Good Morning:  It's Friday August 24, 2001!

SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY:  Vermel Brown!!!

BIRTHDAYS:  Max Beerbohm, 1872; Louis Teicher, 1924; Mason Williams, 1839; Gerry Cooney, 1956; Steve Guttenberg, 1958; Cal Ripken, Jr., 1960; Marlee Matlin, 1965; Reggie Miller, 1965.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date (August 24) in A.D. 79 Mount Vesuvius erupted in southern Italy.  The falling lava and ash entombed the cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum and Stabiae.

On this date in 1562 Great Britain 'reminted' its coins.  It seems as though King Henry VIII, in an attempt to 'economize', had the coins of his nation made out of iron and lead instead of something that equaled the value stamped on the coin itself.  The people refused to accept the imitation, saying that the money wasn't worth the metal it was minted on...  So on this day the government finished reminting all of the nation's coins worth their face value in solid silver.

On this date in 1814 British forces burned Washington, D.C.  Unlike the volcanoes that destroyed the Roman cities (above), the British picked certain sites -- the White House and other government buildings.  They then marched north to Baltimore where they were repulsed at the Battle of Fort McHenry.

On this date in 1869 Cornelius Swartout patented the Waffle Iron.

On this date in 1875 Matthew Webb began the first successful swim of the English Channel from Dover, England.  He reached Calais, France 21 hours and 45 minutes later.

On this date in 1887 the United States established a scientific observation post in Greenland.

On this date in 1932 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to make a nonstop flight across the United States, from Los Angeles to Newark, N.J.  The trip took 19 hours and 5 minutes.

On this date in 1949 the North Atlantic Treaty went into effect, growing out of the Second World War.  We know the organization that sprung from it as NATO.

On this date in 1959 2 firsts in congress:  Daniel K. Inouye, the first Japanese-American was sworn in by the House of Representatives, and Hiram L. Fong, the first Chinese-American, was sworn in by the U.S. Senate.  Both were from Hawaii.

On this date in 1983, while traveling from Miami to New York, Amtrak's Silver Meteor struck and killed a woman in Georgia, slammed into an abandoned pick-up truck in South Carolina, and derailed after smashing into a disabled tractor-trailer truck in North Carolina.  "The train was just plagued by a set of very unusual accidents," says a Seaboard Railroad spokesman, adding, "Bad things only come in threes."  On the return trip, the train crushes the car of a North Carolina motorist who tries to run a crossing.

On this date in 1987 West Germany opened its first wind-energy part.  Its 30 windmills generate up to 2 million kilowatt hours of electricity a year.

On this date in 1991 Mikhail Gorbachev resigned as head of the Soviet Union's Communist Party.

On this date in 1992 Hurricane Andrew tore through densely populated areas of southern Florida, becoming the costliest natural disaster in U.S. history.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  The Queen of Madagascar was buried in a coffin made out of 30,000 silver dollars -- riveted together... The Lightning Rod did not originate with Benjamin Franklin.  A Hebrew book written in the 8th century, a thousand years before Franklin, contains an unmistakable reference to the Lightning conductor.  The reference found in Chapter VII of Tosephta Sabbath reads:  "Those who erect iron posts in their gardens on the Sabbath may do so providing the rods are put there as a protection against lightning"... April Fool's Day is called Cuckoo Day in Scotland, Fish Da in France, Doll Day in Japan and Boob Day in Spain.  Believe it, or not.

TRIVIA:  When, in the Bible,  did women give up their brass mirrors to make a bathtub for men?

     Hesiod wrote, "If you should put even a little on a little and should do this often, soon this would become big."  He wrote it of patience, and it certainly is true of patience, but it is also true of any other virtue or even of money...

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Thanks to DA:  ANSWERS FROM YESTERDAY
 
1. Bottom (If you've travelled in the southern US you've seen some which hang sideways with green on the right.)
2. 50 (please tell me you at least got this one!)
3. right
4. blue, red, white, yellow, black, and gold
5. Q, Z
6. 1,0
7. left
8. 20
9. red
10. 88
11. counter (unless you happen to be south of the equator) Nick Brown does necessarily agree with this, but it is the legend, so print the legend......
12. toward bottom right
13. 12 (no #1)
14. left
15. top
16. clockwise as you look at it
17. F.D. Roosevelt
18. Two sides (front and back); eight edges!!!
19. left
20. 5
21. 6
22. Bashful
23. 6
24. Did you notice there wasn't a question for #24?
25. Ace of spades
26. left
27. ONE
28. *, #
29. 3
30. counter
 
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Thanks to LBS:  Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start.

Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.

Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved; the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

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Thanks to LBS:  Funnies

     Two men were stranded on a desert island.  One was very worried about their predicament, while the other seemed to be enjoying the situation.

    "How can you be so happy?" the one asked the other. "We may never get off this island."

    "I make $100,000 a year," the other man said.

    "What does that have to do with us getting out of here? asked the first.

    "I tithe," the second man said.  "My preacher will be coming after me."

+++++++

    I threw a bone over our high hedge to the dog next door.  But the bone caught on the hedge, and the little dog couldn't reach it.

    So I got out the rake and was shaking the hedge to knock the bone loose, when my son came around the corner of the house.

    He stopped and stared for a moment, then said, "Most people wait for the leaves to fall before they start raking them."

++++++++

    This was a sign in the repair shop of a farm equipment dealer, "We do three kinds of jobs, cheap, quick and good.  You can have any two:

A good, quick job -- won't be cheap.
A good job, cheap -- won't be quick.
A cheap job, quick -- won't be good."

