Happy Birthday Shirley Ingram!
BIRTHDAYS: John Bunyan, 1628; William Blake (English poet whose works include "The Tiger"), 1757; Henry Bacon (American architect who designed the Lincoln Memorial), 1866; Nancy Mitford, 1904; Tomi Ungerer (children's illustrator), 1931; Hope Lange, 1933; Gary Hart, 1936; Randy Newman, 1943; Alexander Godunov, 1949; Paul Schaffer, 1949; Ed Harris, 1950; Roy Tarpley, 1964.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1520 Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean from the Atlantic.
On this date in 1776 General Washington crossed the Delaware.
On this date in 1843 France and England recognized the independence of Hawaii.
On this date in 1895 the first U.S. auto race began in Chicago. J.Frank Duryea won with an average speed of 7 1/2 mph.
On this date in 1929 Commander Richard E. Byrd started his flight over the South Pole.
On this date in 1929 Ernie Nevers established an NFL single-game scoring record by running for six touchdowns and kicking four extra points.
On this date in 1963 Cape Canaveral was renamed Cape Kennedy.
On this date in 1967 Communist China was turned down for admission to the United Nations.
On this date in 1979 Billy Smith of the New York Islanders became the first NHL goalie to score a goal.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The first U.S. auto race covered a 54-mile course from Chicago to Evanston, IL and back... More than 80 cars entered, but only 6 completed the race... The race lasted 7 hours 53 minutes.
TRIVIA: Tomorrow the is the anniversary of the birth of a well-known American author who wrote (among other things) about "Little" things. Can you name her?
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you" (Dale Carnegie, 1888 - 1955).
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EATING CHOCOLATE AND FRIED FOOD
ETC. CAUSES PIMPLES. This is a commonly held belief, but it is NOT
TRUE. An estimated 80% of adolescents suffer from pimples at one
time or another, so it is no wonder that so many theories to explain their
origin appear.
Dermatologists tell us that this
old saying is false. In a study performed at Yale University School
of Medicine, teens consumed large amounts of chocolate. Even those
who were prone to acne did not show a significant difference. In
face, doctors say that there are no foods that cause pimples -- unless
you're allergic to a specific food, in which case the allergy shows up
as a rash. Since adults can generally eat chocolate and fried foods
without breaking out, this is obvious to common sense.
According to the research I saw,
experts aren't really sure just what causes pimples. Some deny that
washing with the special rinses etc. actually helps -- suggesting that
it is more a genetic matter than anything else. Whatever the cause,
how about a chicken leg and a Snickers bar???
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From a friend: A young preacher and his young wife were talking about being more considerate of each other. The good wife promised that she would stop being so critical of his sleep-inducing sermons. He, in return, promised to honor her privacy and stop looking through her dresser drawers. The preacher was true to his word, and never looked through his wife's dresser drawers; the good wife was never openly critical of her husband's sermons; and their marriage progressed smoothly. After 50 years, their children gave a great party to celebrate the golden anniversary of the preacher and his wife. Many people came to congratulate the happy couple, and brought lovely gifts. That evening, as they were putting the gifts away, the preacher saw that his wife had left one dresser drawer slightly open. He tried as hard as he could to withstand the temptation, but he finally opened the drawer and looked inside. There he found 3 eggs, and $10,000.00, in bills of varied denominations. He was greatly puzzled by this, and went to question his wife. "Oh," she said. "Well, you remember when we spoke of being more considerate with each other all those years ago?" The preacher, feeling profoundly guilty, answered "yes." "Well," she continued, "I promised to stop criticizing your boring sermons, but every time you gave a sermon that was a real snoozer, I put an egg into that drawer." The preacher smiled. "Well, that's not so bad. 50 years of sermons and only 3 eggs! But what about all that money?" His wife quietly responded, "Every time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."
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From our archive -- The Sin Of Lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
*****
Lost Boots
There was a little boy in Kindergarten. He cried, so the teacher asked him what was wrong.
He sobbed, "I can't find my boots."
The teacher looked around the classroom and saw a pair of boots, "Are these yours?"
"No, they're not mine," the boy shook his head.
The teacher and the boy searched all over the classroom for his boots.
