Happy Birthday Alyne Blevins!!!
BIRTHDAYS: John Adams, 1735; Alfred Sisley, 1839; William "Bull" Halsey, 1882; Ezra Pound, 1885; Charles Atlas, 1893; Louis Malle, 1932; Grace Slick, 1943; Henry Winkler, 1945; Harry Hamlin, 1951.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1485 King Henry VII of England started a group of royal attendants, called the Yeomen of the Guard. They later became known as the Beefeaters.
On this date in 1888 the ballpoint pen was patented.
On this date in 1938 Orson Welles and the Mercury Players scared the public in the U.S. with their Halloween Eve broadcast of "The War of the Worlds" in which they presented a series of news bulletins reporting that the Martians were invading New Jersey.
On this date in 1989 the Wonders of Life Pavilion at Walt Disney World's Epcot Center opened.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Frederick Stuart (1751-1802) was elected to the British Parliament by a single vote -- his own! Stuart represented Buteshire -- which had a population of 14,000 but only 23 qualified voters -- 22 of whom were away when Stuart voted himself into Parliament (1796)... The Fleming House in Auchintoul, Scotland, was occupied successively by 17 men named Peter Fleming for a period of 612 years... The "leaning tower" of Galenbeck, Germany has been tilting dangerously for over 500 years -- yet the crooked tower already has outlasted its castle by over 300 years! Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, who said, "The worm shall feed sweetly on him"?
A nice one from a famous guy -- "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" (Benjamin Franklin).
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From
our archives -- Thanks to A.K. for this one: My mother taught me...
My mother
taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If
you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother
taught me RELIGION
"You
better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother
taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If
you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"
My mother
taught me LOGIC
"Because
I said so, that's why."
My mother
taught me FORESIGHT
"Make
sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother
taught me IRONY
"Keep
laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother
taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut
your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother
taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will
you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother
taught me about STAMINA
"You'll
sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My mother
taught me about WEATHER
"It
looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother
taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If
I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you would you listen then?"
My mother
taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If
I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother
taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought
you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother
taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop
acting like your father!"
My mother
taught me about ENVY
"There
are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful
parents like you do!"
THANKS,
MOM!
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From QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Experience teaches us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purpose is beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well but without understanding" (Justice Louis Dembitz Brandeis).
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Thanks to D.O. (We have seen these questions before, but they are very good and I gladly offer them again. ts)
See if you know any of these.
World's Easiest Quiz??? (Passing requires 8 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
(Answers tomorrow).
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Thanks to D.O. again -- AN ODE TO THE DISLOCATED
I looked
around our Bible class Last Sunday, and 'tis true: Familiar faces greeted
me, But I couldn't locate you.
And
Sunday night--it was the same-- It made me feel so blue; Though heartened-by
the ones who came, I couldn't locate you.
Then Wednesday evening brought us back, The usual mid-week crew, I searched, and hoped, and searched some more, But I couldn't locate you.
It seems so often when we meet, And find our favorite pew, That something's missing, something's wrong-- We just can't locate you.
You're missed, you know; we want you back; You need to be here, too. We'd hate to search through heaven, Unable to locate you. Dalton Key
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Thanks to AB: Healthy Foods
A Dietitian is addressing an audience in the Shalom Retirement Home. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago.
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be dirty and disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have eaten it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after you eat it?"
In the front row, 75-year-old Morris stands up and says, "Wedding cake".
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Thanks to LBS: "MAP OF THE WORLD
A father
wanted to read the paper, but was being bothered by his little daughter,
Vanessa. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his magazine, on which was printed
the map of the world. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Vanessa,
and said, "Go into the other room and see if you can put this together."
After a few minutes, Vanessa returned and handed him the map correctly
fitted together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished
so quickly. "Oh," she said, "on the other side of the
paper
is a picture of Jesus. When I got Jesus in His place, then the world came
out all right."
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Thanks to LBS: Do not try this...
