The cookies I'd nibbled,
   the eggnog I'd taste,
   At the holiday parties,
   had gone to my waist.

   When I got on the scales,
   there arose such a number!
   When I walked to the store,
   (less a walk than a lumber).

   I'd remember the marvelous,
   meals I'd prepared;
   The gravies and sauces,
   and beef nicely rared,

   The wine and the rum balls,
   the bread and the cheese,
   And the way I'd never said,
   "No, thank you, please."

   As I dressed myself,
   in my husband's old shirt,
   And prepared once again,
   to do battle with dirt,

   I said to myself,
   as I only can
   "You can spend a winter
   disguised as a man!"

   So-away with the last,
   of the sour cream dip,
   Get rid of the fruit cake,
   every cracker and chip.

   Every last bit of food,
   that I like must be banished
   Till all the additional,
   ounces have vanished.

   I won't have a cookie,
   not even a lick.
   I'll want only to chew,
   on a long celery stick.

   I won't have hot biscuits,,
   or corn bread, or pie,
   I'll munch on a carrot,
   and quietly cry.

   I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
   and life is a bore-
   But isn't that what,
   January is for?

   Unable to giggle,
   no longer a riot.
   Happy New Year to all,
   and to all a good diet!
 
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ANSWER:  I Chronicles 25:7 -- "So the number of them, with their brethren that were instructed in the songs of the Lord, even all that were cunning, was two hundred four-score and eight."
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Good Morning:  It's Friday January 4, 2002!
BIRTHDAYS:  Sir Isaac Newton, 1642; Jacob Grimm, 1785; Louis Braille, 1809; Shorthand inventor Sir Isaac Pitman, 1813; Tom Thumb, 1838; William Bendix, 1906; Jane Wyman, 1914; Don Shula, 1930; Floyd Patterson, 1935; Dyan Cannon, 1937.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1493 Columbus began his journey back to Spain to report his discovery.
On this date in 1790 George Washington delivered the first State of the Union Address.
On this date in 1859 the U.S. Senate held its final meeting in the old Senate Chamber.
On this date in 1885 the first successful appendectomy was performed.  Dr. William West Grant of Davenport, Iowa, proved that what must come out can come out.  This was the first proof that man could live without an appendix.
On this date in 1887 Thomas Stevens arrived in San Francisco, California, completing the first arount-the-world bicycle trip.
On this date in 1896 Utah joined the Union.
On this date in 1974 President Nixon rejected the Senate Watergate Committee's subpoenas.  The subcommittee had requested copies of the President's White House tapes and documents so they could review his actions prior to the Watergate break-in.
On this date in 1984 Deputy defense secretary Paul Thayer resigned amid charges of insider trading.  He eventually served 19 months for perjury and obstruction of justice.
On this date in 1987 16 people were killed and 175 injured when a Conrail locomotive crashed into an Amtrak train outside Baltimore.  It turned out that the Conrail engineer and brakeman had shared some marijuana not long before the accident.
On this date in 1987 also Oral Roberts told viewers of his TV show:  "God will call me home" if you don't help raise $4.5 million in 3 months.  "I need some very quick money," said the 'preacher'.  "I mean, I need it now."  He got his money and didn't die.
On this date in 1987 also President Reagan entered Bethesda Naval Hospital for minor prostate surgery and the removal of four polyps from his colon.
On this date in 1988 Jesse Jackson revealed that he was once dependent on a painkiller, though it happened more than a quarter century ago and lasted for less than a day.  (Kinda like, "I didn't inhale..."  though long before it).
On this date in 1989, with tension mounting over the possible production of chemical weapons in Libya, US Navy warplanes shot down 2 Libyan fighter jets.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The real name of the outlaw, Billy the Kid was, William H. Bonney... Cum laude means; With Praise... "It Happened One Night" , was the first film to win the top five Academy Awards in 1934 . It won Oscars for best film, best director, best actor, best actress and best adapted screenplay.
TRIVIA:  Where was the only library mentioned in the Bible located?
     "The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more" (Jonas Salk)
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The OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY -- BLACK COFFEE SOBERS YOU UP.  I am certain that no one on my list would ever need to be sobered up, but no doubt we have heard this one before.  It is one of the most common notions associated with drinking -- if you can drink enough strong, black coffee, you'll sober up.  It's often served at parties before people drive home, and offered free on New Year's Eve at highway stops.  While it's true that caffeine may help relieve a hangover, and it may help a person stay awake, it does not lower the alcohol content in the body.  If a drunk drinks a lot of coffee you just have a wide-awake drunk -- still unfit to drive.  This one is NOT TRUE.
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Thanks to "Leroy Sedgwick" [email protected] via the weekly bulletin of 9th & Main church of Christ -- Here is a suggested reading schedule which will enable each user to read the New Testament through every two months. Cut it out and save it.
JANUARY—MARCH—MAY
JULY—SEPTEMBER—NOVEMBER
 1. Matt. 1—4           16. Luke 19—21
 2. Matt. 5—10          17. Luke 22—24
 3. Matt. 11—15         18. John 1—3
 4. Matt. 16—20         19. John 4—7
 5. Matt. 21—23         20. John 8—10
 6. Matt. 24—28         21. John 11—14
 7. Mark 1—5            22. John 15—17
 8. Mark 6—10           23. John 18—21
 9. Mark 11—16          24. Acts 1—4
10. Luke 1—3            25. Acts 5—8
11. Luke 4—6            26. Acts 9—12
12. Luke 7—9            27. Acts 13—15
13. Luke 10—12          28. Acts 16—20
14. Luke 13—15          29. Acts 21—24
15. Luke 16—18          30. Acts 25—28
FEBRUARY—APRIL—JUNE
AUGUST—OCTOBER—DECEMBER
 1. Rom. 1—3            16. 2 Thess.
 2. Rom. 4—6            17. 1 Tim.
 3. Rom. 7—11           18. 2 Tim.
 4. Rom. 12-16          19. Titus; Phile.
 5. 1 Cor. 1—4          20. Heb. 1—4
 6. 1 Cor. 5—8          21. Heb. 5—9
 7. 1 Cor. 9—11         22. Heb. 10—13
 8. 1 Cor. 12—16        23. James
 9. 2 Cor. 1—5          24. 1 Peter
10. 2 Cor. 6—13         25. 2 Peter; Jude
11. Galatians           26. 1-3 John
12. Ephesians           27. Rev. 1—5
13. Philippians         28. Rev. 6—11
14. Colossians          29. Rev. 12—16
15. 1 Thess.            30. Rev. 17—22
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats for a funny one... WHO SAYS REDNECKS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT?
“Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
“I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They swore at Billy Bob and left..
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy"
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Here is some good advice from a good friend in Greenwood, South Carolina -- "If you want to never be fussed at, criticized, etc., always loved--Get a dog."
*******************************************************
ANSWER:  Ecbatana was the location and one may read of it in Ezra 6:1-2.
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Good Morning:  It's Saturday January 5, 2002!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIE WHIDDON!!!
BIRTHDAYS:  Sir Isaac Newton, 1642; Stephen Decatur (American naval hero), 1779; Zebulon Pike (American explorer for whom Pike's Peak is named), 1779; Jacob Grimm, 1785; Louis Braille, 1809; Shorthand inventor Sir Isaac Pitman, 1813; Tom Thumb, 1838; King Camp Gillette (American inventor of the safety razor), 1855; William Bendix, 1906; Jane Wyman, 1914; Don Shula, 1930; Floyd Patterson, 1935; Dyan Cannon, 1937.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1493 Columbus began his journey back to Spain to report his discovery.
On this date in 1885 the first successful appendectomy was performed.  Dr. William West Grant of Davenport, Iowa, proved that what must come out can come out.  This was the first proof that man could live without an appendix.
On this date in 1895 the German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen announced the discovery of the X-Ray.
On this date in 1896 Utah joined the Union.
On this date in 1905 the National Association of Audubon Societies was founded.
On this date in 1914 automobile manufacturer Henry Ford announced the adoption of a minimum wage of $5 a day.
On this date in 1925 Nellie Tayloe Ross became the first female governor in the United States -- Wyoming.
On this date in 1943 American botanist George Washington Carver died.
On this date in 1972 President Nixon ordered NASA to begin work on a manned space shuttle.
On this date in 1973 U.S. airlines began using magnetometers, metal-detecting devices, to scan passengers.
On this date in 1974 President Nixon rejected the Senate Watergate Committee's subpoenas.  The subcommittee had requested copies of the President's White House tapes and documents so they could review his actions prior to the Watergate break-in.
On this date in 1984 Deputy defense secretary Paul Thayer resigned amid charges of insider trading.  He eventually served 19 months for perjury and obstruction of justice.
On this date in 1987 16 people were killed and 175 injured when a Conrail locomotive crashed into an Amtrak train outside Baltimore.  It turned out that the Conrail engineer and brakeman had shared some marijuana not long before the accident.
On this date in 1987 also Oral Roberts told viewers of his TV show:  "God will call me home" if you don't help raise $4.5 million in 3 months.  "I need some very quick money," said the 'preacher'.  "I mean, I need it now."  He got his money and didn't die.
On this date in 1987 also President Reagan entered Bethesda Naval Hospital for minor prostate surgery and the removal of four polyps from his colon.
On this date in 1988 Jesse Jackson revealed that he was once dependent on a painkiller, though it happened more than a quarter century ago and lasted for less than a day.  (Kinda like, "I didn't inhale..."  though long before it).
