set
the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD
NIGHT DEAR DIARY.
This
has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow tocome so I can
try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would
like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.
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Thanks to Chadlex: Alabama Hunters
A couple of Alabamians are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help; first, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....
The hunter says, "OK, now what?"
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ANSWER: Ahasuerus' (Xerxes') bedrooms were paved with red, white, blue and black marble -- Esther 1:6 -- "...the beds were of gold and silver, upon a pavement of red, and blue, and white, and black, marble."
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Good Morning: It's Monday September 10, 2001!
SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY: Happy Birthday Loren Russell!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Robert Wise, 1914; Arnold Palmer, 1929; Charles Kuralt, 1934; Jose Feliciano, 1945; Amy Irving, 1963; Cap Boso, 1963.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1297 the Scottish defeated the British at the Battle of Sterling. Scottish rebel forces, led by William Wallace and Andrew Murray, ambushed the Earl of Surrey's army on the bridge at Forth near Sterling. The Earl's three hundred cavalrymen and ten thousand foot soldiers were quickly defeated by a handful of highlanders.
On this date in 1623 a boatload of lumber and furs, the first cargo from the Plymouth Colony, was shipped back to England.
On this date in 1813 Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry defeated the British fleet in the Battle of Lake Erie. He said, "We have met the enemy, and they are ours."
On this date in 1846 the world was soon to be in stitches as Elias Howe received a patent on his sewing machine.
On this date in 1855 "Pathfinder of the Seas" Matthew F. Maury published a book that saved ships weeks of sailing time on long runs. THE PHYSICAL GEOGRAPHY OF THE SEA AND ITS METEOROLOGY included wind and current charts for the North Atlantic Ocean based on Maury's own travels and information gathered from ships' records. His work led to the establishment of an international system of oceanographic record keeping.
On this date in 1875 the American Forestry Association became the first U.S. conservation organization.
On this date in 1913 the first coast-to-coast paved road in the United States opened. It was named the Lincoln Highway. It is now called Interstate 80, going through the Great Plains and past the Great Salt Lake on its way to San Francisco's Golden Gate.
On this date in 1927 hot dogs in zipper casings first appeared in butcher shops.
On this date in 1964 14-year-old Lenore Modell became the youngest swimmer to cross the English Channel.
On this date in 1978 President Jimmy Carter signed a proclamation for the first Grandparents Day.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Apprentices who fled their masters in 18th century England were compelled, upon being recaptured, to wear identification day and night for months. The identification was in the form of an iron collar forged around their necks... Richard Rothwell, Sr. and RIchard Rothwell, Jr. served as "Rectors" of the Church of Sefton, England for an uninterrupted period of 100 years -- 1763-1801-1863... In Hanoi, Indo-China there stands a "one-legged temple". It was built by King Ly Thai Ton in 1049 as the result of a "dream". The dream so affected King Ly that he had one of his own legs amputated, married a one-legged queen, established a court of one-legged courtiers and built this temple. Talk about dedication... Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: Where (in the Bible) is soap mentioned?
Here is an uplifting quote to start our day properly: "The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart" (Helen Keller).
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Thanks to JLH: Flies
I stopped by a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he replied, "Yeah, 3 males and 2 females".
Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference.
He answered, "3 were on a beer can, and 2 were on the phone."
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Thanks to a friend: What Do You See?
A rabbi took his students out very early in the morning before dawn while it was still dark. The rabbi asked the students what they saw. One student said there was nothing there. The rabbi said, "No, look again." As the sun began to rise over the horizon, he asked his students again to tell him what they saw. The students gazed into the distance and they began to see a form One student said that he thought it was a tree. The rabbi said, "No, look again." As the sun began to rise higher and the light was still faint, another student said he thought he saw a cow. The rabbi said, "No, look again." By this time the sun had come up and it was light outside. This time one of the students recognized a human form and said, "It's my brother!". The rabbi said, "Yes, it is your brother." His brother was sitting on a limb in the tree. The point of the story is that when we are in darkness we don't see others for who they really are - our brothers and sisters.
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Thanks
to a friend: The Ant and the Grasshopper
(Author
Unknown)
A mother of a 9-year-old boy, Mark, received a phone call in the middle of the afternoon. It was the teacher from her son's school.
"Mrs. Smith, something unusual happened today in your son's third grade class. Your son did something that surprised me so much that I thought you should know about it immediately."
Mother seldom want to hear from their child's teacher in the middle of the day. The mother was uneasy and nervous by such a beginning to a phone call. "What now?" the mother wondered.
The teacher continued, "I have been teaching for many years and nothing like this has happened until now. This morning I was teaching a lesson on creative writing. And as I always do, I tell the story of the ant and the grasshopper. The ant works hard all summer and stores up plenty of food. But the grasshopper plays all summer and does no work.
Then winter comes. The grasshopper begins to starve because he has no food. So he hops to the ants house and begins to beg. 'Please Mr. Ant, you have much food please let me eat, too.' Now boys and girls your job is to write the ending to the story.
Your son, Mark, raised his hand. "Teacher, may I draw a picture?"
"Well, yes, Mark, if you like, you may draw a picture. But first you must write the ending to the story."
The papers came in. As in all the years past, most of the students said that the ant shared his food through the winter and both the ant and the grasshopper lived. As always, a few children said, 'The ant said, "No, Mr. Grasshopper. You should have worked in the summer and not played. Now, I have just enough food for myself." So the ant lived and the grasshopper died.
But your son ended the story in a way different from any other child, ever. He wrote, "So the ant gave all of his food to the grasshopper; the grasshopper lived through the winter. But the ant died."
And the
picture? At the bottom of the page, Mark had drawn three crosses.
"He gave everything to us so that
we might
live; but Jesus died."
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Thanks to JLH: Rules For Dealing With Women:
* The female always makes the rules.
* The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
* No male can possibly know all the rules.
* If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
* The female is never wrong.
* If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
* If the above applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
* An apology without flowers is not an apology.
* The female may change her mind at any time.
* The male must never change his mind at any time without the expressed consent of the female.
* The male may not point out that the female has changed her mind.
* The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
* The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
* The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
* No anger or emotional outburst on the part of the female may be blamed on PMS. This will result in swift and extreme retribution.
* The male may not inquire if the female is angry or upset.
* The male may not inquire when the female will be ready.
* The male is expected to mind-read at all times.
* Any attempt to document these rules may result in bodily harm or death to the male.
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ANSWER: There are 2 answers to today's question about soap being mentioned in the Bible. Jeremiah 2:22 -- "...and take thee much soap," and Malachi 3:22 (RV) -- "...for he is like a refiner's fire, and like fuller's soap:"
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