Thanks to JLH:  WIDER

Four-year-old Scott was spending the afternoon on his grandfather's farm. He coaxed Grandpa into letting him ride on the tractor while plowing. After several hours of plowing, the hot sun brought them up to the house for a drink.

"What are you doing down in the field, Scott?"  Grandma asked.
Scott replied, "I don't know whether we're taking the dirt out, or putting it back, but we're making it wider."

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Thanks to JLH:  FIRST ACCOUNT

Her mother decided that 10-year-old Susie should get something practical for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" she suggested. Susie was delighted. "It's your account, darling," Susie's mother said as they entered at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Susie was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank". With just a slight hesitation, she put down: "Piggy."

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A good preacher-story from PW:

Several years ago a preacher moved to Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change.
As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the quarter back.  It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from God and keep quiet."

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you are. You gave me too much change." The driver with a smile, replied, "Aren't you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking lately about going to worship somewhere. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change."

When my friend stepped off the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, and held on, and said, "Heavenly Father, I almost sold your Son for a quarter."
Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read.

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Thanks to L.S. Summer of 1900

What a Difference a Century Makes.  In the summer of 1900... The average life expectancy in the United States was 47. Only 14% of the homes in the United States had a bathtub. Only 8% of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.
There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads. The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populated state in the Union. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower. The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour. The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year. More than 95% of all births in the United States took place at home. 90% of all US physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard." Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound. Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. The five leading causes of death in the US were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza; 2. TB; 3. Diarrhea; 4. Heart disease; 5. Stroke. The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families. Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented. There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day. One in 10 US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school. Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine's foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish sexual desire, into the women's drinking water. Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." 18% of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic. There were about 230 reported murders in the US annually.
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ANSWER:  Dwarf, Dwell, Dwindle.
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Good Morning:  It's Saturday July 28, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  Esther Forbes, 1891; Rudy Vallee, 1901; Jacques Piccard, 1922; Jackie Kennedy Onassis, 1929; Darryl Hickman, 1931; Bill Bradley, 1943; Linda Kelsey, 1946; Sally Struthers, 1948; Terry Fox, 1958; John Elway, 1960.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1778 Mary Ludwig Hays, better known as Molly Pitcher, took her wounded husband's place at a cannon at the Revolutionary War battle of Monmouth, N.J.
On this date in 1859 the first dog show was held in New Castle, England.
On this date in 1868 the Fourteenth Amendment was ratified.  It extended the federal guarantee of due process to govern state as well as federal matters.  It was an extension of Constitutional supremacy; and a forerunner of the further protection of civil rights.  It took another century to move from this amendment to the civil rights legislation of the 1960's, but it was an historic step.
On this date in 1894 Congress made Labor Day a holiday for federal employees and the District of Columbia and established its date as the first Monday in September.
On this date in 1904 Helen Keller graduated with honors from Radcliffe College.
On this date in 1914 the First World War began when Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia.  Archduke Francis Ferdinand, heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, was assassinated by a Serbian nationalist in Sarajevo.
On this date in 1919 the treaty of Versailles was signed, officially ending WWI.
On this date in 1933 the very first singing telegram was delivered, wishing a happy birthday to Rudy Vallee.
On this date in 1938 Pennsylvania began selling hard-boiled eggs from slot machines throughout the state to help end an egg surplus.
On this date in 1945 (the year, by the way, that my mother, my father, and Bobby Roney were born), a U.S. Bomber crashed into the Empire State Building.
On this date in 1990 the TV show "Reading Rainbow" received an Emmy for the best children's series.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The Rolling Stones got their name from "Rolling Stone Blues" by Muddy Waters... There are 66 acceptable two-letter words in Scrabble... When you breathe, the speed of your exhaled air is about 15 mph.
TRIVIA:  What happens to your Social Security number when you die?
     The former first lady once said, "The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady.  It sounds like a saddle horse" (Jacqueline Kennedy).
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From a friend:  You Are Blessed, IF
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ...you are more  blessed than three billion people in the world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace...you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful....you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore... you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
(Author Unknown)
Have a great day, count your blessings and share this to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
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Thanks to a friend:  TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. Personally I find teaching others about Christ much more enjoyable than golf.
7. I've decided to contribute the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
5. Forget the minimum salary, let's pay our preacher so he can live like we do.
4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
2. Preacher, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like a good old-fashioned sermon on giving!
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From a friend:
An American missionary was doing a good work in Australia.  One day his wife was sick.  One of the Australians asked him how wife was.  The American answered "She was under the weather but she was perking up."
The Australians were upset.  It seems that the Missionary said that she was drunk and she was vomiting.
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From a friend:  Fish Story
A man was recently stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota.  The fellow, carrying two buckets of fish, was leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish? If you don't, I'm going to have to impound them as evidence."
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!." The game warden was curious now. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" The game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" The man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" The man asked . . .
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Thanks to MAK:  Seeing Eye Dog
I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in 30 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"
Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."
Picture this ... all the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses! People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, they also were trying to change airlines!
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ANSWER:  The numbers are retired, naturally.  The nine digit combination gives them about one billion to choose from, so unless we extend benefits to the rest of the world, we have plenty of numbers left... at least for now.
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Good Morning:  It's Sunday July 29, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  Booth Tarkington, 1869; Benito Mussolini, 1883; William Powell, 1892; Dag Hammarksjold, 1905; Melvin Belli, 1907; Nancy Kassebaum, 1932; Peter Jennings, 1938; Marilyn Tucker Quayle, 1949; Patty Scialfa, 1956; Michael Spinks, 1956.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1588, thanks to the indomitable spirit of Sir Francis Drake, the British fleet under his command, and inclement weather, the Spanish Armada was totally routed and Great Britain saved from destruction.
On this date in 1620 Parliament prohibited the growing of tobacco in England.
On this date in 1776 the Virginia state constitution was adopted, and Patrick Henry was made governor.
On this date in 1880 a young Englishwoman completed a 1,000 mile walk in 1,000 hours.
On this date in 1906 Congress established Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado.
On this date in 1956 Charles Dumas became the first person to clear 7 feet in the high jump.
On this date in 1958 NASA was founded.
On this date in 1981 Prince Charles and Lady Di were wed.
On this date in 1985 Bob Brown of Boston set the Yo-Yo- endurance record at 121 hours 10 minutes.
On this date in 1987 scientists from the New England Aquarium released three pilot whales after nursing them back to health.
On this date in 1990 the Chicago White Sox played their last game at the old Comiskey Park.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The Empire State Building has 10 million bricks and 6,400 windows... The 110 story Sears Tower, served by 18 elevators, is the world's tallest building with a total height of 1,707 feet... The Statue of Liberty is approximately 20 times life size.
TRIVIA:  What was the original purpose of the tower on the Empire State Building?
     "They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work." (Casey Stengel)  What more is there to say???
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Thanks to JLH:  Here's the next installment of 367 Reasons You Might Be a Redneck
 