On this date in 1989, with tension mounting over the possible production of chemical weapons in Libya, US Navy warplanes shot down 2 Libyan fighter jets.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Benjamin Franklin, in Poor Richard wrote, "An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife."... The largest food company in the United States is the, Philip Morris Companies, owner of Kraft and General Foods, among other food businesses... Franklin D. Roosevelt served as assistant secretary of the Navy in 1913. (Thanks to LM!)
TRIVIA:  Where in the Bible is a diamond-pointed pen mentioned?
     Here is one that epitomizes most Philosophers -- "I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times" (Everett McKinley Dirksen, 1896 - 1969).
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Time for the OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY:  PREDICTING THE GENDER OF THE BABY.  Have you ever heard of these?
*If you carry the baby high, it is a boy.
*If you carry the baby low, it is a girl.
*Hold a needle on a thread above the abdomen:  If it swings clockwise it's a boy; counterclockwise it's a girl.
*Hold a long piece of cotton over the abdomen:  If the cotton moves back and forth, it's a boy; if it hangs straight, it's a girl.
*Compare the mother's age at time of conception with the year of conception:  If both are even or odd it will be a girl; If one is even and one is odd, it will be a boy.
The list could go on...  There is absolutely no scientific confirmation for any of these -- indeed, some of them smack of black magic!  It is (was) fun to have these "tests" run, but they are absolutely NOT TRUE.
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From M/M Riverrats:  It makes you wonder; How old would this person be?
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. He asked what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute. I was born before television, penicillin, and polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ballpoint pens. Man had not invented panty hose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers (well the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air), and man hadn't yet walked on the moon. Your grandmother and I got married first, and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother, and every boy over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use and respect. And they went hunting and fishing together. Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir', and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir'. Sundays were set aside for going to church as a family, helping those in need, and visiting with family or neighbors. We were before gay-rights; computer-dating, dual careers, day care centers, and group therapy. Good judgement, the Ten Commandments, and common sense governed our lives. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong, and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living here was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends, not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5- & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, ride on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink, 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in. 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word. And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap. How old do you think I am???
This man would be only 59 years old.
*******************************************************
ANSWER:  A diamond-pointed pen is mentioned in Jeremiah 17:1 -- "The sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond:..."
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Good Morning:  It's Sunday January 6, 2002!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LARRY AND MARY KIRKLAND!!!
BIRTHDAYS:  Joan of Ark, 1412; Carl Sandburg, 1878; Tom Mix, 1880; Joey Adams, 1911; Danny Thomas, 1912; Loretta Young, 1913; Vera Cleaver (children's author), 1919; Lou Harris, 1921; Earl Scruggs (the world's best banjo picker), 1024; Bonnie Franklin, 1944; Nancy Lopez (American golfer), 1957.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1759 George Washington married Martha Custis.
On this date in 1838 Samuel F.B. Morse demonstrated his telegraph for the first time.
On this date in 1854 Sherlock Holmes was allegedly born.  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle fashioned the personality of the world's first consulting detective from one of his favorite teachers in medical school.
On this date in 1898 the first telephone communication between a submerged submarine and land took place.
On this date in 1912 New Mexico became the 47th state.
On this date in 1941 President Franklin D. Roosevelt made his "Four Freedoms" speech.  Addressing congress, he voiced his vision of "a world founded upon four essential freedoms:  freedom of speech and expression, freedom of every person to worship God in his own way, freedom from want, {and} freedom from fear."
On this date in 1942 the first around-the-world trip by a commercial airliner (Pan Am Airlines) was completed.
On this date in 1981 President-elect Ronald Reagan announced the appointment of James Brady as White House Press Secretary.
On this date in 1981 also Mark David Chapman pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to the charge of murdering John Lennon.
On this date in 1984 Dan White, who claimed that his 1978 killing of homosexual San Francisco mayor George Moscone and supervisor Harvey Milk was caused by his junk food diet (the "Twinkie defense") was released from jail.  He asphyxiated himself 21 months later.
On this date in 1984 also The New Show premiered on TV. It was produced by Lorne Michaels, famous as creator of Saturday Night Live.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Aswan Dam is located in Egypt... Australia is ahead of the United States in time by about two-thirds of a day... The poem, "The spell of the Yukon", was written by Robert W. Service. (Thanks to LM!)
TRIVIA:  What long running classic sitcom got its start on the Danny Thomas show, "Make Room For Daddy"?
     "Like the light in the dark of dismal night, let your self stand out as glowing, warm, and welcome" (Validivar).
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Time for today’s OLD WIVES TALE:  A PREGNANT WOMAN SHOULD NOT RAISE HER HANDS ABOVE HER HEAD, BECAUSE THE UNBILICAL CORD WILL STRANGLE THE BABY.  Of course, there's no way the position of your arms can possibly affect the position of the umbilical cord, which is securely enclosed, along with the baby, inside the uterus.  The old midwives who were afraid of retribution when this tragedy occurred, preferring instead, to pass the blame along to the poor mother, probably started this one.  What's remarkable is that even in this century this false notion continues to have its advocates.  This one is simply NOT TRUE.
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Thanks to CCAH:  (The following is attributed to the North Lexington church of Christ bulletin.  I liked it and thought you might want to share it with your subscribers.  CCAH..)
TERRORIST GROUPS IN THE CHURCH
Latest news reports advise that a cell of six terrorist groups have been operating in churches.  Church Security advised earlier today that five of the six groups are Bin Sleeping, Bin Arguing, Bin Fighting, Bin Complaining, and Bin Missing.  Their leader, Osama Bin Lucifer, has trained these groups to destroy the body of Christ. Their strategic plan is to discourage, disrupt, and destroy the church.
The sixth cell group, Bin Working, is the smallest of them all.  Of all these cell groups in the church, the Bin Working is the easiest to spot because it has the fewest members and is the only group that is active in service.   The other five groups are not easily spotted because they blend in with whoever and whatever comes along.
Bin Working will be seen doing whatever is needed to up-lift and encourage the body of Christ.  We have noticed that the Bin Working cell group has different characteristics than the others.  The Working group includes Bin Watching, Bin Waiting, Bin Praying and Bin Longing for their Master, Jesus Christ, to return.
To which cell group do you belong?
"For we hear that there are some, which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies." (2 Thess. 3:11)
"But of the day and that hour knoweth no man, not not the angels which are in heaven neither the Son, but the Father.  Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is. (Mark 13:32-33)
Author unknown.
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Thanks to CRUSADER:  Thought For Today To Brighten Your Day (Daily messages of encouragement and exhortation)  Presented By: Glenn Hitchcock  Some of God's Gifts To Man
God gave us Pain to make us aware of Healing
God gave us Joy to make us aware of Feeling
God gave us Death to make us aware of Judgment
God gave us Trials to make us aware of Victory
God Gave us Fear to make us aware of Dependence
God gave us Choice to make us aware of Consequences
God gave us Hope to make us aware of Heaven
God is the Greatest Gift Giver!(James 1:17 KJV)  Every good gift and every
perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with
whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. gh
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Thanks to Giljo:  Resigning as Adult
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four-star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy, because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simply again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive when there are more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
So here are my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401(k) statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first because, "Tag! You're it!"
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ANSWER:  The "Andy Griffith Show" -- Andy Taylor, sheriff of Mayberry, was first seen giving Danny Thomas a traffic ticket on an episode of "Make Room For Daddy".
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Good Morning:  It's Monday January 7, 2002!

