DailyHumorAugNinetoTwelve

Good Morning: It's Thursday August 9, 2001!
SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY: Happy Birthday Tabatha Meadows!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Izaac Walton, 1593; Count Amedeo Avogadro (Italian chemist and physicist who developed the table of atomic weights), 1776; Seymour Simon (children's author), 1931; Rod Laver, 1938; David Steinbert, 1942; Sam Elliott, 1944; Ken Norton, 1945; Melanie Griffith, 1957; Whitney Houston, 1963; Brett Hull, 1964.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1619 the first Colonial legislature in the New World met in Jamestown, Virginia. The 22-member House of Burgesses shortly thereafter passed its first laws -- against idleness, drunkenness, and gambling.
On this date in 1638 Jonas Bronck became the first European settler in what is now the Bronx, NY, which was named after his family.
On this date in 1790 the American flag officially became a 'flag seen 'round the world', as the sailing ship Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three-year circumnavigation. It was the first ship to carry the Stars and Stripes around the world.
On this date in 1930 Betty Boop took her opening bow in the "Dizzy Dishes" cartoon.
On this date in 1936 Jesse Owens became the first Olympian to win four medals.
On this date in 1945 the U.S. Air Force dropped the second atomic bomb over Nagasaki, Japan.
On this date in 1974 Gerald R. Ford succeeded Richard M. Nixon as U.S. President.
On this date in 1984 the US wins the gold medal in the first synchronized swimming competition, the silliest event in the history of the Olympics.
On this date in 1986 President Reagan and Vice President Bush submit urine samples for drug testing.
On this date in 1988, after having been rained out the day before (8-8-88), the Chicago Cubs beat the New York Mets 6-4 in the first night game at 74-year-old Wrigley Field. I saw the game on TV.
On this date in 1989 General Colin Powell became the first black chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: A gallon of vinegar weighs more in the winter than in summer. The liquid expands in warm weather and the jug's capacity is decreased... The ant has the largest brain in the animal kingdom -- in proportion to its size... Giovanni Battista Rubini (1795-1854), celebrated Italian operatic tenor, sang one high note with such force that he broke his collorbone. La Scala, Milan, 1831.
TRIVIA: In MLB, who holds the record for the most homeruns by a rookie?
Anytime one quotes Groucho Marx he is treading on thin ice, but here we go... "Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." On with the professionally selected material (don't try this at home...)
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Thanks to PW: Football Funnies
1. What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs? -----Drool.
2. What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? -----A full set of teeth. (This one was tough for an old Razorback fan, but in the interest of fairness I ran it anyway. ts)
3. How do you get an LSU cheerleader into your dorm room? -----Grease her hips and push really hard.
4. How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch? -----Pay him for the pizza.
5. Why do the Alabama cheerleaders wear bibs? -----To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
6. Why is the Vandy football team like a possum? -----Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.
7. What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life? -----His freshman year.
8. How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? -----None . . . That's a sophomore course at Mississippi.
9. Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco? -----Lexington, Kentucky. He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisemann Trophy winner.
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash . . . )
10. Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color? -----You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
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From a friend: Signs You're in a Bad Church
10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Minister, Associate Minister and Socio-minister.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There's an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S.: "Bring Your Own Snake."
4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. Karaoke Worship Time.
2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?"
1. The organist plays a harmonica. . . .
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From a friend: More Oxymorons
10. Work party
9. Board consensus
8. Brief treasurer's report
7. Creative worship
6. Junior high leader
5. Men's fellowship
4. Close-knit staff
3. Simple request
2. Bus ministry
1. My final point
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A fine one from PW: THE WRONG WAY TO DO RIGHT
We've long heard it said that "two wrongs don't make a right." That is, getting revenge for a wrong doesn't make the situation right. However, has it occurred to you that doing the "right thing" in the wrong way--or for the wrong reason--doesn't make a right?
For example, we frequently see "good" organizations or causes raising money by selling raffle tickets. The money goes to something good--but that doesn't give us the right to raise it in the wrong way! And raffles are the wrong way.
