Good Morning:
It's Monday May 7, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Poet Robert
Browning, 1812; Johannes Brahms, 1833; Peter Ilyitch Tchaikovsky, 1840;
Archibald MacLeish, 1892; Gary Cooper, 1901; inventor Edwin Land, 1909;
Darren McGavin, 1922; Theresa Brewer, 1931.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1915 the Lusitania
went to the bottom after being torpedoes by a German U-boat, hastening
American involvement in World War I.
On this date in 1945 Nazi
forces surrendered to General Dwight D. Eisenhower in Reims, France.
The cease-fire and proclamation of VE Day -- Victory in Europe Day -- didn't
take effect until the next day.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The
last battleship built in the United States was the U.S.S. Missouri... "The
third time's a charm": In 1871 the George F. Whitney was launched.
The schooner went on the rocks during its maiden voyage. It was rebuilt
and wrecked again on its second voyage. Rebuilt again, it sailed
off over the horizon of Lake Michigan and was never seen again... The motto
of the FBI is (despite what is said on playgrounds): "Fidelity, Bravery,
Integrity".
TRIVIA: Who was Chester
Carlson and why did he and the Haloid Company make history?
Here
is a Mark Twain quote to start our Monday: "What a good thing Adam
had -- when he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before."
On to the real stuff!
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Thanks to AB: Evidence
I am NOT a morning person
This morning when trying to
get my clothes out of the dryer, I knocked over a cup of coins slinging
coins all over the bathroom in one large crash. It took me about
two minutes to 1) realize there was a noise 2) to realize what caused
it. No comment about how long it took me to get my clothes on.
At school, at about 10:30 AM I went to the bathroom. There I realized
that I had my vest on wrong side out. And buttoned. For almost four hours.
Yesterday I made myself a
peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and a cup of coffee. This is
a great feat for me and I felt proud. I gathered my things up to
leave for work. When trying to get the dog out of the house, he ran
into the banister head on. He, also, is not a morning person.
This knocked off my coffee which was sitting on the banister. I watched
in horror as coffee was slung all over the steps, banister and walls.
I grabbed my stuff and left. Disgusted, I figured, oh, well, I had planned
on painting the steps, anyway. I ate my sandwich on the way to work,
put my head band into my hair, and I went to breakfast duty. An hour
later, sitting in my first period math class, one of my students said,
"Ms. Price, there's something wrong with your head band." The left
side was covered in peanut butter. I had done my morning duty with
peanut butter in my hair. I sat, stunned, at my desk. I looked
at my grade book. The back side was covered in jelly and there was peanut
butter on the spine. My students, who know me well, joined me in
a well deserved belly laugh. Some people just aren't cut out for
mornings!
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Thanks to a friend:
A faithful church member knocked
on the door of one of his families for one of his monthly visits. He knew
that someone was home, but the door was never answered even after repeated
knocks. He then took a 3 x 5 card, wrote a scripture and left it on the
door. The scripture was Revelation 3:20: "Behold I stand at
the door and knock: If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will
come in to him."
A few days later, the church member found the 3 X 5 card on HIS door and
on the other side of it found the scripture Genesis 3:10: "And he
said, I heard thy voice, and I was afraid, because I was naked: and I hid
myself."
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Thanks to my sister:
THE CLASS OF 2004
Just in case you weren't feeling
too old today, this will change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College
in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of
the mindset of this year's incoming freshman.
Here is this year's list:
The people who are starting
college this fall across the nation were born in 1982. They have no meaningful
recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been
shot.
They were prepubescent when
the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday, 1987 is as significant to
them as the Great Depression.
There has been only one Pope.
They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the
Cold War.
They have never feared a nuclear
war. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Tianamen
Square means nothing to them. Bottle caps have always been screw off and
plastic. Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums. The statement "You sound
like a broken record" means nothing to them.
They have never owned a record
player. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.
They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced
when they were 1 year old.
As far as they know, stamps
have always cost about 33 cents. They have always had an answering machine.
Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen
a black and white TV. They have always had cable. There have always been
VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was. They cannot fathom not having
a remote control.
They don't know what a cloth
baby diaper is, or know about the "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get
up" commercial. Feeling old Yet? There's more: They were born the year
that Walkmen were introduced by Sony. Roller skating has always meant inline
for them. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. They have
no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool. Popcorn has always been cooked
in the microwave.
They have never seen Larry
Bird play. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. The Vietnam War
is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the Civil War. They
have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. They can't
imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where
he was from. They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for
a Camel," or "De plane, de plane!".
They do not care who shot
J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was. The Titanic was found? They thought
we always knew. Michael Jackson has always been white. Kansas, Chicago,
Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not rock bands. McDonalds never
came in styrofoam containers. There has always been MTV. They don't have
a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old?
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From a friend: Baskin
Robins
Okay, Okay, Okay! Two robins
were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one. "Me too"
said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew to the
ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and
ate and ate and ate until they couldn't eat anymore. "I'm so full I don't
think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one. "O.K." said the
second one. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner that they
had fallen asleep, when a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up.
As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...............READY............He
thought...... "I just love 'baskin' robins."
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ANSWER: Carlson was
an inventor with a new idea, the first xerographic copy, who was turned
down by every major corporation including RCA and IBM. He finally
sold his patents to the small Haloid Company which soon changed its name
to Xerox.
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