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed, she could see from the bedroom window. As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in his area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they¹d be available. I said "OK", hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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ANSWER: Job said that, in 24:20.
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Good Morning: It's Wednesday October 31, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: John Keats, 1795; Juliet Low, 1860; Chiang Kai-Shek, 1887; Dale Evans, 1912; astronaut Michael Collins, 1931; Dan Rather, 1931; Katherine Paterson (author of Bridge to Terabithia), 1932; John Candy, 1950; Jane Pauley, 1950; Frederick Stanley McGriff, 1963.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1517 Martin Luther posted his 95 Theses on the church door in Wittenberg, Germany.
On this date in 1864 Nevada became the 36th state.
On this date in 1886 Arthur Conan Doyle's first Sherlock Holmes Story, "A Study in Scarlet," was bought for 25 pounds.
On this date in 1926 magician Harry Houdini died of acute appendicitis.
On this date in 1941 the Mount Rushmore Monument was complete.
On this date in 1952 perhaps the scariest Halloween prank of all time, the first hydrogen bomb was tested.
On this date in 1956 U.S. Navy Rear Admiral G.J. Duefek became the first person to land an airplane at the South Pole.
On this date in 1982 (not a typo) the following "headline" was in The New York Times: PERVASIVE USE OF COCAINE IS REPORTED IN HOLLYWOOD.
On this date in 1984 two Sikh members of her personal bodyguard shot India’s Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to death at her home.
On this date in 1987 Rocky Lyons, age 5, saved his mother's life. The pickup truck driven by his mother hit a pothole, flipped over and rolled down an embankment. 5-year-old Rocky pushed his dazed mother out of the truck. She'd sustained bad cuts on her face and 2 broken shoulders. With Rocky pushing his mother from behind, the two began to crawl up the embankment. Rocky's mother didn't think she could make it, but the boy kept repeating a line from THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD: "I think I can, I think I can..." Once they reached the road, a truck driver stopped and took them to the hospital.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The Bridge of Daltulich, Scotland, was built by a Scottish mason who guaranteed to replace it -- if necessary -- without additional charge. It did collapse within one week. The contractor then revealed that he had included the cost and legitimate profit for a second bridge in his original estimate -- and the replacement has lasted over 200 years... Emperor Maximilian I (1459-1519) of Germany enlisted in the English Army of King Henry VIII. He served for 14 days and took part in the Battle of Spurs at Calais on August 16, 1513... The Chateau de la Caze in Tarn, France was built entirely with the rocks excavated in constructing its basement and moats. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: Where is the politically-correct nonsense of "self-determination" for children (letting them do whatever they want to do...) shown to be foolish in the Bible?
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars" (Henry Van Dyke, 1852 - 1933).
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From our archives -- Thanks to J&W-R for this one:
There were three little pigs that went to a restaurant for dinner.
The waiter came to the table and asked if they would like something to drink. The first piggy said, "I would like a Dr. Pepper." The second piggy said, "I would like a glass of tea," The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."
When the waiter brought the drinks, he asked if they were ready to order. The first piggy said, would like a Hamburger." The second piggy said, "I would like a Steak." The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."
When the piggies were finished eating, the waiter asked if they would like some dessert. The first piggy said, "I would like a hot fudge sundae." The second piggy said, "I would like a banana split." The third piggy said, "I would like a glass of water."
When the piggies were finished with dessert, the waiter brought their check. Before he left the table, he asked the third little piggy why he only ordered water.
The third piggy said, "Well, someone has to go 'Wee wee all the way home."
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Answers from yesterday:
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get catgut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last? Thirty years
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From a friend -- a good one! -- Paid In Full
A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.
Many
years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had
a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very
old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since
that graduation day.
Before
he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father
had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed
to come home immediately and take care of things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11: "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?"
As he
read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had
a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he
had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...
PAID IN FULL.
How
many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as
we expected? - Author Unknown
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ANSWER: Self-determination for children is condemned in Proverbs 29:15 -- "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
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