Happy Birthday to Enon member/List member LISA WHITE!!!

BIRTHDAYS:  Pottery designer Josiah Wedgewood, 1730; Henry David Thoreau, 1817; Oscar Hammerstein, 1895; Milton Berle, 1908; Andrew Wyeth, 1917; Mark Hatfield, 1922; Van Cliburn, 1934; Bill Cosby, 1938; Richard Simmons, 1948.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in c. 102 BC Julius Caesar was born.  He "built" the Roman empire, was its first monarch, and in all did many great things.  But in the end, he fell prey to the same lust for power that made his 'kingdom' -- he died at the hands of assassins, one of whom was his closest friend.

On this date in 1862 the Congressional Medal of Honor was created.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Edgar Allan Poe often wrote his works with cats seated on his shoulder... U.S. paper currency measures 6 1/8 by 2 9/16 inches... Each of your toes has three bones except for your big toe which has but two.

TRIVIA:  In an average lifetime, an American drinks about:  A. 2,000 gallons of water; B. 4,000 gallons of water; C. 6,000 gallons of water; D. 11,000 gallons of water; or, E. 120,000 gallons of water.

     Henry David Thoreau once said, "I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."  At times solitude is nice, but the company of a good friend can be just what the soul needs to be comforted or rejoice.  On with the real material...

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From Quickinspirations:  A Butterfly

A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God`s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If God allowed us to go throughall our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, we could never fly.

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Thanks to AB:  JesUs

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God even stuck U  in the name of His Son.
And each time U pray, you'll see it's true
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
 
You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U He was born; that's why He came.
His great love for us is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand.
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan.
The stones split away; the gold trUmpet blew
and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.
 
When JesUs left earth at his upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.
"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all--Just like I love U."

So many great people are spelled with a U.
Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?
It all depends now on what U will do.
He'd like them to know, but it all starts with U.

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Thanks to JLH:  The Shoes
 
My alarm went off -- it was Sunday again;
I was tired -- it was my one day to sleep in.
But the guilt I'd have felt the rest of the day
Would have been too much, so I'd go; I'd pray.
I showered and shaved, adjusted suit and tie,
Got there and swung into a pew just in time.
 
Bowing my head in humble prayer
Before I closed my eyes,
I saw that the shoe of the man next to me
Was touching my own and I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side, I thought,
"why do our soles have to touch?"
It bothered me so; he was glued to my shoe,
But it didn't seem to bother him much.
 
Then the prayer began: "Heavenly Father,"
someone said--
But I thought, "Does this man with the shoes
have no pride?"
They were dusty, worn, scratched end to end.
What's worse, there were holes on the side!
 
"Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer,
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.
 
Aren't we supposed to look our best when
walking through that door?
"Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.
 
Then the prayer ended and songs of praise began.
The shoe man was loud, sounding proud as he sang.
He lifted the rafters; his hands raised high;
The Lord surely heard his voice from the sky.
 
Then the offering was passed; what I threw in was steep.
The shoe man reached into his pockets, so deep,
And I tried to see what he pulled out to put in,
Then I heard a soft "clink," as when silver hits tin.
 
The sermon bored me to tears--And no lie--
It was the same for the shoe man,
For tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service, as is custom here,
We must greet the visitors and show them good cheer.
 
But I was moved inside to want to meet this man,
So after the closing, I shook his hand.
 
He was old, his skin dark, his hair a mess.
I thanked him for coming, for being our guest,
He said, "My name's Charlie, glad to meet you,
my friend,"
And there were tears in his eyes--but he had a wide grin.
 
"Let me explain," he said, wiping his eyes.
"I've been coming for months,
and you're the first to say, Hi.
 
I know I don't look like all the rest,
But I always try to look my best."
"I polish my shoes before my long walk,
But by the time I get here they're as dirty as chalk."
 
My heart fell to my knees, but I held back my tears,
He continued, "And I must apologize for sitting so near."
"But I know when I get here, I must look a sight.
And I thought . . if I touched you, our souls might unite."
 
I was silent for a moment knowing anything I
said would pale in comparison,
so I spoke from my heart not my head.
 
