Good
Morning: It's Sunday September 30, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:
William Wrigley (founder of the Wrigley Chewing Gum Co.), 1861; Hans Geiger
(coinventor of the Geiger counter), 1882; Lester Maddox, 1915; Alvin Tresslet
(children's author), 1916; Deborah Kerr, 1921; Truman Capote, 1924; Angie
Dickinson, 1931; Johnny Mathis, 1935; Marilyn McCoo, 1943; Deborah Allen,
1953.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1841 Samuel Slocum patented the stapler. He called it "a
machine for sticking pens into paper."
On this
date in 1846 Ether was first used as an anesthetic. William Morton
pulled a tooth from a patient sedated by ether.
On this
date in 1911 Lt. H. H. Arnold became the first stuntman while performing
dangerous feats for the film "The Military Air Scout".
On this
date in 1927 Babe Ruth hit his record-setting 60th home run of the season
in New York's Yankee Stadium. The record stood for 34 years.
On this
date in 1935 the classic Gershwin musical "Porgy and Bess" opened at the
Colonial Theater in Boston to very mixed reviews.
On this
date in 1958 the Frisbee was patented.
On this
date in 1960 "The Flintstones" premiered on TV.
On this
date in 1963 a Gerenuk (a member of the antelope family) was first born
in the United States.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: AYE can be rearranged YEA without changing its meaning...
Sultan Ahmed I of Turkey declared war on Persia in 1611 because he could
not afford gifts for his 3,000 wives -- and was determined to get them
1,000,000 pounds of silk from the Persians... Cardinal Archbishop Jean-Baptiste
de Belloy (1709-1808) of Paris, France was stricken with the first cold
of his entire life at the age of 99 -- and died! Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA:
In the Bible, who tells of a "garden of nuts"?
Miguel de Cervantes provides our quote for today: "Good actions ennoble
us, and we are the sons of our own deeds."
*******************************************************
From
JokesEveryDay: The Old Man
The
old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country
preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest
man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally,
the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there
and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa in there."
*******************************************************
Thanks
to AB:
One
day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students
in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each
of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the
class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room,
each one handed in the papers.
That
Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate
sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday
she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was
smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that
I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much,"
were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in
class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or
with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished
its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another.
That group of students moved on.
Several
years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher
attended the funeral of that special student. The church was packed
with his friends. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up
to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded:
"yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."
After
the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon.
Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his
teacher. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet
out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed.
We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully
removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped,
folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking
that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things
each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much
for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see Mark treasured
it."
All
of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled
rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list It's in the top drawer
of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his
in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's
in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook,
took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group.
"I carry this with me at all times, "Vicki said and without batting an
eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists." That's
when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and
for all his friends who would never see him again.
The
density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will
end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please,
tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to PW: The odds
By now
everyone has been hearing the death toll rise and reports of the destruction
from the terrorist attacks on the US. These were deplorable acts that we
will never forget. But now is a time to look at the other side of the numbers
coming out of New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. The sad but somewhat
uplifting side that the mainstream media has not reported yet - the SURVIVAL
rates and some positive news about the attacks.
***
The Buildings ***
* The
World Trade Center - The twin towers of the World Trade Center were places
of employment for some 50,000 people. With the missing list of just over
5,000 people, that means 90% of the people targeted survived the attack.
A 90% on a test is an 'A'.
* The
Pentagon - Some 23,000 people were the target of a third plane aimed at
the Pentagon. The latest count shows that only 123 lost their lives. That
is an amazing 99.5% survival rate. in addition, the plane seems to have
come in too low, too early to affect a large portion of the building. On
top of that, the section that was hit was the first of five sections to
undergo renovations that would help protect the Pentagon from terrorist
attacks. It had recently completed straightening and blastproofing, saving
untold lives. This attack was sad, but a statistical failure.
***
The Planes ***
* American
Airlines Flight 77 This Boeing 757 that was flown into the outside of the
Pentagon could have carried up to 289 people, yet only 64 were aboard.
Luckily 78% of the seats were empty.
* American
Airlines Flight 11 This Boeing 767 could have had up to 351 people aboard,
but only carried 92.
Thankfully
74% of the seats were unfilled.
* United
Airlines Flight 175 Another Boeing 767 that could have sat 351 people only
had 65 people on board.
Fortunately
it was 81% empty.
* United
Airlines Flight 93 This Boeing 757 was one of the most uplifting stories
yet. The smallest flight to be hijacked with only 45 people aboard out
of a possible 289 had 84% of its capacity unused. Yet these people stood
up to the attackers and thwarted a fourth attempted destruction of a national
landmark, saving untold numbers of lives in the process.
***
In Summary *** Out of potentially 74,280 Americans directly targeted by
these inept cowards, 93% survived or avoided the attacks. That's a higher
survival rate than heart attacks, breast cancer, kidney transplants and
liver transplants - all common, survivable illnesses.
The
Hijacked planes were mostly empty, the Pentagon was hit at it's strongest
point, the overwhelming majority of people in the World Trade Center buildings
escaped, and a handful of passengers gave the ultimate sacrifice to save
even more lives.
Pass
this information on to those in fear and the media. Don't fear these terrorists.
The odds are against them.
