Happy Anniversary: Jeff and Kellye Epperson!!!
SPECIAL OBSERVANCE: Today is "World's End Day", the anniversary celebration of William Miller's (Seventh Day Adventist) prediction of the end of the world in 1844. Don't worry, it didn't happen...
BIRTHDAYS: Franz Liszt, 1811; N.C. Wyeth (American painter and illustrator), 1883; Jimmy Foxx, 1907; Joan Fontaine, 1917; Timothy Leary, 1920; Dory Previn, 1929; Annette Funicello, 1942; Catherine Deneuve, 1943; Jeff Goldblum 1952; Brian Boitano, 1963.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 2137 B.C. the earliest recorded eclipse occurred.
On this date in 1746 Princeton University was chartered.
On this date in 1797 Andre Garnerin gave the first public demonstration of his new invention -- the parachute. He jumped from a balloon to show how it worked. Fortunately for him, it worked.
On this date in 1836 Sam Houston became the first president of the Republic of Texas.
On this date in 1883 the Metropolitan Opera House in New York opened.
On this date in 1903 the first moving picture to tell a story, THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY, was produced by the Edison studio in New Jersey. Considered daring because of its record-breaking nine-minute length (it was believed that audiences wouldn't sit still that long... what? did they think it was church???). The film introduced an actor who soon became America's first Western hero -- "Bronco Billy" Anderson of Brooklyn, New York.
On this date in 1938 Chester Carlson invented Xerography, a duplicating process that uses static electricity.
On this date in 1962 the world came too close for comfort to fulfilling William Miller's vision as President Kennedy took to television to demand that the Soviets remove their missiles from Cuba.
On this date in 1975 the Soviet spacecraft VENERA 9 landed instruments on Venus.
On this date in 1985, having prepared a story about the connection between JFK and RFK to the death of Marilyn Monroe which greatly displeased Ethel Kennedy's close friend and ABC boss Roone Arledge, Geraldo Rivera was fired by ABC news.
On this date in 1989 Chess champion Garri Kasparov defeated Deep Thought, a chess-playing computer.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The steeple of the Parish Church of Keith, Scotland was used from 1569 to 1819 as the local jail... Marshal Suvarov (1729-1800), one of Russia's most celebrated military leaders, personally awakened his soldiers each morning by crowing like a rooster... The Asti Church atop Mount Rocciamelone, Italy, was built by Bonifacio d'Asti in fulfillment of a vow he made while he was a prisoner of the Turks. It can be reached only by a difficult climb of 9300 feet! Services have been held in it once every year since 1358. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, who killed his seventy brothers on one stone?
I certainly like this one... "The investigation of the meaning of words is the beginning of education" (Antisthenes). Happy Monday to you!
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From our Archives --
From SportsJokes: (This one almost didn't make it...) DOUBLE OR NOTHING
One day, a NASCAR fan was walking along the beach and came across an odd looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie.
The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued.
"What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.
The Genie replied, "For each of your wishes, every Gordon fan in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for."
"Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie.
"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now, every Gordon Fan in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million dollars..." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every Gordon Fan in the world is TWO million dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man.
"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got MY million," replied the man.
"And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie.
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney...."
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From a friend: A Lesson From the Old West!
Back in the late 1800's, the main mode of transportation in the West was the horse. Many, many horses, however, ran wild and sometimes a few cowboys would round up a bunch into a corral and then sell them to other cowboys for their own personal stock and use.
But being wild, just buying such a horse did not mean the new owner could immediately ride it. They usually had to be broken in to the use of a bridle and saddle and someone sitting on them and telling them what to do. Essentially, breaking a horse was getting the horse to submit its will to that of the cowboy. The difficulty of this task is shown in the fact that there were some cowboys with special ability that just made their living by breaking horses. Now you probably have already recognized the analogy to the Christian. The Lord has bought us and we belong to Him. Paul tells us "You are not your own...You have been bought with a price..." (I Cor. 6:19-20). But that does not automatically make His will our will. In the words of our analogy, we have to be broken. Hence, Paul again tells us "...present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice...be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is..." (Rom. 12:1-2).