"Oh, you've touched me," I said.
"And taught me, in part,
That the best of a man is what's in his heart."
 
The rest, I thought, this man will never know. . .
How thankful I am that he touched my soul!
 
You might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next year,
don't want to talk at all the year after that.
 
So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and you have made a
difference in my life,
I respect you and truly cherish you
 
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ANSWER:  D. 11,000 gallons of water.
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Good Morning:  It's Friday July 13, 2001!

The change from listbot to my personal files is now complete.  No more Daily Humor lists will appear on the listbot server, nor will the Gradowith Poems be there anymore.  After more than a year the service decided to charge us money in addition to placing those ads (some of which were most objectionable) on the posts and that was just too much.  The list archives will be placed on my personal web page (link below).  Thanks for your patience!  Tim

http://www.geocities.com/gradowith/GradowithsHomepage.html

BIRTHDAYS:Dave Garroway, 1913; author David Storey, 1933; Jack Jemp, 1935; Robert Forster, 1941; Harrison Ford, 1942; Roger McGuinn, 1942; Erno Rubick, 1944; Spud Webb, 1963.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1787 the United States was still an infant nation governed by a loose code known as the Articles of Confederation.  That fact moved the fledgling government to pass The Northwest Ordinance, outlining how the territory north of the Ohio River should be governed and how those lands would evolve into states.

On this date in 1865 Horace Greeley wrote, in the New York Tribune, "Washington is not a place to live in.  The rents are high, the food is bad, the dust is disgusting and the morals are deplorable.  Go West, young man, and grow up with the country."

On this date in 1960 the Democrat Party nominated John F. Kennedy for president.

On this date in 1977 the second New York blackout paralyzed the city.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The first female cabinet member was Frances Perkins, appointed by FDR in 1933 as Secretary of Labor... Dogs are more likely to have a "nervous breakdown" than any other non-human animal... Morris the Cat, originally named Lucky, was the first animal to be featured on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous".

TRIVIA:  Do you remember the TV show starring Jackie Gleason?  The one called "The Honeymooners"?  Do you remember his wife's name?  Her first name was Alice, and her last name was Kramden, but what was her maiden name?  And, what was the name of the famous comedian who played the Kramden's landlord?

     John F. Kennedy said, "Too often we...enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."  There is a gem of truth to consider.  On to the professionally selected material (don't try this at home, and kids -- get your parents permission...)

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Thanks to JLH:  THE LIVING DEAD

The following two military stories are reported to be true:
A young lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.

Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, sir, what do we do?"

"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."

********************

During an Army war game a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

"Sorry sir," said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us  some traction."

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Thanks to JLH:  THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of baloney.
    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..
    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
    10. Ahhh...I see the mess-up fairy has visited us again...
    11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a hoot.
    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
    17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    23. And your crybaby whiny- opinion would be...?
    24. Do I look like a people person?
    25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
    27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
    34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
    37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

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Thanks again to JLH:  Friends Forever

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.
- Mother Theresa

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Here is a very nice "test" sent (via link) from Chaos.  Give it a try if you can:
http://www.mystcweb.net/Misc/Smart.htm

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ANSWER:  Before she met Ralph and embarked on her life of luxury, Alice's last name was Gibson.  Ralph had good reason to call the landlord stingy, he was played in one episode by Jack Benny.
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Good Morning:  It's Saturday July 14, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:Terry-Thomas, 1911; Woody Guthrie, 1912; Gerald Ford, 1913; Edward Douglass, 1917; Ingmar Bergman, 1918; Frances Lear, 1923; John Chancellor, 1927; Polly Bergen, 1930; Steve Stone, 1947; Missy Gold, 1970.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1789 French Revolutionaries stormed the Bastille.

On this date in 1881 Sheriff Pat Garrett shot and killed Billy the Kid.

On this date in 1921 Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti were convicted of manslaughter.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Gerald Ford was the only American president to have been a male model.  He modeled winter sports clothes for "Look" magazine in 1939... The only president to attend the Indy 500 was Gerald Ford in 1979... Ford was the only president to have been an Eagle Scout.

TRIVIA:  Did America ever have a King for president?