Finally, the teacher gave up, "Are you SURE those boots are not yours?"
"I'm sure," the boy sobbed, "mine had snow on them."
*****
Insanity
The D.A. stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict. Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?"
The foreman answered, "Insanity."
The D.A. said, "All twelve of you?"
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A special request from a friend of mine (via email)...
Cloud Couplets E-mail Poem
Two powerful lines of verse with
metered rhyme
Will charge your winded soul. It's
worth your time!
http://smartgroups.com/groups/poem
Dear Cloud Couplet Subscriber,
Randal here. Please send this little
couplet to some of your friends. Encourage them to sign up.
I don't often (almost never) send
extra e-mails touting Cloud Couplets. But if you feel a smidgen of gratitude
(had to get that in, it's Thanksgiving in the U.S.) for the couplets you've
been receiving by e-mail, please give us a hand by sharing them.
I promise not to bother you again for a long time.
In a thankful spirit,
Randal
http://rhyme.cjb.net
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Thanks to AB: Good News/Bad
News
Good News: You baptized seven people
today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them
in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted
to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elders accepted your
job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired
by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of
filling the position.
Good News: The trustees finally
voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop
the front lawn of your house.
Good News: Church attendance rose
dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your congregation wants
to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until
the next war.
Good News: The youth in your church
come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of
the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate"
your house.
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ANSWER: Louisa May Alcott -- Little Women.
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Good Morning: It's Thursday November 29, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Christian Doppler (Austrian physicist and mathematician who first explained the Doppler effect), 1803; Louisa May Alcott, 1832; Nellie Tayloe Ross (first female U.S. governor -- Wyoming), 1876; Busby Berkeley, 1895; C. S. Lewis (English writer), 1898; Madeleine L'Engle (children's author), 1918; Vin Scully, 1927; Diane Ladd, 1932; Chuck Mangione, 1940; Garry Shandling, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1760 the French surrendered Detroit to the British at the close of the French and Indian War.
On this date in 1776 (I am not kidding here) invisible ink was first used in diplomatic correspondence.
On this date in 1872 Horace Greeley died insane only three weeks after losing the U.S. presidential election to Ulysses Grant.
On this date in 1890 the first Army-Navy football game was played. For the record, Navy beat Army 25-0.
On this date in 1929 Commander Richard E. Byrd flew over the South Pole -- he started his flight a day earlier.
On this date in 1961 a U.S. Mercury-Atlas Space Capsule, along with its passenger, a chimpanzee was recovered after splashing down.
On this date in 1963 President Lyndon Johnson established the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Citrus juice, vinegar or a mixture of 1 teaspoon of sugar in a glass of water all make fine invisible inks... Try it out, using a paintbrush and one of the invisible ink recipes above write a message on a piece of paper and hold the paper up to a 150 watt bulb and you'll be able to read it... The heat of the bulb releases the carbon in the fluid used as invisible ink and allows you to see it.
TRIVIA: Celebrating a birthday tomorrow (well, he would be if he was still alive), this man had a hard time in school. He once won a prize for reciting 1,200 lines of poetry from memory without a single mistake! Later, while doing the job for which he is most famous, he said, "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." Who is he?
Profound indeed -- "It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, independence now and independence forever" (Daniel Webster, eulogy for John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, 2 August 1826).
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"EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR CAN CAUSE DIABETES." According to the American Diabetes Association, while acknowledging that sugar intake is a serious problem for diabetics, the condition ocurs when the body produces insufficient or inefficient amounts of insulin, which is the hormone that regulates how the body metabolizes sugar.
But sugar does not cause diabetes. What does? Doctors tell us that it tends to run in families, so there might be a genetic factor. About 80% of people with adult onset diabetes are overweight and obesity makes it more difficult for insulin to work efficiently. But eating sugar itself does not cause the disease, so this old saying is FALSE.
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From our archive -- Thanks to L.M.
Sometimes the spirit of the age, or at least the century, can be compressed into a single sentence.
The other day, a senior at the University of Maryland was explaining why he downloads movies free on his computer. "I feel if movies weren't so expensive," he said, there'd be no need to steal them."
