SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY: Happy Birthday Quinton Crawford!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Aubrey Beardsley, 1872; William "Count" Basie, 1904; Princess Margaret, 1930; Wilt Chamberlain, 1936; Kenny Rogers, 1938; Clarence Williams, III, 1939; Jackie DeShannon, 1944; Jim McMahon, 1959.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1560 a total eclipse of the sun
was observed in Spain and Portugal. Witnesses believed it was the
end of the world. They were wrong.
On this date in 1621 "One Widow and Eleven Maides"
departed London for Jamestown, VA. They were to be sold to wife-seeking
bachelors for 120 pounds of tobacco apiece.
On this date in 1831 Nat Turner led a slave insurrection
in Southampton County, VA.
On this date in 1862 Billy Barker struck gold
in western Canada.
On this date in 1878 the American Bar Association
was founded.
On this date in 1887 Dan Casey of the (then)
New York Giants struck out in the ninth inning, providing Ernest Thayer
with the inspiration for his famous poem, "Casey At The Bat."
On this date in 1888 William S. Burroughs received
a patent for an adding machine.
On this date in 1892 Connecticut dentist Washington
Sheffield, appalled at the unsanitary practice of dipping toothbrushes
into shared jars of dental cream, created a flexible metal tube and filled
it with his "creme dentifrice." His invention is now known as the
toothpaste tube.
On this date in 1939 the Soviet Union and Nazi
Germany announced that they had entered into a 10-year non-aggression treaty.
It would be signed formally 3 days later. It didn't work, as World
War II followed...
On this date in 1951 construction of the first
nuclear submarine was ordered.
On this date in 1959 the flag got its full complement
of stars, as Hawaii became the last state to join the union.
On this date in 1986 Surrogate mother Mary Beth
Whitehead began her losing battle to keep the five-month-old girl, known
in court documents as Baby M, that she carried to term for a $10,000 fee.
On this date in 1991, two days after seizing
Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev and declaring a 6-month state of emergency,
the leaders of the Soviet Coup surrendered.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: King Joao of Portugal (1689 - 1750) paid almost a quarter of a billion dollars for the two words "REI FIDELISSIMO" (meaning MOST FAITHFUL KING). The exact sum he spent was 234 million dollars and the year was 1741. In exchange for this fantastic sum the king won the right to display these two words in his title. This breath-taking extravagance exhausted all the wealth Portugal had extracted from Brazil up to that time. When the Most Faithful King died, there wasn't enough money in the treasury to bury him decently. A public collection had to be taken to defray the cost of the royal burial... Grasshoppers have white blood... The word "inalienable" does not occur in the Declaration of Independence. Believe it, or not.
TRIVIA: Where in the Bible does it tell how a man wipes dishes?
Thomas Hobbes (Seventeenth Century English Philosopher) said, "I am not ignorant how hard a thing it is to weed out of men's minds such inveterate opinions as have taken root there, and been confirmed in them by the authority of most eloquent writers..." (Hobbes, Selections, Elements of Philosophy, p. 2). Think it over... then do you best not to fall victim to opinions -- no matter whose they are. May your Tuesday be a wonderful one!
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Thanks to the (now home) LBS: Beach Story
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk
the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty
much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried,
except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the
beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.
Generally the people would respond negatively
and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there
would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the police,
but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey,
have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and
other electronic devices?"
He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow
I want you to get a beach towel and our big radio and go lie out on the
beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the
wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the
girl talk to her husband and then leave.
The man walked up the beach and met his wife
at the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked, excitement pouring
out with her every word.
"No, she's not." he said, enjoying this probably
more than he should have.
"Well, what is it, then? What does she
do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesman."
"A battery salesman?" cried the wife.
"Yes," he replied, "She sells 'C' cells
down by the sea shore."
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Thanks to J&W R: THE POEM
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your! name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time".
Author Unknown
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Thanks to CHAOS for this purely fictional fantasy-based medical story...
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the
waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor
came in looking tired and somber. " I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,
"he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your
loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure,
semi risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves".
The family members sat in silence as they absorbed
the news. After a great length of time, someone asked "Well, how much does
a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male
brain and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried
not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone
wanted to ask.
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and
so to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We
have to mark down the price of the female brains because they've actually
been used".
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ANSWER: II Kings 21:13 -- "...and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down." The margin gives the literal meaning of the Hebrew as, "he wipeth it and turneth it upon the face thereof."
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Good Morning: It's Wednesday August 22, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Claude Debussy, 1862; Dorothy Parker, 1893; Ray Bradbury, 1920; Denton Cooley (American surgeon who was a pioneer in the area of heart transplant operations), 1920; Norman Schwarzkopf, 1934; Carl Yastrzemski, 1939; Bill Parcells, 1941; Valerie Harper, 1941; Cindy Williams, 1948; Diana Nyad (American marathon swimmer), 1949.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1741 George Friedrich Handel started
writing 'The Messiah'.
