Good
Morning: It's Wednesday March 28, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Maxim Gorki, 1868;
Edmund Muskie, 1914; Pearl Bailey, 1918; Dirk Bogarde, 1921; Freddie Bartholomew,
1924; Zbigniew Brzezinski, 1928; Ken Howard, 1944; Reba McEntire, 1954;
Byron Scott, 1961.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1797 the first
washing machine patent was issued -- it was granted to Nathaniel Briggs
of New Hampshire. It would be more than a century later before electricity
and human ingenuity produced the labor-saving device on which we now depend.
On this date in 1930 the Turkish
cities of Constantinople and Angora became known as Istanbul and Ankara.
On this date in 1969 Dwight D.
Eisenhower, 34th President and WWII general, died at the age of 78.
On this date in 1979 Three Mile
Island, a reactor complex near Harrisburg, PA blew its cool and came close
to a core meltdown.
On this date in 1995 14 wolves
were set free in Yellowstone National Park. They had been nearly
eradicated because of their attacks on buffalo in the 1920's.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Spencer
Tracy was once given an Academy Award engraved to "Dick Tracy"... Ventriloquist
Edgar Bergen (and his dummy, Charlie McCarthy) received the only wooden
Oscar... The story most often made into a movie is "Cinderella", no less
than 58 times.
TRIVIA: Relating to careers,
what did Helen Hayes have in common with Steve McQueen?
How about
a Groucho Marx quote to get us going: "This would be a better world
for children if parents had to eat the spinach." Probably...
Anyway, on to the real stuff..........
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Thanks to a friend: Are you
there?
A little boy, who was "very" much
afraid of the dark, was told by his mother to go out to the back porch
and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother
and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly
at her son. You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus
is out there He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother
real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure . He is everywhere,
and he is always ready to help you when you need him" she said.
The little boy thought about that
for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering
out into the darkness, he called "Jesus? If you're out there, would you
please hand me the broom?"
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Thanks to a friend: Jonah
A little girl was observed by her
preacher standing outside the preschool Sunday School classroom between
Sunday School and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her
up for "big church."
The preacher noticed that
she clutched a big storybook under her arms with the obvious title, "Jonah
and the Whale."
Feeling a little pernicious,
he knelt down beside the little girl and began a conversation. "What's
that you have in your hand?" he asked.
"This is my storybook about
Jonah and the Whale," she answered.
"Tell me something, little
girl," he continued, "do you believe that story about Jonah and that whale
to be the truth?"
The little girl implored,
"Why of course I believe this story to be the truth!"
He inquired further, "You
really believe that a man can be swallowed up by a big whale, stay inside
him all that time, and come out of there still alive and OK? You really
believe all that can be true?"
She declared, "Absolutely,
this story is in the Bible and we studied about it in Sunday School today!"
Then the preacher asked,
"Well, little girl, can you prove to me that this story is the truth?"
She thought for a moment
and then said, "Well, when I get to Heaven, I'll ask Jonah."
The preacher then asked, "Well,
what if Jonah's not in Heaven?"
She then put her hands on
her little hips and sternly declared, "Then YOU can ask him!"
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Thanks to a friend: A Blonde
Puzzle
A blonde calls her boyfriend and
says, "Please come over here and help me. I have this killer jigsaw
puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it
supposed to look like when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to
the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over
and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him to where
she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment,
then looks at the box, and says, "First, no matter what we do, we're not
going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then put all
these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Here is an old favorite, submitted
by a friend:
Why Are Firetrucks Red?
Do you know why fire trucks are
red? Well... fire trucks have eight wheels and four firemen. Eight and
four are twelve. There are twelve inches in a foot. A foot is a ruler.
The Queen Elizabeth (named after a great ruler) is the largest ship on
the seas. Seas have fish. Fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians.
The Russian flag is mostly red. Fire trucks are always 'rushin' around.
Therefore fire trucks are red.
If you think this reasoning is
a bit far fetched, you ought to hear some people try to explain why they
are not in Sunday school and church!!
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From a friend: Five Finger
Prayer (Author Unknown)
1. Your Thumb is nearest to you.
So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the
easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C.S. Lewis once
said "sweet duty."
2. The next finger is the Pointing
Finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers,
doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others
in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.
3. The next finger is the Tallest
Finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders
in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation
and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.
4. The fourth finger is our Ring
Finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger,
as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those
who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and
night. You cannot pray too much for them.
5. And lastly comes our Little
Finger, the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves
in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the
greatest among you." Your Pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself.
By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will
be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself
more effectively.
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ANSWER: When Helen Hayes
saw the first movie in which she appeared, "The Sin of Madelon Claudet",
she was so appalled at her performance that she tried to buy the film back
and destroy it. She later won the Best Actress Oscar for her work.
Steve McQueen never lived down his appearance in "The Blob" and, when he
became a major star, attempted to buy up all the prints and have them destroyed.
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