Good Morning: It's Monday February 26,
2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Victor Hugo, 1802; John Harvey Kellogg, 1852; Jackie
Gleason, 1916; Tony Randall, 1920; Fats Domino, 1928; Johnny Cash, 1932;
Godfrey Cambridge, 1933.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1815 Napoleon escaped from the island of Elba where
he had been exiled for his reign as self-proclaimed Emperor of France.
In the one hundred days following his excape, countless lives were lost.
It ended with the Battle of Waterloo, and Napoleon was exiled once again,
but this time to the Island of St. Helena.
On this date in 1870 the first Subway Line opened in NYC.
On this date in 1881 the S.S. Ceylon sailed from Liverpool, England
on the very first around-the-world cruise.
On this date in 1951 James Jones' novel FROM HERE TO ETERNITY was published
in New York.
On this date in 1951 the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was
ratified, stipulating that no person can be elected to the presidency for
more than two terms.
On this date in 1993 a bomb exploded in the World Trade Center.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: "Jack" is the most common name in nursery
rhymes... The only one of the seven dwarfs who is beardless is Dopey...
Employees at Disney World are not allowed to wear mustaches.
TRIVIA: I led my army to the gates of the city of Jerusalem on
a mission to overthrow them and win their city for myself. I lost
an hundred fourscore and five thousand men when the angel of the Lord smote
them. I departed to Nineveh, and it came to pass, as I was worshipping
in the house of Nisroch my god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer my sons smote
me with the sword. They fled into the land of Armenia and Esarhaddon
(another of my sons) reigned in my stead. Who am I?
Jackie Gleason said, "Thin people are beautiful
but fat people are adorable." It was meant as a compliment.
On to the jokes:
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Thanks to LBS for more tips to help us live easier... SOME TIPS THAT
REALLY WORK
1) Flies or bees bothering you? Spray them with hairspray and they
will take a quick dive.
2) Sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide
a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.
3) Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them
neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
4) For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and
put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't
refreeze.
5) Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped
in baking soda. Comes of with little effort (elbow grease that is!).
6) Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt
BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
7) Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair
of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw
away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that this would
be much more economical. And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely!
In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way!
8) Opening brand new jars can be a feat in itself. Well, I have found
a way to make it the easiest thing to do. Instead of banging a jar of jam,
pickles, etc., with a knife until it loosens up, I simply reach into the
drawer and pull out the handy nutcracker. It adjusts to the size of the
jar and I simply give it a good twist and off pops the lid!
9) Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little peroxide
on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time!
Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside
windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar
will get outside windows really clean. Don't wash windows on a sunny day.
They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
10) Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a
lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on. Place fabric
softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly
washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
11) Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at
least 3 hours prior to burning.
12) To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and
add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust
and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works
like A charm!
GREAT IDEAS
1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
ice cream drips.
2. Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot
griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.
3. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.
4. To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the
water before hard-boiling.
5. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats
in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.
6. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature
and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.
7. To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop
or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring
to a boil on stovetop.
8. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring
in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
9. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside
of the cake.
10. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix me up."
11. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and
it will keep for weeks.
12. Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.
13. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.
14. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring
out the corn's natural sweetness.
15. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool,
salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface,
throw it away.
17. Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and
rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.
18. To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the
area and you will experience instant relief.
19. Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross
a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever
ants tend to march. See for yourself.
20. Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better
still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
21. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting
to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter,
then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
22. Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. Clean a toilet. Drop
in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The
citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.
23. Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase
or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.
24. Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water
and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.
25. Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four
Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).
26. Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka
Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar.
Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.
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ANSWER: I am Sennacherib, king of Assyria (II Kings 19:35-37).
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