Good Morning:  It's Tuesday February 19, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  Nicolaus Copernicus (Polish astronomer), 1473; Sven Hedin (Swedish scientist and explorer of Tibet), 1865; Constantin Brancusi (Romanian sculptor), 1876; Louis Slobodkin (children's author), 1903; Merle Oberon, 1911; Eddie Arcaro, 1916; Lee Marvin, 1924; Smokey Robinson, 1940; Mama Cass Elliot, 1941; Prince Andrew, Duke of York, 1960; Justine Bateman, 1966.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1878 the phonograph was patented by Thomas Edison, and the phrase "turn that down or you're grounded" entered the language.

On this date in 1881 Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcoholic beverages.

On this date in 1888 a cyclone destroyed Mt. Vernon, IL.

On this date in 1942 president Franklin Roosevelt ordered Japanese-Americans living on the West Coast to report to internment camps in remote areas of the western United States.

On this date in 1945 thirty-thousand U.S. Marines landed on the Japanese island of Iwo Jima.

On this date in 1968 "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" premiered on PBS.

On this date in 1984 Phil and Steve Mahre took the gold and silver medals in the slalom, becoming the first brothers to win in the same event at the Olympics.

On this date in 1986 the U.S.S.R. launched the MIR space station into earth's orbit.

On this date in 1989 Alfred Ferrer, the last survivor of the World War I Last Man's Club, died at age 97.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect January 1, 1994... Byron De La Beckwith was convicted of the murder of civil rights leader Medgar Evers approcimately 31 years after the crime was committed -- 02-05-1994... Major Leabue Baseball players went on strike following the games of August 11, 1994.  The stoppage lasted until April 25, 1995.  It was perhaps the most devasting thing baseball has ever done to itself.

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, who named his son "Hen"?

     "It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win" (John Paul Jones).

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From a Friend:  WHO AM I?

Who am I? I was born in 1725, and I died 1807. The only godly influence in my life, as far back as I can remember, was my mother, whom I had for only seven years. When she left my life through death, I was virtually an orphan.

My father remarried, sent me to a strict military school, where the severity of discipline almost broke my back.  I couldn't stand it any longer, and I left in rebellion at age of ten.  One year later, deciding that I would never enter formal education again, I became a seaman apprentice, hoping somehow to step into my father's trade and learn at least the ability to skillfully navigate a ship.

By and by, through a process of time, I slowly gave myself over to the devil. And I determined that I would sin to my fill without restraint, now that the righteous lamp of my life had gone out.

I did that until my days in the military service, where again discipline worked hard against me, but I further rebelled. My spirit would not break, and I became increasingly more and more a rebel. Because of a number of things that I disagreed with in the military, I finally deserted, only to be captured like a common criminal and beaten publicly several times.

After enduring the punishment, I again fled. I entertained thoughts of suicide on my way to Africa, deciding that would be the place I could get farthest from anyone that knew me.  And again I made a pact with the devil to live for him.

Somehow, through a process of events, I got in touch with a slave trader, and I lived in his home.  His wife, who was brimming with hostility, took a lot  of out on me.  She beat me, and I ate like a dog on the floor of the home.  If I refused to do that, she would whip me with a lash.

I fled penniless, owning only the clothes on my back, to the shoreline of Africa where I built a fire, hoping to attract a ship that was passing by.

The skipper thought that I had gold or slaves or ivory to sell and was surprised because I was a skilled navigator.  And it was there that I virtually lived for a long period of time.

It was a slave ship.  It was not uncommon for as many as six hundred blacks from Africa to be in the hold of the ship, down below, being taken to America.  I went through all sorts of narrow escapes with death only a hairbreadth away on a number of occasions. One time I opened some crates of rum and got everybody on the crew drunk.  The skipper, incensed with my actions, beat me, threw me down below, and I lived on stale bread and sour vegetables for an unendurable amount of time.  He brought me above to beat me again, and I fell overboard. Because I couldn't swim, he harpooned me to get me back on the ship. And I lived with the scar in my side, big enough for me to put my fist into, until the day of my death.

On board, I was inflamed with fever. I was enraged with the humiliation. A storm broke out, and I wound up again in the hold of the ship, down among the pumps.  To keep the ship afloat, I worked along as a servant of the slaves. There, bruised and confused, bleeding, diseased, I was the epitome of the degenerate man.

I remembered the words of my mother.  I cried out to God, the only way I knew, calling upon His grace and His mercy to deliver me, and upon His Son to save me.

The only glimmer of light I would find was in a crack in the ship in the floor above me, and I looked up to it and screamed for help.  God heard me.

