BIRTHDAYS:
Theda Bara, 1890; Sir Edmund Hillary, 1919; Chuck Daly, 1933; Nelson Doubleday,
1933; Sally Ann Howes, 1934; Diana Rigg, 1938; Kim Carnes, 1946; Carlos
Santana, 1947.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1810 Columbia declared its independence from Spain.
On this
date in 1859 the fans were charged admission for the first time to watch
Brooklyn play New York -- the ticket price was $0.50.
On this
date in 1871 the province of British Columbia entered into the confederation
of Canada.
On this
date in 1881 Sitting Bull surrendered to federal troops at Fort Buford
in the Dakota Territory.
On this
date in 1944 President Franklin Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented
fourth term at the Democrat Convention.
On this
date in 1964 NASA tested the first successful rock engine.
On this
date in 1969 the lunar module from Apollo XI landed on the moon.
Astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set out on their first lunar
walk after eating man's first meal on the moon -- four bacon squares, three
sugar cookies, peaches, pineapple-grapefruit drink, and coffee.
On this
date in 1976 Viking I landed on Mars.
On this
date in 1985 a diving expedition off the coast of Florida located the remains
of the Spanish galleon Nuestra Senora de Atocha, sunk in a hurricane in
1622. The expedition recovered $400 million in gold, silver, and
copper treasure.
On this
date in 1987 Wilma Mankiller became the first woman elected chief of the
Cherokee Nation.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: The oldest subway in the world went into service in 1863 in
London... Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is the only American whose bust is
in Westminster Abbey... It doesn't matter what the birth certificate says
in England; all royal birthdays are celebrated in June.
TRIVIA:
I celebrate my birthday today. Originally from New Zealand, I became
world famous as a mountain climber who was the first to reach the summit
of Mt. Everest. Who am I?
Theodore Hook said, "The greater the fool the better the dancer."
We'll think about that one while looking at these.
*******************************************************
Thanks
for another great one from D.A.'s archives:
A small
boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to
empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother asked
the obvious question, "Where did you get all that money?"
"At
Sunday school," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have bowls of it."
*******************************************************
Thanks
to AB: "Thinking Big"
It's
tremendous to be learning that no matter how big you see things or how
simple you keep them you'll never reach the ultimate. No man has
ever seen things as big as they could have been or kept them as simple
as they might be. Sometimes we do well in one area at the expense of the
other--like the little boy on the corner with his flop-eared pup.
A salesman
passed the corner each day, and after a week he began to pity the boy who
was striving to sell his puppy. The salesman knew the boy didn't See It
Big. He stopped and said, "Son, do you really want to sell this dog?" The
boy replied, "I certainly do."
"Well
you're never going to sell him until you learn to See It Big. What
I mean is, take this dog home, clean him up, doll him up, raise your price,
make people think they're getting something big, and you'll sell him."
That
noon the salesman came by and there was the boy with a puppy that was groomed,
perfumed, and beribboned alongside a big sign:
TREEMENNDOUS
Puppy For Sale--$5,000.
The
salesman gulped and realized he had forgotten to tell the boy about Keeping
It Simple. That evening he stopped by to tell the boy the other half of
the formula, only to discover that the boy was gone, the puppy was gone
and the sign lay there with "SOLD" written across it in big letters.
The
salesman couldn't believe it. This kid couldn't have sold the dog for $5,000.
His curiosity got the best of him and he rang the boy's doorbell. The boy
came to the door and the salesman blurted, "Son you didn't really sell
that dog for $5,000 now, did you?"
The
boy replied, "Yes, sir, I did and I want to thank you for all your help."
The
salesman said, "How in the world did you do it?"
The
boy replied, "Oh, it was easy. I just took two $2,500 cats in exchange!"
Charles
E. "Tremendous" Jones, Life Is Tremendous
--James
S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers,
Inc, 1988) pp. 27-28.
*******************************************************
Thanks
to AB: The Bush Tax Cut -- Is it fair???
