From the Elk City, OK church bulletin
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Thanks to Chadlex:  B.U.S.Y.

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their savior."
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.  So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ."
"This is what I want you to do", said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout  their day!"  "How shall we do this?" his demons shouted. "Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. "Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to! work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children. As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work! Over stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice.  Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive.
To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards.  Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free pro! ducts, services and false hopes."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives."
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night. Give them headaches too! If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere. That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas. Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted. Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with an attitude of how much better they think they are, and not have a guilty conscience."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus. Cause friction among their co-workers at work, have them talking about one another, spreading gossip, and yet still proclaim to be a Christian. That way the sinners at work can see that they're hypocrites... Yes this will work! Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family, and their jobs for the good of the cause."
"It will work!" "It will work!"
It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge! Does "busy" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?
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ANSWER:  Although a bit "wacko", Nebuchadnezzar was no "Environmental wacko", nor was he an advocate of vegetarianism -- in fact, he doesn't seem to have enjoyed his plight very much.  Consider Daniel 4:33 -- "The same hour was the think fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar:  and he was driven from men, and did eat grass as oxen..."
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Good Morning:  It's Monday October 8, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  J. Frank Duryea (coinventor of the gasoline-powered automobile), 1870; Eddie Rickenbacker, 1890; Juan Peron, 1895; Suzanne Newton (children's author), 1936; Rona Barrett, 1936; David Carradine, 1940; Jesse Jackson, 1941; Chevy Chase, 1943; Sarah Purcell, 1948; Sigourney Weaver, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1871 Mrs. O'Leary's cow is said to have turned the tables on would-be barbecuers by starting the Great Chicago Fire which virtually destroyed the city.
On this date in 1871 the most disastrous forest fire in recorded history destroyed Peshtigo, Wis., killing 1,182 people.
On this date in 1895 Englebert Humperdink's opera HANSEL AND GRETEL premiered in the United States.
On this date in 1896 Dow Jones began reporting the average of industrial stocks.
On this date in 1918, sharp shooting Tennessee mountaineer Alvin York explained how he was able to bring 132 prisoners back through enemy lines -- without even getting scratched -- during fighting in France's Argonne Forest.  He said, "I surrounded 'em".  York, whose attempts to avoid military service as a conscientious objector were rejected by authorities, also single-handedly killed 25 German soldiers and put 35 machine guns out of action.
On this date in 1956 Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitched the only perfect game in a world series as New York beat the Brooklyn Dodgers, 2-0.
On this date in 1984 Farrah Fawcett starred in an NBC TV movie called The Burning Bed.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Daniel McCook (1798-1863), of the famous Fighting McCooks of Ohio, volunteered for service in the U.S. Army -- and was accepted -- at the age of 63.  8 sons of Major Daniel McCook, his brother, and 5 of his brother's sons, all fought in the Civil War.  6 of them were generals!... King Louis XVIII of France, while in exile for 23 years, supported himself in royal style by sharing the $40,000-a-year salary of the Count de Blacas -- sent by Napoleon to spy on the monarch!  Louis later made the spy a Duke as a reward for his "honesty"... Czar Paul I (1754-1801) of Russia was so sensitive about his homeliness that he made mentioning of the words "pug-nosed" a crime punishable by death!  Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA:  In the Bible, when were "clean teeth" a sign of famine?
     Here is a quote older even than my good friend Bobby Roney -- "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self" (Aristotle).
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From Andychapp:  Andy Says... Just Think About This!
**  The present was an egg laid by the past that had the future inside its shell. - Zora Neale Hurston
** All things are connected. We did not weave the web of life; we are but a strand it in. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the people of the earth.  -- Chief Seattle
** There are things known, and there are things unknown. And in between are the doors. -- Jim Morrison
** We are drowning in information and starving for knowledge. -- Rutherford D. Roger
** The worst use that can be made of success is to boast of it. - Arthur Helps (1813 - 1875), Writer
** The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.  - Robert C. Dodds, Writer
** You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. - Colette (1873 - 1954), Writer
** A truly great person is the one who gives you a chance. - Paul Duffy, Writer
** Backbone beats wishbone every time.
** Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got. - Andrew Young, U.S. Ambassador to the U.N.
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Thanks to Chadlex:  Do You Have The Time?
THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
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Thanks to JLH:  The Physics of Hell
The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
 Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
 One student, however, wrote the following:
 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
 Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.  Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I give you my number" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in acquiring her number, then 2 cannot be true, and, thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
 The student received the only "A".
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From Andychapp:  Four Freedoms:
* The first is freedom of speech and statement - everywhere in the world.
* The second is freedom of everyone to worship God in his own way, everywhere in the world.
* The third is freedom from want . . . everywhere in the world.
* The fourth is freedom from fear . . . anywhere in the world.  (Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. President)
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ANSWER:  Clean teeth were a sign of famine in Amos 4:6 -- "And I also have given you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and want of bread in all your places..."
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Good Morning:  It's Tuesday October 9, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Johanna Hurwitz (children's author), 1937; Cartoonist Russell Myers, 1938; John Lennon, 1940; Joe Pepitone, 1940; Jackson Browne, 1950; Mike Singletary, 1958.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in A.D. 1000 Leif Erikson landed the Viking explorer on the North American mainland near Newfoundland.  Well, at least the landing is celebrated on this date...
On this date in 1492 Columbus promised his captains that he'd turn back if land wasn't spotted within 3 days.
On this date in 1701 the Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered.  We know it by another name, however:  Yale University.
On this date in 1843 Charles Dickens began writing (one of my favorite stories) A CHRISTMAS CAROL.
On this date in 1858 regular overland mail service to California began as the first coach on the semi-weekly, government-subsidized Butterfield Overland Mail left St. Louis, Missouri.  4 horses, changed every 10 to 15 miles, pulled the six-passenger coach round-the-clock over a circuitous, 2,729-mile southern route to San Francisco.  The trip took 24 days and 20 hours.
On this date in 1888 the Washington Monument opened.
On this date in 1915 the International Association for Criminal Identification, one of the first fingerprinting organizations, was established.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Near Brandoia, Italy a single rock 50 feet long and 5 feet wide was thrown across the river by an earthquake and has served as a natural crossing for thousands of years... The altar in the chapel of Kings College, in Wilkes-Barre, PA, was carved from a single piece of anthracite coal.  The altar weighs 4,200 lbs... In Hawaiian "NO" means "indeed".  Believe it, or not.

