Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school
for it.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, Voodoo.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your
red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of
her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law somewhere.
*******************************************************
Thanks to a friend: Stories
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on
her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must
be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing.
Entertain. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's
all you want, get a TV!"
*****
The young man told his father, "I want to marry a good
woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good mother to our kids, a woman
who will make me happy."
His father told him he'd better make up his mind.
*****
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some
friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college,
and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just
act as if I'm listening."
******
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love
and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what
marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom,
"Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."
Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman
to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."
*******************************************************
ANSWER: According to Job 4:15, when the "spirit"
passed before the face of Eliphaz, "the hair of (his) flesh stood up".
*******************************************************