We are owned by Him, lock, stock and barrel, as they used to say, but being submissive to our Owner may be another matter. And we have to make the decision to let Him be in control.
Some of those Old West horses were not at all easy to break, and sometimes, even after being broken, they had flashes of wildness and stubbornness. This usually brought on another lesson in breaking, but the happiest horse was the one who bonded with his rider and the horse knew what his master wanted and they worked smoothly as a unit. A well trained cutting horse, for instance, would do round up work, many times, without the cowboy even having to pull the reins or guide with his knees or heels. The horse knew what his master wanted and did it. For the believer who has submitted his will to the Lord, the Lord says "I will guide you with My eye" (Psa. 32:8) and Proverbs 3:5-6 becomes a reality. True. For some of us who tend to want our own way instead of His, we find that "...whom the Lord loves He disciplines..." (Heb. 12:6), but this only confirms that we are beloved children of God "...for what son is there whom his father does not discipline" (Heb. 12:7). Being broken shows that we belong to Him and He wants us to be in harmony with Him and in His will.
Back in the 1880's, cowboys and horses went together like bread and butter, and there are important lessons for every believer to learn from the cowboy and his horse in the Old West.
Author Unknown
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ANSWER: Abimelech (Judges 9:5) killed his 70 brothers on one stone -- "And he (Abimelech) went unto his father's house at Ophrah, and slew his brethren the sons of Jerubbaal, being threescore and ten persons, upon one stone:..."
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Good Morning: It's Tuesday October 23, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Adlai Stevenson, 1835; Sarah Bernhardt, 1844; Gertrude Ederle, 1906; Bob Montana (comic-strip artist and creator of "Archie"), 1920; Johnny Carson, 1925; Diana Dors, 1931; Chi-Chi Rodriguez, 1934; Pele` (real name: Edson Arantes do Nascimento, Brazilian soccer star), 1940; P.J. Petersen (children's author), 1941; Michael Crichton, 1942; Weird Al Yankovic, 1959; Mike Tomczak, 1962; Doug Flutie, 1962.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
This is the day that the swallows leave San Juan Capistrano.
On this date in 1888 Theopilus Van Kannel patented a "storm door structure" to keep blasts of cold air from getting into public buildings. His invention came to be known as the revolving door.
On this date in 1910 Blanche Scott became the first woman to fly solo in a plane, reaching a height of 13 feet.
On this date in 1915 the first national Horseshoe- Pitching championships took place in Kellerton, Kan.
On this date in 1915 25,000 women marched in New York City to demand the right to vote.
On this date in 1962 the twelve-year old Stevie Wonder made his first recording, "Thank You for Loving Me All the Way", for Motown.
On this date in 1981 the national debt reached $1 trillion.
On this date in 1983 a truck bomb at the US barracks in Beirut killed 241 Marines.
On this date in 1983 also Jessica Savitch, 36, NBC newscaster, drowned along with her boyfriend when he mistakenly drives their rented station wagon into a 15-ft.-deep canal during a storm.
On this date in 1987 Robert Bork was rejected by the largest Senate margin ever (58-42) in his bid for the Supreme Court.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Madeleine de Vercheres (1678-1747), the Canadian Joan of Arc, at the age of 14 successfully defended Fort Dangerous, near Montreal, against a fierce attack by 50 Iroquois Indians -- aided only by her 2 younger brothers, a man of 80 and 2 soldiers. She held out 8 days until reinforcements arrived... The Forth and Clyde Canal in Kirkintilloch, Scotland carries ships above a railroad trestle -- which in turn spans the Luggie River... Nathanael Greene (1742-1786), American Revolutionary hero, was promoted from Private to Brigadier General because he limped! Greene proved to be a brilliant military strategist -- but he was made a General merely to spare him the taunts of his buddies in the ranks. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: What murdered girl (in the Bible) was mourned by her girl chums four days a year?
