Good Morning:  It's Tuesday January 29, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS: Thomas Paine (American political philosopher and author of Common Sense), 1737; William McKinley (25th president of the United States), 1843; John D. Rockefeller, Jr., 1906; Bill Peet (children's author and illustrator), 1915; John Forsythe, 1918; Christopher Collier (children's author), 1930; Katherine Ross, 1943; Tom Selleck, 1945; Ann Killian, 1951; Oprah Winfrey, 1954; Greg Louganis (American diver who won gold medals at 2 Olympic Games), 1960;  Stacey King, 1967.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1845 "The Raven", by Edgar Allen Poe, was published in the "New York Mirror".
On this day in 1861 Kansas became the 34th State.
On this date in 1886 the first successful gasoline-powered car was patented by German engineer Karl Benz.
On this date in 1900 baseball's American League got its start.
On this date in 1929 SEEING EYE, INC., the first guide-dog foundation was organized.
On this date in 1936 the first players were elected to baseball's hall of fame:  Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Christy Matthewson and Walter Johnson.
On this date in 1943 Ruth Streeter became the first woman to attain the rank of Major in the U.S. Marine Corps.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  In 1923 the Newberry Medal (an award for books) was awarded to Hugh Lofting for his story, "The Voyages of Dr. Dolittle... In 1936 TCU beat LSU 3 to 2 in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, LA... According to the WORLD ALMANAC, in the State of Alabama a boy or girl may marry with their parents' consent at the age of 14.  Without parental consent they must wait until they are 18.  In Kansas and Mass -- with parental consent -- a girl of 12 may marry. (And they call Southerners Rednecks...)

TRIVIA:  I am a nation.  I boast a population of 3,164,156.  My geographic area is 43,000 square miles.  As for topography, Marshy Atlantic shoreline rises to low mountains and plateaus in the forested interior; 6 major rivers flow parallel to the ocean.  My capitol is inhabited by 962,000 people and is called Monrovia.  I have a Republic for a government, and my President is Charles Taylor.  I was founded in 1822 by U.S. black freedmen.  My constitution is modeled on that of the U.S.  What country am I?

     "A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain" (Mildred W. Struven).

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OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY:  RAW EGGS ARE MORE NUTRITIOUS THAN COOKED EGGS.  I am so thankful that this one is absolutely NOT TRUE!  However, they are more dangerous because a high percentage of eggs are contaminated by the bacteria that causes salmonella poisoning.  Fortunately, it's destroyed by thorough cooking.  Doctors advise against eating any raw or underdone eggs.  No more sunnyside up, over easy, or loosely scrambled -- please...  That also eliminates drinking a raw egg in a glass of tomato juice as a hangover cure -- or for any other reason.
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Thanks to LBS for sending this one in:  MODERN GADGETS
 
A cowboy from the Texas plains,
....East of the great divide
Inherited some money when
His rich old uncle died.

After weeks of celebration
And a big West Texas feast,
He packed the wife and all his kids
On a stagecoach headed east..

....Cause he'd heard about the cities
Where they never dim the lights
And he reckoned that he'd take his kin
To see those wondrous sights!

They had to change at Little Rock,
Where ol' Tex got the word
That the new stagecoach was silver,
And it flew just like a bird!

So they flew on into Kennedy
Just gettin' on for dark,
And as all tourists have to,
They got mugged in central park!

They saw so many wonders
In this new world they had found:
They traveled on a subway train
Way down under the ground!

They had their supper that night
In a big five star hotel,
And Tex went to the lobby
To set and rest a spell.

The place was packed with people
with functions here and there
An old folk's seminar was on..
...And a fashion show upstairs!

Two massive doors slid open
On the far side of the hall
In stepped an ancient lady
In an old and tattered shawl.

The doors slammed shut, the air was filled
With high pitched humming whine
Above the door a counter climbed
From "G" to forty-nine!

A moment passed, then numbers came
Back down again to "G"..
An apparition stepped out
That was all ol' Tex could see!

She wore a tiny mini-skirt
With legs right up to here..
..A tall and stately red-head,
He couldn't help but leer..

Another old girl went through
Into the room beyond,
A few short minutes later,
Out stepped a stunning blonde.

Tex reckoned that he'd seen enough.
This modern stuff was fun!
He leaned across the table,
And he whispered to his son..

"That aeroplane was okay,
But THIS gadget works real slick..
Rush back into the dining room,
And fetch your mother, quick!"
 
