BIRTHDAYS: Robert Fulton, 1765; Claude Monet, 1840; Mamie Eisenhower, 1896; Aaron Copland (American composer), 1900; William Steig (children's author and illustrator), 1907; Astrid Lindgren (Swedish author who created Pippi Longstocking), 1907; Joseph McCarthy (U.S. Senator), 1908; Brian Keith, 1921; McLean Stevenson, 1929; Edward White (American astronaut who became the first man to walk in space), 1930; Prince Charles, 1948; Jack Sikma, 1955; Ronald McDonald (corporate mascot of McDonald's fast-food restaurants), 1966.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1732 the first paid librarian, Louis Timothee, was hired by the Library Company of Philadelphia.
On this date in 1832 the first streetcar went into operation.
On this date in 1836 fiberglass was patented by a Frenchman named Dubus-Bonnel.
On this date in 1851 Moby Dick was published. Herman Melville had written 5 novels before Moby Dick, but this was his biggest hit. It was loosely based on real events -- the sinking of the Essex. The Penguin Press has an excellent version of a diary written by a sailor on the Essex that I highly recommend.
On this date in 1889 Nellie Bly bested Jules Verne's fictional hero, Phileas Fogg, by using ships, trains, camels and dog carts to go around the world in 72 days.
On this date in 1922 the British Broadcasting Corporation began broadcast of domestic radio service.
On this date in 1963 Surtsey, a volcanic island near Iceland, was born.
On this date in 1972 the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000 level for the first time, ending the day at 1003.16.
On this date in 1983 President Ronald Reagan toured the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea.
On this date in 1986 the Securities and Exchange Commission imposed a record $100 million penalty against Ivan Boesky.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: From yesterday, a Daric, = $5.00; Denarius, a day's wage, = one penny; Didrachma, 1/2 Jewish Shekel, = 32 cents; Drachma, = 16 cents; Farthing, = 1/4 cent; Fathom, = 6 feet; Finger Span, = 3/4 inch; Furlong, = 202 yards. More tomorrow.
TRIVIA: Where in the Bible may one read a description of the sneezing of a crocodile?
I am not familiar with the source quoted below (perhaps some reader is and can comment), but the thought suggested applies not only to their community but to far too many others... "Californians seem to understand that government's major function is to entertain. No matter who is elected, the politicos end up swindling us, wasting our tax money on pork-barrel projects. The only way to reclaim at least some of that lost money is to elect politicians who put on a good show" (Orange County Register).
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From our archive -- From PackyHumor:
On Marriage: One-Liners
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. -- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. -- Cindy Garner
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Youngman
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Some old, some new -- thanks to a friend: Church Signs
"If you do not want to reap the fruits of sin stay out of the devil's orchard"
"Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back"
"Life has many choices - Eternity has two. What's yours?"
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1"
"Under same management for over 2000 years"
"Soul food served here"
“Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!"
"You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving"
"Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!"
"We should be more concerned with the Rock of Ages, instead of the age of rocks"
"Reputation is what people think about you. Character is what people know you are"
"Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case!"
"Come early for a good Backseat"
"Seven days without prayer makes one weak"
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due"
"A man's character is like a fence. It cannot be strengthened by whitewash"
"Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!"
"Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary"
"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible"
"It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees"
"A clear conscience makes a soft pillow"
"The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday"
"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive"
"Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings"
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams"
"Christians, keep the faith... But not from others!"
"Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies"
"To belittle is to be little" Kenneth Cooper
Remember me when you want to make sure your family is in good hands....
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From a friend -- "Ya'llbonics" (NOTE: For the record, I am an Arkansas native and I still ran this piece in the interest of good humor...)
ANY GOOD SOUTH'NER WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN PEACHES WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD BELOW !
HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew ?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert !"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage Just set that bare rat cheer.
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."
ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas. Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE !"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny ?"
HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart ? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see". Usage "Billy Bob seed Bubba over'ta the fill'n station yester'd."
VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view ?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
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ANSWER: A crocodile's sneezing is described in Job 41:18 -- "By his [the crocodile's] neesings a light doth shine, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning." The RV has, "His sneezings flash forth light,..." The word "neesing" is the original form of "sneezing," and is used to translate the very appropriate Hebrew word, "atishah."
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