Each age amends the commandments in its own way: Thou shalt not steal unless the stuff is too expensive to buy.
Thou shalt not bear false witness except in sexual harassment cases.
Thou shalt not envy unless you really, really want the golden calf of the moment........
It's an old, old story. The supposedly hip new morality of each age sounds an awful lot like the old immorality.
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Life's Tug Of War
Life can seem ungrateful ~ and
not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings
~ and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful ~ and happy
and free.
Life can put beauty ~ in the things
that you see.
Life can place challenges ~ right
at your feet.
Life can make good ~ of the hardships
that we meet.
Life can overwhelm you ~ and make
your head spin.
Life can reward those ~ determined
to win.
Life can be hurtful ~ and not always
fair.
Life can surround you ~ with people
who care.
Life clearly does offer ~ its ups
and its downs.
Life's days can bring you ~ both
smiles and frowns.
Life teaches us to take ~ the good
with the bad.
Life is a mixture ~ of happy and
sad.
So.....
Take the life that you have ~ and
give it your best.
Think positive, be happy ~ let
God do the rest.
Take the challenges ~ that life
has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful ~ for
each one you meet.
To yourself give forgiveness ~
if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you
~ and give it your all.
Take the love that you're given
~ and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed ~ it
will always be there.
Take time to find the beauty ~
in the things that you see.
Take life's simple pleasures ~
let them set your heart free. The idea here is simply ~ to even the score.
As you are met and faced with ~ Life's Tug Of War.
(author unknown)
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From a friend -- Humor from a Sad Situation
Q: Why do all Afghani soldiers carry
a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map.
Q: What do Afghanistan and Hiroshima
have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein, Osama
Bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They wanted to know where all
of those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Afghanistan
and Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: How many Americans does it take
to screw in a light bulb in Afghanistan?
A: Only one, but he does it from
30 miles away using laser targeting.
Q: "How many members of the coalition
does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment
on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice
as easy to train Iran's fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them
to take off.
Q: How do you play Afghanistan and
Iraqi bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...A-10.
Q: What is Afghanistan's national
bird?
A: Duck.
Q: How is Osama Bin Laden like Fred
Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their cave
windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have
glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: Did you hear that Osama Bin Laden
won the toss?
A: He elected to receive.
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From a friend: A NEW TEST
1. What is 5 divided by 1/2 plus
3?
2. I have two coins making 55 cents
but one is not a nickel. How can that be?
3. Why are 1977 dollars worth more
than 1976 dollars?
4. What word in the English language
does nearly everyone pronounce incorrectly?
5. In the United States is it legal
for a man to marry his widow's sister?
6. How much dirt is there in a
hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
7. Some months have 30 days, some
months have 31 days; how many have 28?
8. Which is correct - eight and
eight IS fifteen or eight and eight ARE fifteen?
9. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs
over the side of a boat with the bottom rung at the surface of the water.
There is one foot between rungs and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches
per hour. How long until three rungs are covered?
10. Mr. and Mrs. Smith have six
daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people in the family?
(Answers tomorrow)
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ANSWER: Winston Churchill, of course.
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Good Morning: It's Friday November 30, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Jonathan Swift, 1667; Mark Twain, 1835; Sir Winston Churchill, 1874; Virginia Mayo, 1922; Efrem Zimbalist Jr., 1923; Shirley Chisholm, 1924; Robert Guillaume, 1927; Dick Clark, 1929; G. Gordon Liddy, 1930; Abbie Hoffman, 1936; Paul Stookey, 1937; David Mamet, 1947; Mandy Patinkin, 1952; Billy Idol, 1955; Bo Jackson, 1962.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1620 Peregrine White became the first child born to a pilgrim family in the New England colonies.
On this date in 1782 England and America signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, marking the end of the Revolutionary War.
On this date in 1875 a patent for a biscuit cutter was issued to A.P. Ashbourne of Oakland, CA.
On this date in 1887 the first softball game was played in Chicago, IL.
On this date in 1939 Russia invaded Finland. Finland was able to hold them off for about 3 months, much to the delight of the world then, but eventually Russia took over. We know what followed...
