BIRTHDAYS: Mary Todd Lincoln, 1818; Phillips Brooks (Episcopal bishop who composed the song, 'O Little Town of Bethlehem'), 1835; Carlos Montoya, 1903; Dick Van Dyke, 1925; Christopher Plummer, 1929; Tim Conway, 1933; John Davidson, 1941; Richard Lamar Dent, 1960.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1466 the Italian sculptor Donatello died.
On this date in 1577 Sir Francis Drake set out to sail the world. He was the first Englishman to make such an attempt.
On this date in 1642 the Dutch navigator Abel Tasman discovered New Zealand in the relatively uncharted waters of the southern hemisphere.
On this date in 1769 Dartmouth College, formerly Moor's Indian Charity School, was chartered.
On this date in 1816 the first United States savings bank was chartered.
On this date in 1862 Confederate General Robert E. Lee uttered one of his now famous quotes: "It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it."
On this date in 1927 Yehudi Menuhin, a 10-year-old violinist, made his debut at a concert in Carnegie Hall. After his performance, he asked for a dish of ice cream.
On this date in 1928 George Gershwin's AN AMERICAN IN PARIS was publicly performed for the first time.
On this date in 1978 the Susan B. Anthony dollar was issued.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Some frogs can jump 10 feet... One kangaroo jumped 42 feet... Man, even with a running start, can scarcely jump 7 feet.
TRIVIA: Tomorrow is the anniversary of the death of a great American. He was a president, a military leader, and all in all one of our greatest men. He died in Mount Vernon, Virginia. Who was he?
A most profound one... " The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying, not "What a lovely sermon," but "I will do something!"" (Saint Francis de Sales).
*******************************************************
Today's Old Wives' Tale -- HICCUP CURES, SWALLOWING A TEASPOON OF SUGAR; BLOWING INTO A PAPER BAG; BEING SURPRISED (SCARED); OR, HOLDING YOUR BREATH FOR ONE MINUTE. Oddly enough, this one gets a MAYBE. We aren't sure what Adam and Eve did for hiccups, but it is highly likely that they had them (at least after they were banished from Eden). With medical science (ultrasound) we now can see the fetus hiccup inside the uterus. Hiccups remain a medical mystery. Experts believe that hiccups start when something disrupts the rhythmic movement of the diaphragm, a dome-shaped muscle that stretches between the lungs and the stomach. It contracts and pulls air into the lungs when you inhale, then relaxes and pushes air back out when you exhale. The most likely explanations given for the disruption are eating too much, which causes the enlarged stomach to press on the diaphragm, and taking in too much air, which thus disrupts regular breathing.
All this sounds reasonable as to how hiccups start, but what about stopping them? Over the centuries there have been thousands of cures (in addition to the ones listed above) that people swear by. THE JOURNAL OF CLINICAL GASTROENTEROLOGY has even published the following list of suggestions:
* Yank forcefully on the tongue.
* Lift the uvula (that little flap at the back of your mouth) with a spoon. (Try not to gag!)
* Chew and swallow dry bread.
* Suck a lemon wedge soaked with Angostura bitters. (Yuck!)
* Compress the chest by pulling the knees up or leaning forward.
* Hold your breath for one minute.
The general idea is to overwhelm the nerve impulses that cause the hiccuping (maybe that's why being surprised might help), or to increase the carbon dioxide levels in the blood (the logic behind blowing into a paper bag). Each of the cures, handed down from generation to generation, has its defenders and its detractors. Pick a cure and if it works don't ask questions... Most hiccups end within a few minutes. Charles Osborne (1894-1990), however, had a real tough case. He led a normal life, married twice and fathered eight children. His main problem was keeping his false teeth in place. He holds the Guinness World record for hiccups -- 69 years!
*******************************************************
From our Archive -- The following "proverbs" were taken from ancient Sumerian texts and are (I think) interesting. I hope you enjoy them. I have not edited them -- this is how they appeared c. 4000 years ago. Tim
Ancient History Sourcebook: Proverbs from Ki-en-gir (Sumer), c. 2000 BCE
1. Whoever has walked with truth generates life.
2. Do not cut off the neck of that which has had its neck cut off.
3. That which is given in submission becomes a medium of defiance.
4. The destruction is from his own personal god; he knows no savior.
5. Wealth is hard to come by, but poverty is always at hand.
6. He acquires many things, he must keep close watch over them.
7. A boat bent on honest pursuits sailed downstream with the wind; Utu has sought out honest ports for it.
8. He who drinks too much beer must drink water.
9. He who eats too much will not be able to sleep.
10. Since my wife is at the outdoor shrine, and furthermore since my mother is at the river, I shall die of hunger, he says.
11. May the goddess Inanna cause a hot-limited wife to lie down for you; May she bestow upon you broad-armed sons; May she seek out for you a place of Happiness.
12. The fox could not build his own house, and so he came to the house of his friend as a conqueror.
14. The poor man nibbles at his silver.
15. The poor are the silent ones of the land.
16. All the households of the poor are not equally submissive.
17.