     Guy Goden said, "Celibacy is not hereditary."  That is true.  Enjoy...

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From a friend:

I promised my wife a mink for her birthday -- if she would promise to keep his cage clean.

                            ***

If you take an Chinese person, close his eyes and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

                            ***

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

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Thanks to LBS:  I am the flag of the United States of America.

My name is Old Glory.
I fly atop the world's tallest buildings.
I stand watch in America's halls of justice.
I fly majestically over institutions of learning.
I stand guard with power in the world.
Look up and see me.
I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice.
I stand for freedom.
I am confident.
I am arrogant.
I am proud.
When I am flown with my fellow banners, my head is a little higher, my colors a little truer.
I bow to no one!
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped - I am saluted.
I am loved - I am revered.
I am respected - and I am feared.
I have fought in every battle of every war for more then 200 years.
I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Shiloh and Appamatox.
I was there at San Juan Hill, the trenches of France, in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome and the beaches of Normandy, Guam. Okinawa, Korea and KheSan, Saigon, Vietnam now me, I was there.
I led my troops, I was dirty, battleworn and tired, but my soldiers cheered me
And I was proud.
I have been burned, torn and trampled on the streets of countries I have helped set free.
It does not hurt, for I am invincible.
I have been soiled upon, burned, torn and trampled on the streets of my country.
And when it's by those whom I've served in battle - it hurts.
But I shall overcome - for I am strong.

I have slipped the bonds of Earth and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space from my vantage point on the moon.
I have borne silent witness to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hours are yet to come.
When I am torn into strips and used as bandages for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I am flown at half-mast to honor my soldier,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving parent at the grave of their fallen son or daughter,
I am proud.
MY NAME IS OLD GLORY LONG MAY I WAVE. DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, LONG MAY I WAVE

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From a friend:  Thought You Might Enjoy These

The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."

"Was he successful?"

"Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill."

*****

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy", the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4  worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

*****

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"  "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."

*****

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

*****

A boy was watching his father, a preacher, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

*****

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

*****

After the Christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

*****

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.

*****

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

*****

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

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ANSWER:  Yes, you guessed it -- former President Gerald R. Ford was born Leslie King.  He has the distinction of being the only nonelected vice president and president in United States history.
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Good Morning:  It's Sunday July 15, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Rembrandt van Rijn, 1605; Clement Moore, 1779; Alex Karras, 1935; Ken Kercheval, 1935; Jan-Michael Vincent, 1944; Linda Ronstadt, 1946; Willie Aames, 1960; model Kil Alexis, 1960.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1870 the provinces of Manitoba and the Northwest Territories entered into the confederation of Canada.

On this date in 1933 Wiley Post took off from New York in a Lockheed Vega thus beginning the first around-the-world flight.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The oldest bridegroom in history was Ralph Cambridge who was 105 when he tied the knot with his 70-year-old bride, Adriana Kapp... Turn-of-the-century multimillionaire Russell Sage amassed much of his money by never buying underwear.  You could say he saved all his long john silver!... The word "karate" means "empty hand".

TRIVIA:  Name the three states in the U.S. that begin and end with the letter "A".

     Here is some advice for getting wealth from one who knew whereof he spoke:  "Rise early.  Work late.  Strike oil" (J. Paul Getty).  I somehow think the last phrase is the important one...

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From Packy Humor:  Things Not To Do While Driving
 