On this date in 1940 Desi Arnaz proved that he did, in fact, love Lucy by eloping with her to Greenwich, Connecticut.
On this date in 1954 a meteorite fell on Ann Hodges of Sylacauga, AL.
On this date in 1981 the following NEW YORK TIMES headline was seen: NATALIE WOOD IS FOUND DROWNED ON YACHT VISIT TO SANTA CATALINA
On this date in 1983 a new toy hit toy stores, at least a few of them did, and they didn't stay long: Cabbage Patch Dolls debuted.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Ann Hodges (Sylacauga, AL) really was resting on her couch in 1954 when she felt pain in her left hand and hip, saw a large hole in the ceiling, then noticed a rock -- still warm to the touch -- on the floor. It was a meteorite... Winston Churchill applied himself in school and won a prize for memorizing 1,200 lines of poetry from memory without a single mistake!... At the height of WWII he said, "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."
TRIVIA: This man designed the now flattened World Trace Center Twin-Towers in NYC. He also designed the Dhahran Air Terminal in Saudi Arabia (a building so popular there that it's image now appears on their currency). His birthday is tomorrow. Can you name him?
I really like this quote -- "There will never be a really free and enlightened state until the state comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its power and authority was derived, and treats him accordingly" (Henry David Thoreau, 1817 - 1862).
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EATING TOO MUCH WILL STRETCH YOUR STOMACH. IN ORDER TO LOSE WEIGHT, YOU HAVE TO SHRINK YOUR STOMACH.
That one sounds true, doesn't it? I mean, it stands to reason... I believed it for years -- in fact, up until just a few minutes ago! Turns out it is NOT TRUE. The stomach does not "shrink" when one eats less, it produces less gastric acid (because it senses that less is needed). To lose weight one must eat less while maintaining a constant or increasing usage of caloric energy. The less eaten at this meal usually serves to condition the body to expect less at the next meal and so on...
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The answers to the TEST from yesterday
-- Yes, this was an easy one, but hey, it's supposed to be fun, not work!
1. 13. 5 divided by .5 =
10 + 3 = 13
2. Only one is not a nickel, because
it is a 50 cent piece. The other is a nickel.
3. Because $1977.00 is more than
$1976.00.
4. incorrectly
5. No. If he has a widow,
then the man is dead and cannot legally marry anyone.
6. There is no dirt in a hole.
7. All the months.
8. Neither. Eight and eight
equals SIXTEEN.
9. The rungs will never be covered
because the boat rises with the tide
10. 9 family members total.
6 daughters, 1 brother, Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith.
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A nice thought from BC -- Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
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From our archive -- Thanks to L.M. for this one:
THE CROSS ROOM
The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear."
The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."
The man was filled with relief. "Thank you, Lord," he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.
And the Lord replied," My son, that is the cross you just brought in."
When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.
Remember:
Whatever your cross, whatever your
pain,
There will always be sunshine after
the rain.
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps
even fall,
But God's always ready to answer
your call.
He knows every heartache, sees
every tear,
A word from His lips can calm every
fear.
Your sorrows may linger throughout
the night,
But suddenly vanish at dawn's early
light.
The Savior is waiting somewhere
above,
To give you His grace and send
you His love.
Whatever your cross, whatever your
pain,
God always sends rainbows after
the rain.
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A nice thought from BC -- Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
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From StanKegel: Politically
Correct 3 Little Pigs
Once there were 3 little pigs who
lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment.
Using materials that were indigenous to the area they each built a beautiful
house.
One pig built a house of straw,
one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay and creeper vines
shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln.
When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self-determination.
But their idyll was soon shattered.
One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry in both a physical and ideological sense.
When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw.
The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture."
But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw.
The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit.
Where the house had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation.
At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
The pigs shouted back, "Go away, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!"
At this the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks.
The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels.
Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time- share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling and dolphin shows.
At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations.
By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the situation from the carnivore's point of view.
So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.
The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf.
Their next step was to liberate their homeland.
They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands.
This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine-guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs.
Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone.
Please note: The wolf in this story
was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing
of the story.
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ANSWER: The architect -- Minoru Yamasaki.
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