A poor man does not strike his son a single blow; he treasures him forever.
Scanned
by: J. S. Arkenberg, Dept. of History, Cal. State Fullerton. Prof. Arkenberg
has modernized the text.
http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/ancient/2000sumer-proverbs.html
*******************************************************
Thanks to M/M Riverrats -- An old favorite
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists... Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes.
Then the man came out with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
*******************************************************
ANSWER: George Washington.
*******************************************************
Good Morning: Friday December 14, 2001
BIRTHDAYS: Michael Nostradamus, 1503; Tycho Brahe, 1546; James Doolittle, 1896; Margaret Chase Smith (first woman elected to both houses of the U.S. Congress -- though not all at once...), 1897; More Amsterdam, 1914; Shirley Jackson, 1919; Lorna Balian (children's author and illustrator), 1929; Charlie Rich, 1932; Lee Remick, 1935; Patty Duke, 1946; Stan Smith (not the one from Enon), 1946; Bill Buckner, 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1799 George Washington died at Mount Vernon, VA at the age of 67.
On this date in 1819 Alabama became the 22nd state.
On this date in 1910 Andrew Carnegie's $10 million gift established The Carnegie Endowment for International Peace.
On this date in 1911 the Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen reached the South Pole.
On this date in 1929 Amelia Earhart formed an organization for licensed female pilots.
On this date in 1942 Jimmy Doolittle and his raiders reached Tokyo.
On this date in 1967 DNA was created in a test tube.
On this date in 1990 Magic Johnson, Chris Evert, and Jackie Joyner-Kersee joined the President's council on Physical Fitness and Sports.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The month "January" was so named from the Roman god Janus, the keeper of the gates who was pictured with two heads, thus able to see the past and the future... The month "February" was named from the Latin word "to smoke" since it was the Roman month for purification... To clean greasy hands, rub Vaseline on your hands before doing a greasy job and the dirt will wash off easily.
TRIVIA: When is the "Halcyon Days" observed?
An anonymous quote that is most appropriate: "Rejecting things because they are old-fashioned would rule out the sun and the moon and a mother's love."
*******************************************************
The Old Wives' Tale for today -- NEVER SQUEEZE A BOIL. This one is TRUE. A boil is formed when bacteria, called staphylococcus, gets into the skin and infects a blocked oil gland or hair follicle. This triggers a defense reaction in the body and white blood cells are rallied to the area. The ensuing conflagration produces pus, which raises the skin in a red, angry boil. And therein lies the danger of squeezing. If the boil has not come to a head (a white or yellowish area at the peak of the swelling), squeezing can force the bacteria into the bloodstream, and possibly into the lymph system. If the infection travels to the brain, or if the person is nursing or diabetic, it can be very dangerous. Fever, chills or swellings of lymph nodes are signs that this spreading has occurred.
Warm compresses applied every few hours will bring the boil to a head in a few days. Or the body may simply reabsorb it. As a small boil comes to a head, and there is no sign of spreading infection, it is OK to lance it with a sterilized needle. Once the boil is draining, it's best to keep up the warm compresses and keep the area clean.
*******************************************************
From our Archive -- Thanks to LBS for this one:
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"They're NOT getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"
*******************************************************
From
StanKegel -- (Author Unknown) -- The REAL Night Before Christmas
'Twas
the night before Christmas
when
all through the house
I
searched for the tools
to
hand to my spouse
Instructions
were studied
and
we were inspired,
in
hopes we could manage
"Some
Assembly Required."
The
children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while
Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a
kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And
now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We
opened the boxes,
my
heart skipped a beat -
let
no parts be missing
or
parts incomplete!
Too
late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if
we can't get it right, it goes straight to the basement!
When
what to my worrying eyes should appear
but
50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With
each part numbered and every slot named,
so
if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More
rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all
over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now
bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide
on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer
the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey,"
said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And
then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that
all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to
keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with
"assembly required" till morning's first light.
We
spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till
our eyes, they went blurry; our fingers all hurt.
The
coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before
we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then
laying the tools away in the chest,
we
fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But
I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This
will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow
we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and
not run to the store for one single thing!
We
did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for
the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!"
Then
off to dreamland and sweet repose
I
gratefully went, though I suppose
there's
something to say for those self-deluded-
I'd
forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
*******************************************************
Thanks
to AB: Stay Young
1.
Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. If you really need a grouch, there are probably a few dozen of your relatives to do the job.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Just never let the brain idle. My dear Mom used to tell me that "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," Well, if that is true then the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When they are in college, that is all that you can afford. When they are grown and you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Psalm 23 tells us "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." "Through" is implied by the need of translation. But "through" is important. Do not put out a mailbox in the shadow of death and take up residence. Walk through. Come out to life.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. And "Martha" may not live there.
8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not guilt.
10.
Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity.
Life
is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that
TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY.
*******************************************************
ANSWER: Halcyon Days is observed during the 7 days before and 7 days after the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. According to legend, the halcyon, a fabled bird, nested at sea around the time of the winter solstice and calmed the waters during this period to protect her young.
*******************************************************