http://www.geocities.com/gradowith/GradowithsHomepage.html
http://www.geocities.com/gradowith/DailyHumorArchive.html

Happy Birthday: Catherine White; Jimmy Kilgore!!!

BIRTHDAYS:  Millard Fillmore, 1850; Vincent Gardenia, 1922; William Peter Blatty, 1928; Kenny Loggins, 1948; Erin Gray, 1952.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1610 Galileo discovered the four largest moons of Jupiter.

On this date in 1782 the first commercial American bank opened.  It was the Bank of North America.

On this date in 1795 the first balloon flight over the English Channel took place.

On this date in 1830 the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Company began rail service.  Believe it or not, the first American train was drawn by a team of horses.

On this date in 1913 a cracking process to obtain gasoline from crude oil was patented.

On this date in 1953 President Harry S. Truman announced that the U.S. had developed a hydrogen bomb.

On this date in 1959 the United States recognized Fidel Castro's Cuban government.

On this date in 1968 SURVEYOR VII landed on the moon.

On this date in 1978 President Jimmy Carter said he favored a referendum on the future of Palestinians living in the Gaza Strip and West Bank.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  "Notary Public" has two plural spellings; "Notaries public" or "notary publics."... The music for Oklahoma! Was written by, Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II.. Sauna baths originated in Finland. (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  American soldiers have often been referred to as "G.I's".  What does G.I. stand for?

     Another deep one... "Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be" (Jose Ortega y Gasset).

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A favorite --  Thanks to AB for this one:
The Village That Lived By The Bible  (Clarence W. Hall)
It was early in 1945 when, as a war correspondent on Okinawa, I first came upon Shimabuku, the strangest and most inspiring community I ever saw. Huddled beneath its groves of banyan and twisted pine trees, this remote village of some 1000 souls was in the path of the 'American' advance and so received a severe  shelling. But when an advance patrol swept up to the village compound, the GI's stopped dead in their tracks.
Barring their way were two little old men; they bowed low and began to speak. The battle-hardened sergeant, wary of tricks, held up his hand, summoned an interpreter. The interpreter shook his head. "I don't get it. Seems we're being welcomed as 'fellow Christians'. One says he's the mayor of the village, the other's the schoolmaster. That's a Bible the older one has in his hand..."
Guided by the two old men - Mojun Nakamura the mayor and Shosei Kina the schoolmaster - we cautiously toured the compound. We'd seen other Okinawan villages, uniformly down-at-the-heels and despairing; by contrast, this one shone like a diamond in a dung heap. Everywhere we were greeted by smiles and dignified bows. Proudly the two old men showed us their spotless homes, their terraced fields, fertile and neat, their storehouses and granaries, their prized sugar mill.
Gravely the old men talked on, and the interpreter said, "They've met only one American before, long ago. Because he was a Christian they assume we are, too - though they can't quite understand why we came in shooting."
Piecemeal, the incredible story came out. Thirty years before, an American missionary on his way to Japan had paused at Shimabuku. He'd stayed only long enough to make a pair of converts (these same two men), teach them a couple of hymns, leave them a Japanese translation of the Bible and exhort them to live by it. They'd had no contact with any Christian since. Yet during those 30 years; guided by the Bible, they had managed to create a Christian democracy at its purest. How had it happened? Picking their way through the Bible, the two converts had found not only an inspiring "Person" on whom to pattern a life, but sound precepts on which to base their society. They'd adopted the Ten Commandments as Shimabuku's legal code; the Sermon on the Mount as their guide to social conduct. In Kina's school the Bible was the chief literature; it was read daily by all students, and major passages were memorized. In Nakamura's village government the precepts of the Bible were law. Nurtured on this Book, a whole generation of Shimabukans had drawn from it their ideas of human dignity and of the rights and responsibilities of citizenship. The result was plain to see. Shimabuku for years had had no jail, no brothel, no drunkenness, no divorce; there was a high level of health and happiness.
Next day, the tide of battle swept us on. But a few days later, during a lull, I requisitioned a jeep and a Japanese speaking driver and went back to Shimabuku. Over the winding roads outside the village, huge truck convoys and endless lines of American troops moved dustily; behind them lumbered armored tanks, heavy  artillery. But inside, Shimabuku was an oasis of serenity.
Once again I strolled through the quiet village streets, soaking up Shimabuku's calm. There was a sound of singing. We followed it and came to Nakamura's house, where a curious religious service was under way. Having no knowledge of churchly forms or ritual, the  Shimabukans had developed their own. There was much Bible reading by Kina, repeated in singsong fashion by the worshipers. Then came hymn singing. The tunes of the two hymns the missionary had taught -"Fairest Lord Jesus" and "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name" - had naturally suffered some changes, but they were recognizable.
Swept up in the spirit of "All Hail the Power," we joined in. After many prayers, voiced spontaneously by people in the crowd, there was a discussion of community problems. With each question, Kina turned quickly to some Bible passage to find the answer. The book's imitation-leather cover was cracked and worn, its pages stained and dog-eared from 30 years' constant use. Kina held it with the reverent care one would use in handling the original Magna Carta.
The service over, we waited as the crowd moved out, and my driver whispered hoarsely, "So this is what comes out of only a Bible and a couple of old guys who wanted to live like Jesus!', Then, with a glance at a shell-hole, he murmured, "Maybe we're using the wrong  kind of weapons."