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ANSWER:  When the tabernacle needed furnishing:  Exodus 38:8 and 40:30-31 (RV) -- "And he made the laver of brass, and the base thereof of brass, of the mirrors of the ministering women...And he set the laver between the tent of meeting and the altar, and put water therein, wherewith to wash.  And Moses and Aaron his sons washed their hands and their feet thereat."

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Good Morning:  It's Saturday August 25, 2001!

BIRTHDAYS:  Allan Pinkerton, 1819; Bret Harte, 1836; Walt Kelly, 1913; Mel Ferrer, 1917; Leonard Bernstein (American composer and conductor), 1918; Monty (Let's Make A Deal) Hall, 1923; Althea Gibson (tennis star who became the first Black American to win a major U.S. title), 1927; Sean Connery, 1930; Ann Archer, 1947; Elvis Costello, 1954.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY:

On this date in 1718 the City of New Orleans was founded by John Baptiste la Moyne.

On this date in 1825 Uruguay declared its independence from Brazil.

On this date in 1829 the government of Mexico rejected President Andrew Jackson's bid to buy the Mexican State of Texas.

On this date in 1830 Jim Bowie stopped in Washington, Arkansas and asked blacksmith James Black to duplicate a knife blade given to him by his brother, Rezin.  Black improved upon Rezin Bowie's design, fashioning a large knife with murderous cutting and back edges that became known as both the "Arkansas toothpick" and the "bowie knife."

On this date in 1916 the National Park Service was established.  Interestingly, the first National Park Service director was paid $4,500 a year.

On this day in 1918 Leonard Bernstein, one of America's most famous composers and conductors, was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts.  He, at the age of 25, was already famous as the conductor who brought the New York Philharmonic to new glory.  He was also quite an accomplished composer.  Some of his more famous works include Jeremiah, West Side Story, and Candide.

On this date in 1921 the United States signed a peace treaty with Germany, officially ending World War I hostilities between the two nations.

On this date in 1940 the first couple ever to take the plunge with a parachute wedding tied the know while pulling the ripcord.

On this date in 1944 Allied Forces liberated Paris, ending the Nazi's 4-year occupation of the French capital during World War II.

On this date in 1984 Johnny Carson's second wife, Joanne, finds her friend Truman Capote dead in the guest bedroom of her Bel Air home.

On this date in 1985 the White House confirmed reports that during his days as head of the Screen Actors Guild, President Ronald Reagan doubled as an FBI informant whose area of expertise was Communist influence in post-World War II Hollywood.

Also on this date in 1985, Samantha Smith, 13, the little girl who visited Moscow before the fall of the USSR, was killed in a Maine plane crash.

On this date in 1988 George Bush, running for President against Michael Dukakis, discussing the "controversy" then raging about the Pledge of Allegiance, said:  "I don't know what his problem is with the Pledge of Allegiance....His fervent opposition to the pledge is symbolic of an entire attitude best summed up in four little letters:  ACLU....He says -- here's an exact quote -- he says, 'I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU.'  Well, I am not and I never will be."

On this date in 1989 U.S. government officials announced a $65 million aid package to help the government of Columbia fight the drug trade.

MEANINGLESS FACTS:  Giulio Guidi, a 22-year-old law student at the University of Padua, Italy, gave the following demonstration of an astounding memory in 1561.  He listened to one continuous recital of 36,000 words of gibberish, barbarous, disconnected and meaningless -- a sort of 16th century doubletalk.  After this single audition, he was able to repeat the entire six-hour-long recital from memory -- either in the original order or reversed.  He could also spice his performance by alternately skipping every second and third word.  Marc-Antoine Muret (1526-1585), French professor and humanist who was present at the demonstration, pronounced it a perfect success and dubbed Guidi "della gran memoria" (of the Great Memory).  Believe it... or not.

TRIVIA:  In the Bible, what woman "opened a bottle of milk"?

     Mark Twain (Samuel Clements) said, "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."  Don't we all?  Have a nice Saturday!

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Thanks to LBS:

A couple who had been married for 30 years was also celebrating their 60th birthdays.  During the celebration, a good fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple, they would be granted a wish each.

"I want to travel around the world," said the wife.

The fairy waved her wand, and POOF! The wife had the airline tickets in her hand.

Next it was the husband's turn, and he said, "I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than I."

The fairy waved her wand again, and POOF! The man was 90 years old.

++++++++

A highway patrolman was parked along a highway, checking for speeders.  He'd been there awhile when a car came down the road, going well above the speed limit.

The patrolman pulled out, turned on his car's lights and siren and soon had the speeder pulled over.

He got out and approached the driver.  "Good morning, young man," he said.  "I've been waiting for you all day.  What's your excuse?"

"Officer," the young man said, "I got here just as soon as I could."

The reply took the officer by surprise, and he let the speeder go with just a warning.

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Thanks to AB:  Rocket Sientists!

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun whose purpose is to launch dead chickens at extreme velocities. The gun is used to shoot dead chickens at the windshields of airline jets, military jets and the space shuttle at maximum velocity the vehicle could be traveling. As such, it simulates the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne wildfowl and, therefore, determines if the windshield was designed strong enough.

British engineers at Railtrack, upon hearing of the gun, were eager to test the gun out on the windshield of their new high speed train.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British. Upon firing the gun, the engineers watched in shock as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatter proof windshield smashing it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's chair backrest in two and embedded itself in the rear of the cabin. Luckily, the train was unmanned at the time. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment along with the design of the windshield and begged the NASA scientists for any suggestions. NASA responded with a one-line memo:  "Thaw The Chicken".

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Thanks to DA:  Remember old folks are worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.

A LETTER HOME

Dear Grandson:

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love,
Grandma

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"

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ANSWER:  Jael, in Judges 4:19 -- "...And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him."  The bottles in those days were leather bags made from animal skins.

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