Good Morning:  It's Tuesday January 15, 2002!

Happy Birthday Janie Summerlin!!!

BIRTHDAYS:  Ray Chapman (the only professional baseball player to be killed by a pitched ball), 1891; Aristotle Onassis, 1906; Gene Krupa, 1909; Lloyd Bridges, 1913; Chuck Berry, 1926; Martin Luther King, 1929; Charo, 1950.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1861 Elisha Otis climbed to the top when he patented the steam operated elevator.

On this date in 1870 "Harper's Weekly" introduced the donkey as the symbol of the Democrat Party.

On this date in 1885 William Bentley, age 19, made the first successful photograph of a single snowflake.

On this date in 1927 George Young, a nearly penniless 17-year-old, won $25,000 in a 16-hour swimming marathon.

On this date in 1929 the U.S. Senate ratified the Kellogg-Briand agreement for the peaceful settlement of international disputes.  It was a general expression of hope following WWI -- the war to end all wars.  It seemed to come somewhat short of its goal...

On this date in 1943 construction on the Pentagon, headquarters of the U.S. Department of Defense was completed.

On this date in 1967 the first Super Bowl was played by the Green Bay Packers of the NFL and the Kansas City Chiefs of the AFL.  By the way, the packers won 35-10.

On this date in 1997 the crews of the U.S. space shuttle ATLANTIS and the Russian space station MIR celebrated together after succeeding in connecting their spacecrafts in orbit.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Most of the 10 largest banking firms is in Japan... The full name of former President George Bush is George Herbert Walker Bush... A misocapnist is someone who hates smoking. (Thanks to LM!)

TRIVIA:  Who, in the Bible, was "So"?

     "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" (Albert Camus).

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Today's OLD WIVES' TALEWHETHER THE BABY'S BELLYBUTTON IS AN 'INNY' OR AN 'OUTY' DEPENDS ON HOW THE DOCTOR CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD.  This one is NOT TRUE.  'Innies' and 'outies'... doesn't that bring back memories from childhood?  Of course, no one ever thought or even cared about the cause, it was just something fascinating to look at and compare.  In truth, the obstetrician can't be blamed either way.  The position of the cut makes no difference:  What does determine the shape is the same thing that shapes the baby's fingers -- heredity.

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Thanks to LM:  Top Ten Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Dog

1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.

2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair.

4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.

5. No one thinks less of you for sleeping all day. Some people might actually think you're cute.

6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.

7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.

8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.

10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you.

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Thanks again to LM:  Important Note

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage to the bonnet. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

"Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and other important information.
But I'm not."  Buh Bye!

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Thanks to LBS:  Martha Stewart Vs Me

Martha's Way:  Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My Way:   Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

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Martha's Way:   To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
My Way:  Buy Hungry Jack Mash Potato Mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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Martha's Way:  Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
My Way:  Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.

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Martha's Way:  When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead & there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
My Way:  Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

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Martha's Way:  If you accidentally over-salt a dish, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt.
My Way:  If you over-salt a dish while you're cooking that's too darn bad. My motto is: I made it, you will eat it, I don't care how bad it tastes!

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Martha's Way:  To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. It sinks, it's fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away.
My Way:  Eat, cook or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh.

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Martha's Way:  To cure a headache, take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
My Way:  Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore; it is because you are now blind.

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Martha's Way:  Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potatoes on the stains and rinse with water.
My Way:  Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.

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Martha's Way:  Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.
My Way:  Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?

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Martha's Way:  Now look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: To clean a toilet, drop 2 tablets in, wait 20 min, brush and flush.
To remove a stain from a vase or glass cruet, fill with water and drop in two tablets.
To polish jewelry, drop two Alka-Seltzer tabs into a glass of water and immerse jewelry for 2 minutes.
To clean a thermos bottle,  fill with water and drop in four tabs and let sit for an hour or more (if necessary).
My Way: (a real time saver) Put your jewelry, vases and thermos in the toilet. Add a bottle of Alka-Seltzer tabs and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once. For the really bold......drop in your dentures too!

