Good Morning:  It's Thursday January 24, 2002!

Happy Chinese New year to each of you... whatever that means.

BIRTHDAYS:  Jack (former voice of the Chicago Cubs) Brickhouse, 1916; Ernest Borgnine, 1917; Neil Diamond, 1941; John Belushi, 1949; Nastassja Kinski, 1961; Mary Lou Retton, 1968.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in AD 41 the Roman Emperor Caligula was murdered by two of his own Praetorian guards.  The name "Caligula" means "little boot" and was given to him because he was fond, when a little boy, of dressing up in soldiers uniforms.  At the time of his death he was 28 and had declared himself a god.  It would appear that his generals, troops and subjects took issue with that declaration and thus ended his 4 year reign of cruelty and depravity.

On this date in 1848 the California gold rush began when nuggets were discovered at Sutter's Mill.

On this date in 1899 lawyer-diplomat Edward John Phelps made a speech in which he said, "The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."  Sounds about right to me!

On this date in 1924 the Russian city of St. Petersburg was renamed Leningrad.

On this date in 1925 New York City had its original "Great Blackout" with a total solar eclipse.

On this date in 1935 canned beer first went on sale in the United States.

On this date in 1985 the space shuttle DISCOVERY was launched in the NASA program's first secret military flight.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The term "nesters" came into use after the U.S. Civil War. Nesters was used by cattlemen to describe farmers who sought to settle on range land... The strongest natural fiber is silk... The study of birds is known as "Ornithology."... (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, who burned a snake alive?

     "No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined" (Harry Emerson Fosdick).

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OLD WIVES' TALE:  DON'T STORE FOOD IN OPEN CANS; IT WILL SPOIL.  I have heard this one for many years, but nevertheless it is NOT TRUE.  According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (Supervisory Home Economist, Lois H. Fulton, M.S., R.D.) food can be stored in cans (the ones in which it was purchased) in the fridge without damaging its purity.  That said, she did not recommend the practice, because food is more likely to pick up an off-flavor from the can, even if it's covered.  In SAFE FOOD, THE CENTER FOR SCIENCE IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST (CSPI) we are told that if lead solder was used in the seams of the can, the oxygen would help dissolve and leach into the food, especially if the food contains acidic materials like tomatoes or citrus juice.  Lead, even in small amounts, poses a real danger because it builds up in the body.  And it can leach into the food even if the can is unopened.  Fortunately, lead-soldered cans are becoming rare in the U.S., but they are fairly common in imported foods, like mushrooms, fruits, fish, tomatoes, artichokes and water chestnuts.  CSPI recommends that you use only seamless cans or those with welded seams.  You can usually tell if a seam is soldered by running your finger down the seam and checking for unevenness through the level.  Of course, another way to solve any problem that may arise, is to take the food from the opened can and put it in a glass bowl...

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Thanks to AB:  A Beautiful Story

(This is a beautiful story and is offered for its' beauty, and not its theology.  ts)
 
A minister  passing through his church
in  the middle of the day,
Decided  to pause by the altar
and see  who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in a while.
His  shirt was kinda shabby
and his  coat was worn and frayed,
the  man knelt, he bowed his head,
then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment,
a lunch pail in his lap.
Well,  the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,
He  decided to stop the man and ask him,
"What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an  hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
for finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
this is kinda what I say:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO  TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE  BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH  OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK  AWAY MY SIN.

DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I
THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told  the man he was welcome
to come  and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said
"Thanks." He hurried to the  door.
The minister knelt at the  altar,
he'd never done it  before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT
THINK ABOUT YOU  EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry  some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
but he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came,
not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
he voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up
and with a winsome smile;
"the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that in here all the while
Everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
leans over and says to me:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
CHECKING IN TODAY."

May God hold you in the palm of His hand
and Angels watch over you.
Author Unknown~
 
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Some quotes from BC:

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

Anyone who doesn't make mistakes isn't trying hard enough.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.

People are very open-minded about new things--as long as they're exactly like the old ones.

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ANSWER:  Paul, the apostle, burned a snake alive -- Acts 28:3, 5 -- "And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat, and fastened on his hand...And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm."