Thirty-one years passed, and I married a childhood sweetheart.  Then I entered the ministry.

In every place that I served, rooms had to be added to the building to handle the crowds that came to hear the gospel that was presented and the story of God's grace in my life.  The tombstone above my head reads, "Born 1725, died 1807.  A clerk, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was by the rich mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the faith he once long labored to destroy."  I decided before my death to put my life's story in verse. And that verse has become a hymn.  My name?  John Newton.  The hymn? "Amazing Grace."

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Thanks to LBS:  True Southerner

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption.

Nobody but a true Southerner knows how many fish make up a mess.

A true Southerner knows what you mean when you say "his arm almost fell slap off"

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of cattywumpus.

A true Southerner knows exactly how long directly" is--as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

A true Southerner knows that "youanto" (you-want-to?) is one word.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.

True Southerners know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold tater salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add some hot biscuits and nanner puddin'.)

True Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

They also know the exact distance to "a ways away".

True Southerners both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

True Southerners know that "fixin" can be used both as a noun, verb and adverb.

True Southerners have always known that the South is more American than the rest of America.

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ANSWER:  Zephaniah -- Zechariah 6:14 -- "...Hen the son of Zephaniah,..."

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Good Morning:  It's Wednesday February 20, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  Voltaire, 1694; Hiram R. Revels (first black U.S. senator), 1827; Ansel Adams (American nature photographer), 1902; John Daly, 1914; Gloria Vanderbilt, 1924; Robert Altman, 1925; Sidney Poitier, 1927; Bobby Unser, 1934; Sandy Duncan, 1946; Peter Strauss, 1947; Jennifer O'Neill, 1949; Edward Albert, 1951; Charles Barkley, 1963.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1437 Scotland's King James I was murdered.  He had ruled with more than an iron fist throughout his thirteen-year reign.  He treated his nobles harshly; and he approved some very unpopular laws.  He forbade drinking after 9 P.M.; he banned his subjects from playing football; he ordered his people to wear clothes appropriate to their social status; and he imprisoned any unemployed person who failed to seek a new job.  His reforms didn't garner praise or support.  While he was visiting a priory at Perth, his cousin Sir Robert Stewart, Sir Robert Graham, and eight soldiers murdered the unpopular monarch.

On this date in 1792 George Washington signed an act that created the U.S. Postal Service.

On this date in 1839 a longstanding American tradition was officially outlawed:  Congress prohibited dueling in the District of Columbia.  Discussing this with a member here at Enon recently, he observed that it is probably a good thing for politicians that folks don't duel any more...

On this date in 1895 American abolitionist Frederick Douglass died in Washington, D.C.

On this date in 1938 Great Britain's Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden resigned in protest of Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain's appeasement policy toward Nazi Germany.  It would serve as an inspiration to the nation in the years to come.

On this date in 1943 the volcano Paricutin appeared in a cornfield in Michoacan, Mexico.  It eventually buried the village of Parangaricutiro.

On this date in 1946 the Council of Economic Advisers to the President of the United States was established.  That's why we haven't had any economic trouble since then...

On this date in 1962 Lt. Colonel John Glenn became the first American in orbit as he circled the earth three times in Friendship 7.

On this date in 1971 Radio and Television stations nationwide left the air for a national emergency... well, at least that's what they thought was happening.  When the momentary panic subsided it was realized that a false alarm had been sounded.

On this date in 1986 the world's largest cake was served to 300,000 people celebrating the founding of Texas.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  During the annual 12-day carnival in Nice, France, people bring a healthy supply of flowers and, on a signal, begin throwing them at one another.  By the end of the "battle" -- which sometimes lasts for hours -- the participants can be knee-deep in petals... The Parangaricutiro, Mexico volcano started with a 20-inch crack in the ground that grew and bulged until, within 10 days, the Paricutin volcano was 500 feet high and its explosive sounds could be heard 200 miles away in Mexico City... People in the Northern Hemisphere go out side today and celebrate "Hoodie Hoo Day!"  They yell, "Hoodie Hoo" in an effort to chase winter away.  I am quite certain that it doesn't work.

TRIVIA:  Which U.S. State is known as the Beehive State?

     "You are your own best teacher.  My advice is to question all things.  Seek for answers, and when you find what seems to be an answer, question that, too"  (Louis L'Amour, in THE WALKING DRUM.)

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Thanks to MAK:  Quick Eye Exam...

This will blow your mind...! Just do it - don't cheat!!!!!!!!!!!! Try this its actually quite good.

But don't cheat! Count the number of F's in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

Managed it?  OK? How many?  Three?

Wrong, there are six - no joke!

Read again!

