BIRTHDAYS:
Stan Laurel, 1890; Katherine Graham, 1917; photographer Irving Penn, 1917;
John Howard Griffin, 1920; Erich Segal, 1937; Joyce Carol Oates, 1938;
Billy "Crash" Craddock, 1939; Joan Van Ark, 1943; Wayne Rollins, 1955.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1329 the Black Prince -- Edward, Prince of Wales -- was born.
He gained his nickname partially because of the color of his armor.
But Edward also earned his dubious title for his ruthless brutality toward
his enemies and his relentless cruelty on the battlefield. Even on
his deathbed, Edward refused to forgive his enemies.
On this
date in 1838 former U.S. President John Quincy Adams -- then serving in
the House of Representatives -- rose and began a speech opposing the Texas
annexation. The history books tell us that his speech lasted three
weeks!
On this
date in 1858 the Republican Party assembled in Springfield, Illinois.
It had just nominated Abraham Lincoln as a candidate for the U.S. Senate.
He lost that particular election, but his words on that day still echo
through the corridors of time. Lincoln said to his audience:
"'A house divided against itself cannot stand.' I believe this government
cannot endure permanently half slave and half free."
On this
date in 1902 THE WIZARD OF OZ premiered in Theaters.
On this
date in 1963 Valentina Tereshkova of the Soviet Union became the first
female astronaut in space.
On this
date in 1980 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that scientists who developed
new life forms in laboratories could patent their creations.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: There is no lead in a lead pencil. It is filled with
graphite... A prairie dog isn't a dog. It's a rodent... The Red Sea
is not red. It's a bluish-green.
TRIVIA:
Name 2 television crime fighters whose first names were never revealed.
Neil Simon observed, "People with honorary awards are looked upon with
disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?"
Probably not... On with the real material!
*******************************************************
From
Jokes:
What
do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come
anyway...
*******************************************************
Thanks
to my youngest daughter: Dog
Two
boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges
it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter
who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the
boy.
"Young
Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his
notebook.
"But
I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry,
since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and
starts again. "Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he
continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm
not a Jets fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed
everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you
root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm
a Cowboys fan," the child said.
The
reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Maniac
Loser Kills Beloved Family Pet."
*******************************************************
Two
more from my youngest:
John
asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks.
"Not
really," says Mary.
"Well
how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John.
"No,"
she responds.
"What
about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests.
She
again rejects his offer with a "No thanks."
"Well
what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks.
"John,
I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
"Sorry,
I wasn't planning to spend that much," says John.
***
"What
do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic
ability or my superior intellect?"
"What
I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your enormous sense
of humor."
*******************************************************
Thanks
to M/M Riverrats: LAWYER IN AN ACCIDENT
A very
successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready
to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close
and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately
grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled
up.
Before
the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming
hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was
now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body
shop did to it.
When
the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer
shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic
you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that
you don't notice anything else."
"How
can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The
cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow
down? It must have been torn of when the truck hit you."
"My,
my!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
*******************************************************
Thanks
to a friend: Nephew
My nephew,
who has just started the first grade, was asked to memorize the Ten Commandments.
Upon reciting the commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," he was
asked what this commandment meant.
With
absolute seriousness he replied, "That means that you shouldn't want to
become an adult."
*******************************************************
From
KLEENLAFFS:
When
weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable
plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a
valuable plant. --Unknown
***
"After
you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident it makes you wonder
about history." --Unknown
***
"The
child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth.
Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression." -Robert Benchley
*******************************************************
From
Jokes: The Essential Guide to Women's English:
Yes
= No
No
= Yes
Maybe
= No
I'm
sorry = You'll be sorry
We need
= I want
It's
your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what
you want = You'll pay for this later
We need
to talk = I need to complain
Sure
go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm
not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
You're
so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic,
turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This
kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want
new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I heard
a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you
love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How
much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll
be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You
have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
Lt. Columbo and Quincy, although viewers once got a peek at Quincy's first
initial -- R.
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Father's Day!
BIRTHDAYS:
Igor Stravinsky, 1882; Ralph Bellamy, 1904; Author John Hersey, 1917; Dean
Martin, 1917; Barry Manilow, 1946; Joe Piscopo, 1951; Mark Linn-Baker,
1953.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1775 the Battle of Bunker Hill occurred. Though the battle
seems to have taken place on a neighboring hill (and was mis-named Bunker
Hill), it was on this date and during the preparations for this battle
that an American commander said, "Don't fire 'til you see the whites of
their eyes." The troops held their fire until the British troops
were nearly upon them. This was less a demonstration of chivalry
or courage than a safety measure: guns were so inaccruate then that
firing any sooner would have been a waste of ammunition.