Here is one to think about for our Tuesday morning -- "Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research" (Wilson Mizner, 1876 - 1933).
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From a Friend: (Probably based on a true story...)
The minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
"The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I could not stop talking!"
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From SATURDAY HUMOR:
Walking into a noisy classroom with his TA, the instructor slapped a hand on the desk and ordered sharply: "I demand pandemonium!"
The class quieted down immediately. "It isn't what you demand," explained the instructor to his TA, "but how you demand it."
*****
A man has a first appointment with a psychiatrist and when asked why he's there, the fellow responds, "Doctor, I'm tired of being on the outside looking in."
"Well..." responded the doctor, "sounds like we have to try to improve your self-image. Let's get a few basic facts first. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a window washer," responded the patient.
*****
A man walks into a London restaurant with his wife. The waiter approaches the table and asks for their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil," he says.
"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," answers the man, "she'll order for herself."
*****
A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been.
After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'."
So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."
At hearing this, the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody know pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!"
*****
Florida Chips
A Fort Lauderdale motorcycle cop was on patrol one bright sunny December afternoon, when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns a-blasting.
He stopped
behind the last car in line. Then he noticed the reason for the noise.
The light directing that lane of traffic was green.
He pulled
out of line and pulled up alongside the first car in line to see what the
problem was.
The
car was a big Cadillac driven by an elderly woman. The lady appeared to
be well into her 80's, if not over 90 years old. The officer motioned for
her to roll down her window, which she promptly did. He then asked her
why she was stopped when the light was green.
She said, "Oh, because I'm on my way to my sister's house which is that way" and she pointed to the right.
The motorcycle cop said, "Well go ahead! The light is green."
The woman responded, "But the sign under the light says 'RIGHT TURN ON RED'."
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From a friend: THE PRODIGAL SON (In the Key of 'F')
Feeling footloose and frisky, a feather-brained fellow forced his fond father to fork over the farthings and flew to foreign fields and frittered his fortune, feasting fabulously with faithless friends.
Fleeced by his fellows in flooy, and facing famine, he found himself a feed-flinger in a filthy farmyard. Fairly famishing, he fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.
"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare finer," the frazzled fugitive forlornly fumbled, frankly facing facts. Frustrated by failure and filled with foreboding, he fled forthwith to his family. Falling at his father's feet, he forlornly fumbled, "Father, I've flunked and fruitlessly forfeited family favor!"
The farsighted father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged the flunkies to fetch a fatling from the flock and fix a feast.
The fugitive's fault-finding brother frowned on fickle forgiveness of former folderol. But the faithful father figured, "Filial fidelity is fine, but the fugitive is found! What forbids fervent festivity? Let flags be unfurled. Let fanfares flare"
And the father's forgiveness formed the foundation for the former fugitive's future faith and fortitude.
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ANSWER: Jephthah's daughter (Judges 11:39-40) was mourned by her girl chums four days a year -- "...And it was a custom in Israel, That the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year."
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Good Morning: It's Wednesday October 24, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Anton Van Leeuwenhoek (Dutch naturalist who developed the microscope), 1632; William Penn (founder of Pennsylvania), 1644; Sarah Hale (author of "Mary Had A Little Lamb), 1788; Moss Hart, 1904; poet Denise Levertov, 1923; Y.A. Tittle, 1926; David Nelson, 1936; F. Murray Abraham, 1940; Bill Wyman, 1941; Kevin Kline, 1947.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1793 Slave Quork Walker sued his master and won his freedom in a Massachusetts court. The decision, which ended slavery in Massachusetts, was reached after the judge told the jury that the Colony's constitution declared, "all men are born free and equal."
On this date in 1826 the patent was issued for an invention that never set the world on fire, the safety match.