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Good Morning:  It's Friday January 25, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  Robert Burns (Scottish poet), 1759; Somerset Maugham, 1874; James Flora (children's author), 1914; Ernie Harwell, 1918; Edwin Newman, 1919; Dean Jones, 1931; Mark "Super" Duper, 1959.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1533 Anne Boleyn married Henry VIII.

On this date in 1890 Nellie Bly completed her trip around the world.  Her real name was Elizabeth Cochrane, "Nellie Bly" was her pen name when writing for THE NEW YORK WORLD.  Her trip around the world took 72 days, 6 hours, and 11 minutes.

On this date in 1895 Tchaikovsky's ballet "Swan Lake" premiered in St. Petersburg, Russia.

On this date in 1905 the world's largest diamond -- 3,106 carats -- was discovered in South Africa.

On this date in 1915 Alexander Graham Bell in New York called Thomas Watson in San Francisco thus inaugurating transcontinental telephone service.

On this date in 1924 the first Winter Olympics began in Chamonix, France.

On this date in 1940 the first Social Security checks went out in the mail.  Most of them have probably been delivered by now...

On this date in 1945 Grand Rapids, Michigan, became the first city to fluoridate its municipal water supply.

On this date in 1959 Pope John XXIII (that's 23 for those who went to school after they stopped teaching Roman Numerals) called an ecumenical council to explore international unity.

On this date in 1959 also American Airlines flew the first scheduled transcontinental Boeing 707 jet flight.

On this date in 1983 the world's most powerful infrared telescope, called IRAS, was launched into orbit to search for distant stars, comets, and asteroids.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  A "Dibatag" is an animal better known as Gazelle... The first astronomer to use a telescope was Galileo... In Great Britain, "nob" is a slang word for a person who is rich or prominent... (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  Now only an astute student would know this one -- and probably many astute students won't know it either -- In the Bible, who were Uz and Buz?

     "Words, like eyeglasses, blur everything that they do not make more clear" (Joseph Joubert).

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OLD WIVES' TALE:  BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.  Most of us grew up hearing this one -- and despite that many of us still have only coffee for breakfast!  In an estimated 40% of American families there isn't even an adult present in the kitchen to urge children to finish their breakfast these days, so hearing it didn't make us believe it, apparently.  We have had so many false tales of late, but this one is TRUE.

While no one has proven conclusively that breakfast is the "most" important meal of the day, it is at least of equal importance with dinner and supper (the preferred way of referring to those meals, at least by your editor).  Nutritionists warn that your body burns the energy from food within four hours.  Although you may use up less energy while you sleep, it's a long time until morning and you still wake up with the need for more fuel.

Some studies have shown that children who skip breakfast don't do as well in school.  Besides lack of energy, we all know how tough it is to concentrate when your stomach's rumbling and you're counting hours until lunch.

For grownups, a recent Canadian study suggests that skipping breakfast may increase the chance of a heart attack.  It's been known that the incidence of heart attacks is highest in the first few hours after waking.  According to the study, the blood protein (beta thromboglobulin), which increases as blood cells prime themselves for clotting, averaged nearly three times higher in people who did not eat breakfast.
So, there's no doubt the importance of breakfast is more than just an old wives' tale.  The American Heart Association recommends that breakfast should supply at least one-fourth of the daily food needs.  And it's important to include a variety of the daily foods to supply energy until the next meal.  Carbohydrates (bread, for example) can be digested in as little as 30 minutes; however protein (eggs, milk, meat, cheese) lasts longer, and can help you make it until lunchtime.

Many nutritionists say one answer is in expanding the common idea of what constitutes breakfast.  Foods like pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, hearty soups and fruit milk shakes are all perfectly acceptable and are more likely to be eaten by children.  As for the question of preparation time, or lack of it, why not try recycling leftovers from the previous dinner.

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Thanks to BC for this thought...

WHAT KIND OF CHURCH WOULD MY CHURCH BE IF EVERYONE IN IT WAS JUST LIKE ME?

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Thanks to LM:  MEMO FROM GOD

To: YOU

Date: TODAY

From: THE BOSS

Subject: YOURSELF

Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse.

You could be one of them!

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Thanks to BC for this thought...