Time had dimmed the Shimabukans' memory of the missionary; neither Kina nor Nakamura could recall his name. They did remember his parting statement. As expressed by Nakamura, it was: "Study this Book well. It will give you strong faith. And when faith is strong, everything is strong."
Copyright © Clarence W. Hall  All Rights Reserved
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ANSWER:  "General Issue", the term stamped on their clothing, equipment and supplies.
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Good Morning:  It's Tuesday January 8, 2002!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT GANT!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY NOBLITT!!!
BIRTHDAYS:  Jose Ferrer, 1912; Soupy Sales, 1930; Elvis Presley, 1935; Shirley Bassey, 1937; Yvette Mimieux, 1941; Stephen Hawking, 1942; David Bowie, 1947.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1800 the first soup kitchens for the poor opened in London.
On this date in 1815 the Battle of New Orleans was fought, two weeks after the war was over!  It was later celebrated in a song by the same name performed by Johnny Horton -- set to the tune of the old fiddle number "The Eighth of January".  For the record:  Andrew Jackson defeated the British Army on what is now unquestionably American soil.
On this date in 1918 President Woodrow Wilson delivered his Fourteen Points Address, which outlined his ideas for a "peace of justice" after WWI.
On this date in 1935 professor Arthur Cobb Hardy invented the Spectrophotometer, an instrument that describes over 2 million shades of color.
On this date in 1964 President Lyndon B. Johnson declared an "unconditional war on poverty in America".
On this date in 1965 Senator Everett Dirksen of Illinois introduced a bill to make the Marigold the national flower of the United States.
On this date in 1982 AT&T was disconnected as the only operator on the block.
On this date in 1987 the Dow Jones industrial average closed above 2,000 for the first time, ending the day at 2,002.25.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Frank Buck was known as the man to "bring' em back alive" . The phrase referred to wild animals for circus use... The American Revolutionary War began in 1775 and ended 1783... The unusual thing about the 154 sonnets written by William Shakespeare was, a large majority of the sonnets are addressed to a young man, but the last 26 are to a woman known as the "Dark Lady."  (Thanks to LM!!!)
TRIVIA:  What do Clint Reno, Tulsa McCauley, Glenn Tyler, Josh Morgan, Vince Everett, Joe Lightcloud and Jesse Wade have in common?
          Here is a truly deep thought:  "Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you" (Soupy Sales).  As you ponder that, enjoy these...
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Time for THE OLD WIVES' TALE OF THE DAY:  IF YOU HAVE HEARTBURN WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT, THE BABY WILL HAVE LOTS OF HAIR.  Heartburn is caused when the stomach contents back up into the esophagus.  Chocolate, smoking, caffeine and fatty foods can worsen the condition, as can lying down.  The last contributing factor explains why most of the pregnant women with heartburn have heartburn -- at least so I am told.  The gastrointestinal system is totally separate from the heart and the uterus -- any heartburn during pregnancy is totally coincidental.  This one is NOT TRUE.
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From my good friend LBS:  THE WAY IT REALLY HAPPENED -
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.
BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:
 
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The religion out of school,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending, or
The ambition out of achievement.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!
Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner?
Just look at those old folks with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts!
And, unless many of our younger generation learn to count, in the absence of computers and calculators, they will be back to counting on fingers and toes.
 
Remember.......Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what in the world happened.
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Thanks to LBS:  SMILE EMBRACE
 
I had some free time, so what did I do?
I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you.

I used to walk out to a box to retrieve my mail
But I'd rather get it instantly than wait on the snail.

Checking my E-mail is always fun
I usually get a joke or greeting from someone.

I feel so blessed because on the other end
I know I've connected with a friend.

When I've had a hard day and need to share
Here I can find a friend who will listen & care.

I want this friend to always know
That I am there for them also.

Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form?
It isn't exactly like the "norm"

But where is it written, face to face we have to be
For you to be a very good friend to me?

That little joke, or note, or even just a simple "Hi"
Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky.

So my online pals, this is dedicated to you
For all the smiles you have made anew.

May our friendship continue to grow
And the warmth we feel continue to flow.

Always remember this...
A smile is such an easy thing

To pass along the way,
Like a ray of summer sunshine
On a somewhat gloomy day.

So pass this on to those you care about
Then imagine seeing that person's face...

And feel the warmth as it's returned;
It's called a... :-) smile embrace.
 