On this
date in 1947 the first round-the-world airline service commenced.
A Pan-American Airline plane took off from New York's LaGuardia Field.
It didn't take 80 days, but it did take somewhat longer than one today
would.
On this
date in 1954 the Army-McCarthy televised hearings ended.
On this
date in 1972 the Watergate Burglars broke into the offices of the Democratic
National Committee.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: The oldest city in the United States is St. Augustine, Florida
founded by Menendez de Aviles in September, 1565... In 1950 the town of
Hot Springs, New Mexico renamed itself Truth or Consequences in honor of
the game show... The most common first name among U.S. Presidents is James
(6).
TRIVIA:
Identify the states associated with the following nicknames: A. The
Gopher State; B. The Pelican State; C. The Empire State of the South; D.
The Coyote State; E. The Palmetto State; F. God's Country.
Robert Benchley said, "Nothing is more responsible for the good old days
than a bad memory." Probably... On with the show, this is it...
*******************************************************
From
GCFL: Top 10 Things Dad Will Never Say
To all
the Fathers out there: Happy Father's Day!!!
10.
Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for
directions.
9. You
know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned
car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I
noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.
7. Here's
a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!
6. What
do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for
you, son?
5. Your
Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider
throwing a party.
4. Well,
I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey
thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to
a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No
son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit
your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya
wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. Here's
$100.
1. What
do I want for Father's day? Aahh -- don't worry about that. It's
no big deal. (Okay, he might say it, but he doesn't mean it!)
*******************************************************
From
KLEEN LAFFS: Kids "FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT"
In the
first book of the Bible, Guinessis, the Lord got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam
& Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's
wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah
built the ark and the animals came on in pears.
Lot's
wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The
Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic
Genitals.
Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The
Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The
Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses
died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the
Battle of Geritol.
Solomon,
one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to LBS: Poem
When
an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee,
Scotland, it was felt that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when
the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem.
Its
quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and one
nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity
has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the
North Ireland Association. A slide presentation has also been made based
on her simple, but eloquent, poem...And this little old Scottish lady,
with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous"
poem winging across the Internet. Goes to show that we all leave "SOME
footprints in time".....
An Old
Lady's Poem
What
do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What
are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby
old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain
of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who
dribbles her food and makes no reply
When
you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who
seems not to notice the things that you do,
And
forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who,
resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With
bathing and feeding, the long day to fill...
Is that
what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then
open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll
tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I
do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm
a small child of ten ...with a father and mother,
Brothers
and sisters, who love one another.
A young
girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming
that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride
soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering
the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five
now, I have young of my own,
Who
need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman
of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound
to each other with ties that should last.
At forty,
my young sons have grown and are gone,
But
my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty
once more, babies play round my knee,
Again
we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark
days are upon me, my husband is dead; I look
at the
future, I shudder with dread.
For
my young are all rearing young of their own,
And
I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm
now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;
'Tis
jest to make old age look like a fool.
The
body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There
is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But
inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And
now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember
the joys, I remember the pain,
And
I'm loving and living life over again.
I think
of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,
And
accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open
your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not
a crabby old woman; look closer ... see ME!!
..Remember
this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without
looking at the young soul within ...... We will one day be...
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
A. Minnesota; B. Louisana; C. Georgia; D. South Dakota; E. South Carolina;
F. Arkansas -- OK, I made the last one up.
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Monday June 18, 2001!
SPECIAL
NOTE: The list continues to grow! Thanks for all the material,
I really appreciate it. If any of you have something you would like
to share with the list, please feel free to send it to me. I appreciate
your patience with the errors (spelling, typos, etc.) that come with the
list, most of which are due to my haste in preparing the material. Have
a nice Monday. Tim
BIRTHDAYS:
Bandleader Kay Kyser, 1906; Sammy Cahn, 1913; Sylvia Porter, 1913; E.G.Marshall,
1910; journalist Tom Wicker, 1926; Roger Ebert, 1942; Paul McCartney, 1942;
Carol Kane, 1952; Isabella Rosselini, 1952.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1798 Robert Goodloe Harper said, "Millions for defense, but not
a cent for tribute."
On this
date in 1815 the British defeated the French in the Battle of Waterloo.
You might say Napoleon had a beef with Wellington and wound up in the water
"loo"...