If you
think the Bush tax cut plan is unfair, read this rebuttal that appeared
in the Sunday, March 4 Chicago Tribune. By the way, the ratios are roughly
accurate; 10% of the taxpayers pay about 60% of the taxes collected, 30%
pay 37%, and 60% collectively pay only 4%.
Every
night, 10 men met at a restaurant for dinner. At the end of the meal, the
bill would arrive; they owed $100 for the food that they shared.
Every night they lined up in the same order at the cash register to pay
the bill. The first four men paid nothing at all. The fifth, grumbling
about the unfairness of the situation, paid $1. The sixth man, feeling
a little put out, paid $3. The next three men paid $7, $12 and $18, respectively.
The last man was required to pay the remaining balance, $59; he realized
he was paying for not only his own meal but the unpaid balance left by
the first nine men.
The
10 men were quite settled into their routine when the restaurant threw
them into chaos by announcing that it was cutting its prices. Now dinner
for the 10 men would only cost $80. This clearly would not affect
the first four men; they still ate for free. The fifth man announced he
would now pay nothing either. The sixth man lowered his contribution by
1/3, and paid only $2. The seventh man deducted $2 from his usual payment
and paid only $5. The eighth man paid $9 instead of his usual $12. The
ninth man paid $12, $6 less than before. This left the last man with a
bill of $52.
Outside
of the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings, and angry outbursts
began to erupt.
The
sixth man yelled: "I got only $1 out of the $20 in cost reduction, and
he got $7," pointing at the last man. The fifth man joined in: "Yeah! I
only saved $1 too. It is unfair that he got seven times more than me."
The seventh man cried, "Why should he get a reduction of $7 when I only
got $2?"
The
nine men formed an outraged mob, (this is where the Democratic Party aggravates
everyone about the unfairness) surrounding the 10th man. The first four
men followed the lead of the others: "Even though we weren't paying anything
in the first place, we didn't get any of the $20 reduction in cost; where
is our share?"
The
nine angry men then carried the 10th man up to the top of a hill and lynched
him. The next night, the nine remaining men met at the restaurant for dinner.
But when the bill came, there was no one to pay it.
*******************************************************
From
D.A.'s archives: Another Train
So,
theres this girl standing on the rail road tracks jumping up and down saying,
22, 22, 22, 22, 22..... and a blonde girl walked up and starred at her
for a minute and a half. Then she got on the tracks behind the girl starts
jumping up and down to the same beat as the brunette, saying 22, 22, 22,
22,..........
A train
starts rapidly approaching, and the brunette gets off the tracks, but the
blonde continues on jumping. The train comes and runs her over, and kills
her, then the brunette gets back on the tracks and starts jumping again
saying 23, 23, 23, 23...
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
Sir Edmund Hillary
*******************************************************
Good
Morning: It's Saturday July 21, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:
Paul Reuter, 1816; Ernest Hemingway, 1899; Marshall McLuhan, 1911; Isaac
Stern, 1920; Don Knotts, 1924; Norman Jewison, 1926; Robin Williams, 1952.
THIS
DAY IN HISTORY:
On this
date in 1834 the Liberty Bell was muffled to toll the death of the Marquis
de Lafayette.
On this
date in 1861 the Confederate Army won the Battle of Bull Run near Manassas,
Virginia. It was here that confederate general Thomas J. Jackson
picked up a nickname that would outlive him -- Stonewall.
On this
date in 1873 Jesse James committed the world's first train robbery near
Council Bluffs, Iowa.
On this
date in 1921 over Navy objections, Army Air Service General Billy Mitchell
bombed a captured German battleship, the Ostfriesland, at Hampton Roads,
Virginia, and became the first person to sink a ship from the air.
The controversial general's demonstration to prove the effectiveness of
air power was part of a crusade that eventually led to his demotion and
court-martial.
On this
date in 1925 the Monkey Trial ended with John Scopes being fined $100 for
teaching the theory of evolution.
On this
date in 1930 the U.S. Veterans Administration was established.