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

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ANSWER:  Uz and Buz were the first 2 sons of Nahor and Milcah -- Genesis 22:20-21 (R.V.) "...it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she also hath borne children unto thy brother Nahor:  Uz his firstborn, and Buz his brother,..."  AV has "Huz" and "Buz".

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Good Morning:  It's Saturday January 26, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  First Lady Julia Dent Grant, 1826;  Mary Mapes Dodge (children's author, creator of Hans Brinker), 1831; Douglas MacArthur (American WWII General), 1880; Paul Newman, 1925; Jules Feiffer, 1929; Angela Davis, 1944; Wayne Gretzky (Canadian hockey star), 1961.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1784 Benjamin Franklin declared that he wanted the turkey, rather than the eagle, as the U.S. symbol.  In a letter to his daughter, Sarah Bache, Franklin expressed his feelings about the majority's choice of national birds:  "He is a bird of bad moral character...The Turkey is a much more respectable bird..."

On this date in 1788 English settlers first arrived in Sydney, Australia.

On this date in 1837 Michigan joined up with the other 25 United States.

On this date in 1875 George F. Green patented the Electric Dental Drill.

On this date in 1918 to save meat and grain for the war effort, Americans were asked to observe "wheatless Mondays and Wednesdays, meatless Tuesdays, and porkless Thursdays and Saturdays."

On this date in 1950 Jesse Owens was voted the top track and field athlete of the first half of the 20th century.

On this date in 1980 Frank Sinatra sang before 175,000 people -- the largest crowd ever assembled for one performer -- at the Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Some laws which were (and may still be) on the books -- In Memphis, TN it's against the law for frogs to croak after 11:00 P.M.... It's illegal to ride a bike into a swimming pool in Baldwin Park, CA... You're not allowed to remove your shoes if your feet smell while you're in the theater in Winnetlea, IL.

TRIVIA:  Can you identify the foreign capital named after the fifth U.S. president and the country where it's located?

     Here is a quote from birthday-boy Paul Newman:  "My wife's final decision seldom tallies with the one immediately following it."  Hmmmmmmmm.

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The OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY:  CARROTS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR EYESIGHT.  Aaaahhhh, What's up doc?  OK, we have all seen this one... uh, I mean, we have all heard this one before, right?  What about it?  Vitamin A is necessary for maintaining normal epithelial tissue, which includes the cornea and conjunctiva of the eyes.  It's also essential in helping the eye adjust efficiently to changes in the intensity of light, like going outside on a sunny day.  A deficiency in this vitamin can cause eye problems, including burning, itching and inflamed eyes.

So vitamin A is important for your eyes, and carrots are, indeed, an excellent source of carotene, a form of this vitamin.  Other dark yellow vegetables (sweet potatoes, melons) and dark green vegetables (spinach, parsley, etc.) also contain high amounts of carotene.

Another form of vitamin A is retinol, which can be obtained from liver, eggs, whole milk, and cheese.  It's obvious that by eating a varied died, not just carrots, children and adults will get enough vitamin A.
The bottom line:  A moderate amount of carrots is essential for healthy eyes, but carrots or any other vitamin A food won't ensure 20/20 eyesight.  We'll call this one TRUE!

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Thanks to BC -- Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

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Thanks to LBS:  HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET?  The last one is the best!

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?  AT&T FIRED President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.   Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS ....... Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.  Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT ? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.  When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," The man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING ? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart !"  "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED !!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but fortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!).

8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.  No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.  After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.  A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER  ... THIS IS TRUE ...Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

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Thanks to M/M Riverrats for an old favorite -- A Visitor to the White House

A few days after George W. Bush's inauguration, a man came up to the Marine on duty at the White House and said, "I'd like to see President Clinton."

The Marine politely answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."

The man said, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The next day the Marine was again on duty, and the same man approached and again asked to see President Clinton. The Marine again answered, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer President."   Again the man answered, "Oh, okay," and walked away.

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to see President Clinton.  The Marine, a little annoyed by this time, said, "Sir, I've told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don't you understand that?"

"Yes, I do," said the man, "but I just enjoy hearing it."

The Marine smiled and said, "See you tomorrow."

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ANSWER:  Monrovia, Liberia.

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Good Morning:  Sunday January 27, 2002!