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ANSWER:  "So" was the King of Egypt -- II Kings 17:4 -- "...Hoshea...had sent messengers to So king of Egypt..."

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Good Morning:  It's Wednesday January 16, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Andre Michelin, 1888; Ethel Merman, 1909; Jay "Dizzy" Dean, 1911; A.J. Foyt (4-time Indy 500 winner), 1935; Ronnie Milsap, 1944; Debbie Allen, 1950.
Today is National Nothing Day, a day to sit back, relax and do nothing.  Observed by the public since 1973, it's a much older tradition with Congress...

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned czar of Russia.

On this date in 1883 the Pendleton Act, which dictated the selection process employed by the U.S. Civil Service, went into effect.

On this date in 1920 prohibition became the law of the land and America went dry.

On this date in 1967 Alan Boyd became the first U.S. Secretary of Transportation.

On this date in 1969 Soviet cosmonauts achieved the first link between two manned spacecraft while in orbit.

On this date in 1975 the Commerce Department declared that the nation was in the worst recession since the Second World War.

On this date in 1975 also former CIA head Richard Helms reported that the agency was involved in domestic spying.

On this date in 1978 NASA accepted its first women candidates for astronauts.

On this date in 1991 Saddam Hussein's throat went dry as "Desert Storm" blew into Kuwait and Iraq.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The Frenchman who founded the science of bacteriology was Louis Pasteur... The actress that holds the record as the youngest to win an Academy Award is Tatum O'Neal. She was 9 when she won a best supporting actress Oscar for 1973's Paper Moon... The Spanish-American War began in 1898 and lasted about 3 ½ months. It ended in 1898, the same year that it began... (Thanks to LM!!!)

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, whose bowels boiled?

     "If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be Enthusiasm" (Bruce Barton, 1886 - 1967).

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Time for today's OLD WIVES TALE:  A CAT WILL STEAL A BABY'S BREATH.  Now, folks, it is hard to believe that there were (and still are) thousands of believers in this one -- it is as FALSE as the day is long!  Adult cats often look like they're guilty or up to no good, which is the source of the expression "the cat that swallowed the canary."  Even the most fanatic cat lover will admit that most cats seem to really enjoy making, or getting into, trouble.  That accepted, is it the case that cats steal the breath of babies?  Of course not.  The belief that they do probably arose from the unfortunate phenomenon that used to be called 'crib death', when a (presumably) perfectly healthy infant mysteriously dies while asleep.  Cats love to curl up to anything warm, and it's likely that if they were found in the crib, they took the blame.  The condition is now known as SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, but there's still no definitive answer as to the cause.

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Thanks to LM:  Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly
known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.

Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

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Thanks to GB:  Pause for thought!
 
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.
 
He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1934 -1998)
 
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
 
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
 
So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
 
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
 
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
 
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
 
So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
 
Author Unknown

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Thanks to LM:  Letter From School

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on.

Reply from dad...

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

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Thanks to LM:  Super HUGS
 
It's wondrous what a hug can do
A hug can cheer you when you're blue
A hug can say, "I love you so," or
"Gee, I hate to see you go"
A hug is, "Welcome back again," and
"Great to see you," or "Where've you been?"
A hug can sooth a small child’s pain
And bring a rainbow after rain.
The hug. There's just no doubt about it.
We scarcely could survive without it.
A hug delights and warms and charms,
It must be why God gave us arms.
Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,
Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers.
And chances are some favourite aunts
love them more than potted plants.
Kittens crave them, puppies love them.
Heads of state are not above them.
A hug can break the language barrier.
No need to fret about the store of them.
The more you give, the more there are of them.
So stretch your arms without delay
and give someone a hug today.
 
--- Lamar Mcdade

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ANSWER:  Job's bowels boiled -- Job 30:27 -- "My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me."

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