Why? Because a raffle is a form of gambling, every bit as much as the slot machines in Las Vegas or Shreveport, La. Yes, perhaps the money goes to a good activity for youth or a similar good cause--but why should the funds be raised by appealing to greed? The Bible strongly condemns that trait!
Some say, "I buy a raffle ticket, but I don't really expect to win." Then why not simply donate without buying a ticket? Why not give out of a pure motive--generosity--rather than the bad motive of greed?
Think of it like this: If you robbed a liquor store and gave the money to the church, would that be right? Of course not! We can't do the "right thing" in the wrong way.
Similarly, look at those who do "good" for wrong reasons. For example, someone joins a civic club, or regularly attends church, just so others will think well of him and do business with him. Or someone goes to church just to please his girl friend. Such folks negate the "good" they do because they have an ulterior, impure motive. Their hearts aren't right with God!
Remember how Jesus condemned those who do their good works to be seen of men. We don't want to be guilty of that, do we?
As one brother pointed out to me when I shared these thoughts with him, the Apostle Paul cautioned in Romans 3:8 that we are not to "do evil, that good may come." So--let's examine ourselves today by asking ourselves, "Am I doing the right thing in the right way--and for the right reason?"
--Phillip Williams
Gilmer, Texas
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ANSWER: Mark McGwire hit 49 homeruns in his rookie season (1987) with the Oakland A's.
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Good Morning: It's Friday August 10, 2001!
SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY: Happy Birthday Ray Wiehe!!!
SPECIAL ENON ANNIVERSARY: Happy Anniversary Doran and Norma Deal!!!
BIRTHDAYS: Edmund Randolph (General George Washington's aide-de-camp during the Revolutionary War), 1753; Herbert Hoover, 1874; Jimmy Dean, 1928; Eddie Fisher, 1928.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1519 the first recorded around-the-world voyage began in Seville, Spain, under the command of Ferdinand Magellan.
On this date in 1778 the first anthem and marching song for American Colonists was written by William Billings. The song boasted of the success of inexperienced but enthusiastic patriots over overconfident British professionals:
Chester
The foe comes on with haughty stride,
Our troops advance with martial noise;
Their vet'rans flee before our youth,
And gen'rals yield to beardless boys.
On this date in 1821 Missouri became the 24th state.
On this date in 1833 the city of Chicago was incorporated as a village.
On this date in 1846 the Smithsonian Institution was approved by an Act of Congress. Its founder, James Smithson of London, England, never came to the US, but bequeathed its initial funding.
On this date in 1945 Japan surrendered.
On this date in 1946 William Jefferson Clinton was born.
On this date in 1949 the War Department was renamed the Department of Defense.
On this date in 1972 the only meteorite known to have entered the earth's atmosphere and left it flew in over Utah and departed the atmosphere over Alberta, Canada.
On this date in 1981 Pete Rose rose to the occasion and broke Stan Musial's National League record of 3,630 hits. Rose would later become baseball's all-time hit leader. Now he is banned from the sport for gambling (betting) on baseball games.
Also on this date in 1981 the Nixon museum closed. Commenting on the closing, manager Peter Mitchell said, "If nothing else, it's been a good stopping point for people to use the restroom between L.A. and San Diego."
On this date in 1984 US runner Mary Decker tripped over British runner Zola Budd's bare feet, landing in the infield where she remained, with a pulled muscle in her hip, until the race was over. Budd finished 7th.
On this date in 1988 Ed Koch, then mayor of New York, urged New Yorkers not to give to beggars, saying, "If you feel guilty, see a priest." He also announced plans for an anit-beggar ad campaign.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The 13th of the month falls on Friday more often than on any other day of the week. In 400 years -- a basic and recurring calendar unit -- there will be 688 Friday the thirteenths, as compared to 687 Sundays or Wednesdays, the next highest number)... A steamship travels faster in cold water than in warm water. Steam condenses faster in the cold element... Cervantes and Shakespeare both died on April 23, 1616; yet they did not die on the same day. Why? England and Spain used different calendars in the seventeenth century. There was a difference of ten days between the Julian calendar used by England and the Gregorian calendar adopted by Spain.