61. You pick your teeth from a catalog.
62. You've ever financed a tattoo.
63. You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
64. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
65. Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
66. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
67. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
68. The best way to keep things cold is to leave 'em in the shade.
69. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
70. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
71. Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
72. You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
73. You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
74. Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
75. You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
76. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
77. None of your shirts cover your stomach.
78. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. (Lee Ann says this one is inappropriate...)
79. The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
80. You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
81. You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
82. You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
83. Birds are attracted to your beard.
84. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words
"Trucking Institute."
85. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
86. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
87. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
88. Bikers back down from your momma.
89. You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
90. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
91. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
92. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
93. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
94. You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
95. Edited out
96. You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
97. You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
98. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
99. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
100. You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
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Thanks to JP:  The Lord is my Shepherd
 
That's a relationship!
I shall not want
That's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
That's rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters
That's refreshment!
He restoreth my soul
That's healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
That's guidance!
For His name sake
That's purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
That's testing!
I will fear no evil
That's protection!
For thou art with me
That's faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me
That's discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
That's hope!
Thou annointest my head with oil
That's consecration!
My cup runneth over
That's abudance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in house of the Lord
That's Security!
Forever
That's eternity!
 
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From a friend:  What's Your Southern Sign?
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here.  You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea.  It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.
CONTINUED TOMORROW
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ANSWER:  It was designed for the docking of dirigibles.
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Good Morning:  It's Monday July 30, 2001
BIRTHDAYS:  Emily Bronte, 1818; Henry Ford, 1863; Casey Stengel, 1891; Edd Byrnes, 1933; Peter Bogdanovich, 1939; Paul Anka, 1941; Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1947; Anita Hill, 1956; Bill Cartwright, 1957.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1619 the first legislative assembly held in America met in Jamestown, Virginia.  It enacted laws against drunkenness, idleness, and gambling.
On this date in 1729 Baltimore Town (later known as Baltimore) was founded by the Maryland colonial government.
On this date in 1779 General "Mad Anthony" Wayne earns his nickname as he leads his 1,200-man light infantry in a surprise midnight attack on the British fort at Stony Point on the west bank of New York's Hudson River.  While one detachment fires noisily to divert the Redcoat's attention, two silent columns of Colonial soldiers, their empty muskets armed with bayonets, swarm over the parapets and seize control of the fort.
On this date in 1909 the United States bought its first airplane for $31,250.
On this date in 1919 Missouri farmer Fred Hoenemann got a temporary injunction prohibiting pilots from flying over his farm.
On this date in 1928 the MGM lion roared for the first time.  The famous film production company had added sound to its roster of special effects, so as a way of launching the world's first "talkie" they let their lion introduce the feature attraction.  The company continues to announce its motion picture films and television programs in the same manner today.
On this date in 1942 President Franklin Roosevelt signed a bill creating the navy WAVES (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service).
On this date in 1952 the Chesapeake Bay Bridge -- 3rd longest in the world -- opened.
On this date in 1956 Congress adopted the motto, "In God We Trust."
On this date in 1971 Apollo 15 Astronauts landed on the moon.  Their mission included deploying a jeeplike vehicle called a Lunar Rover, which enabled them to explore much more of the moon's surface.
On this date in 1975 James R. Hoffa was last seen outside a restaurant in Michigan.  Seven years and 131 days later, on December 8, 1982, Hoffa was declared "legally dead".
On this date in 1991 the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty was signed by U.S. President George Bush and Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev.  The nuclear arms race didn't just come to a halt.  Both nations agreet to disarm and disband projects like Star Wars, Minutemen missiles, and other doomsday mechanisms.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  It was (and maybe still is) illegal to wear roller saktes in a Portland, Oregon restroom... Arizona had a statute making it illegal to hunt camels in that state... And in New York it is illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