As you are aware, New York has become the first state to ban the use of handheld cell phones while driving, citing "manipulative distraction" as the cause of many accidents. Here are some other offenses that will be hitting the books in a legislature near you:
DWYAK - Driving While Yelling At Kids (When screamed at top of lungs, this acronym is indistinguishable from the word "QUIET!" yelled at the same volume.)
DWCRP - Driving While Changing Radio Presets (It doesn't matter if you were listening to WCRP.)
OAMVWEILB - Operating A Motor Vehicle While Engaging In Lewd Behavior (Pronounced "wham-vee-while-bee." Extra points and fine if done while passing a busload of Senior Citizens on their way to the casino.)
DWLTRLFARW - Driving While Listening To Rush Limbaugh For Any Reason Whatsoever (Pronounced "dwil-little-far." The final W is silent.)
DWCDTCYJD - Driving While Chasing Down That Cigarette You Just Dropped
WOWOSOAMV - While Ogling Women On Sidewalk, Operating A Motor Vehicle (Pronounced "wow-ohs-WHAM-v," the series of sounds made during this infraction.)
DWPOMOS - Driving While Putting On Makeup Or Shaving
DWEKKD - Driving While Eating Krispy Kreme Donuts (Pronounced the same as the sound you will make after having eaten one too many.)
DWEDD - (Same as above, other brand. Pronounced, "Some people think they are better anyway, and the coffee is always fresh.")
DWFOTSOTU - Driving While Figuring Out The Secret Of The Universe (Pronounced to rhyme with, "I thought so, too.")
CYDCLTGAITIDWPOR - Crossing Yellow Double Center Line To Get Around Idiot Turning Into Driveway Without Pulling Off Road (Pronounced the same way as the small Welsh town by the same name.)
DWDTB - Driving While Digging Through Briefcase
OAMVWWCFTNKA - Operating A Motor Vehicle While Writing Code For The Next Killer App (Pronounced $*.*/?.submit)
DWMRWLTBROOWKRT - Driving While Moving Rhythmically When Listening To Bohemian Rhapsody Or Other Well Known Rock Tune
OAMVWDAOABMW - Operating A Midsized VW Dreaming About Owning Any BMW
Unfortunately, no legislature currently has plans to ban the number one problem on the road: DWS – Driving While Stupid
 
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One with a good point from a friend:

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."

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From a friend:
 
Elisabeth Elliot: I think of that little girl, Fanny Crosby. Probably most of you know who Fanny Crosby was. She was a little girl back in the 1800s, who by a doctor's mistake, became blind when she was six weeks old. And when she was nine years old, she wrote this poem.
Oh, what a happy soul am I, although I cannot see. I am resolved that in this world contented I will be.
How many blessings I enjoy that other people don't.
To weep and sigh because I'm blind, I cannot and I won't!
Nine years old! Imagine that! Well, I had a letter from a prisoner who was listening to my radio program when I read that letter, read Fanny Crosby's.  And this is what he said.
"The Bible says that we are to choose an attitude."
He said, "Is that hypocritical? No," he said," I really believe that it is obedience to God."
And so he sort of paraphrased what Fanny Crosby had written. And he wrote:
Oh, what a happy soul am I, although I am not free.
I am resolved that in this cell contented I will be.
How many blessings I enjoy that other people don't.
To weep and cry because I'm chained, I cannot and I won't!
Now, you know, you can choose an attitude, a proper attitude. It's very easy to choose a bad one. Try choosing a good one.
 
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From a friend:  Southern Style

Dear Consumers:  It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.  Please also note:
 
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

OK . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right
Cancel . . . . . . ..stopdat
Reset . . . . . . . try er agin
Yes . . . . . . . . .yep
No . .. . . . . . . . noop
Find . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . .. . ..over yonder
Back . . . . . . . .back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . kwitit
Start . . . . . . . .crank er up
Settings . . . . . .settins
Programs . . . . .stuff at duz stuff
Documents . . . .stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . .A word processing program
Colerin book . . . . . . .a graphics program
cyferin mersheen . . . Calculator
outhouse paper . . . . ..notepad
iner-net . . . . . . . . . . .Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers . . .. . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
 
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob Gates              Head Honcho

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From Susquehanna Sentinel, 7/15/01. To subscribe free of charge email: [email protected]

THE RESURRECTION

"God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power" (1 Cor. 6:14). "Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure" (Heb. 11:19).
The resurrection of Christ is the very heart of a Christian's faith. The New Testament, if anything, is even more resurrection-oriented than it is cross-centered. It is the resurrection which interprets the cross.
By His resurrection from the dead, Jesus was declared to be the Son of God. Because He was raised we know Him to be what He claimed, and, therefore, worthy of our trust and our worship.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" (1 Peter 1:3).
     Let's examine the record:
 