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS The reasoning is the brain cannot process the word "OF". Incredible or what? Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go is a genius. Three is normal.

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Thanks to AB: Love In The Home

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper - not a homemaker.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness - not godliness.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.

Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.

Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love is present through the trials. Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.

Love is the key that opens salvation's message to a child's heart.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection. Now I glory in God's perfection of my child. As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.

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Thanks to LBS for 2 favorites --

Winning the Nobel Prize

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."

Believing Politicians

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer,
"Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

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From a friend --

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

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On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

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A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.  Then she added., "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter --haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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ANSWER:  The Beehive State is Utah.  I have never been there, and, for that matter, I can't say that I have ever met anyone who did (of course, I may have met such an one who simply didn't tell me...)

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Good Morning:  It's Thursday February 21, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  W. H. Auden, 1907; Sam Peckinpah, 1925; Erma Bombeck, 1927; Hubert de Givenchy, 1927; Barbara Jordan, 1936; Jim Aylesworth (children's author), 1943; Tricia Nixon, 1946; Tyne Daly, 1947; Christopher Atkins, 1961.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1795 freedom of worship was established in France.  The religious persecution of the Hugenots and other "Protestant" sects ended as the government officially established freedom of worship as part of the nation's essential doctrines.  I am glad those issues were "settled" in our nation hundreds of years ago, as I don't think the concept would pass congress today...

On this date in 1828 the CHEROKEE PHOENIX, the first newspaper printed in an American Indian Language, was published.

On this date in 1838 Samuel F. P. Morse gave the first public demonstration of his telegraph.

On this date in 1838 the first burglar alarm system was installed.

On this date in 1866 Lucy Hobbs became the first female to graduate from The Ohio College of Dental Surgery in Cincinnati, Ohio.

On this date in 1878 the world's first telephone directory was published by the New Haven Telephone Company.  It had 50 listings.

On this date in 1885 the Washington Monument was dedicated.

On this date in 1918 a Chinook (a warm wind that blows down the eastern slopes of the Rocky Mountains) changed the temperature in Granville, N.D., from -33 degrees F to 50 degrees F in one day.

On this date in 1925 the first issue of "New Yorker" magazine was published.

On this date in 1947 Inventor Edwin Land introduced 60-second photos with his Polaroid Land camera.

On this date in 1954 the U.S. Army accused Senator Joseph McCarthy of browbeating Army personnel during the hunt Communist infiltrators.  This accusation led to the Senate hearings which eventually led to his censure.

On this date in 1965 African-American leader Malcolm-X was killed at a rally in New York City.

On this date in 1972 President Richard Nixon, an ardent anti-communist, traveled on a friendship mission to the Peoples' Republic of China.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  In the Calchaqui Valley of Argentina, mothers and godmothers perform the Tincunaco Ceremony today.  They line up on opposite sides of an arch made of willow branches trimmed with flowers, fruit, cheese, lanterns, and candy.  After meeting under the arch, the women touch their foreheads together and exchange a child made out of candy.  This is their way of honoring the children in their lives...   In 1998 the city with the highest average salary was San Jose, CA. -- $51,409... In 1960 there were 222 "strikes" in the U.S. involving 896,000 workers and idling 13,260 thousand work hours.

TRIVIA:  How many counties are there in the State of Kentucky?

     "Must one seek something?  I seek to be seeking, as I learn to be learning.  Each book is an adventure as each day's horizon" (Louis L'Amour).

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Thanks to LBS (NOTE:  Let's get our tongue in the "cheek" position...)

Some Cards you will never see in Hallmark

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What in the world was I thinking?"

"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your brother."

"As you grow older, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."

"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike!

"When we were together, you always said you'd die without me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."

"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket....I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday-so we're having you put to sleep."

"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!"(available only in Alabama & Mississippi)

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Thanks to LBS:
 
THE QUIET HOUR
In the stillness of the quiet hour
When I pause a while to rest,
I read about God's promises
From the book I love the best.
It tells me of His wondrous love
And of His tender care,
He fills my soul with blessing
As I linger with Him there.
He whispers softly do not fear,
Though the billows round me roll,
I have found in Him a hiding place
The anchor of my soul.
In the stillness of the quiet hour,
I can feel the tempest cease
When I read about God's promises
And Jesus whispers peace.
Henry E. Haver
 
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Thanks to LBS:  (NOTE:  I haven't travelled enough to know if these are true or not, but they are funny.  TS)

SIGNS SEEN AROUND THE WORLD

Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY

Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

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Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- Subject: Typical Women

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one.  Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting.  I'm a woman.  Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle.  My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.  Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man.  The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No.  I think I'll just wait for the police...."