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
Solomon told of a garden of nuts -- Song of Solomon 6:11 -- "I went down
into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley,..." The Hebrew
word used here means "walnuts."
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Monday October 1, 2001!
OCTOBER
OBSERVANCES: Computer Learning Month, Family History Month, National
Dental Hygiene Month, National Pasta Month, and Pizza Festival Month.
BIRTHDAYS:
Vladimir Horowitz, 1904; Walter Matthau, 1920; Jimmy Carter, 1924; William
Rehnquist, 1924; Tom Bosley, 1927; George Peppard, 1928; Julie Andrews,
1935; Grete Waitz, 1953.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1903 the first World Series began.
On this
date in 1908 Henry Ford introduced the Model T, known affectionately as
the Tin Lizzie.
On this
date in 1918, surrounded by the Germans, the famous World War I fighting
unit known as the Battalion, was trapped in the Argonne Forest. They
would hold out against unbelievable odds until they were rescued on October
8.
On this
date in 1971 Disney World opened in Orlando, Florida.
On this
date in 1987 Pat Robertson announced his candidacy for the Republican presidential
nomination.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: The Governor's Palace in San Antonio, Texas, was originally
the home of Ygnacio Perez -- who bequeathed each of its rooms to a different
member of his family... William Wheelwright, Yankee Sea Captain, was shipwrecked
on his first voyage, fell ill on his 2nd voyage, was wounded and maimed
on this 3rd voyage, and shipwrecked on his 4th voyage. Yet, he loved
the sea all his life... King Edward VI (1537-1553) was the only "Puritan"
who ever sat on the English Throne. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA:
Who (in the Bible) fed one hundred prophets in a cave?
Miguel de Cervantes is the "quotee" again today: "Delay always breeds
danger and to protract a great design is often to ruin it."
*******************************************************
From
Lame Jokes: Funny Police Quotes......
"The
handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."
"If
you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So,
you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes
sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.
Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning!
You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or
I'll give you another ticket."
"The
answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah,
we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's
tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No
sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just
how big were those two beers?
*******************************************************
Thanks
to G. & L. R. for this one:
It is
with the saddest heart I pass on the following:
Please
join me in remembering a great icon - the veteran Pillsbury spokesman.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy
was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out
to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California
Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The
gravesite was piled high with flours. As longtime friend, Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much
he was kneaded, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later
life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie,
wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little
flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll
model for millions.
Toward
the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy
is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane
Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty
minutes.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to BC: "FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE IMPORTANT, BUT NOT ALL IMPORTANT
PEOPLE ARE FAMOUS."
*******************************************************
From
Lame Jokes:
"I have
to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies
after me."
"Is
that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The
electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
*******************************************************
From
Lame Jokes: Bad News...
Doctor:
I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient:
Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor:
The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours
to live.
Patient:
24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's
the very bad news?
Doctor:
I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to LBS: Black and White
You
could hardly see for all the snow,
So you
spread the rabbit ears as far as they'd go.
Pull
a chair up to the TV set,
"Good
night David, Good night Chet"
Depending
on the channel you tuned,
You'd
get Rob and Laura or Ward and June.
Andy
Griffith and Barney Fife,
Lawrence
Welk or This is Your Life.
I Love
Lucy and The Real McCoys,
Dennis
the Menace, the Cleaver boys.
Rawhide,
Gunsmoke, Wagon Train.
Superman
and Lois Lane.
Father
Knows Best and Patty Duke,
Rin
Tin Tin and Lassie too.
Donna
Reed on Thursday night,
Life
looked better in black and white
They
were simple folks living a simple life,
Where
everything always turned out right.
The
good guys always won the fight.
I wanna
go back to black and white.
In God
they trusted, in their own bed they slept.
A promise
made was a promise kept.
They
never cussed or broke a vow,
They'd
never make the network now.
Nowadays
nothing's the way it seems
In living
color or on the screens.
The
good guys don't always win the fight,
Life
doesn't always turn out right.
If only
I could, I'd rather be
In a
TV world of '63.
It felt
so good, it felt so right.
Life
looked better in black and white.
I'd trade
all the channels on the satellite,
If I
could just turn back the clock tonight
To when
everybody knew wrong from right.
Life
was better in black and white
*******************************************************
Thanks
to RM:
A Texas
rancher was traveling on business. As he traveled one Sunday morning,
he spotted a small country church and decided to visit and worship in that
quaint building. As he entered he found that he was apparently very
early. No one else was in the building. But as the advertised
time for worship approached the only one to join him was the preacher.
Finally
the preacher stood up at the podium and welcomed the visitor and preached
his lesson. After the lengthy sermon, the preacher, discarding formalities,
asked from the podium, "What did you think of my sermon?"
The
rancher looked around and realized that the preacher was talking to him
because he was the only one there. The rancher then gave deep thought to
the preacher's question. After a few moments the rancher said, "Well
if I had only one cow show up for feeding, I wouldn't put out the whole
load of hay."
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
Obadiah (I Kings 18:4) fed 100 prophets in a cave -- "For it was so, when
Jezebel cut off the prophets of the Lord, that Obadiah took an hundred
prophets, and hid them by fifty in a cave, and fed them with bread and
water."
*******************************************************
Gradowiths
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