TRIVIA:  Why were the Jews forbidden to eat pork and camel?

     Here is a nice thought-provoking thought to start our Tuesday:  "Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty"(Frank Herbert, 1920 - 1986).

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Thanks to LBS:  Editorial from a Romanian newspaper
An ode to America
Why are Americans so united? They don't resemble one another even if you paint them! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations. Some of them are nearly extinct, others are incompatible with one another, and in matters of religious beliefs, not even God can count how many they are.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart. Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the army, the secret services that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts. Nobody rushed on the streets nearby to gape about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand. After the first moments of panic, they raised the flag on the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national flag.  They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a minister or the president was passing.
On every occasion they started singing their traditional song: "God Bless America!".
Silent as a rock, I watched the charity concert broadcast on Saturday once, twice, three times, on different TV channels. There were Clint Eastwood, Willie Nelson, Robert de Niro, Julia Roberts, Cassius Clay, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen, Silvester Stalone, James Wood, and many others whom no film or producers could ever bring together. The American's solidarity spirit turned them into a choir. Actually, choir is not the word. What you could hear was the heavy artillery of the American soul. What neither George W. Bush, nor Bill Clinton, nor Colin Powell could say without facing the risk of stumbling over words and sounds, was being heard in a great and unmistakable way in this charity concert.
I don't know how it happened that all this obsessive singing of America didn't sound croaky, nationalist, or ostentatious! It made you green with envy because you weren't able to sing for your country without running the risk of being considered chauvinist, ridiculous, or suspected of who-knows-what mean interests.
I watched the live broadcast and the rerun of its rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who fought with the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that would have killed other hundreds or thousands of people. How on earth were they able to bow before a fellow human?
Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit which nothing can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their galloping history? Their economic power? Money? I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases which risk of
sounding like commonplaces. I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion.
Only freedom can work such miracles!
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Thanks to JLH:  RULES OF COMBAT
I do not know the author of this list of "Rules of Combat", but you may find it helpful:
1.   If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2.   Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
3.   The easy way is always mined.
4.   Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
5.   The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
       a.  When you're ready for them.
       b.  When you're not ready for them.
6.   Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
7.  If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
8.  Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
9.  The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
10.  When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend.
11.  If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
12.  When in doubt, empty the magazine.
13.  Anything you do can get you shot -- including doing nothing.
14.  Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
15.  Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
16.  A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
17.  Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
18.  The quartermaster has only two sizes:  too large and too small.
19.  Five second fuses only last three seconds.
20.  It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
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ANSWER:  Pork -- Lev. 11:7 -- "...the swine, though he divide the hoof,...yet he cheweth not the cud."  Camel -- Lev. 11:4 -- "...the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean to you."
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Good Morning:  It's Wednesday October 10, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Painter Benjamin West, 1738; Guiseppe Verdi, 1813; John M. Studebaker, 1833; Helen Hayes, 1900; Johnny Marks (composer of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"), 1909; Dorothy Lamour, 1914; Harold Painter, 1930; Makes Marshall (children's author), 1942; Ben Vereen, 1946; Martina Navratilova, 1956; Tanya Tucker, 1958.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1492 Christopher Columbus set foot in the New World.  During the voyage of discovery, the great explorer had been keeping 2 logbooks.  In one, he recorded his daily calculations of the distance his ships had covered.  In the other -- the one he showed the crew -- he recorded shorter distances so his men wouldn't know how far they'd sailed without sighting land.  The second book proved the more accurate.