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Thanks again to LBS:  A Cowboy Prayer

 
Big Mike, the rancher, went one day
to fix a distant fence.
The West Texas wind was cold and gusty
and the clouds rolled gray and dense.
-
As he pounded the last staples in
and gathered his tools to go.
The temperature had fallen
and the snow began to blow.
-
When he finally reached his pickup,
he felt a heavy heart,
from the sound of that ignition,
he knew it wouldn't start.
-
So Big Mike did what most of us
would do if we'd have been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
and sent aloft a prayer.
-
As he turned the key for the last time,
he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later,
frozen stiff in that old truck.
-
Now Big Mike had been around in life
and had his share of ex's
But when he got a glimpse of Heaven,
he was shocked -- it looked just like Texas!
-
Of all the saints in Heaven,
his favorite was St. Peter.
Now, this line, it ain't needed
but it helps with rhyme and meter.
-
So they set and talked a minute or two,
or maybe it was three,
Nobody was a-keepin' score-
in Heaven, time is free.
-
"I've always heard," Mike said to St. Pete,
"that God will answer prayers,
But one time I asked for help,
well He, just plain wasn't there.
-
Does God answer prayers of some,
and ignores the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square-
I know all men are brothers.
-
Or does He randomly reply,
without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
the weather or the season.
-
Now I ain't trying to act smart,
it's just the way I feel,
And I was wonderin', could you tell me
what the "Sam-Hills" the deal?"
-
St. Peter listened very patiently
and when Big Mike was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
and he said, "So, you're the one!
-
That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
and you sent your prayer flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
with hundreds of us trying.
-
A thousand angels rushed to check
the status of your file,
But you know, Big Mike, we hadn't heard
from you in more than quite a while.
-
And though all prayers are answered,
and God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
and started a truck in South Dakota!"
 