On this date in 1836 the "friction match" was patented in the United States by A.D. Phillips.
On this date in 1861 the first transcontinental telegram was sent from San Francisco to New York City.
On this date in 1901 Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to survive a barrel ride over Niagara Falls.
On this date in 1931 the George Washington Bridge opened, allowing traffic to cross the Hudson River. It had 4 lanes in each direction on two levels.
On this date in 1945 the United Nations' charter was adopted.
On this date in 1946 a dog named Chips received the Distinguished Service Cross for courageous action in World War II.
On this date in 1983 Los Angeles news anchor Jerry Dunphy, widely believed to have been the inspiration for the character Ted Baxter in the Mary Tyler Moore show, was shot while sitting in his car at the entrance to his studio. As he was in the street waiting for the ambulance, he reportedly said: "How do I look?" He survived the attack.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Lake Nego Bioux near Vaccares, France, by a strange process of evaporation in the hot weather forms on its surface a crust of mud so thick that a man can walk across the deep lake... Women of the Tupari Tribe in Brazil regularly visit "beauticians" who bite off their eyelashes... In Annapolis, MD there stands a house that was so lovely it make a woman jealous -- it was built in 1774 by Matthais Hammond for his intended bride, but she became convinced that he loved it more than he did her, so she eloped with another man! Hammond never occupied the house. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, where was the first cemetery?
These quotes are provided by Quotes of the Day [email protected]:
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - All today's quotes are from Johnny Carson
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Here is a beautiful poem (via link) written by L.B. Strawn and presented on a most attractive page --
http://www.supertaf.com/ft.php?t=369231 Great L.B. Strawn Poem! Check it out if you can!
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Thanks to BC for this thought --
ALL OF NOAH'S ANIMALS WENT ON THE ARK IN PAIRS EXCEPT THE WORMS, THEY WENT IN APPLES!
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From Mailbits:
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians.
*By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
*The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
*Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
*Healthy-appearing decrepit sixty-nine-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
*The patient refused an autopsy.
*The patient has no past history of suicides.
*The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
*Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
*The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a forty-pound weight gain in the past three days.
*She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
*The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
*She is numb from her toes down.
*The skin was moist and dry.
*Patient was alert and unresponsive.
*When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
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From LAFFADAY -- A Full Recovery
After dying in a car crash, three friends find themselves at an orientation to enter heaven. Each one was asked, "When you are in your casket, what would you like to hear your friends and family saying about you?"
Sean says, "I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a great family man."
Karl says, "I would like to hear them say I was a wonderful husband and an excellent teacher who made a difference in children's lives."
Juan says, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
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2 good ones from CLASSIC LAFF-A-Day:
A blonde is standing on the bank of a lake, as she looks across the lake she sees another blonde. She yells across, "Hey, how do I get across the lake?"
The other blonde yells back, "YOU ARE ALREADY ACROSS THE LAKE!"
*****
Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth. Portuguese Proverb
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Thanks to LBS: From AndyChaps: Real Blonde Jokes!
Q.
What does a blonde owl say?
A. "What?
What?"
Q. What
do you call a blonde at college?
A. A
visitor.
Q: What
is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144
blondes.
Q. Why
do blondes drive BMWs?
A. Because
they can spell it.
Q: Why
do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes
Go In First.
Q. Why
can't blondes become elevator operators?
A. Too
difficult to learn the route.
Q. Why
do blondes have more fun?
A. Because
they don't know any better.
Q. What's
the best thing a blonde can make for dinner?
A. Reservations.
Q. Why
did the blonde cross the road?
A. I
don't know. Neither did she.
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ANSWER: The first cemetery was at Mamre (Hebron) in Canaan -- Genesis 23:17-20 -- "And the field of Ephron, which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre, the field, and the cave which was therein,... were made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a buryingplace by the sons of Heth." Verse 19: "...Mamre: the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan."
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