Good Morning: It's Tuesday
March 20, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Henrik Ibsen, 1828; Carl Reiner, 1922;
Mr. Fred Rogers, 1928; Hal (Barney Miller) Linden, 1931; Jerry Reed, 1937;
Pat Riley, 1945; Bobby Orr, 1948; William Hurt, 1950; Holly Hunter, 1958.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1751 King George III succeeded to the
throne of England. He was the one who thought he could push the colonists
around, and learned that the Prime Ministers largely agreed with him.
Had he not acted as he did, we might all be British today...
On this date in 1852 "Uncle Tom's Cabin", by Harriet
Beecher Stowe, was published.
On this date in 1969 Beatle John Lennon married Yoke
Ono in Gibraltar.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The first newspaper crossword
puzzle, by Arthur Wynne, appeared in the "New York World" on December 21,
1913... The first supermarket was established in 1916 when Clarence Saunders
set up shop with the Piggley Wiggley self-service food mart in Memphis,
TN... The first chartered railroad in the U.S. was the Granite Railway
which made its initial run from Quincey, MA to the Neponset River (a distance
of 3 miles) on October 7, 1826.
TRIVIA: Who am I? I am a bird that can't
fly. I'm 8 feet tall. I live and work and play in New York
City. My street address is 123 1/2. And, although I am ageless,
today is my birthday.
Here is a bit of practical wisdom
with which to begin our Tuesday: "The reason lightning doesn't strike
twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time"
(Willie Tyler). Now, that makes sense... On to the real stuff.
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Thanks to JLLH: Wet Rabbit
A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging
a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does not want to be there.
"Sit, Fluffy," she says.
Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another
customer's lap, getting water all over him.
"I said sit, now there's a good Fluffy," says the woman,
slightly embarrassed.
Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room
and wets the carpet.
The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, "Fluffy, will
you be good?!"
Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues
it out of the office.
As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the
rest of the flabbergasted customers and says, "Pardon me, I've just washed
my hare, and can't do a thing with it!"
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Thanks again to JLLH: A Story of Love
Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near
Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely
to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household,
a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade
and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood.
Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the
elder children, Albrecht and Albert, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue
their talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never
be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the
Academy.
After many long discussions at night in their crowded
bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The
loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support
his brother while he attended the academy.
Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his
studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy,
either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring
in the mines.
They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church.
Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down
into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother,
whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's
etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most
of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn
considerable fees for his commissioned works.
When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer
family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant
homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and
laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table
to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that
had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition. His closing words were, "And
now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you
can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you."
All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end
of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking
his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and
over,
"No...no...no...no."
Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks.
He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding
his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot
go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look, look what four years in the
mines have done to my hands!
The bones in every finger have been smashed at least
once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right
hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make
delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, my brother
.. for me it is too late."
More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's
hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors,
charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in
the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar
with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely being familiar
with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home
or office.
One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had
sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands
with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful
drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened
their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The
Praying Hands."
The next time you see a copy of that touching creation,
take a second look. Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that
no one-no one - - ever makes it alone!
May you always have work for your hands to do, May your
pockets hold always a coin or two, May the sun shine bright on your windowpane,
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain, May the hand of a friend
always be near you, And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer
you.
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And thanks again to JLLH as we round out today's list
which features his forwards exclusively:
A blind guy on a stool at the diner shouts to the cook,
"Wanna hear a blonde joke?
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before
you tell that joke, you should know something. Our cook is blonde,
and the waiter is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. black belt and blonde.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" weighs 225 lb. and he's a rugby player
and blonde. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's
a wrestler and blonde. Think about it mister, You still wanna tell that
joke"?
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have
to explain it five times.
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ANSWER: If you have someone in the house under
the age of 6 they probably know (???) that I am Big Bird from Sesame Street.
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