Author Unknown
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ANSWER:  They were all characters that Elvis played in his movies.  By the way, the name on Elvis' birth certificate reads, "Elvis Aron Presley", a misspelling that was later corrected.
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Good Morning:  It's Wednesday January 9, 2002!
BIRTHDAYS:  Sir Rudolph Bing, 1902; George Balanchine, 1904; Richard Nixon, 1913; Bob Denver, 1935; Dick Enberg, 1935; Joan Baez, 1941; Bart Starr, 1944; Crystal Gayle, 1951.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1522 Adrian of Utrecht became Pope Adrian VI.  He was the only Dutch pontiff in history, and the last non-Italian pope for over 400 years.
On this date in 1770 William Pitt, the elder, told the British House of Lords:  "Where law ends, tyranny begins" and "Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who possess it."
On this date in 1788 Connecticut joined the Union.
On this date in 1793 the first successful American balloon flight was made from Philadelphia to New Jersey, piloted by Jean Pierre Blanchard.
On this date in 1945 American forces invaded the Philippine island of Luzon, thus fulfilling the promise of US Army General Douglas MacArthur to "return".
On this date in 1951 the United Nations headquarters opened in New York City.
On this date in 1956 Abigail Van Buren's "Dear Abby" column first appeared in newspapers.
On this date in 1972 Howard Hughes held his first news conference in 14 years.  It was via telephone.  He officially denounced the fraudulent biography of his life written by Clifford Irving, who had already made a fortune with the book.  He continued to deny that it was a fake.
On this date in 1984 a preliminary hearing requested by the defendants in the TWILIGHT ZONE case was held.  You may recall that three people on the set of the movie Twilight Zone were killed in an accident, two of them were decapitated.
On this date in 1984 Beach Boy Dennis Wilson, age 39, drowned.
On this date in 1984 Charles Z. Wick apologized to Richard Nixon for secretly taping "a small percentage" of his phone conversations.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The World War II memoirs of General Dwight D. Eisenhower were published under the title of, "Crusade in Europe."... In June 1967, President Lyndon Johnson met the Soviet premier Aleksei Kosygin at Glassboro State College in New Jersey... The word "Machiavellian" comes from Niccolo Machiavelli who was an Italian statesman (1469-1527), that wrote a book of advice for leaders, which some readers consider his recommendations amoral... (Thanks to LM!)
TRIVIA:  In the Bible, who first used a pen?
     From BC comes today's quote:  "If you never tell a lie, you never have to remember anything."
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Today's Old Wives' Tale:  IF YOU GIVE IN TO YOUR CRAVING FOR STRAWBERRIES WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT, THE BABY WILL HAVE A STRAWBERRY BIRTHMARK.  Doctors do stress that it is important for pregnant women to eat a balanced diet and that includes plenty of fruit.  So, if a pregnant woman craves strawberries -- it's OK for her to eat them.  There is no medical/scientific link between the sweet treat and a birthmark.  The so-called "strawberry" birthmark usually fades during childhood, even though it may get larger during the first year.  However, disfiguring "port wine stains", usually on the face, are birthmarks that do not fade.  Thanks to the advances in lazer technology, these and most other skin blemishes can be treated.  This one, of course, is NOT TRUE.
*******************************************************
From a friend:  GOD WON'T ASK......
God won't ask what kind of car you drove, but He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.
God won't ask the square footage of your house, but He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, but He'll ask how many others you clothed.
God won't ask about your social class, but He'll ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won't ask how many material possessions you had, but He'll ask if they dictated your life.
God won't ask what your highest salary was, but He'll ask if you compromised your principles to obtain it.
God won't ask how much money you spent on yourself, but He'll ask how much you gave back to Him.
God won't ask how much overtime you worked, but He'll ask if your overtime was for yourself or for your family.
God won't ask how many promotions you received, but He'll ask how you promoted others.
God won't ask what your job title was, but He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
God won't ask what you did to help yourself, but He'll ask what you did to help others.
God won't ask how many friends you had, but He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
God won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but He'll ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, but He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won't ask about the color of your skin, but He'll ask about the content of your character.
God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but He'll ask how many times they didn't.
God won't ask if His Son loved you, but He'll ask if you loved His Son.
Source Unknown
*******************************************************
Thanks to LBS:  FIVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and you are one of them!!!
Facts on Figures;
There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do.
Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14.
If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
The average woman weighs 144 lb. and wears between a 12-14.
One out of every four college aged women has an eating disorder.
The models in the magazines are airbrushed -- not perfect!
A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.
Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman.
Today they weigh 23% less.
~Beauty of a Woman~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing,"on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
*******************************************************
Thanks to GB:  George and Moses
George W. Bush was walking through an airport last week, when he saw an old man with white hair, a long white beard, wearing a long white robe and holding a staff.
He walked up to the man, who was staring at the ceiling, and "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?"
The man stood perfectly still and continued to stare at the ceiling, saying nothing.
Again George W. asked, a little louder this time, "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?" Again the old man stared at the ceiling motionless without saying a word.
George W. tried a third time, louder yet. "Excuse me sir, aren't you Moses?"
Again, no movement or words from the old man. He continued to stare at the ceiling.
One of George W.'s aides asked him if there was a problem, and
George W. said,  "Either this man is deaf or extremely rude. I have asked him three times if he was Moses, and he has not answered me yet."
To which the man, still staring at the ceiling finally replied, "I can hear you and yes, I am Moses, but the last time I spoke to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness."
*******************************************************
ANSWER:  The Zebulunites are the first recorded penmen in the Bible -- Judges 5:14 -- "...and out of Zebulun they that handle the pen of the writer."
*******************************************************
Good Morning:  It's Thursday January 10, 2002!
BIRTHDAYS:  Ethan Allen, 1738; Robinson Jeffers, 1887; Ray Bolger, 1904; Sal Mineo, 1939; Rod Steward, 1945; George Foreman, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1776 Thomas Paine published "Common Sense".
On this date in 1807 President Thomas Jefferson received the report of the Lewis and Clark Expedition.
On this date in 1845 the English poets Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning began corresponding.
On this date in 1901 the Texas oil boom started.  Oil was "discovered" in Beaumont and ushered in an era of
American prosperity as it introduced the world to a new energy source.
On this date in 1911 the first aerial photograph was taken.
On this date in 1946 the first manmade contact with the moon was established when radar signals were bounced off the lunar surface.
On this date in 1946 delegates from 51 nations met for the first session of the United Nations General Assembly.
On this date in 1978 two Soviet cosmonauts were launched into space to dock with the Salyut 6 research station.