On this
date in 1873 Suffragist Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the 1872 U.S. Presidential Election.
On this
date in 1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic
Ocean.
On this
date in 1977 the U.S. Space Shuttle ENTERPRISE carried a crew aloft for
the first time.
On this
date in 1983 Sally K. Ride became America's first woman in space as she
and four other astronauts blasted off aboard the U.S. Space Shuttle CHALLENGER.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: The newspaper in Popeye's hometown of Sweethaven is called
the "Sweethaven Daily Poop"... Howdy Doody's sister was named Heide Doody...
Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's, named the fast food restaurant after
his daughter.
TRIVIA:
What 2 teams in major league baseball were once known as the Washington
Senators?
Here is some good and practical advice for a Monday from Fred Stoller:
"Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not just use the dollar as
a bookmark?" On to the real stuff....
*******************************************************
Thanks
to PW:
An assistant
preacher is getting sick and tired of problems in the church. Feigning
a stomach ache, he informs that church's preacher that he'll be taking
a day off from his responsibilities. He hops in his car, steps on
the gas and blasts off to a golf course forty miles away. He smiles
as he hits the links.
Saint
Peter looks at God and says, "I think this one needs to be taken care of."
God nods, and the assistant preacher drives the ball down the fairway,
for a 420 yard hole-in-one! Saint Peter is astonished. "Why did you
do that?" he asks. God raises his eyebrow. "Who's he gonna
tell?"
*******************************************************
Thanks to a friend: WHAT IS A DAD!
Sonora
Dodd, of Washington, first had the idea of a "father's day." She thought
of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in
1909.
Sonora
wanted a special day to honour her father, William Smart. Smart, who was
a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth
to their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other
five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state.
After
Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown
in raising his children as a single parent. It was her father that made
all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous,
selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose
to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the
19th of June, 1910.
President
Calvin Coolidge, in 1924, supported the idea of a national Father's Day.
Then in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation
declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.
WHAT
IS A DAD?
A dad
is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you
up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. A dad is someone who wants
to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. A dad is someone
who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines
with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail...
Dad, you're everything a dad should be and some. By Susan Ceylise
*******************************************************
Thanks to WW750: If Noah had to build the ark today
The Lord
spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until
the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.
But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on
the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash
of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.
"OK,"
Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your
man."
Six
months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in
torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard,
weeping, and there was no ark. "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is My ark?"
A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Lord,
please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big
problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction,
but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer
to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether
to include a sprinkler system.
"My
neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by
building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the
city planning board.
Then,
I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was
a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince
the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed
the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.
"Next,
I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group
that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.
"Just
when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete
the ark without filling out an environmental impact statement on Your proposed
flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction
over the Supreme Being.
Then,
the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I
sent them a globe!
"Right
now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities
Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire.
The
IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country,
and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax.
Really,
I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."
With
that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across
the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to
destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.
“No,"
said the Lord. "The government already has."
*******************************************************
ANSWER: The Minnesota Twins and the Texas Rangers -- The Twins moved to Minnesota from Washington, D.C. in 1961. The newly created Washington Senators left in 1972 and moved to Arlington, Texas.
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Tuesday June 19, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:
Mathematician Blaise Pascal, 1623; Lou Gehrig, 1903; Alan Cranston, 1914;
Abe Fortas, 1919; Gena Rowlands, 1936; Salmon Rushdie, 1947; Phylicia Rashad,
1948; Kathleen Turner, 1954; Paula Abdul, 1962.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1885 the Statue of Liberty arrived in the United States.
On this
date in 1896 Besie Wallis Warfield was born.
On this
date in 1910, inspired by YMCA worker Mrs. John Dodd, the United States
celebrated the first Father's Day, three years after Mother's Day was first
celebrated.
On this
date in 1917 the royal British family adopted the name Windsor.
On this
date in 1934 the Federal Communications Commission was created.
On this
date in 1984 Michael Jordan was signed to the Chicago Bulls.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: On June 19, 1978 "Bud" was the first tropical storm to be
named after a male... The average winter temperature in Iceland is warmer
than in Chicago... The energy it takes to melt a small iceberg could power
a ship across the Atlantic about one hundred times.
TRIVIA:
What comic strip character made his first appearance on June 19, 1978?
Larry Reeb raised a good point -- "They say the dog is man's best friend.
I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?"
Food for thought, I guess. Have a nice Tuesday!
