Good Morning:
It's Sunday May 6, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: John Penn,
1740; explorer Robert E. Peary, 1856; Rudolph Valentino, 1895; Steward
Granger, 1913; Willie Mays, 1931; Bob Seger, 1945.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1626 Peter
Minuit bought Manhattan Island for $ 24.00.
On this date in 1937 the Hindenburg,
pride of the Third Reich, exploded and burned as it approached the mooring
mast in Lakehurst, New Jersey. Reporter Herb Morrison uttered the
now famous phrase, "Oh, the humanity!"
On this date in 1840 the first
postage stamps were issued. Most of the letters on which they were
placed have been delivered...
On this date in 1954 Rober
Bannister broke the four-minute mile barrier.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The
average adult in the United States reads just 24 minutes a day... The typical
American reads 36 magazines a year... One out of 10 Americans reads the
Bible every day.
TRIVIA: Which of the
following amazing facts is bogus?
A. During World War I sheep
were employed to mow the grass at the White House.
B. Clark Gable had webbed
feet.
C. Conductors live longer
than average because of their regular upper body workouts.
D. Walter Cronkite once hosted
a game show.
Red
Buttons said, "George Washington said to his father, "If I never tell a
lie, how can I get to be president?" That probably wasn't true, but
it would be a practical consideration...
*******************************************************
Thanks to AB: The Two-Cow
Philosophy:
Socialism: You have two cows.
You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows.
The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
Fascism: You have two cows.
The government takes them and sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy: You have two
cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays
you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Corporate: You have two cows.
You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then
act surprised when it drops dead.
Democracy: You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order
to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a
gift from your government
*******************************************************
Thanks to AB for another good
one: SCARS OF LOVE
Some years ago on a hot summer
day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming
hole behind his house.
In a hurry to dive into the
cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks and shirt
as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam
toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His mother--in the house was
looking out the window- saw the two as they got closer and closer together.
In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as
she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a
U-turn to swim to his mother.
It was too late. Just
as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother
grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs.
That began an incredible tug-of-war
between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the
mother was much too passionate to let go.
A farmer happened to drive
by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived.
His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal, and
on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into
his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved. The newspaper
reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show
him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride,
he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms, I have great scars
on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go.
You and I can identify with
that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, or anything
quite so dramatic. But the scars of a painful past. Some of those
scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret.
But, some wounds, my friend,
are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's
been there holding on to you. The Scripture teaches that God loves you.
He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way.
But sometimes we foolishly
wade into dangerous situations. The swimming hole of life is filled with
peril -- and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack.
That's when the tug-of-war
begins -- and if you have the scars of His love on your arms be very, very
grateful. He did not and will not let you go. If you see someone without
a smile, stop ... and give them yours. God has blessed you, so that you
can be a blessing to others.
*******************************************************
Thanks to LBS: Headlines
On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR
STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists
Killed
-------------------------------------------------------
On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence
of Rock
-------------------------------------------------------
On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT
EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed
-------------------------------------------------------
On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT
HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged
by Insensitive Couple
-------------------------------------------------------
On feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior
-------------------------------------------------------
On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy
-------------------------------------------------------
On healing of the Gadarene
demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment
Lost
-------------------------------------------------------
On raising Lazarus from the
dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES
A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed
*******************************************************
Thanks to LBS for another
good one: VanGogh and family
After much careful research,
it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.
Among them were:
His dizzy aunt...........................Verti
Gogh
The brother who ate prunes...............Gotta
Gogh
The constipated uncle....................Cant
Gogh
The brother who worked at
a convenience store .....Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia..........U
Gogh
The brother who bleached his
clothes white...Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois................Chica
Gogh
His magician uncle......................Wherediddy
Gogh
His Mexican cousin......................Amee
Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American
half brother.Grin Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt...............Tan
Gogh
A sister who loved disco................Go
Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage
coach......Wellsfar Gogh
The bird lover uncle....................Flamin
Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst................E
Gogh
The fruit loving cousin.................Man
Gogh
An aunt who taught positive
thinking....Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew................Poe
Gogh
And his niece who travels
the country in a van..Winnie Bay Gogh
(A cousin, who is always asking............Will
U Gogh L.B.S.)
(A cousin who anwers the first.......Why
Gogh L.B.S.)
(A cousin who says...................Let's
Gogh L.B.S.)
(A cousin who works at a fast
food place.To Gogh L.B.S.)
(A cousin who drives freeway
in work traffic......Slow N. Gogh L.B.S.)
( A cousin who works on company
names........Lo Gogh L.B.S.)
(Is there any end to his family?????L.B.S.)
*******************************************************
ANSWER: B is for bogus.
The King had normal tootsies. The name of that Walter Cronkite game
show was "It's News to Me", 1951-1954 on CBS.
*******************************************************
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