On this date in 1983 Health and Human Services Secretary Richard Schweiker proposed a "tattletale rule" that would force federally funded clinics to inform parents when teenage girls receive birth-control devices.  It was vigorously opposed by a certain political party which believes that parents have no right to such information...
On this date in 1984 the U.S. and the Vatican re-established full diplomatic relations.
On this date in 1985 one of Bernhard Goetz's victims (the ones he shot on the subway when they tried to rob him, and for which he was prosecuted) claimed that the screwdrivers he and his friends were carrying were intended not to intimidate subway riders, but to rob arcade game machines...
On this date in 1985 Shel Silverstein's A LIGHT IN THE ATTIC broke the record (111 weeks) for the longest period on THE NEW YORK TIMES best-seller list.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The most populated city in Canada is Toronto, with a population of more than 4 million.... The most recent change to the Pledge of Allegiance occurred in 1954 when two words were added;
"Under God."... Winston Churchill died at the age of 90, in 1965. (Thanks to LM!)
TRIVIA:  Where are tutors of an heir mentioned in the Bible?
Today's quotes are compliments of "Quotes of the Day" [email protected]
"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave."
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
"These are times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country."
"He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself." (All today's quotes are from Thomas Paine, 1737 - 1809).
*******************************************************
Today's Old Wives' Tale -- ONCE YOU GIVE BIRTH BY CAESAREAN, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CAESAREAN WITH EACH BIRTH.  No one knows for certain if this notion dates back to Roman times, when this procedure was named after the emperor Julius Caesar, who, as you may have already guessed, came into the world via a surgical incision.  Until a few years ago, the assumption in the United States was that having once delivered by C-section, one must deliver any other infants the same way because of the risk of rupturing the uterus during the birth process.  Naturally, this rule contributed to the rising number of Caesarean deliveries, now at 25 percent of all births nationwide.
In other countries vaginal deliveries after C-sections were quite common and the rules began to change during the last decade.  The obvious advantages to vaginal delivery include lower medical costs and faster recovery.  Selected women who had had only one low transverse incision were allowed to attempt a "trial of labor" for a vaginal delivery.  Studies, conducted at large medical centers with routine fetal monitoring and standby surgical teams, showed successful results.  It seems this OWT really has become an outdated notion, in most cases.
However, two reports in the June 1991 issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology raise some concerns over the increasing popularity of the practice.  They estimate that one in every 100 subsequent vaginal births has resulted in uterine rupture and serious complications for mother or baby.  Dr. Roy M. Pitkin summed it up in an accompanying editorial:  "The message seems clear:  Many women with previous Caesareans can be delivered vaginally, and thereby gain substantial advantage, but neither the decision for trial labor nor management during that labor should be arrived at in a cavalier or superficial manner."  Technically, 99 % of the time this one is NOT TRUE.
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An old favorite from LBS:  Lessons from a Donkey
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.  He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
*******************************************************
Thanks to LM:  Gifts
It was the kindergarten teachers’ birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy.
She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy.
She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm, is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."
*******************************************************
ANSWER:  Galatians 4:1-2 -- "Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child,... is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father."
*******************************************************
Good Morning:  It's Friday January 11, 2002!
OBSERVANCES:  Today is Banana Split Day!
BIRTHDAYS:  Alexander Hamilton, 1755; William James, 1842; Alice Paul (American women's rights leader and founder of the National Women's Party), 1885; Rod Taylor, 1930; Sax Machine Clarence Clemons, 1942; Darryl Dawkins, 1957.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, thus committing himself irrevocably to war with Pompeii and the Roman Senate.  He is reported to have said, "The die is cast."
On this date in 1569 Great Britain held its first lottery in London's St. Paul's Cathedral.
On this date in 1770 Benjamin Franklin sent Chinese Rhubarb to America.
On this date in 1813 the first pineapples were planted in Hawaii.
On this date in 1878 Alexander Campbell became the first milkman to deliver his milk in glass bottles.
On this date in 1923 France and Belgium occupied the Ruhr Valley after the German government failed to keep up its First World War reparation payments.
On this date in 1935 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Pacific.  She completed the flight on January 12.
On this date in 1964 the U.S. surgeon general issued a report declaring cigarettes hazardous to health.
On this date in 1973 the American League voted to adopt the "designated hitter" rule.
On this date in 1986 L. Douglas Wilder became Lieutenant Governor of Virginia, making him the first black to become elected and sworn in as a Southern state official since the Civil War.  Three years later he became the nation's first elected black governor.
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The word "patisserie" is a word of French origin, it refers to fancy pastry or a shop where such pastry is made and sold... The won-lost percentage of a baseball team with 48 victories and 60 defeats is .444... The next leap year will occur the year of 2004. (Thanks to LM!!!)
TRIVIA:  In the Bible, when did foreigners rank higher than natives in an intelligence test?
     "Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor" (James Baldwin).
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Time for the old wives' tale of the day:  WHEN A NEWBORN SMILES, IT'S ONLY GAS...  It's not a very charming way to describe those first smiles that parents wait for with so much expectation.  But, unfortunately, gas is much more likely to generate a grimace or cry than anything resembling a smile.  According to THE GROWING YEARS, a guide from the New York Hospital Cornell Medical Center, even "These first smiles (that appear as early as six weeks of age) are not in response to another person; they aren't social smiles, but are indications of contentment."
Not to worry, however.  Babies soon begin to smile at 'anything vaguely resembling a face', an indication of the beginning of socialization.  By the age of 3 months, babies begin to smile at their parents, which doctors point out is a "crucial development, because it indicates that the infant is responding selectively and specifically" and attachment is taking place.  So go ahead and make all the silly faces you want.  You may feel like an idiot, but isn't a baby's smile worth it?
So, what of this old wives' tale?  It is NOT TRUE.
*******************************************************
Thanks to PW:  Signs of the End...
One day Father Boudreaux and and Pastor Thibodeaux wus fishin on the side of the road. Dey thoughtfully made a sign saying,
"The End is Near, Cher'!
Turn yurself 'Round now,
before it's too late!,"
and showed it to each passing car.
Well dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign and wus shouting at dem and hollin "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash and dey looked at each other and Fr. Boudreaux said ..... "ya think we shoulda just put a sign dat says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
*******************************************************
From friends:
CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
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Thanks to Chadlex:  THE GARDEN
Come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses...
 