On this
date in 1959 the United States launched the SAVANNAH, the first nuclear
powered merchant ship. Please note -- there is but one "u" in nuclear.
On this
date in 1961 U.S. astronaut Virgil Grissom became the second American in
space. His flight lasted 16 minutes.
MEANINGLESS
FACTS: Ernest Hemingway rewrote the last page of "A Farewell to Arms"
39 times... Horatio Alger is a most prolific author with tpublication of
119 full length novels in 30 years... In the James Bond novels by Ian Fleming,
the Bond family's motto was "The World Is Not Enough."
TRIVIA:
Besides deep water, what additional deterrent did medieval moats offer
against those invaders who wanted to storm the castle?
John Mendoza said, "Have you ever wondered if illiterate people get the
full effect of alphabet soup?" While we ponder that, let's read these...
*******************************************************
Thanks
to a friend: The Walk of Life (Author Unknown)
I had
walked lifes way with an easy tread.
Had
followed where pleasure and comfort led.
Until
one day in a quiet place,
I met
the Master face to face.
With
station and rank and wealth for my goal;
Much
thought for my body and none for my soul.
I had
entered to win in life's mad race,
When
I met the Master face to face.
I met
Him and knew Him and blushed to see,
That
His eyes, full of sorrow, were fixed on me.
and
I faltered and fell at His feet that day,
While
my castles melted and vanished away.
Melted
and vanished and in their place,
Naught
else did I see but the Master's face.
And
I cried aloud "Oh, make me meek,
To follow
the steps of Thy wounded feet."
My thoughts
are now for the souls of men.
I have
lost my life to find it again.
Ever
since that day in a quiet place,
I met
the Master face to face!
*******************************************************
Thanks
to D.A. for another great one from his archives:
Old
Lamp
There
once was this guy that got a dirty old lamp for his birthday. He cleaned
it up and POOF!--out popped a genie!
"I shall
give you three wishes. You may have anything you like."
So the
guys thinks for a minute and says, "I would like a billion dollars."
"You
shall have it," and the genie grants him the wish. "Anything else?"
The
guy thinks for a while. "I would like a VW Bug with A/C, power locks, power
windows, you know the works."
"Your
wish is my command. What is your last wish?"
"Hmmm.
I think I'll save it for a rainy day."
"OK,
suit yourself," says the genie.
So the
guy gets in his new VW and goes for a drive to show all his friends. He
turns on the radio. There's a very familiar commercial on. The guy starts
singing to it: "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
*******************************************************
From
a friend: The Christian's Declaration Of Independence
I am
free from failure for I can do all things through Christ who strengthens
me (Philippians 4:13).
I am
free from want for my God shall supply all my need according to His riches
in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
I am
free from fear for God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
I am
free from doubt for God has dealt to every man the measure of faith (Romans
12:3).
I am
free from weakness because the LORD is the strength of my life, so of whom
shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1).
I am
free from the power of Satan because greater is He that is in you, than
he that is in the world (1 John 4:4).
I am
free from defeat because God gives us triumph in Christ (2 Corinthians
2:14).
I am
free from ignorance because Christ Jesus became for us wisdom from God
(1 Corinthians 1:30 ).
I am
free from sin for the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses me from all sin (1
John 1:7).
I am
free from worry because I can cast all my cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7).
I am
free from bondage for where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty
(2 Corinthians 3:17).
I am
free from condemnation, for there is therefore now no condemnation to them
which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the
Spirit (Romans 8:1). --Author Unknown
*******************************************************
Thanks
to D.A.: Push
A man
is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls
over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.
"I'm
not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.
Then,
a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and
there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to
realize the man was drunk.
"Hi
there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"
"No,
get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams
the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she
says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down
in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter
and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would
have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"
"But
the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It
doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the
Christian thing to help him."
So the
husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens
the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey,
do you still want a push??"
And
he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So,
still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
The
drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."
*******************************************************
ANSWER:
The moat also served as a sewer.
*******************************************************