*******************************************************
Thanks
to JLLH: A BETTER OFFER
During
the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the preacher with an unusual
offer.
"Look,
I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get
to me and the part where I'm to promise to "love, honor and cherish" and
"forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever," I'd appreciate it if
you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill
and walked away satisfied.
It is
now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that
part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes
time for the groom's vows, the preacher looks the young man in the eye
and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her
every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your
life and vow eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not
ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The
groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The
groom leaned toward the preacher and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The
preacher put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back: "She made
me a much better offer."
From
day to day, we receive many offers from Satan (we call them "temptations").
Sometimes we're offered financial reward, sometimes pleasure or self-gratification.
And the offer may seem appealing unless we realize that God has made us
a much better offer.
"Be
faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life....He who overcomes
shall not be hurt by the second death." (Revelation 2:10b-11).
If temptation
makes you an offer today, I recommend you hold out for a better offer from
God.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to LBS: "Running Red"
Got
a notebook handy? Here's a neat way to make money if you're a local government.
First, charge people for breaking the law. Second, make it next to impossible
to avoid breaking that law.
That's
what's happening with traffic lights around the country. Used to be that
the yellow light -- the one that means "slow down unless you're already
crossing the intersection anyway" -- lasted for about five seconds. But
in 1985 that began to change, with the span of the yellow light often being
snipped to just 3 seconds or so.
This
trend accelerated as cameras began to be used more and more often to catch
naughty drivers. These cameras are posted at intersections and snap instant
mug shots of any driver who happens to cross a red light. The driver is
then fined automatically.
Well,
it seems that local governments have figured out that the fewer seconds
the yellow light is allowed to shine, the more likely it is that people
will run the red light. Which in turn increases the number of automatic
fines you can collect. So over the years, more and more municipalities
have been truncating the yellow light cycle. Critics claim they are doing
so intentionally, to boost revenue.
The
additional revenue can run into the millions. And that sure helps fund
municipal budgets.
Just
one problem: Making intersections more dangerous in order to get more revenue
defeats the whole purpose of traffic rules. Governments shouldn't be rigging
things so drivers run red lights, just so the bureaucrats can avoid red
ink. This is Common Sense. I'm Paul Jacob.
*******************************************************
From
Clarance Johnson bulletin, The SUSQUEHANNA SENTINEL. To subscribe
free of charge, please write to [email protected]
I AM
MOST THANKFUL FOR...
When
I was much younger, I was most thankful for my pretty red convertible,
my good job, and my health. Over the years, however, I've seen the pretty
red convertible get old and break down, several jobs come and go, and have
had to pay much more attention to maintaining my health.
I am
most thankful now for the things which endure. I am first thankful for
God who loved me before I ever knew Him, and His Son whose actions have
taught me what true love does. On this earth, I treasure most my relationships
with people. To love and to be loved is truly one of life's great treasures.
I am
thankful for Johnnie Williams, the elderly former deacon of the black Mt.
Olive Baptist church. He left his family, his sectarian tradition, and
crossed a broad and rigid color line because of his conviction of the truth,
when he obeyed the gospel. He became, as it were, a man without a country
in that small desert town. That was seven years ago. Johnnie is 75, has
Alzheimer's, doesn't always recognize me, and often forgets. Two weeks
ago somebody tried to kill him by setting his apartment on fire with him
in it. He escaped with his life, his faith, and nothing more.
I was
thinking of Johnnie tonight when I led the song "What a Friend We Have
In Jesus". That's Johnnie's favorite hymn. I remember him confiding in
me during the week following his baptism, confessing how frightened he
had become of his own people because he had gone over to "the white man's
church". I remember how frightened he was that first time he attended the
services of the Lord's Church, not knowing what kind of reception he would
find. I will never forget how courageously he stood before that congregation
during his first monthly singing with us and led that song. None of us
had ever heard it sung the way Johnnie led it that night. He did it with
soul -- from the very core. It was the most beautiful hymn I had ever heard.
I'm
so thankful for the favor of sharing the gospel with such a noble soldier
of the cross. He has taught me so much more than I can tell. Tonight, when
you go to God on behalf of all those near to you, please save a moment
or two to remember your brother Johnnie Williams of Brawley CA. He is worthy.
I thank God for him. --Douglas R. Clevenger
*******************************************************
ANSWER: Jim Davis' "Garfield" purred his way into our hearts.