TRIVIA: In MLB, who has the most hits in World Series play? Is it: A. Yogi Berra; B. Joe Morgan; C. Mickey Mantle; D. Babe Ruth; or, E. Pee Wee Reese?
Samuel Goldwyn said, "I don't think anybody should write his autobiography until after he's dead." I don't know for sure, but there seems to be a problem with that theory...
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Thanks to LBS: unfamiliar sayings (From Ron and Shirley Surber):
1. Birds of a feather flock together and mess on your car.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
10. He who hesitates is probably right.
11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
12. If you can smile when thing go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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Thanks to LBS: "My brother-in-law"
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?"
"I'm afraid I can't, Sister."
"Do you have any close relatives, then?"
"Just my sister in New Mexico," the patient replied. "But she's a spinster nun."
"Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God."
"Okay," the man said with a smile. "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law."
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Thanks to LBS: I Knew It...
Three tortoises, Joe, Steve, and Raymond, go on a picnic. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the tortoises take 10 whole days to get there. When they arrive, Joe takes out the sodas and says, 'Alright, Raymond, gimme the bottle opener.' But Raymond doesn't have it, so the tortoises convince him to go back for it, swearing they won't touch the food. Twenty days pass. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled. After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Steve starts getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says. 'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.' Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Raymond probably skipped out, so the two tortoises weakly get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. Right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind a rock, and says, 'I knew it! I'm not going!'
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Thanks to DA: WETTING HIS WHISTLE
This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is. Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow --
and is thrown, head-over-heels, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man: "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
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ANSWER: A. Yogi Berra had 71 basehits in 14 World Series appearances.
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Good Morning: It's Saturday August 11, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Friedrich Ludwig Jahn (German teacher who 'invented' gymnastics), 1778; David Atchison, 1807; composer Carrie Bond, 1862; Gifford Pinchot (American politician, author, and conservationist), 1865; Lloyd Nolan, 1902; Don Freeman (children's author and creator of Corduroy), 1908; Alex Haley, 1921; Mike Douglas, 1925; Carl Rowan, 1925; Jerry Falwell, 1933; Steven Kroll (children's author), 1941; Joanna Cole (children's author), 1944; Hulk Hogan, 1953; Joe Jackson, 1955.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1841 former slave Frederick Douglass spoke at his first anti-slavery conference.
On this date in 1869 Esther Morris, newly settled with her family in South Pass, Wyoming, invited the local Democrat and Republican running for the territorial legislature to her home for tea and some campaigning with her neighbors. In return she got a promise from each of the candidates that, if elected, he would introduce legislation giving women the vote. Before the year was out, women in Wyoming became the first in America with the right to vote, and Esther Morris became the first woman justice of the peace in the nation.
On this date in 1877 the first satellite of the planet Mars was discovered by Asaph Hall, director of the U.S. Naval Observatory.
On this date in 1909 the S - O - S signal was first used by an American ship, the Arapahoe, off Cape Hatteras, NC.
On this date in 1934 the first federal prisoners arrived on "The Rock", Alcatraz, San Francisco Bay, CA.
On this date in 1954 Vietnam was partitioned -- the French having withdrawn from what was French Indochina. Under the terms of a Geneva agreement, the territory was then divided into two separate nations.
On this date in 1965 Riots broke out in the Watts district of Los Angeles, CA.
On this date in 1972 the "last" U.S. combat troops left Vietnam.
On this date in 1984 President Reagan joked: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." The press in the room with him laughed, but others were less amused...
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Psalm 51:1-4 saved more than 800,000 people from execution between 1350 and 1841. Any criminal under sentence of death could plead the "benefit of clergy" by reading the four verses. If he was unable to read, he was out of luck... Flat peaches are grown in China... The honey bee is the only domesticated insect.