On this date in 1762 Ann Franklin, Benjamin Franklin's
sister-in-law, became the first female editor of an American Newspaper,
the Mercury, of Newport, R.I.
On this date in 1851 the yacht America defeated
14 British vessels to win the first America's Cup.
On this date in 1865 William Sheppard patented
Liquid Soap.
On this date in 1881 Clara Barton established
the first chapter of the American Association of the Red Cross.
On this date in 1902 Theodore Roosevelt became
the first U.S. President to drive an automobile.
On this date in 1903 Barney Dreyfuss, then owner
of the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team, wrote a letter to an American
League club owner saying: "The time has come for the National and
American Leagues to organize a World Series." Later that year the
first World Series was played.
On this date in 1983 Barbara Honegger resigned
her job at the Justice Department after saying that Reagan's policies toward
women are "a sham". The Reagan staff replied by calling her a "low-level
Munchkin."
On this date in 1989 Nolan Ryan racked up his
record 5,000th strikeout for the Texas Rangers.
On this date in 1991 in Moscow, a 14ton statue
of Felix Dzerzhinsky, the founder of the Soviet KGB, was dismantled while
a crowd of 10,000 cheered.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Have you ever noticed
that the first and last letters of the continents are alike:
Antarctica, Australia, America, Europe, Africa,
Asia... Shah Ghazi Kamal of Bahu, Punjab, India, was the original and factual
"headless horseman". He lost his head in the battle of Jhajjar in
1635 to an enemy sword stroke. But he did not sink lifeless from
his horse. His seat in the saddle had been so secure that his runaway
mount carried his headless body 26 miles from Jhajjar to Bahu -- not coming
to a stop till it reached the residence of its master. The weeping
kin lifted the body and interred it in an ornate masonry tomb which is
still standing... A gallon can will hold one gallon of ammonia gas if otherwise
unencumbered. The same gallon can filled with water will increase
its capacity to 600 gallons of ammonia gas. Believe it or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, what women sewed pillows on their elbows for soul-traps?
Philip Larkin said, "Life has a practice of living you, if you don't live it." May you live your Wednesday in a way that pleases God.
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Thanks to DA for an old favorite (obviously based on a true event...) -- This minister
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth
pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour
and 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation,
he responded this way.....
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt
to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a
lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's
dentures..... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
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Thanks again to DA: THOUGHTS ON GENEALOGY
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
I trace my family history so I will know who
to blame.
Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
Searching for lost relatives? Win the lottery!
Do I even WANT ancestors?
Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate
the living.
Every family tree has some sap in it.
Friends come and go, but relatives tend to accumulate.
Genealogists never die; they just lose their
roots.
Genealogy: A haystack full of needles. It's the
threads I need.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their
children act like fools.
I think my family tree is a few branches short
of full bloom.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough,
we're all related.
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Yet again, thanks to DA: True Tales from the Medical Profession
A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" The ER physician grabs his stuff, rushes out to the cab, tells the lady to lie down, and puts his hand on her stomach to check the baby's movements. The lady screams at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, the doctor realizes that there are several cabs, and he's in the wrong one!
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Thanks again to DA:
I was performing a complete physical, including
the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart
and said, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line
perfectly. "Now your left."
Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested.
There was silence. He said he couldn't even read the large E on the top
line. I turned and discovered that he was standing there with both eyes
covered.
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Thanks to DA Again:
A nurse's aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed, "You're not coming in here with me. This is only a one-seater!"
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Making it an all DA show, thanks to him again --
Useless Facts .... Here are some useless fact to annoy/amaze your friends with :
All porcupines float in water.
The airplane Buddy Holly died in was called "American
Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not
be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more,
so it ends up on the bottom.
There are two credit cards for every person in
the United States.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. [This
reminds me of some men whose wandering eyes appear to be bigger than their
brains.]
Al Capone's business card said he was a used
furniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street
were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's
"Its A Wonderful Life."
Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name
that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name
was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby.
It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about
the wreck.
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ANSWER: The superstitious women of Ezekiel's day sewed pillows on elbows for soul-traps, as we see in Ezekiel 13:18-23 (RV) -- "...Woe to the women that sew pillows upon all elbows...to hunt souls! Will ye hunt the souls of my people, and save souls alive for yourselves? ...Wherefore thus saith the Lord Jehovah: Behold, I am against your pillows, wherewith ye there hunt the souls to make them fly, and I will tear them from your arms; and I will let the souls go, even the souls that ye hunt to make them fly, ...Therefore, ye shall no more see false visions, nor divine divinations: and I will deliver my people out of your hand..."
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Good Morning: It's Thursday August 23, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Oliver Hazard Perry, 1785; Edgar Lee Masters, 1869; Ernie Bushmiller (American Cartoonist and creator of the comic strip "NANCY"), 1905; Gene Kelly, 1912; Mark Russell, 1932; Barbara Eden, 1934; Antonia Novello, 1944; Shelley Long, 1949; Rick Springfield, 1949; Mike Boddicker, 1957; River Phoenix, 1970.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1775 King George III of England
declared that the American colonies were in rebellion.
