Good Morning: It's Sunday February 25,
2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Buffalo Bill Cody, 1846; Enrico Caruso, 1873; Zeppo
Marx, 1901; Adelle Davis, 1905; Tom Courtenay, 1937; George Harrison, 1943;
Sally Jessy Raphael, 1943; Karen (Ma Ingalls) Grassle, 1944.
ENON BIRTHDAY: Helen Green!
ENON ANNIVERSARY: Alex and Lisa White (also list recipients)!
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1570 Great Britain's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated
by Pope Pius V. She had the "devout Catholic" Mary Queen of Scots
beheaded. In his anger to the British Queen, Pope Pius V not only
condemned the young queen's soul; he also declared her deposed from her
earthly throne. He then proclaimed
that her own subjects were free to murder her without earthly or heavenly
condemnation.
On this date in 1601 the Earl of Essex was executed for treason in
revolt against Queen Elizabeth.
On this date in 1836 government officials issued the patent for the
Cold revolver.
On this date in 1913 the Sixteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution,
authorizing the income tax, went into effect.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Honorificabilitudinitatibus is the longest
word in the words of William Shakespeare... Salvador Dali once wrote a
script for the Marx Brothers called "The Marx Brothers on Horseback Salad"...
During her lifetime only seven of Emily Dickinson's poems were published.
Approximately 1,770 completed and fragmented poems were found after her
death in 1886.
TRIVIA: After speaking with Elisha the prophet, I took a thick
cloth and dipped it in water and placed it on the face of Ben-hadad king
of Syria and killed him, then reigned in his stead. Who am I?
Here is a quote from former Beatle and birthday-boy
George Harrison: "As far as I'm concerned, there won't be a Beatles
reunion as long as John Lennon remains dead." Now, that makes sense.
On to the real jokes...
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Thanks to LBS: WHO'S FLYING THE PLANE?
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned
to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted
to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the
blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke
was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him
to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission
to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved
and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport
where a plane would be waiting for him.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the
gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!" The
pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were
in the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three
low passes so I can take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
“Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers
take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment. Finally he stammered,
"You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
When it comes to our spiritual lives, we better be certain that
someone competent is in control. If we assume (as did the two men
above) that someone else has the ability to guide us safely, we may well
be headed for disaster (unless that someone else is Christ). Take a moment
to check the cockpit. Who's in control of your life?
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Thanks to JLLH: Henry Ford
It was a sweltering August day when the Cohen brothers entered
the posh Dearborn, Michigan, offices of Henry Ford, the car maker.
"Mr. Ford," announced Norman Cohen, the eldest of the three. "We have
a remarkable invention that will revolutionize the automobile industry."
Ford looked skeptical, but their threat to offer it to the competition
kept his interest piqued.
"We would like to demonstrate it to you in person."
After a little cajoling, they brought Mr. Ford outside and asked him
to enter a black automobile parked in front of the building.
Hyman Cohen, the middle brother, opened the door of the car.
"Please step inside, Mr. Ford. "What!!!" shouted the tycoon, "Are
you crazy? It must be two hundred degrees in that car !!"
"It is," smiled the youngest brother, Maxwell, "but sit down, Mr. Ford,
and push the white button." Intrigued, Ford pushed the button. All of a
sudden a whoosh of freezing air started blowing from vents all around the
car, and within seconds the automobile was not only comfortable, it was
quite cool.
"This is amazing!" exclaimed Ford. "How much do you want for the patent."
Norman spoke up, "The price is one million dollars." Then he paused.
"And there is something else. The name "Cohen Brothers Air-Conditioning"
must be stamped right next to the Ford logo!"
"Money is no problem," retorted Ford, "but there is no way will I have
a Jewish name next to my logo on my cars!!'
They haggled back and forth for a while and finally they settled. Five
million dollars, but the Cohens' last name would be left off. However,
the FIRST names of the Cohen brothers would be forever emblazoned upon
the console of every Ford air conditioning system. And that is why, even
today, whenever you enter a Ford vehicle, you will see those three names
clearly printed on the air conditioning control panel:
NORM, HI and MAX.
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Thanks to GB: THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
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From a friend: A Conversation
A man goes to the White House and asks to see President Clinton...
The Marine on duty tells the guy that Clinton isn't President, and
to please leave.
The man goes away. The next day he comes back to the White House and
asks to see President Clinton. The marine on duty reminds him that Clinton
is not President, and to please go away.
The man goes away. The next day, he comes back again, and again the
same Marine is on duty. The man asks to see President Clinton,
and the Marine, his patience worn out, says, "WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING HERE
ASKING FOR HIM? CLINTON IS NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE!!!"
The man smiles and says, "I know, I just like hearing it."
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ANSWER: My story is told in II Kings 8. I am Hazael.
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