HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY RUSSELL!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF EPPERSON!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Spring Byington, 1893; Pope John Paul I (Alvino Luciani -- head of the Roman Catholic Church for only 34 days), 1912; Arthur Miller, 1915; Rita Hayworth, 1918; Beverly Garland, 1926; Jimmy Breslin, 1930; Steve Douglas McMichael, 1937; Evil Knievel, 1938; Bob Seagren, 1946; Margot Kidder, 1948; George Wendt, 1948.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1850 Henry "Box" Brown, a black slave in Richmond, Virginia, packed himself into a box that was three feet long, two and a half feet deep, and two feet wide -- and had himself shipped to freedom in Philadelphia.
On this date in 1855 the English engineer Sir Henry Bessemer patented his steel-making process.
On this date in 1933 Albert Einstein immigrated to the United States as a refugee from Nazi Germany.
On this date in 1960 racial integration of variety-store lunch counters began in more than 100 Southern cities.
On this date in 1973 a group of Arab nations started an oil boycott.
On this date in 1974 the Oakland A's won their third straight world series.
On this date in 1979 "Mother Teresa" was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her work with the destitute of Calcutta over three decades.
On this date in 1984 President Reagan launched the Young Astronauts Program.
On this date in 1989 an earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale as it rocked Candlestick Park and the San Francisco Bay area delayed the World Series.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The tomb of King James III of Scotland stands in an open field -- it originally was beneath the main altar of Cambuskenneth Abbey, but a tower and the monarch's tomb are all that remains of that abbey... Mrs. Rosa Baron of Arlington, VA was born on the 7th of January. Her husband was born on the 7th of February. Their daughter was born on the 7th of March... The alleged balcony on which the alleged original Juliet allegedly stood when the allegedly original Romeo allegedly wooed her still adorns the Palazzo Cappelletti -- really. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: What professional horse-traders are referred to 4 times in the Bible?
A bit of wisdom for a Wednesday: "It seems to me that the soul, when alone with itself and speaking to itself, uses only a small number of words, none of them extraordinary." (Paul Valéry)
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Parting shots from Joel -- part of HOUSEHOLD OF FAITH EZINE (to subscribe, email Joel Hendon at [email protected] and request it.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I must be getting old, I now get the same sensation from a rocking chair that I once got from a roller-coaster.
He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
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Thanks to LBS: Here is the lost paragraph in GENESIS
“So.” God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, "This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion when ever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history.
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Thanks to BC for this thought --
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
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Thanks to J&W R --
A pirate walked into a cafe and the waiter said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean? I'm fine."
"What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," said the waiter, "what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them relieved itself in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the waiter, "you couldn't have lost an eye from just that!"
"It was my first day with the hook."
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From StanKegel (NOTE: If you are offended by Halloween, please disregard this joke. Thanks. Tim)
Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween.
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET OUT!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out!
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around!
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. And even if you're sure you know what you're doing, just don't fool with it!
13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog -- you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
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ANSWER: The house of Togarmah -- Ezekiel 27:14 -- "They of the house of Togarmah traded in thy fairs with horses and horsemen and mules." They were Armenians. See also Genesis 10:3, First Chronicles 1:6, and Ezekiel 38:6.
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It's Thursday October 18, 2001!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARICE TURK!!!
BIRTHDAYS: A.J. Liebling, 1904; Pierre Trudeau, 1919; Jesse Helms, 1921; Melina Mercouri, 1925; Chuck Berry, 1926; George C. Scott, 1927; Nancy Winslow Parker (author and illustrator of children's books), 1930; Lee Harvey Oswald (assassin of President John F. Kennedy), 1939; Mike Ditka, 1939; Wendy Wasserstein, 1950; Pam Dawber, 1951; Martina Navratilova (tennis player), 1956; Tommy Hearns, 1958; Erin Moran, 1961.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1648 Boston's shoemakers, barrelmakers, and tubmakers were given official permission to set up their own guild. Thus began the first American labor organization.
On this date in 1767 the Mason-Dixon line was officially adopted. The border between Maryland and Pennsylvania became the border between the northern states and the southern states. Most folks are surprized to learn that the "south" goes so far "north".
On this date in 1867 "Seward's Folly" was consummated as the United States took possession of Alaska from the Russians.
On this date in 1892 the first long-distance telephone line, from New York City to Chicago, opened.
On this date in 1893 Lucy Blackwell Stone, pioneer in the movement for women's rights, died.
On this date in 1931 Thomas Edison died.
On this date in 1977 Reggie Jackson became the first baseball player to hit three consecutive home runs in a World Series game.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: A Bust of King Charles I in the Parish Church of Hammersmith, London, England stands above an urn that contains the heart of Sir Nicholas Crispe -- who had ordered the bust and urn prepared as a gesture of his everlasting loyalty... The Castle of Loupiac, France, ordered demolished during the French Revolution was assaulted by 100 laborers using gunpowder daily for 8 months. Yet it still stands over 170 years later... Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire, England was occupied by the same family continuously for 790 years (1154-1944). Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: How many kinds of cheese are mentioned in the Bible?
A nice (if over-simplified) thought for Thursday: "Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." Baruch Spinoza
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From our archives -- Thanks to M.A. for this one:
REDNECKS ARE WONDERFUL
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Ecalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? " There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
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How do
you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When
you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person
at the front desk says "go ahead."
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How can
you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There
is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi? A documentary.
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How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum? Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
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Why did God invent armadillos? So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.
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Where was the toothbrush invented? Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
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Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
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Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. Perty' near took out the whole trailer park.
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A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
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What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas? I-40.
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Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
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What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
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A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
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Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
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What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.
NOTE: Before you write in about this one, let me say that I have lived and/or preached in most of the states mentioned in the above jokes. They are intended to be funny, not serious social commentary. Tim
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Some humorous quotes etc. from CLEAN LAFFS --
"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it doesn't make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me." --Zora Neale Hurston, U.S. novelist
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"If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled." --P.G. Wodehouse
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What did the mama buffalo say to the little buffalo when he went off to college? -- "Bison."
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ANSWER: There are 3 kinds of cheese mentioned in the Bible -- I Sam. 17:18; II Sam 17:29; and Job 10:10. These are three different Hebrew words, and are translated, "cheeses," "cheese of the herd," and "curdled cheese."
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