Sincerely, friend, which is yours?
     Is one your very own?
     Frankly, now, I have no church,
     And only know of one.

     I've read the Bible o'er and o'er,
     But never found that line,
     "Today you go to your church,
     And I will go to mine."

     "Upon this rock I'll build my church",
     The Savior said one day.
     And just before the dear Lord died,
     He humbly knelt to pray.

     "May they be one as we are one,
     All who believe on me,
     So that the world may surely know,
     I'm loved and sent by Thee."

     He bought the church with His own blood,
     This first-born from the dead.
     He is the Savior of the church,
     He is its only Head.

     Yes, you may go to your church,
     But let me tell you this,
     Your worship will be void and vain,
     Unless you go to to HIS.
 
          Author Unknown ~ 1985
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Thanks to a friend:  A Marriage Funny
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."  The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like her."
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Thanks to LBS for:  A Day In The Life Of A Teacher
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her students put his boots on?He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on -- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.  He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"  He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."
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From a friend:  The Mote, the Beam, and the Hypocrite
The Greek word translated "mote" (Matthew 7:3-5) was found on a tombstone of the first century in the sentence, "He was not a whit injured" the words "a whit" being the translation of the word. That is, he was not injured in the slightest degree. The word in other connections refers to a straw, or a piece of chaff, a very small particle.
The word for "beam" is found in the early inscriptions refering to logs used for heating the bath, or heavy beams on which a temple was to be built. A log of that size would distort one's vision regarding a small particle in the eye of another. Our obligation is to put out of our lives those glaring faults that prevent us from properly appraising the character of another, before we seek to deal with the tiny faults of someone else.
The person with a log in his own eye who attempts to  deal with the tiny fault of another is a hypocrite. The Greek word here was used in ancient times to refer to one who judges under a mask. That is the composition of the word. It refered also to the person who played a part on the stage, to an actor, one who pretends to be what he is not. Here the person judging another from back of the mask of his self-righteousness, plays the part of an actor, giving out that he is something which he is not. Therefore, our Lord says, "Stop constantly judging, in order that ye be not judged."
Matthew 7:1-6 does not teach that judgements should never be made; Matthew 7:5 does speak of removing the speck from your brother's eye. The Lord's point was that a person should not be habitually critical or condemnatory of a speck of sawdust in someone else's eye when he has a plank- a strong hyperbole for effect- in his own eye. Such action is hypocritical (You hypocryte, v.5; "hypocrites" in 6:2, 5, 16).Though judgement is sometimes needed, those making the distinctions (krino, judge, means "to distinguish" and thus "to decide")must first be certain of their own lives. Furthermore when seeking to help another, one must excercise care to do what would be appreciated and beneficial. One should never entrust holy things (what is sacred) to unholy people (dogs; in Phil.3:2) or throw...pearls to pigs. Dogs and pigs were despised in those days. Roger F. Nichols
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ANSWER:  "There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.  And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters" (Job 1:1-2).
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