Good Morning: It's Wednesday May
2, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Artist Mary Cassatt, 1844; Lorenz Hart,
1895; Dr. Benjamin Spock, 1903; Bing Crosby, 1904; Theodore Bikel, 1924;
Leslie Gore, 1946; Larry Gatlin, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1885 the first issue of "Good Housekeeping"
cleaned up at the newsstands.
On this date in 1945 the German city of Berlin surrendered
to the Russian Army.
On this date in 1952 the first jet airplane service was
launched. The first passenger flight took off from London, England
and landed in Johannesburg, South Africa.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Australia is the only continent
without an active volcano... Nine-tenths of the ice in the world can be
found in Antarctica... If you discount the "North" and "South" in the Americas,
each of the world's continents begin and end with the same letter (e.g.,
EuropE, AmericA, Asia, etc.)
TRIVIA: On what campus would you find the "Animal
House"?
Dr. Benjamin Spock, birthday-boy,
said: "There are only two things a child will share willingly --
communicable diseases and his mother's age." Probably correct.
Enjoy...
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An old favorite from a friend: A Horsey Funny
A man has been lost and walking in the desert for about
five days. One hot day--actually, they're all hot--he comes to the home
of a preacher. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses
on the doorstep. The preacher takes him in and nurses him back to health.
Feeling better, the man asks the preacher for directions to the nearest
town. The preacher tells him the directions, and offers to lend him his
horse to make it. The preacher says, "However, there is a special thing
about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen'
to make it stop."
Anxious to get to town, the man says, "Sure, okay" and
gets on the horse. He says, "Thank God" and sho 'nuff, the horse starts
walking. A bit later he says louder, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse
starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God! Thank
God! THANK GOD!" and the horse is soon up to a full run!
About then he realizes he's heading for a huge cliff
and yells "Whoa!" But the horse doesn't even slow! It's coming up REAL
QUICK and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop,
hold on!" Finally he remembers "AMEN!!!"
The horse stops a mere two inches from the cliff's edge,
almost throwing him over its head. The man, panting and heart racing, wipes
the sweat from his face and leans back in the saddle. "Oh!" he says, gasping
for air, "Thank God."
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Thanks to AB: FRIENDSHIP - 2001
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's
bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said," is not
a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It was exquisite, silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb
of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York,
at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special
occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me
and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician.
His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment,
then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything
for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the
days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad
chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the midwestern town where my sister's family
lives.
I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing
that they were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed
my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending
more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience
to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped,
the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it.
My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small
bag of groceries without wincing.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks
in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well
as my party going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing
their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing,
I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known
that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think
she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might
have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner,
her favorite food. I'm guessing. I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make
me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off
seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of
these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter
often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put
off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to
our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself
that every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift.
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From a friend: Definitions...
Abusive .... What's the matter, stupid, don't you know
the answer?
Ambivalance .... Well, it could be yes and it could be
no.
Amnesia .... I forget.
Antipathy .... You would have to ask me that.
Amorous .... I love the way you ask that question.
Apathy .... I don't care.
Apologetic .... I'm sorry that you have to ask me that.
Argumenative .... Are you looking for a fight?
Authoritarian .... I'll tell you when you can ask me
questions!
Bigotry .... I'm not going to tell someone like
you.
Compulsive .... I want to tell you right now, I have
to tell you right now!
Conditional .... Well, it depends.
Depressed .... You would have to ask me that.
Dyslexic .... Gniees sdrawkcab.
Egotistical .... I'm the best person to answer
that question.
Evasive .... Have you done your homework today?
Exhausted .... I'm too tired to answer you right
now.
Greedy .... What's in it for me if I tell you?
Hostility .... If you ask me just one more question,
I'll kill you!
Hypochondriacal .... The thought of it makes me sick.
Ignorance .... I don't know.
Indifference .... It doesn't matter.
Influenza .... You've got to be sick to ask me
that question.
Insecure .... I don't think I want to know the answer
to that question.
Insensitive .... I don't care if you don't know
the answer.
Insomnia .... I stayed awake all last night thinking
of the answer.
Narcissism .... Before I answer, tell me, don't
I look great?
Nausea .... That question is going to make me vomit.
Nonchalant .... It's not important.
Obstinate .... I'm not going to tell you.
Optomistic: I¹ll be able to answer any question
you give me.
Over-Protective .... I don't know if you're ready for
the answer.
Over-Sensitive .... How could you ask me a question like
that?
Paranoid .... You think I don't know the answer, don't
you?
Pessimistic .... I'm sure I won't give the right answer.
Procrastination .... I'll tell you tomorrow.
Repetitive .... I already told you the answer once before.
Sarcastic .... That's a stupid question to ask me.
Secretive .... I can't tell you right now.
Self-Centered .... Well, I know the answer, that's all
that matters.
Senile .... When I was your age, we couldn't ask
these
questions.
Subjective .... It's all in how you look at the question.
Suspicious .... Why are you asking me all these questions?
Verbose __ I'm glad you asked me that question because
I have done extensive research into that very issue and am probably the
most qualified person you could find to give you an accurate answer to
your inquiry.
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ANSWER: Faber College.
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