TRIVIA: Who has collected the most hits in MLB All-Star game play?
Richard Nixon once said, "I would have made a good pope." Given the history and all, I don't see why not...
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A good one (favorite) from LBS: Experience vs Ability
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, Morris had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
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Thanks to DA: SONGS FROM THE HOSPITAL HIT PARADE

"Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney"
"The Staphs and Streps Forever"
"It's Spleen a Long, Long Time"
"It Had to Be Flu"
"On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma"
"MRI Blue?"
"I'll be Sewing You"
"Red Cells in the Sunset"
"My Melancolicky Baby"
"From Here to Maternity"
"Old Man's Liver"
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace"
"The Girl From Emphysema"

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Thanks to LBS: Quote
"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her." -- Agatha Christie
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Thanks to DA: Technology for Country Folk

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot
LOG OFF: Too much wood on fire
MONITOR: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
DOWN LOAD: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
RAM: That thar thang what splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when its cold outside
SCREEN: Whut to shut when its black fly season
BYTE: Whut dem flys do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Ole Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the truck keys
SOFTWARE: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE: What kitty eats in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof
PORT: Fancy flatlander wine
ENTER: Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"
CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
DOUBLE CLICK: When you cock the double barrel
REBOOT: Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse.

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Thanks to LBS: "Thoughts, & Quotes"
There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual except indecision.
I hate ingratitude more in a man than lying, vainness, babbling, or drunkenness. --William Shakespeare
(All of the 0ther things are probably the causes for ingratitude. They are all equally obnoxious. L.B.S.)
The more we give of anything, the more we shall get back.
Where there is great love, there are always miracles.
A true friend is one who likes you even when you act like yourself.
It's true that money can't buy happiness, at least, not at today's prices.
No one can help everybody, but everybody can help somebody.
Feed your faith, and your doubts will starve to death.
Those who think it is permissible to tell "white lies" soon become color blind.
Nothing improves little prayers faster than big trouble.
If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed. --Kate Halverson
Choice, not chance, determines one's destiny.
Success is a matter of luck; ask any failures. --Authors Unknown Unless Listed
*****
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
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Thanks to DA: Several
Movie of the Week: A tribute to the late Shari Lewis in a made for TV movie, "Silence of the Lambchops". (By Guy Ben-Moshe)
Book of the Week: "Waterways Of The World" by Sue S. Canal (By Dave Coble)
Extras: During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jell-O at his wife. She had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
There are no mimes on stamps because a mime is a terrible thing to paste.
Jokes and Stuff: A couple of clams were eating chocolate bars while two fish watched. "Did you see that?" one fish said, as the clams finished their treat. "They didn't offer us a single bite!" "What do you expect?" asked the other fish. "They're two shellfish."
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ANSWER: Willie Mays has 23 All-Star game hits.
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Good Morning: It's Sunday August 12, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Robert Southey, (English poet who popularized the fairy tale "The Three Bears"), 1774; Robert Mills (American architect and designer of the Washington Monument), 1781; Katherine Lee Bates (American author who wrote the words to "America the Beautiful!"), 1859; Christy Matthewson, 1880; Cecil B. DeMille, 1881; Buck Owens, 1929; Porter Wagoner, 1930; John Poindexter, 1936; George Hamilton, 1939; Ann Martin (children's author and creator of the Baby-sitters Club series), 1955.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1658 the first police force in America was established in New Amsterdam, now New York City.
On this date in 1676 Metacomet (Philip), chief of the Wampanoag Indians, was killed, effectively ending King Philip's War, a bitter conflict between New England settlers and the Wampanoag tribe.
On this date in 1840 druggist Samuel M. Kier began bottling crude oil skimmed off the brine from salt wells he drilled outside Pittsburgh. He sold the salt for curing and preserving food and the oil as a medicine. He built a crude distillery in his drug store and thus there came to be the first commercial oil refinery in the U.S.
On this date in 1851 Isaac Singer began production of his sewing machines.
