BIRTHDAYS: James Cook, 1728; Isaac Singer, 1811; Teddy Roosevelt, 1858; Dylan Thomas, 1914; Nanette Fabray, 1920; Ruby Dee, 1924; Warren Christopher, 1925; Kyle Rote, 1928; John Cleese, 1939.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1829 the first patent for a baby carriage was issued in the United States.
On this date in 1904 the first subway opened to the public in New York City.
On this date in 1938 Dupont announced the invention of nylon.
On this date in 1945 Harry Truman became the first President to appear on Television.
On this date in 1959 Luna 3 transmitted the first pictures of the dark side of the moon.
On this date in 1977 Anwar Sadat and Menachem Begin received the Nobel Peace Prize.
On this date in 1985 Billy Martin was fired, for the fourth time, by George Steinbrenner as manager of the New York Yankees. He was replaced by Lou Piniella.
On this date in 1986 Melissa Sanders began polesitting to raise money for cancer research. She went on to break the world record of 488 days.
On this date in 1989 Karen Lindsay of Norcross, Ga., was arrested for failing to return overdue library books. She spent the night in jail and was released.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Great Neston, an English town of 1405 acres, was won by William Whitmore from the Earl of Derby on the turn of one card (1598)... James Henderson (1849-1940) of South Boston, Va., never bought an item on credit and was never ill in his entire lifetime of 91 years... The District of Christchurch, England, including its great castle, was leased to the Earl of Salisbury and his descendants in 1454 for an annual rental of one red rose. A descendant of the Earl forfeited the lease after 87 years because he was unable to find a rose in time to make his payment! Go figure... Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: Who (in the Bible) was hanged on the gallows he had prepared for another?
One to think (and chuckle) about: "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target" (Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant).
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From
our archives -- From L.B.S. (Forwarded to him from his neice) Darwin's
Theory of Evolution Exploded
Three
monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing
things as they're said to be.
Said
one to the others, "Now listen you two,
There's
a certain rumor that can't be true,
That
man descended from our noble race;
Why
the very idea is itself a disgrace.
"No monkey
ever deserted his wife,
Starved
her babies and ruined her life.
And
you've never known a mother monk
To leave
her babies with others to bunk
Or pass
them on from one to another,
Till
they scarcely know who is their mother.
"And
another thing you'll never see-
A monk
build a fence 'round a coconut tree
And
let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding
all other monks to taste;
Why,
if a put a fence around a coconut tree
Starvation
would force you to steal from me.
"There's
another thing a monk won't do-
Go out
at night and get on a stew;
Or use
a club, or gun, or knife
To take
some other poor monkey's life.
Yes,
man descended, the ornery cuss,
But,
brother, he didn't descend from us!"
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Thanks to LBS: Lightning Bugs
"Sitting in the yard on a late summer evening, my toddler Seth saw a lightning bug. Relating the light on the bug to the flashlight he had received for Christmas he took it upon himself to rename the bugs flashlight bugs."
"Climbing on my lap, he asked, "Mama, where are those bugs batteries?' I brushed him off with a rub on the head, saying, "You are so silly." Standing beside me now, he leaned over, putting his cheek to mine. With his finger he pointed as if he was trying to focus me in on his level.
Then he said, "Looka, you see the light?" I shook my head, acknowledging the light. Once again Seth asked " Where are the batteries?'"
I finally decided to play along with him and for times sake, I told him, "I guess their battery is Jesus." Seth loved the idea.
Later that night he returned from the porch, pulling me by the hand shouting, "Mama, Mama, come looka, the flashlight bugs got more of Jesus. They are a lot brighter now."
What an object lesson for Christians! The flashlight bugs had the same amount of light the only thing that had changed was circumstances and I must say they fulfilled their purpose, the darker the sky, the brighter their light would shine."
"Dark skies in our lives will come and when they do, will we fulfill our purpose? Do we let the light in us shine so those watching can see that Jesus is the battery?"
"Sometimes it's difficult when summer returns and I no longer have Seth to sit and watch the flashlight bugs, so now I sit alone and look for the brightest one and smile for that one which has the best battery."
Are you like the lightning bug? As things get darker in your life do you shine brighter and brighter? Do you have more and more of Jesus as circumstances change in your life? Wow! A little child shall lead them one writer wrote, may we become as this little child and shine brighter and brighter in a world that is full of darkness. God bless you, have a good week in glowing brighter and shining with Jesus. Author Unknown
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Thanks to LBS: Who's Packing Your Parachute?
Charles Plumb, a U. S. Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.
One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"
"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. "I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"
Plumb assured him, "It sure did, If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."