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ANSWER:  There are 120 counties in Kentucky.

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Good Morning:  It's Friday February 22, 2002!

BIRTHDAYS:  George Washington, 1732; Frederic Chopin, 1810; Edna St. Vincent Millay (American Poet), 1892; Sheldon Leonard, 1907; Robert Young, 1907; John Mills, 1908; Senator Edward Kennedy, 1932; Julius Erving, 1950.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1630 Quadequina, the brother of Wampanoag Indian Chief Massasoit, introduced popcorn to the New England colonists.

On this date in 1819 a treaty was signed whereby Spain ceded Florida to the United States.

On this date in 1861 Edward Weston began a walking trip from Boston to Washington, D.C., to attend Lincoln's inauguration.

On this date in 1862 Jefferson Davis was inaugurated as Confederate President.

On this date in 1879 Franklin W. Woolworth opened his first five-and-ten cent store in Utica, NY.

On this date in 1889 four more stars were added to the flag as North and South Dakota, Montana and Washington became states.

On this date in 1924 Calvin Coolidge delivered the first presidential radio broadcast from the White House.

On this date in 1935 flying an airplane over the White House became illegal.

On this date in 1973 the U.S. and the People's Republic of China agreed to establish liaison offices.

On this date in 1980 the U.S. Hockey team won the Olympic Gold Medal by defeating the favored Soviet team 4-3.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Edward Weston bet a friend that Stephen Douglas would defeat Abraham Lincoln in the 1860 presidential election.  The stakes?  The loser would walk from Boston to Washington, D.C., for the presidential inauguration.  Weston lost.  After walking for 10 days, he finally arrived at his hotel in Washington... Twenty-seven-year-old Franklin W. Woolworth opened his "Great Five-Cent Store" in Utica, N.Y. with only $315 worth of inventory -- he sold everything for one price -- five-cents... George Washington was a big eater.  In fact, his supper -- which might take 2 hours -- would consist of 8 or 10 large dishes of meat and poultry, several kinds of vegetables, and pastries.

TRIVIA:  The President of the United States from 1885-89; and 1893-97, I was a Democrat from New Jersey.  Because my terms were not consecutive, the State Department calls me both the 22nd and the 24th president.  Who am I?

     "A man can learn a lot if he listens, and if I didn't learn anything else I was learning how much I didn't know" (Louis L'Amour, The Daybreakers).

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Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- Mud Puddles and Dandelions

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to invade my yard. My kids see flowers to pick for Mom and white fluff to blow and make a wish on.

When I look at an old drunk, and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away. My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.

When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune, and don't have much rhythm, so I sit self-consciously and listen. My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words, if they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk. My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray, I say Thee and Thou and grant me this, and give me that. My kids say "Hi, God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry I don't want to go to heaven yet, I would miss my mommy and daddy"

When I see a mud puddle, I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets. My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with.
I wonder if we are given kids to teach, or to learn from? No wonder God loves the little children!!

Enjoy the little things in life for someday you may look back and realize they were the big things. Just a reminder about the important things in life.

I wish you mud puddles and dandelions.

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From a friend:  A Farmer, a Cow, and a Bug

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

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Thanks to LBS:  Male Bashing Defense

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES

How many men does it take to open a soft drink?
None.  It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things"  that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me. . ."

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't.  There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course.  He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus:  Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,  SuffeRING.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.  Then God created Woman.  Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "Boy, I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it - once.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

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From a friend:  Reasons to Seek God

** To break through our complacency and pride. Is 29:P13, 14
** To deliver us from sin's power. Ps 130:3-8
** To purify our hearts. Ps 51:10-12
** To pour out His Spirit afresh. Is 44:3,4
** To stir us to persistent, united prayer. Is 62:6-7
** To reveal His glory amidst His people. Is 60:1-3 (NASB)
** To renew our passion to worship. Ps 70:4
** To renew our hearts to obey Him. Eze 36:26, 27
** To restore our families. Mal 4:6
** To manifest His presence and glory. Eze 37:27,28
** To draw people to Himself in sincere repentance. Is 55:6-8
** To encounter the lost with His persistent love. Is 30:18, 19
** To display His mercy. Ps 103:11-14
** To rescue the desperate. Ps 107:5-9
** To give life to those who are spiritually dead. Ps 107:17-20
** To bring victory over evil powers. Ps 110:2-3 (NASB)
** For devastated cities to be restored. Is 61:1,4,9
** For our sinful ways to be healed. Is 57:177-19

PrayWorld Daily Calendar, Herald of His Coming, February 2002

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ANSWER:  Grover Cleveland.

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