On this date in 1826 Davy Crockett was elected to the House of Representatives.
On this date in 1845 the U.S. Naval Academy was founded in Annapolis, Md.
On this date in 1865 John Hyatts patented the billiard ball.
On this date in 1886 Griswold Lorillard showed up at the Autumn Ball at the Tuxedo Park Country Club, New York, positively resplendent, decked out in the first formal dinner jacket.  He was the talk of the town and the name tuxedo stuck.
On this date in 1899 the luggage carrier was patented by John Butts -- it was a "basket" for the rear of a bicycle.
On this date in 1935 George Gershwin's Porgy and Bess opened on Broadway.
On this date in 1976 Dimitrion Yordanids of Greece became the oldest man to complete a marathon.  He was 98.
On this date in 1985 Humphrey the Humpback Whale entered San Francisco Bay.  He stayed for 26 days before finding his way back to the ocean.
On this date in 1987 Jesse Jackson threw his hat into the ring as candidate for the Democrat Party presidential nomination.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  King Edward I (1239-1307) reigned for 35 years -- yet he only donned his crown once... Dulwich College in London, England was founded in 1626 by Edward Alleyn.  It was forbidden to have a President with any other name than Alleyn for 231 years... Japanese ferries as recently as 1872 were pulled through the water by 7 swimmers.  Believe it, or not.

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, what prophet was fed by birds?

     Here is a thought from a real thinker -- well, at least he used to be -- "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality" (Albert Einstein, 1879-1955).

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Thanks to JLH:  Three Wishes
Three men, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and President Bush are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.; "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels and Jews can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
President Bush, asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country, nothing can get in or out  --- virtually impenetrable."
President Bush says, "Very impressive, fill it with water.
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Thanks to C.J. in the SUSQUEHANNA SENTINEL (to subscribe free of charge to the electronic version, email brother Johnson at [email protected] and request it!) --
THE MONKEY TRAP
Wild monkeys are often trapped by placing a banana inside a box with a small hole. The mark, thinking he's getting something for nothing, grins slyly around to make sure no other monkeys are watching and then reaches through the hole and grabs the banana. He's already picking out the tree he will dine in when a problem pops up. The banana won't come out through the hole, and letting go is not an option.
You must remember that a banana to a monkey is an important matter. Second to romance, it's the biggest thing in his career.
Like millions of human car "owners", the monkey begins to believe the item is his, just because he has a grip on it.
If you walked up to that trapped monkey and offered him an equivalent banana to let go, he would turn you down. Furthermore, he would disparage your banana He has pride of ownership.
When they carry him away his hand will still be clenched stubbornly inside the hole. They'll have to take box and all, or they'll get no monkey.
On any business day you can see ships loaded to the brims with monkeys with their hands in boxes, crowding shipping lanes all over the seven seas. They've sold themselves into slavery for their materialism. Nothing down, pay forever.
Monkeys are the second greediest animals on earth.
                                                                          --Jack Blanchard, Classic Country
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Thanks to LBS:  The sneeze
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears.
This class would not pray during the commencements -- not by choice but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling.
They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine, until the final speech received a standing ovation.
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then he delivered his speech ... an astounding sneeze.
The rest of the students rose immediately to their feet, and in unison they said, "GOD BLESS YOU."
The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future ... with or without the court's approval.
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Thanks to BC for this great quote:
This is ABSOLUTELY the Quote of the Day.  When asked what is taking so long, President George W. Bush said,
    "When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."
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ANSWER:  Elijah (I Kings 17:6) was fed by birds -- "And the ravens brought him [Elijah] bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening..."

