Good Morning: It's Sunday
March 25, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Arturo Toscanini, 1867; Gutzon Borglum,
1867; David Lean, 1908; Howard Cosell, 1920; Gloria Steinem, 1935; Anita
Bryant, 1940; Aretha Franklin, 1942; Paul Michael Glaser, 1943; Reginald
Kenneth Dwight (Elton John), 1947.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1821 Greek patriots led an uprising against
the Ottoman Empire. Alexander Ypsilantis and other members of the
"Friendly Brotherhood", according to tradition, crossed the Pruth River
in Moldavia and were defeated by a strong military defense force.
But the incident triggered a number of anti-Ottoman revolts in the Peloponnese
and on several islands. After 9 long years of revolution, Greece
won its freedom as a sovereign nation.
On this date in 1913 a fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist
Factory caused 145 deaths (only 13 girls survived).
On this date in 1954 the NBC peacock got a feather in
its cap when RCA began manufacturing color television sets.
On this date in 1982 the Canada Act was signed.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: It was birthday boy, Gutzon
Borglum, who created the Mount Rushmore display in South Dakota... Its
rock stars are George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt
and Abraham Lincoln. Their four carved faces, from head to chin,
each measure 60 feet. If they were given proportionately-sized bodies,
they would be almost 500 feet tall... Mount Rushmore took 14 years to complete.
TRIVIA: What does a pognophobic fear?
I have a couple of Howard Cosell
books, and they are pretty good reading. I don't agree with much
of his philosophy, but I do enjoy remembering him and the characters he
interacted with. Here is a quote from him to get us going:
"Sports is the toy department of human life." I only wish more people
would recognize it as such and keep it in its proper place in their priorities...
On to the real stuff.........
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Thanks to AB:
A college drama group presented a play in which one character
would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A
stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the
character would plunge through. The play was well received. When
the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight
took his place.
When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!"
the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became
hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make
him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah!
Hell is full!"
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Thanks to a friend: Little Things
Too often we don't realize
what we have until it is gone;
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."
Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
we hold dearest to our hearts;
And we allow foolish things
to tear our lives apart.
Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds;
And then it's usually too late
to see what made us blind.
So be sure that you let people know
how much they mean to you;
Take that time to say the words
before your time is through.
Be sure that you appreciate
everything you've got
And be thankful for the
Little things in life
that mean a lot.
Author Unknown
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Thanks to LBS: For Network Engineers
Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can
I help you today?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've
decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the
process?
CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to
proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I
think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other
programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep. : What programs are running
ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erase
PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your
permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your
Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times
as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been
completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing
itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that
says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only
the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order
to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already.
What should I do?
CS Rep. : What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN
ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?
CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but
has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE"
your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"? Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following
files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC,
REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite
any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all
directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure
it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up
with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my
HEART. Is this normal?
CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while,
but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE
is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One
more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it
and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share
it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back
to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the
way, what's your name?
CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist,
also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Most people feel
all they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer
(Me) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put
another way, keep in touch.........
Author Unknown
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ANSWER: A pognophobic finds beards to be a hair-raising
experience.
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