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness
PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another
NO GARDEN IS WITHOUT TURNIPS:
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another
TO CONCLUDE OUR GARDEN WE MUST HAVE THYME:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
WATER FREELY WITH PATIENCE AND CULTIVATE WITH LOVE. THERE IS MUCH FRUIT IN YOUR GARDEN BECAUSE YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
 
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats, J&W R:  Senior Version of Jesus Loves Me
 
Jesus loves me, this I know
Though my hair is white as snow
Though my sight is growing dim
Still He bids me trust in him.
(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME YES, JESUS LOVES ME
YES. JESUS LOVES ME THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
Though my steps are oh, so slow.
With my hand in his I'll go
On through life, let come what may He'll be there too lead the way
(chorus)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME YES, JESUS LOVES ME
YES, JESUS LOVES ME THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
Though I am no longer young,
I have much which he's begun
Let me serve Christ with a smile.
Go with other's the" extra mile
(chorus)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME YES, JESUS LOVES ME
YES, JESUS LOVES ME THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
When the nights are dark and long,
In my heart he puts a song,
Telling me in words so clear,
"Have not fear, for I am near."
(chorus)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME YES, JESUS LOVES ME
YES, JESUS LOVES ME THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
When my work on earth is done,
And life's vic'tries have been won
He will take me home above,
Then I'll understand his love
(chorus)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME YES, JESUS LOVES ME
YES, JESUS LOVES ME THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.
I love Jesus, does he know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say
That I love him every day.
Yes, I love Jesus,
Yes, I love Jesus,
Yes, I love Jesus
I'll trust Him and obey!
If you think this is neat, please pass it on to all of your Senior friends, after all we are all God's children.
 
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ANSWER:  One may read of the intelligent guests in Daniel 1:19-20 -- "...among them all was found none like Daniel. Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah:  therefore stood they before the king.  And in all matters of wisdom and understanding, that the king enquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers that were in all his realm."
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