Confucius' tomb             occupied
Buddha's tomb               occupied
Mohammed's tomb             occupied
Joseph Smith's tomb         occupied
Judge J. F. Rutherford      occupied
Ellen G. White's tomb       occupied
Alexander Campbell's tomb   occupied
Charles T. Russell's tomb   occupied
Mary Baker Eddy's tomb      occupied
Pope John's tomb                  occupied
John Wesley's tomb          occupied
John Calvin's tomb          occupied
Henry VIII's tomb           occupied
John the baptist's tomb     occupied
Jesus Christ's tomb         EMPTY
 
Why follow a loser? Accept God and His resurrected Son. If you are spiritually dead, He will make you alive again.-- Bob Buchanon

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ANSWER:  Alabama, Alaska, Arizona.
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Good Morning:  It's Monday July 16, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Mary Baker Eddy, 1821; Roald Amundsen, 1872; Barbara Stanwyck, 1907; Ginger Rogers, 1911; Bernard Hughes, 1915; Bess Myerson, 1924; Margaret Court, 1942; violinist Pinchas Zukerman, 1948; Barry Sanders, 1968.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1790 legislation was signed by George Washington selecting the District of Columbia as the permanent capital of the United States.

On this date in 1921 8 Chicago White Sox players were accused (in court) of having "thrown" the 1919 World Series.  It was dubbed the Chicago Black Sox affair.

On this date in 1945 scientists exploded the first atomic bomb at Alamagordo, New Mexico.

On this date in 1969 the APOLLO 11 space mission was launched.

On this date in 1973 the Nixon tapings were revealed.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Composer Johann Sebastian Bach had 20 children... Sleepwalking is hereditary.  And 2.5% of Americans do it regurlarly... Lady Randolph Churchill, Winston's mother, invented the Manhattan cocktail in 1874.

TRIVIA:  The winner of what race receives the Borg-Warner trophy?

     Gerald R. Ford said, "If President Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."  That one might deserve a second look...

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Thanks to AB:  The Lords Test
 
I woke up this morning
and knew that today,
The sun would not be shining
and the clouds would be gray.

As I stepped outside,
rain fell upon my head.
My car wouldn't start
so I walked to school instead.

I forgot all of my assignments
I failed all of my tests.
I dropped my head in disgust
and asked the Lord for one request.

Lord, why is it that
things won't go my way?"
He gently replied,
"Dear child it is because
you didn't thank me yesterday.
 
I woke you up and enabled
you to see the sun again.
I gave you shelter,
protected your family, and even let
you make a new friend.

I blessed you far
greater than I ever had before.
But you were too busy
to thank me once more.
 
You didn't feel sick
because I maintained your health.
You had money in your pocket
because I maintained your wealth.
 
You had shoes on you feet
and clothes to wear, too.
You had plenty of food to eat,
and what did you do?

You ignored me and went
about your tasks.
But when you wanted something
you never hesitated to ask.
 
I was there when you needed me
and that wasn't too long ago.
But when things started going your way,
it was me you did not know.
 
As if that weren't enough,
I provided your favorite luxuries.
This was something I didn't have
to do-they weren't even necessities.
 
And when it was time to get on your
knees and show your gratitude,
You decided that after such a
fulfilling day, you weren't in the mood.

So I decided to
give you just a little test.
To show you how it would feel
to stop being blessed."
 
I began to realize what
the Lord was saying.
And when I got home, I fell
to my knees and started praying.
 
He said, "My child, you have
learned and you know I do forgive.
But remember to remember this day
as long as you shall live.
 
I love filling your life with joy,
and your pain I'll alleviate it.
But just a simple thank you
would show how much you appreciate it."

Pass this on to everyone
you pray the Lord will bless.
There are no catches or
rules just this simple test.
 
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Thanks to WW:  REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN

(1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
(2) The farm was used to produce produce.
(3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
(4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
(5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
(6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
(7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
(8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
(9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
(10)I did not object to the object.
(11)The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
(12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

 If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of  odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and versee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or  experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was dombobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can  burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not  computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of  course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they  are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

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ANSWER:  The Grandaddy of them all -- the Indiapolis 500.
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