Frank Halliwell
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Thanks to LBS:  Seniors
At a nursing home a group of Seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.  "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another.  "My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even punch out the chad at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.
"What?  Speak up!  What?  I can't hear you!"
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.
"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.  The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully ...."and thank God we can all still drive."
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Thanks to LBS:  Ho, Ho, Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmmmm.
L.B.  Got Two Bucks?
A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approaches a well dressed gentleman on the street. "Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"
The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going to spend in on liquor are you?"
"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.
"You are not going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks the gentleman.
"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum.
"You wouldn't waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would you?" asks the man.
"Never," says the bum, "I don't play golf."
The man asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly. While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?"
"Probably," says the man, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, gamble or play golf." (Perhaps that is my trouble???... ts)
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ANSWER:  I am the Republic of Liberia.
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Good Morning:  It's Wednesday January 30, 2002!
BIRTHDAYS:  Gelett Burgess (American humorist who wrote "I never saw a Purple Cow"), 1866; Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882; Max Theiler (South African microbiologist who developed the vaccine for yellow fever), 1899; John Ireland, 1915; Dick Martin, 1922; Lloyd Alexander (children's author), 1924; Gene Hackman, 1930; Tammy Grimes, 1934; Vanessa Redgrave, 1937.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1781 the Articles of Confederation were adopted by Maryland, thus marking the 13th and final Colony to do so.
On this date in 1790 lifeboats were first used.
On this date in 1815 the Library of Congress purchased Thomas Jefferson's book collection.  The British troops had burned the Capital in 1814, destroying (among other things) the Library.  Mr. Jefferson was paid $23,950 for his 6,487 books.  Today the Library of Congress houses around 80 million items stored on 532 miles of shelves!  That's about the distance between Akron, Ohio, and St. Louis, Mo.  It is estimated that the Library of Congress acquires 10 new items every minute.
On this date in 1835 a demented painter named Richard Lawrence tried to assassinate President Andrew Jackson.
On this date in 1889 Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria and Baroness Marie Vetsera committed suicide at Mayerling, Austria, triggering a major revolution in eastern Europe.
On this date in 1915 Congress created the U.S. Coast Guard.
On this date in 1917 the first Jazz record was produced.
On this date in 1933 Adolf Hitler became the Chancellor of Germany.  His 'election' launched his nation and the world into a full-scale war.  We call it WWII.
On this date in 1933 THE LONE RANGER premiered on ABC Radio.
On this date in 1940 the first Social Security checks were delivered.
On this date in 1948 Mohandas K. Gandhi was assassinated in New Delhi, India.
On this date in 1958 the first "moving sidewalk" appeared in Dallas, TX.
On this date in 1969 the Beatles played together publicly for the final time on the roof of their Apple Studios.  The concert came to an abrupt end when London "bobbies" broke up the event after neighbors called to complain about the noise.
On this date in 1972 British soldiers shot and killed 13 civil rights marchers from the Roman Catholic Church in Londonderry, Northern Ireland, in an incident that is still called "Bloody Sunday" in the Emerald Isle.
On this date in 1972 also Wilt Chamberlain grabbed his 21,734th rebound to become basketball's all-time rebounding leader.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Hubert H. Humphrey’s middle name was Horatio... In 1876, Samuel J. Tilden, the Democratic presidential candidate received more popular votes than Republican Rutherford B. Hayes but loss the election when 22 disputed electoral votes were all awarded to Hayes... The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Ruth Cleveland, the youngest of five children of President and Mrs. Grover Cleveland. (Thanks to LM!!!)
TRIVIA:  Who, in the Bible, walked 40 days without eating?
     Today's quotes are from Thomas Paine, 1737 - 1809 via QUOTES OF THE DAY.  To Subscribe to this service (not maintained by Tim Smith), email Quotes of the Day <[email protected]>
"Character is much easier kept than recovered."
"It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe."
"Society in every state is a blessing, but government, even in its best stage, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one." - Common Sense - 1776
"When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary."
"The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason."
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OLD WIVES' TALE:  DON'T EAT BETWEEN MEALS; YOU'LL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE.  This one is NOT TRUE.  The American Academy of Pediatrics, in their guide book RIGHT FROM THE START:  ABCs OF GOOD NUTRITION, says, "Snacking makes up an important part of childhood nutrition.  Children must eat frequently because they have high energy needs."  The guide argues that eating several small portions is much better than fewer large portions.  I really like the facts as they are set straight here, being a longtime snacker myself...
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats for an old favorite:  Idiots
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?!" inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- Women's Lib International Conference
The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband,  Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."(The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself.
The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had  done not only his own washing, mine as well.(The crowd again cheered).
The third speaker, a Samoan lady, stood up and said, "Afta lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Piddi, dat I was froo pickin up afta him and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.(The crowd went wild with  cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes).
She continued, "Afta da first day, I nevah see nuffing. Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing, but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit out of my leff eye."
