Good Morning:
It's Thursday March 8, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Oliver Wendell
Holmes, 1841; Sam Jaffee, 1891; Tula Finklea (Cyd Charisse), 1923; Charley
Pride, 1938; Lynn Redgrave, 1943; Monkee Mickie Dolenz, 1945.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1765 Great Britain's
House of Lords imposed the Stamp Act. The Americans retaliated by
boycotting all imported British goods including sugar and tea. This
first direct tax placed on the fledgling colonies was supposed to pay for
military defense during the French and Indian War.
On this date in 1894 bureaucracy
caught up to man's best friend as New York City passed its first dog licensing
law.
On this date in 1950 the U.S.S.R.
declared that they had built an atomic bomb.
On this date in 1965 the first
U.S. combat troops arrived in Vietnam.
On this date in 1979 President
Jimmy Carter went on a Middle East peace mission. It didn't do everything
they hoped it would...
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Caroline
Kennedy owned a horse which she rode on the White House grounds.
Its name was Macaroni... Eleven dogs played "Lassie" in the movie and TV
series. Only one was female... The only animal to be awarded both
the Purple Heart and Silver Star during World War II was Chips, a K-9 dog.
TRIVIA: What is the average
life expectancy of a one dollar bill? A - 2 years; B - 9 months;
C - 5 years; D - 1 1/2 years.
Here is
a George Burns quote: "Being a living legend is better than being
a dead legend." Of course, when he said that he was still a living
legend... On to the real stuff:
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Thanks to LBS: BENEFITS OF
GROWING OLDER
1. In a hostage situation you are
likely to be released first.
2. People call at 9 P.M. and ask,
"Did I wake you?"
3. You can eat dinner at 4:00 PM.
4. You can live without (you know
what) but not without glasses.
5. You get into a heated argument
about pension plans.
6. You have a party and the neighbors
don't even realize it.
7. You quit trying to hold your
stomach in, no matter who walks in the room.
8. You sing along with the elevator
music.
9. Your joints are more accurate
than the National Weather Service.
10. Your secrets are safe with
your friends because they can't remember them either.
11. Your supply of brain cells
is finally down to a manageable size.
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From a friend: More Cute
Definitions
Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A
cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What
a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some
hemlines fall
Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act
of torching a mortgage
Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What
a crook sees with
Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly
inmate
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers
\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse \i-klips'\: what an English
barber does for a living
Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: a clumsy
ophthalmologist
Heroes \hee'-rhos\: what a guy
in a boat does
Left Bank \left' bangk'\: what
the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Misty \mis'-tee\: How golfers create
divots
Paradox \par'-u-doks\: two physicians
Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what
you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper
on the farm
Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins
see with
Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your
spouse from in front of the TV
Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees
do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what
you do to relax your wife
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes
250 pounds in a size six
Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner
of a seafood store does
Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy,
like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing
litigation against a government official
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Thanks again to LBS: THE
THIRD MAN
Last night I dreamed I took a walk
up Calvary's lonely hill, The things I saw with my own eyes could not have
been more real.
I saw upon three crosses three
men in agony; Two cried out for mercy...but the third man just looked at
me.
Oh, the pain in this man's eyes
broke my heart in two! It seemed I could hear the third man say:
"I'm doing this for you."
I knelt beneath the third mean's
cross, and slowly bowed my head, I reached out to touch his feet, and it
stained my hand's with red.
And when I heard him cry in pain,
I raised my eyes to see; Blood spilled from the third man's side... and
some of it spilled on me.
The third man wore a crown of thorns,
spikes held him to the tree, I heard him cry, "My God, My God, why hast
thou forsaken me?"
And those who mocked him cried,
"King...save Thyself if thou art King!" and then the third man died.
I heard the thunder roll, and saw
the lightening pierce the sky. Then third man was still hanging there,
and I began to cry.
I heard the boulder fall, and saw
the breaking of the ground. And then I awoke, and thou I dreamed; I touched
my cheek And found my eyes were wet where I had cried.
A DREAM? I wished I knew--- I can
still hear the third man say, "I'm doing this for you." -- Author Unknown
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats:
Think Spring!!!
I come to the garden alone, while
the dew is still on the roses..........
Spring is just around the corner
- Here are some ideas for your garden
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING
PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another
NO GARDEN WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another
TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST
HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND
CULTIVATE WITH LOVE THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP
WHAT YOU SOW.
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Thanks to LBS: Things that
make you go "HMMMM . . . "
Why does the sun lighten our hair,
but darken our skin?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside
of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long
word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you
can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary
to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what
they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow
falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows
95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is it that when you're driving
and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch
called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the
dictionary?
Why isn't there a special name
for the tops of your feet?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?
You know that little indestructible
black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane
out of the same substance?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Why do you need a driver's license
to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Have a great day!
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ANSWER: D - Not only doesn't
a dollar go as far as it used to, it doesn't last as long either...
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