Happy Birthday to my grandmother -- Geneva Gray!

BIRTHDAYS:  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Austrian composer), 1756; Lewis Carroll (real name:  Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, English author who wrote ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND), 1832; Jerome Kern, 1885; Hyman Rickover (U.S. admiral who was instrumental in the development of nuclear-powered ships), 1900; Skitch Henderson, 1918; Donna Reed, 1921; Harry Allard (children's author), 1928; Troy Donahue, 1936; Julius Lester (children's author), 1939; Mikhail Baryshnikov (Russian ballet dancer), 1948.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1880 Thomas Edison got his patent for one of his brightest ideas -- the electric light bulb!

On this date in 1888 the National Geographic Society was incorporated.

On this date in 1948 the first tape recorder was sold.

On this date in 1951 an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton atom bomb on Frenchman Flats, NV, ushering in the age of atomic bombs and all that they led to.

On this date in 1964 France officially recognized the People's Republic of China.

On this date in 1967 the Apollo 1 fire killed astronauts Virgil Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee.

On this date in 1973 the United States signed a peace accord with North Vietnam in Paris and therefore the draft was ended.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The "Olfactometer" measures the sense of smell... Fred Astaire was the stage name of Frederick Austerlitz... Before Iceland became an independent republic in the 1940s, it was ruled by Denmark, which also owns Iceland. (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, who were Tryphena and Tryphosa?

     "Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out" (Will Rogers, 1879 - 1935).

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Here is the OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY -- FERTILIZED EGGS ARE MORE  NUTRITIOUS.  Health food stores often make this claim, but the embryo in a fertilized egg is so small that it doesn't add any significant nutritional value to the egg.  This one is NOT TRUE!  Another common misconception is that a blood spot in the yolk of the egg means that it is fertilized.  No way.  According to the American Egg Board, a blood spot is caused by the rupture of a blood vessel on the yolk's surface while the egg was being formed, or by a similar accident as the membrane travels down the reproductive tract.  Should you toss it or cook it?  These blood spots are really harmless; so don't
even bother removing them.

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Thanks to LM, LBS, and M/M Riverrats:  SENIOR CITIZENS

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary.

We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The religion out of school,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
or The ambition out of achievement.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the "Star Spangled Banner"? Just look at those old folks with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hands over their hearts singing every word! And, unless many of our younger generation learn to count in the absence of computers and calculators, they will be back to counting on fingers and toes.

Remember....... Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened.

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Thanks to M/M Riverrats for this old favorite --

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again..

The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma...."

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Thanks to LM:  TAXES

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to the Lord, which read: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those jerks deducted $95....

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Thanks to BC:  Even if you’re on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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Thanks to LBS:  A FEW OF LIFE'S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

LOL!  The WONDERFUL English language!  Makes you shake your head, doesn't it?

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ANSWER:  Tryphena and Tryphosa were Roman Christians -- Romans 16:12 -- "Salute Tryphena and Tryphosa, who labour in the Lord..."

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Good Morning:  It's Monday January 28, 2002!

Happy Birthday Kasey Savage!!!

BIRTHDAYS:  Charlemagne, 742; Sir Francis Drake, 1545; Colette, 1873; Arthur Rubinstein (Polish-born pianist), 1887; Jackson Pollock (American abstract painter), 1912; Vera B. Williams (children's author), 1927; Ann Jones (children's author), 1932; Susan Sontag, 1933; Alan Alda, 1936.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1547 Edward VI became King of England. At the time he succeeded his father Henry VIII he was 9-years-old.

On this date in 1613 Galileo may have viewed the then undiscovered Neptune.

On this date in 1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street in the world illuminated by gaslight.

On this date in 1852 Wendell Phillips said, "There is nothing stronger than human prejudice."

On this date in 1878 THE YALE NEWS was first published.  It was the original college newspaper.

On this date in 1878 the first commercial telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven, Conn.

On this date in 1916 Louis D. Brandeis was nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.  He was the first Jewish-American nominee.

On this date in 1948 the first Television Emmy Awards were given.

On this date in 1973 the State of Arkansas made the Honeybee its state insect.

On this date in 1986 the space shuttle "Challenger" exploded, 74 seconds into flight, killing the seven crew members.

