Good Morning:  It's Sunday April 22, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS:  Philosopher Immanuel Kant, 1724; Nikolai Lenin, 1870; J. Robert Oppenheimer, 1904; Eddie Albert, 1908; Glen Campbell, 1908; Jack Nicholson, 1936; Peter Frampton, 1950.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1864 the phrase "In God We Trust" was first added to United States coinage.  On previous slogan printed on earlier coins was "Mind Your Business".
MEANINGLESS FACTS:  When J.C. Penney opened his first store in Ohio in 1902, it was called The Golden Rule... Seventy percent of household dust is said to be skin cells... It is illegal in Idaho to give a person a box of candy that weighs over 50 pounds.
TRIVIA:  What do First Ladies Martha Washington, Abigail Fillmore, Caroline Harrison, Florence Harding and Pat Nixon all have in common?
     Let's hear from W.C. Fields this morning:  "The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves."  Now, that's lazy!  I hope you have plenty of energy to assemble with the saints this morning...  Read these, if you have the time.
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Thanks to LBS:
If you put a buzzard in a pen six or eight feet square and entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of his ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.  The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of ten or twelve feet.  Without space to run, as is his habit, he will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place.  If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
Bumblebee if dropped into an open tumbler will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out.  It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
In many ways, there are lots of people like the buzzard, the bat, and the bee. They are struggling about with all their problems and frustrations, not realizing that the answer is right there "above" them.
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Thanks to a friend:
Love In The Home
If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have not love, I am a housekeeper - not a homemaker.
If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have not love, my children learn cleanliness - not godliness.
Love leaves the dust in search of a child's laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.
Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

Love is present through the trials.
Love reprimands, reproves, and is responsive.
Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.
Love is the key that opens salvation's message to a child's heart.

Before I became a mother I took glory in my house of perfection.
Now I glory in God's perfection of my child. As a mother, there is much I must teach my child, but the greatest of all is love.
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Thanks to WW for this one:  QUIZ FOR PROFESSIONALS
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be "professional".
The questions are not that difficult.
1.  How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
 2.How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
 Correct Answer:  Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3.The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
 Correct Answer:  The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4.There is a river you must cross, but crocodiles inhabit it.  How do you manage it?
 Correct Answer:  You swim across.  All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.  But many preschoolers got several correct answers.  Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals have less brains than that of a four year old.
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Thanks to a friend:  Noah's Lessons-----
Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark:
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead.  It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit.  When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage.  The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.
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Thanks to a friend:
"Men try to fix problems with duct tape. God did it with nails."
When asked what WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) meant, one Sunday School boy responded, "It's Jesus' Website."
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Thanks to a friend:  Play on words
 
Dyslexics have more fnu
Clones are people, two
Entropy isn't what it used to be
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses
Eschew obfuscation
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor
Anything free is worth what you pay for it
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Editing is a rewording activity
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure
My reality check just bounced
Rap is to music, what Etch-a-Sketch is to art
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway
 
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ANSWER:  They were all older than their husbands.
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