TRIVIA: What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
     "How you lose or keep your hair depends on how wisely you choose your parents."  (Edward R. Nida)  I'll have to think on that one a while...
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Thanks to a friend:  Continued from yesterday -- What's Your Southern Sign?
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them.  Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies.  It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life.  Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself.  You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?  Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life.  On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends.  You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat  strange, mating  possibility.
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Thanks to AB:  Statistics on your health
Number of physicians in the US 700,000. Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year 120,000.  Accidental deaths per physician.... 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the US 80,000,000. Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500.
Accidental deaths per gun owner 0.0000188  Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.  "FACT:  Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one doctor."
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
As a Public Health Measure I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid.
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Thanks to LBS:  An Act of Kindness
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.  The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.  They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.  But, one thing puzzled me.  Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
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ANSWER:  Honey.
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Good Morning:  It's Tuesday July 31, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  Economist Milton Friedman, 1912; Irv Kupcinet, 1912; Curt Gowdy, 1919; Don Murray, 1929; Geraldine Chaplin, 1944; Evonne Goologong, 1951.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1498 Christopher Columbus first sighted Trinidad.
On this date in 1777 the Marquis de Lafayette was made a major-general in the American Continental Army.
On this date in 1790 the first American Patent was awarded to Samuel Hopkins for his method of making potash, a substance used in the manufacture of soap and glass.
On this date in 1792 the cornerstone for the U.S. Mint -- the first official building constructed by the U.S. Government -- was laid in Philadelphia.
On this date in 1800 Philadelphia shoemaker William Young introduced something new to America -- he started making different shoes for the left foot and the right foot.
On this date in 1845 the Saxophone was officially introduced to the military bands of the French Army.
On this date in 1912 the U.S. government prohibited movies and pictures of prize fights in an effort to reduce portrayals of violence in the media -- it eventually wore off.
On this date in 1922 18-year-old Ralph Samuelson rode the world's first water skis.
On this date in 1948 President Harry Truman dedicated New York International Airport at Idlewild, Queens.  (It later was renamed John F. Kennedy International Airport).
On this date in 1964, the U.S. space probe RANGER 7 transmitted 4,308 close-up photographs of the moon before crashing.  The photos showed a thousand times more detail than any previous view through telescopes on earth.
On this date in 1970 Chet Huntley said his last "Goodnight, David" on NBC.
On this date in 1971 the Apollo 15 astronauts drove a car on the moon.
On this date in 1981 MTV made its debut.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The Pieta was the only one of Michaelangelo's sculptures that he signed... Leonardo da Vinci had trouble finishing anything.  His interest would always wander to something else and he left a trail of partially completed works across Italy... James Whistler had to buy back his most famous painting, "Whistler's Mother", from a pawnshop after his mother passed away.
TRIVIA:  Which heart beats faster, an elephant's or a canary's?
     Mac McGinnis said, "Artificial hearts are nothing new.  Politicians have had them for years."  Sadly, that may be legitimate commentary as well as humor.
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Thanks to AB:  Southern Advice
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:
The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes, The South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy, The South has Jesse Helms.
The North has an ambulance, The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.
AND If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....  Don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Have a good day!
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Thanks to D.A. for another good one from his archives:  Outstanding In His Field
A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"
The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
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Thanks to LBS:
A young blonde lady had the windows in her house replaced with new double insulated energy efficient windows.
Twelve months later she gets a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year and she has yet to make the first payment.
The blonde replies, "Now don't try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves".
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Thanks to D.A. for another good one from his archives:
OFFICE SUPPLIES
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
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ANSWER:  The canary's beats at a much heartier rate -- 1,000 times a minute compatre to the 27 times per minute of an elephant's heart.
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