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Wednesday June 20, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:
Errol Flynn, 1909; Chet Atkins, 1924; Audie Murphy, 1924; Danny Aiello,
1933; Brian Wilson, 1942; Anne Murray, 1945; Lionel Richie, 1949; John
Goodman, 1952.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1756 over one hundred British prisoners suffocated at the Black
Hole of Calcutta. One hundred forty-six British soldiers were placed
in a tiny dungeon that was so crowded only twenty-three survived the night.
The governor of Bengal, Narwab Suraj ad Dawlah, had ordered his army to
overtake the East India Company's garrison in Calcutta to protest Great
Britain's expansion into India.
On this
date in 1782 The Great Seal of the United States was adopted by Congress.
On this
date in 1837 Victoria became Queen of England.
On this
date in 1863 the National Bank of Philadelphia was the first bank chartered
by Congress.
On this
date in 1893 Lizzie Borden was acquitted in the murder trial of her parents.
Perhaps you recall the little ditty that became popular (again) when Elizabeth
Montgomery played Lizzie a few years ago on TV: "Lizzie Borden took
an ax./ Gave her mother forty whacks./ When she saw what she had
done./ She gave her father forty-one."
In 1895
Caroline Baldwin became the first woman to earn a doctor of science degree,
at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York.
On this
date in 1993 the Chicago Bulls became the first team to win three successive
NBA championships in twenty-seven years.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: Ida May Fuller of Vermont was the first person to receive
a Social Securit check. She got it in 1940 and lived to be over 100,
eventually collecting more than $20,000... Princess Margaret's divorce
from Lord Snowdown in May of 1978 took all of 53 seconds to finalize and
cost a total of $29... Judy Rankin was the first professional female golfer
to earn more than $100,000 in a single season.
TRIVIA:
Who is the only person to appear on "TV Guide's" cover three weeks in a
row?
Errol Flynn, birthday-boy, said, "My problem lies in reconciling my gross
habits with my net income." Many have that trouble... On with the
real material!
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Thanks
to a friend for an old favorite:
A family
altar can alter a family.
A lot
of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
Don't
wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Exercise
daily. Walk with the Lord!
Forbidden
fruits create many jams.
Give
God what's right, not what's left!
Give
Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.
God
grades on the cross, not the curve.
God
loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious
nuts"!
God
promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Having
truth decay? Brush up on your Bible!
He who
angers you, controls you!
He who
is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He who
kneels before God can stand before anyone!
Kindness
is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
Most
people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
Never
give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!
Nothing
ruins the truth like stretching it.
Prayer
- Don't give God instructions - just report for duty!
The
Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect
you.
To be
almost saved is to be totally lost.
Watch
your step carefully! Everyone else does!
We don't
change the message, the message changes us.
Worry
is the darkroom in which "negatives" are developed.
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Here's
one from a real poet! Thanks to LBS:
ONLY
A HUMAN
I was
only a human being-----
Nothing
special about me at all,
Except
one thing stands out in my life-----
I heard
the Savior’s loving call.
He didn’t
speak to me directly;
From
His written word it came.
The
first thing His word said to me
Was
to believe in His holy name.
Believe
that He is the son of God,
That
He is Lord of lords and King of kings.
Then
it said to repent of my sins----
A complete
change of life repentance brings.
Then
it said that I’m to confess Him;
To glorify
His name among men.
Then
it told me to be immersed
To wash
away my ev’ry sin.
But
then it said, “That isn’t all”.
That
I must live my life dedicated to Him.
That
my light must shine for others to see;
And
never to allow the flame to grow dim.
It told
me if I’d obey His ev’ry command,
It would
tell the world of my love;
Then,
when I depart this wayfaring land,
I’ll
live with Him in heaven above.
(Now
I’m special, a child of God)
By L. B. Strawn
June 8, 2001
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Thanks
to JLLH: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.....
A young
man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one
afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could
get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to
tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany
the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no,
he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man
played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently
and didn't waste much time.
Finally,
they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough
shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and
directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of
debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when
I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With
that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball
up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the
ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The
old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that
pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
There
are a lot of things that we could do when we were younger that, for whatever
reason, we may not be able to do now. But then again, there are some
things we can do now that we couldn't do when we were younger.
"The
glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their
gray head." (Proverbs 20:29).
Those
who are younger should use their strength and enthusiasm to serve God,
while those who are older should make use of their experience and wisdom.
Together, what a great team they make!
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From
a friend: The Flight...
Terri
asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible
stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's
picture,
which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it
was meant to represent.
"The
flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see
... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,"
Ms.
Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh,
that's Pontius-the Pilot.
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ANSWER:
Michael Landon, 1991.
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