Plumb
couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept
wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat,
a bib in the back and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might
have seen him and not even said, "Good morning, How are you?" or anything
because, you see, I was a fighter pilot, and he was just a sailor.
Plumb
thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in
the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks
of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't
know.
Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.
Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachute.
*******************************************************
ANSWER: Haman (Esther 7:10) was hanged on the gallows he had prepared for another -- "So they hanged Haman on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai..."
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Good Morning: It's Sunday October 28, 2001!
Happy Birthday EThell Kilgore!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Levi Coffin (American abolitionist and founder of the Underground Railroad), 1798; Chef George Auguste Escoffier, 1846; Edith Head, 1907; Jonas Salk, 1914; Bowie Kuhn, 1926; Suzy Parker, 1933; Charlie Daniels, 1936; Telma Hopkins, 1948; Bruce Jenner, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1492 Christopher Columbus landed on the island of Cuba.
On this date in 1636 Harvard College was founded.
On this date in 1886 the Statue of Liberty was dedicated on Bedloe's Island. The inscription "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses..." was written by Emma Lazarus.
On this date in 1904 the St. Louis Police Department became the first Police Department to adopt a fingerprinting system.
On this date in 1919 the U.S. Congress overrode President Wilson's veto and enacted the Volstead Prohibition Act.
On this date in 1945 Shoe Rationing in the United States ended.
On this date in 1962 the Cuban Missile Crisis ended as Soviet leader Nikita Kurshchev agreed to remove ballistic missiles from Cuba.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The Ceremonial Boat of King Henri II of France was built as a replica of his Parisian Palace in the belief it would make the King feel at home -- and thus alleviate his sea-sickness. The Monarch took one trip on the floating palace -- and never set foot on it again... A butterfly can detect one part of sugar in 300,000 parts of water...Abu-Al-Hassan, a Baghdad physician, continued to be regarded as the greatest healer of his age although for the last 20 years of his life he was totally blind (983-1003). Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, who fell off a seat and broke his neck?
Here is a quote to start us off... "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the more important" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).
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From our archives -- The Three Stooges:
Did you know that there were actually 6 stooges in the films? Of course, only 3 at a time. In the 1920's Moe Howard and his brother Shemp were joined by Larry Fine in Ted Healy's vaudeville act as the original 3 stooges. Ted Healy and his stooges made their film debut in 20th Century Fox's "Soup to Nuts" in the 1930's. In 1934 Moe and Larry were joined by Jerome Curly Howard to make the comedy shorts that are still seen on AMC and elsewhere today. Curly suffered a stroke on May 6, 1946 during the filming of his 97th Stooge short and had to leave the act. He passed away January 18, 1952 at the age of 48. Shemp, his brother, reprised his role as the third stooge. He appeared in 77 Stooge shorts, and a feature film "Gold Raiders" (1951). On November 23, 1955 Shemp and some friends went to the fights, and upon returning Shemp sat down in a chair and lit a cigar. He then died. He was 60 years old. Upon his death, the stooges hired Joe Besser to be the third man. He stayed until 1958. Although very talented and experienced, it didn't work out for him with the stooges. He died March 1, 1988. He was replaced in 1958 by Curly-Joe DeRita, who performed with the other 2 until 1970 when the act broke up due to a stroke suffered by Larry Fine which left him paralyzed on the left side. Curly-Joe, who billed himself as "The Last Stooge", died July 3, 1993. Moe Howard passed away May 4, 1975 at the age of 78. Larry Fine died January 24, 1975. (Information gleaned from http://www.threestooges.com and compiled by Tim Smith).
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Thanks to LBS for an old favorite (updated): Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush
Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush agree to meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Saddam's chair. They begin talking.
After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.
Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. his time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin.
Again Saddam laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush Square in the privates, he's finally had enough.
"I'm headin' back home!" he calmly tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair arm and prepares himself for the Texan's retaliation.
They begin talking and George presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens.
George snickers but they continue talking. A few minutes later he presses the second button.
Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
They continue the talks but when the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, but again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
George W. says, through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad??"
*******************************************************
Thanks to BC:
I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to C. Johnson (via, The SUSQUEHANNA SENTINEL -- to subscribe, email [email protected])
GIVE ME THE TRUTH
If you are my friend, if you are concerned about my soul, give me the Truth. Do not flatter me. Do not praise virtues while remaining silent about my vices. Do not fear the Truth will offend me. Do not treasure our friendship, our friendly relations, above my salvation. Do not think by ignoring my sins, you can help me. Do not think that being blind to my sins will make you charitable. However I may react to it, whatever may be my attitude toward you after you have done it, GIVE ME THE TRUTH!