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- Recipe for Staying Young
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When they are in college, that is all that you can afford. When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be alive while you are alive, don't put out a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait in residence for your mail.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not to guilt country.
10. Tell the people you love, that you love them, at everyopportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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ANSWER:  Elijah -- I Kings 19:8 -- "And he (Elijah) arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God."
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Good Morning:  It's Thursday January 31, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  Franz Shubert, 1797; Eddie Cantor, 1892; Jackie Robinson, 1919; Carol Channing, 1923; Ernie "Mr. Cub" Banks, 1931; Suzanne Pleshette, 1937; Gerald McDermott (children's author), 1841; Nolan Ryan, 1947; Phil Collins (English singer and musician).
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1709 Alexander Selkirk, a British Sailor, was rescued after being marooned for four years on a Pacific Island.  You may not recognize his real name, but you are probably familiar with the name he was given when he was featured by Daniel Defoe in a novel based on his experiences, Robinson Crusoe.  The truth behind the fiction is compelling.
On this date in 1865 Congress passed the 13th amendment, abolishing slavery in the U.S.
On this date in 1920 hockey player Joe Malone of the Quebec Bulldogs scored a record-setting seven goals in a single game.
On this date in 1947 Canada recorded its lowest temperature -- -62 degrees F.
On this date in 1949 the first daytime TV Soap Opera, "These Are My Children," premiered
On this date in 1958 in response to the new space race with the Russians, the U.S. launched its first satellite, Explorer I, an event that led directly to our modern world of defense, weather and communications satellites.
On this date in 1961 a chimpanzee named Ham was recovered safely after traveling to a height of 155 miles in a space capsule.
On this date in 1974 a New Jersey court ruling directed that Little League teams accept girls.
On this date in 1990 the first and world's largest McDonalds opened in the Soviet Union.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Ambulance; is the French-origin word that means traveling hospital... Walter Brennan holds the record for: Supporting Actor Oscars; Come and get it (1936), Kentucky (1938), and The Westerner (1940)... Levi Strauss created the first pair of jeans in 1850. (Thanks to LM!!!)
TRIVIA:  How many decks were there on Noah's Ark?
     "Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate" (from Albert Schweitzer, 1875 - 1965).
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A nice link from R&J K:  Earth From The Space Station's View --
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0011/earthlights_dmsp_big.jpg
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Thanks to BC:  Think About It...
A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is full of selfishness, anger, and criticism. The other wolf is full of compassion, kindness, and love.”
The grandson asked, “Which wolf will win this fight in your heart?”
The grandfather answered: “The one that I feed.”
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Thanks to AK:  How to wash the cat...
1.  Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2.  Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up.
3.  Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4.  In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds.  Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find.
5.  Flush the toiler three or four times.  This provides a "power wash" and "rinse", which I have found to be quite effective.
6.  Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7.  Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8.  The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The Dog
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats:  Clever Cajun !!!
A Cajun named Boudreax moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.  The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day, the farmer drove up and the Farmer said:  "Sorry, but I have some bad news.  The donkey died."
The Cajun said: "Well, then, just give me my money back."
The Farmer said: "Can't do that.  I went and spent it already."
The Cajun said: "OK, then.  Just unload the donkey."
The Farmer said: "What ya gonna do with him?"
The Cajun said: "I'm going to raffle him off."
The Farmer said: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
The Cajun said: "Sure I can.  Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and the Farmer asked: "What happened with that dead donkey?"
The Cajun said: "I raffled him off.  I sold 500 hundred tickets at two dollars each and made a profit of $898."
The Farmer asked: "Didn't anyone complain?"
The Cajun said: "Just the guy who won.  So I gave him his two dollars back."
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Thanks to J&W R:  WHY GO TO CHURCH
A Churchgoer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.
"I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I heard something like 3,000 sermons.  But for the life of me I can't remember a single one of them.  So I think I'm wasting my time and the preachers are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to their delight of the editor.  It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher.
"I've been married for 30 years now.  In that my wife has cooked some 32.000 meals.  But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals.  But I do know this:  They all nourished me and gave me strength I needed to do my work.  If my wife had not given me those meals, I would be physically dead today.
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I recently wrote a poem called SONLIGHT and brother Strawn sent in his rendition on a similar theme:
SONLIGHT WILL FOLLOW ME
 
1. How can I be afraid?
 How can my heart grow weary?
 When hope, on Christ is staid,
 How can my days grow dreary.
2. How can I be dismayed?
 Can I be disappointed
 When hope in Christ is laid;
 God's son and His anointed?
 Cho.  (after first two verses)
 Sonlight will follow me
 From which I'll never roam,
 From here until eternity,
 Lighting my way to home.
3. Sinner be not afraid.
 Start, now, your walk t'ward heaven
 For you the price Christ paid;
 His blood for you was given.
 Cho.  (after third verse)
 Sonlight would follow you
 And you should never roam,
 For He would never prove untrue,
 Lighting your path to home.
 
 By L. B. Strawn
 January 19 and May 23, 1986
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ANSWER:  There were 3 decks on Noah's Ark -- Genesis 6:16 -- "A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it."  Moffatt has, "also put three decks in it," in place of the last phrase.
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