Good Morning:
It's Monday March 26, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Robert (one of
my favorite poets) Frost, 1874; Al Jolson, 1886; Sterling Hayden, 1916;
Leonard Nimoy, 1931; Alan Arkin, 1934; James Caan, 1940; Erica Jong, 1942;
Diana Ross, 1944; Vicki Lawrence, 1949; Martin Short, 1950; Marcus Allen,
1960.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1845 a patent was
issued for "adhesive medicated plaster", a precursor of bandaid.
On this date in 1871 Prince Jonah
Kuhio Kalanianaole, who would later represent the Territory of Hawaii as
a delegate to the U.S. House of Representatives, was born.
On this date in 1885 commercial
motion picture film was first manufactured. George Eastman did it.
On this date in 1953 Dr. Jonas
Salk announced a new vaccine to immunize against polio.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: 4 out
of 5 people who try out a new pen will write their own name... 40 out of
100 Americans eat cereal for breakfast every day... One out of 10 people
in the U.S. is affected by influenza each year.
TRIVIA: What is the name
of the little man with the top hat and mustache in the game of Monopoly?
A. Daddy Warbucks B. I.M.
Rich C. Mr. Monopoly D. Rich Uncle Pennybags
Here is
a good Monday quote to make us appreciate our jobs -- "The trouble with
unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the
job" (Slappy White). Makes sense...
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Thanks to a friend (We have seen
these before, but they are good enough to see again. It reminds me
greatly of what I have heard concerning why some will not participate in
the Lord's work...)
TEN REASONS WHY I NEVER WASH
1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who wash are hypocrites
-- they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
3. There are so many different
kinds of soap, I can't decide which is best.
4. I used to wash, but I got bored
and stopped.
5. I wash only on special occasions,
like Christmas and Easter.
6. None of my friends wash.
7. I'll start washing when I get
older and dirtier.
8. I can't spare the time.
9. The bathroom is never warm enough
in winter or cool enough in summer.
10. People who make soap are only
after your money.
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Thanks to LBS: BAD American
Consider this: Yes, I guess I am
a BAD American....I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally--
other big things.
I believe the money I make belongs
to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a
bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out
babies.
I don't care about appearing compassionate,
and I don't care what you think about me not caring.
I don't think playing with toy
guns will make you a killer any more than playing with dolls will make
you pregnant.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts
for a reason.
I don't think being a minority
makes you noble or victimized.
I don't think being in the majority
makes you a tyrant.
I think it is very appropriate
that proposals for new laws are called "bills". That puts it in the
right context.
I have the right not to be tolerant
of others because they are different, or weird.
I know what SEX is and there are
not varying degrees of it.
I believe that if you are selling
me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in
English.
As of matter of fact, if you are
an American citizen you should speak English. If I decide to move
to Tanzania, I would not expect everyone there to switch to English.
I think the cops have every right
to shoot you if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If
you can't understand the words freeze or stop in English, see above item.
If I received oral sex from one
of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter
or my personal business. I would rightfully have been FIRED immediately.
I know how to count votes and I
feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount
when needed.
I know what the definition of lying
is.
I know what the definition of "IS"
is.
I didn't take the initiative in
inventing the Internet.
I believe character does matter.
I thought the Taco Bell dog was
funny.
I want them to bring back safe
and sane fireworks.
I resent laws that try to protect
me from myself.
I resent laws that try to protect
me from you too, but I'm rethinking some of that.
I believe no one ever died because
of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't
mean I want to listen to that from someone else's car when I'm stopped
at a red light. But I respect your right to listen, just turn the
volume down so my eardrums wont burst..
I don't think that being a student
gives you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In
The Box.
I don't want to eat or drink anything
with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I did not go to some foreign country
and risk my life to defend our constitution so that decades later you can
tell me it's a living document ever changing and open to interpretation.
I don't care who you sleep with,
as long as it's not me. Please don't insist on telling me about it.
I don't hate the rich.
I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake.
I know I've never owned or was
a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't wealthy enough
to own one either.
I believe a self-righteous liberal
with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I own a gun, I believe you can
own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun;
but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber
band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with
malicious intent.
I completely fail to see how we
can create a more tolerant society by implementation of zero tolerance
policies.
I worry about my kids experimenting,
but I'd also worry if they were too dumb to wonder about things around
them.
I worry about dying before I get
even.
I have never called the Psychic
Hotline. I figure if they knew what I needed they'd call me.
I think Bill Gates has every right
to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it upsets
you, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on
the building.
I don't think getting elected or
appointed to public office makes you an expert on anything.
I don't think being an actress
who is famous for being fat, ugly and funny, makes you an expert on guns.
I like the convenience of buying
oranges from a sidewalk vendor, or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and
I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer
lives in a refrigerator box in East Dallas or is sleeping in the streets
of her home country.
We don't need more laws!
We can't enforce the ones we already have.
I believe that it doesn't take
a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with courage to stand up
to the kid and spank him and say "NO".
I think tattoos and piercing are
fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.
I'll admit that the only movie
that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.
I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was
a genius until I had a kid.
I will not be frowned upon or be
looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs
and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.
I will not conform or compromise
just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.
If you and I disagree on something
to the point one of us will win and the other will lose, I will attempt
to win. You do whatever suits you.
I think the price of wheat should
be directly tied to the price of oil.
I hate it when a politician wants
to pass a new law because it "may" help something.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised,
no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to
believe otherwise.
I like being me.
What I like most about being me
is that I ain't you.
Yes, I guess by the modern definition,
I'm a bad American....
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ANSWER: D. Uncle Pennybags.
He must be pretty rich by now, as Parker Brothers has sold well over 100
million Monopoly games since its introduction in 1933.
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