On this date in 1784 settlers west of the Alleghenies
established the Independent State of Franklin and attempted to win admission
to the United States.
On this date in 1838 Mount Holyoke Female Seminary,
the nation's first women's college, held its first graduation ceremonies.
On this date in 1923 Billy Jones and Ernie Hare,
the first radio comedians, went on the air for the first time.
On this date in 1926 the great romantic film
'idol' Rudolph Valentino died in New York City at the age of 31.
On this date in 1927 Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo
Vanzetti were executed for the alleged murder of a guard during a payroll
robbery. On June 5, 1977 they were pardoned because the trial was
poorly conducted and by all appearances their conviction was a miscarriage
of justice.
On this date in 1955 John Hackett and Peter Moneypenny
made the first London-New York round-trip in the same day. They flew
6,920 miles in 14 hours and 22 minutes.
On this date in 1956 the first nonstop transcontinental
helicopter flight took place.
On this date in 1977 the first human-powered
flight took place in Schafter, California, when Bryan Allen flew the 70
pound, pedal-powered Gossamer Condor for 1 mile.
On this date in 1989 Victoria Brucker of San
Pedro, California became the first U.S. girl to play in the Little League
World Series.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Pepin the Short (714-768),
king of the Franks, was only 4 1/2 feet tall. He was said to have
carried a sword that was 6 feet long. Hmm... He was the father of
Charlemagne and a mighty swordsman in spite of the disproportion... A mule
named Boston Curtis was elected Republican committeeman from Milton, WA
by a 51-vote plurality in 1938. The Democratic mayor of the town
-- to prove a theory that many voters are crealess, sponsored the mule.
The filing notice was signed with the candidate's hoof-prints and his sponsor
signed as a witness... A frog can jump farther than a man. Record
leaps: Frog -- 13 feet 5 inches; Man -- 12 feet 1 1/2 inches... Believe
it, or not.
TRIVIA: In the Bible, whose steps were washed with butter?
Thomas Hobbes wrote, "A man's conscience and his judgment is the same thing; and as the judgment, so also the conscience, may be erroneous." Whereas we might not fully adopt his thinking on this issue, there is certainly something to be considered in it. May your Thursday be a nice one! Tim
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Thanks to DA: UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. Foreign Language: What language is spoken in
France?
2. History: Give a dissertation on the ancient
Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature,
law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Literature: Would you ask William Shakespeare
to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. Religion: What religion is the Pope? (circle
only one)
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic
5. Metric Conversion: How many feet equal 0.0
meters?
6. Physics: What time is it when the big hand
is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. Religion: How many commandments were Moses
given? (approximately)
8. Geography: What are people in America's far
north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners
9. American History: Spell Bush, Carter, and
Clinton.
10. European History: Six kings of England have
been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous
five.
11. Natural Science: Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky
12. Advanced Physics: Can you explain Einstein's
Theory of Relativity? (a) yes (b) no
13. Philosophy: What are coat hangers used for?
14. Political Science: The Star Spangled Banner
is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Physics: Explain Le Chateliers Principle
of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Architecture: Where is the basement in a
three-story building located?
17. Agricultural Science: Which part of America
produces the most oranges?
(a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Wisconsin
18. Advanced math: If you have three apples,
how many apples do you have?
19. Communications: What does NBC (National Broadcasting
Corporation) stand for?
IMPORTANT! You must answer three or more questions
correctly to qualify.
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Thanks again to DA for an old favorite:
Weather Report
A film crew was on location deep in the desert.
One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."
The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian
went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm."
The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian
is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian
to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to
shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you.
What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know,"
he said. "My radio is broken."
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Thanks to DA: WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?
1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on
the top or bottom? (US)
2. How many US states are there? (don't laugh,
some Americans don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's
soup label?
5. What two letters don't appear on the telephone
dial? (no cheating!)
6. What two numbers on the telephone don't have
letters by them?
7. When you walk, does your left arm swing with
your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack?
9. On the US flag, is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain: clockwise
or counterclockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash
run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a woman's blouse are the buttons
on?
15. On an New York license plate, is New York
on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate? [not sports fans]
17. Whose face is on a US dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even number pages on the right
or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc.
Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
25. On which card is the cardmaker's trademark?
26. On which side of a venetian blind is the
cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
27. On the back of a US $1 bill, what is in the
center?
28. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone.
What 2 symbols bear no digits?
29. How many curves are in a standard paper clip?
30. Does a merry-go-round turn? Clockwise or
counterclockwise?
Answers tomorrow.
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ANSWER: Job's steps were washed with butter, as we see in Job 29:6, "When I washed my steps with butter, and the rock poured me out rivers of oil." This was a sign of plenty.
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Gradowiths
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