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Good Morning:  It's Thursday October 11, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Parson Weems (full name:  Mason Locke Weems, clergyman and bookseller who popularized legends about George Washington), 1759; Henry John Heinz (food products manufacturer), 1844; Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884; journalist Joseph Alsop, 1910; Dottie West, 1932; Roy Scheider, 1935; Darryl Hall, 1948.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1521 Great Britain's King Henry VIII denounced Martin Luther's teachings.
On this date in 1868 Thomas Edison applied for a patent for his first invention, an electric vote recorder.
On this date in 1887 the first adding-machine patent was issued.
On this date in 1901 the Wright Brothers built a six-foot-long wind tunnel using a two bladed fan to create winds of up to 35 miles per hour.  They tested more than 100 different models of airplane wings as they moved closer and closer to that day in 1903 when they made the first successful manned flight in an airplane.
On this date in 1910 Theodore Roosevelt became the first President to fly in an airplane.
On this date in 1923 the Democratic National Committee sponsored the first political telecast.
On this date in 1936 "Professor Quiz," the first national quiz program on radio, premiered.
On this date in 1950 the FCC granted CBS permission to start broadcasting selected TV shows in color.
On this date in 1963 Eleanor Roosevelt became the first First Lady to appear on a commemorative postage stamp.
On this date in 1983 Nancy Reagan introduced the words that served as slogan for the anti-drug program she headed:  "Just say no".
On this date in 1984 Dr. Kathryn Sullivan became the first woman astronaut to walk in space.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The "Statue of Roland" in front of City Hall in Poznan, Poland was constructed in 1535 with fines imposed on servant girls who dressed above their station... Sultan Selim the Grim, of Turkey, appointed a new grand vizier each year of his 8-year-term -- and executed all 8 of them!... Joao de Barros (1496-1570) so pleased King Joao III of Portugal with his manuscript of a history of Portuguese Asia that the monarch rewarded him with the whole state of Maranhao in Brazil -- 133,460 square miles of territory!  His gift comprised nearly 3 times the area of New York State.  Believe it, or not.

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, when was "doves' dung" sold for food?

     A nice thought to start our day -- "It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." E. L. Doctorow

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Thanks to jojocalf:  The 5 Fingers Of Prayer

1. Your thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember.
2.  The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction.
3.  The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion.
4.  The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain.
5.  And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves in relation to GOD and others.  Your pinky should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.
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From:  The BIBLICAL MESSENGER To subscribe free of charge, email [email protected].

For Parents Only
THINKING that three hours of any movie are harmless for the child, but that two hours of church and Sunday school are too much for his nervous system is just bad thinking.
GIVING him a dollar for the collection and five dollars for the movie not only shows a parent’s sense of value, but is also not likely to produce a giver.
LETTING him watch and listen to several hours of television a day with no time for one short prayer and a few Bible verses is criminal unbalance.
BEING careful that Junior has his weekday lessons, and caring not that he knows not his Sunday school lesson makes for spiritual illiteracy.
SAYING that a child must make his own decisions as to whether or not he should go to church, or as to what church, is shirking parental responsibility.
WHEN FATHER spends Sunday morning in mowing the lawn, cleaning the garden, or playing golf, his sons are left to walk alone.
WHEN PARENTS idle away Sunday morning in reading the paper or listening to the radio or TV while brother and sister are sent by themselves to church, something happens to the children’s evaluation of church attendance. -Selected & Adapted.
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Thanks to JLH:  THE CENTIPEDE

The guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the soda shop to have a soda. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a soda?"
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the soda shop and having a soda with me?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's soda shop and have a soda with me?"
A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."
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Thanks to GB:  Example

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."
 "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
 "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.  "Here,  give me the broom - I'll show you how."

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ANSWER:  "Doves' dung" was sold for food in time of famine -- II Kings 6:25 -- "And there was a great famine in Samaria:  and, behold, they beseiged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver."

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