For the Truth, and ONLY the Truth, can make me free from the shackles of sin, strengthen me in the pathway of righteousness and lead me into the joys of Heaven. If I am wavering, weak, lukewarm, indifferent, neglectful; if I have been overtaken in a trespass; if I have been drawn into the pleasures of the world; if I have left my first love; if I have been led astray by error, or if I have done none of these things, but simply need to grow in knowledge and then be edified, GIVE ME THE TRUTH! Bill Crews
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ANSWER: Eli (I Samuel 4:15, 18) fell off a seat and broke his neck -- "Now Eli was ninety and eight years old; and his eyes were dim, that he could not see... And it came to pass,...that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy..."
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Good Morning: It's Monday October 29, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Edmund Halley, 1656; James Boswell, 1740; Bela Lugosi (actor noted for his roles in horror films), 1884; Akim Tamiroff, 1899; Bill Maudlin, 1921; Melba Moore, 1945; Richard Dreyfuss, 1947; Kate Jackson, 1948; J. T. Smith, 1955; Jesse Lee Barfield, 1959; Michael D'Andrea Carter, 1960.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was executed.
On this date in 1682 William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, landed in Chester, PA.
On this date in 1896 former Illinois Attorney General Robert G. Ingersoll made the now famous statement: "Few rich men own their property, the property owns them."
On this date in 1929 the Great Depression began as the stock market collapsed, putting many companies out of business and causing economic chaos which lasted until WWII.
On this date in 1940 the United States began its first peacetime drafy by lottery.
On this date in 1947 dry ice was used for the first time in cloud seeding, a technique for producing rain, in Concord, N.H.
On this date in 1987 President Reagan nominated Doughlas H. Ginsburg for the Supreme Court.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: In Scottville, Michigan Miss Christmas was married to Mr. Noel by the "Rev. Snow"... King James IV (1478-1513) of Scotland, as a penance for the murder of his own father, wore an iron chain as a belt for 25 years -- increasing its weight each year. The king was wearing the heavy belt when he was slain in the Battle of Flodden at the age of 40... Beggars' Badges were granted in 18th Century Scotland to identify legitimate panhandlers. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, who hanged himself because his advice was not taken?
Here's a pretty one -- "To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour" (William Blake).
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From our archives -- From PackyHumor: Diet to Handle Stress
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help people cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
BREAKFAST:
1 Grapefruit
1 Slice
whole wheat toast
1 cup
skim milk
LUNCH:
Small
portion lean, steamed chicken with
1 cup
of spinach
1 cup
herbal tea
1 Hershey
Kiss
AFTERNOON TEA:
The rest
of the Kisses in the bag
1 tub
of Hagen Daas Ice Cream with Choc-chip topping
DINNER:
Your
favorite beverage, as much as desired
2 loaves
Garlic bread
1 Family
size Supreme Pizza
3 Snickers
LATE NIGHT SNACK
Whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the Freezer)
And remember: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS 'DESSERTS'
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Thanks to LBS: Jewish Mother
The year is 2024 and the United States of America has recently elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish President, Susan Vineberg.
So the President-elect calls up her mother a few weeks after election day; "So Ma, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, and your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my gout is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy, I don't know what on Earth I would wear."
"Oh Mom," replies Susan, "don't worry about it. I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown by Christian Dior."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, Kosher all the way. Mom, I want you to come."
Mom agrees and so on January 21, 2025, Susan Vineberg is being sworn in as President of the United States of America.
In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her; "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes I do."
"Her brother's a doctor."
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Thanks to LBS: Only a joke...
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 5 terrorists have been operating at your company. Police advised earlier today that 4 of the 5 have been detained. Security stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin, Bin Whinin, and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fifth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like Bin Workin will be very easy to spot at your company.
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Thanks to PW: Satan and Jesus
One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, I'll kill 'em!" Satan glared proudly.
"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood."
Jesus said, "DONE!"
Then He paid the price.
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Ridiculous: GET ME A ROPE:
Cassiday Perry, 17, was pulled out of class in Chalmette, La., for violating the school's dress code. Any student wearing a dress or pants with belt loops must wear a belt, the code says. Normal procedure is to rent the student a belt for the day for 25 cents, but all 20 of the school's belts were already rented out by the time Perry was caught. She was required to sit out of class for the rest of the day. (AP)
Parents, remember kids need to be hugged at home, but belted at school.
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Redeemed!
While handing a "25 Cents Off" coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed the clerk's hand and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone.
The cashier looked distressed, so the woman said, "That's okay, it's in coupon-heaven now. That's where coupons go when they die."
With a look of sadness on her face, the cashier responded, "But only the redeemed ones!"
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ANSWER: Ahithophel (II Sam. 17:23) hanged himself because his advice was not taken -- "And when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his ass, and arose, and gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died,..."
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Gradowiths
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