On this date in 1862 Julius Rosenwald was born. Who was that? Perhaps you are familiar with his mail-order business: Sears, Roebuck and Company.
On this date in 1877 Thomas Edison invented the phonograph.
On this date in 1881 Cecil B. DeMille was born, he would grow up to produce such spectacles as Ben Hur and the Ten Commandments.
On this date in 1936 Marjorie Gestring, age 13, became the youngest person to win an Olympic Gold Medal in springboard diving.
On this date in 1948 Olga Kasenkina, having been deported by the U.S. and ordered to return to Stalinist Russia, broke away from officials and leapt through a window in the Soviet embassy. She would rather be dead than Red -- and she proved it.
On this date in 1961 the Berlin Wall was built.
On this date in 1977 the prototype space shuttle, Enterprise, made its maiden flight within the earth's atmosphere, launched from a 747.
On this date in 1982 a humorous (?) exchange between Postal Service official Jerry Jones and Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) took place.
JJ: "(Mail will still be delivered) to the extent possible under the curcumstances (in the event of a nuclear war)."
EM: "There won't be a lot of people left to read and write those letters."
JJ: "But those that are will get their mail."
On this date in 1985 a spokesman for Burt Reynolds announced that, despite ongoing rumors, the actor does not have AIDS.
On this date in 1987 Ronald Reagan discussed the Iran-contra matter on National TV. He spent about 6 minutes on the subject.
On this date in 1988 Ed Meese served his last day as Attorney General.
On this date in 1988 Brigitte Nielsen and football star Mark Gastineau announced their engagement.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: "Uncopyrightable" contains 57.69 per cent of the alphabet without repetition... In 1835, during the administration of Andrew Jackson, the National Debt was completely extingiushed. The contents of the U.S. Treasury were distributed among the states and the states paid each citizen his per capita share in cash... The official flower on Father's Day is the dandelion, because the more it is trampled upon, the better it grows.
TRIVIA: A 2-parter -- Part 1 Jonah (from the Bible) took a ship going to... what city? Part 2 Where was this city located?
Here is an anonymous quote that hits the nail on the head... "The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television." Anyway...
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Thanks to DA for these:
Seattle Idiot
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man, curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
*****
THE LITTLE THINGS
A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem.
He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!"
The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"
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From: Susquehanna Sentinel,7/15/01
Email: Clarence R. Johnson [email protected]
WISE PEOPLE CALM ANGER DOWN
There are two things which happened this year which share much in common:
Three young men in Oklahoma were enjoying the upcoming Fourth of July holiday and wanted to apparently test fire some fireworks. Their only real problem was that their launch pad and seating arrangements were atop a several hundred thousand gallon fuel distillation storage tank.
Oddly enough, some fumes were ignited, producing a fireball seen for miles.
They were launched several hundred feet into the air and were found dead 250 yards from their respective seats.
In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition -- lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked.
Witnesses later described the vision of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as "bright" by his peers.
Years ago, Jim Croce, in his song, "You Don't Mess Around With Jim", used to sing about things that you don't dare do (pull the mask off the Lone Ranger or tug on Superman's cape, for example). He might have done well to add, "You don't flick your Bic inside a building with a gas leak"! In an explosive situation, the last thing you want to do is provide the spark.
We've all been around those kinds of situations (not literally, but figuratively) -- where someone was angry and it wouldn't take much to create an explosion. We have two choices in that setting, described by Solomon in this way:
"A gentle answer will calm a person's anger, but an unkind answer will cause more anger."
How I admire those people I know (and my wife is one of them) who have a calming effect on those around them (including me), gently stifling the flames of anger before they burst in flames.
"Wise people calm anger down."
May God help us all to be wise. --Alan Smith, Thought for the Day
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ANSWER: Part 1 -- Jonah took a ship headed to Tarshish. Part 2 -- The city of Tarshish was either part of the island of Sardinia (off the coast of Italy) or a region in far-off Spain. Jonah wanted to get as far away from Nineveh as possible!
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