On this date in 1990 the San Francisco 49ers won their second consecutive Super Bowl.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Isaac Pitman developed the writing known as shorthand... Roger Bannister of Great Britain was the first runner of a mile in four minutes. He accomplished this feat in May of 1954... Gen. Omar N. Bradley succeeded Dwight D. Eisenhower as Chief of staff of the U. S. Army in 1948. (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, who told a riddle about 2 eagles?

     "In the general course of human nature, A power over a man's subsistence amounts to a power over his will" (Alexander Hamilton, 1755 - 1804).

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Todays OLD WIVES' TALE:  BROWN EGGS ARE MORE NUTRITIOUS THAN WHITE EGGS.  This one is NOT TRUE.  The color of the egg shell has nothing whatsoever to do with nutritional value or flavor.  It simply depends on which variety of hen is laying the eggs.

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A little late, but worthy -- thanks to LBS:  On turning 29...

Dear friend,

This week I turn 29.  It's hard to believe. How time flies. January 22, 1973 seems like so long ago. I'm the oldest in my family. It’s a pretty big family, but I'll explain that later.  If you're a boomer, you probably don't think much of my generation -- Gen X. But that's because we're a threat to you! My generation is changing the world! Just think of all that has happened in the world these past 29 years...
The end of Vietnam. Watergate. Jimmy Carter. Actually, I don't remember much from the 70s, since I was just entering elementary school when Ronald Reagan became president. I loved the 80s. That's when I grew up, but I had no idea just how much the world was changing. Then, the Berlin Wall fell. I'll never forget that day in November. 1989. I was 16 and on top of the world. I can remember my history teacher telling me that the world would never be the same. He was right. Then, something even more dramatic developed.  The Internet. If you want to understand me and my generation, then go online. When I was in college, a few of my friends saw it coming. We helped start a revolution online. And don't believe it when they say the Internet bubble has burst. The only thing that has burst is the old way of doing business.

Now, I'm working on my third business startup -- all before age 30. Not bad, eh? I got married three years ago, and we're expecting our first child in three months. A new generation begins... Except for one problem. You see, I wasn't actually born on January 22, 1973. In fact, I wasn't born at all. I never was given the chance to take even that first breath - never mind then 381 million breaths that would have followed over these 29 years. Not a single breath. That's because of something else that happened on January 22, 1973.

Seven justices made a decision that would dramatically affect my life - and the lives of 40 million others who would never take a breath. That's my family. And it's growing every day. In fact, in the next 24 hours the family of abortion victims will grow by about as many people who died when the Trade Center buildings collapsed. The cleanup from 9/11 continues. And so does the clean up from 1/22/73. And to think it was all based on a lie. Jane "Roe" of Roe v. Wade was lied to. And so were you - if you believed even for a moment that the mass of tissue wasn't a human life. That mass of tissue was me! My goal here isn't to make you feel guilty. Rather, think of me - or what could have been me - the next time the topic of abortion comes up. Think of me graduating from high school and going to college. Think of me getting married and having children. Think of me celebrating my birthday with family and friends.  Think of me turning 29. -Anonymous

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Based on a true story???  Thanks to M/M Riverrats --

A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the boss."

Of course, the husband takes the doctor's advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife's face, and growls, "From now on you'll take your orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belong.  And another thing... Do you know who's going to comb my hair, adjust my pants, and then tie my bow tie?"

I certainly do," says his wife calmly. "The undertaker."

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Thanks to LBS for a funny one -- Blessing???

Mitch, a hard-shell Southern Baptist, loved to sneak away to the race track. One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt when he noticed this priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Mitch was most interested to see what the priest did the next race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the 5th race horses lined up, and placed this blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Mitch bet on it, and it won! Mitch was elated!

As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first. Mitch began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on. True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses. Mitchell bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last.  Mitchell was dumbfounded. He made his way to the track and when he found the priest, he demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now I've lost my savings, thanks to you!!"  The priest nodded wisely and said, "That's the problem with you Protestants ... you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites.

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ANSWER:  Ezekiel told the riddle about the 2 eagles in Ezekiel 17.  This is termed a riddle, but it is really a long and rather complicated parable.

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