Good Morning: It's Monday April 23,
2001!
SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY: Happy Anniversary to KEITH AND ANGELA KILLINGSWORTH!
BIRTHDAYS: William Shakespeare, 1564; Janet Blair, 1921; Shirley
Temple Black, 1928; Lee Majors, 1940; Sandra Dee, 1942; Phil Esposito,
1942; Herve Villechaize, 1943; Joyce Dewitt, 1949; Valerie Bertinelli,
1960.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1616 William Shakespeare died -- yes, it was also his
birthday in 1564.
On this date in 1635 a boundary dispute between Maryland and Virginia
erupted into a naval skirmish off the coast of Virginia.
On this date in 1896 the first public exhibition of moving pictures
took place in New York City.
On this date in 1988 a federal ban on smoking during domestic airline
flights of two hours or less went into effect.
On this date in 1995 the US observed a national day of mourning for
the victims of the Oklahoma City blast.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Shakespeare was born on April 23 and died
52 years later on April 23... There are no living descendants of William
Shakespeare... Shakespeare's will contained three of his six accepted signatures
- "Shakspere", "Shakespeare" and Shakspeare".
TRIVIA: What was the signigicance of a character named Dippy
Dawg in a 1932 Disney cartoon called "Mickey's Revue"?
Here is a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald to
get our Monday started: "Men get to be a mixture of the charming
mannerisms of the women they have known." How sweet... On to
the real stuff!
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Thanks to LBS for an original poem: LEFT HANDED PEOPLE
Left handed people
May hear snide remarks
Which cut to the quick
And wound their soft hearts,
But, this is the knowledge
That we can gain----
Control of the left
Is by the right brain!!!!
Now--all of us folks
Who use our right hands--
We need to know that
The left brain commands.
So, think as my daughter
And you will find
Only left handed people
Are in their right mind! ! !
By L. B. Strawn
August 5, 1988
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Thanks to a friend: Deep Thoughts
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out
of the water?
How can there be self-help groups?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does
he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they
still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket
signs?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why
you're just sitting there, staring at the carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't
afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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Thanks to LBS: Apology from George W. Bush
Dear China,
We're sorry that you don't train your fighter pilots better. As an
apologetic token, please find an enclosed copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator
2000.
We're sorry that you're front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver
a 35 year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps you'd like to consider purchasing
some surplus 1950's-era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan. (They just replaced
all theirs with shiny new F-16's.
We're sorry that you're confused about the boundaries of your country
and believe that your territorial waters extend all the way to Australia.
Please accept this gift-for future reference-of an American 6th grade
geography textbook. (Please take note of the copyright printed inside the
cover.)
We're sorry that you can't seem to acknowledge your role in this incident,
and consider it politically expedient to take 24 young flight crewmen
hostages, for the antics of a known hotdog fighter-jockey.
Ponder this while we build several new Aegis destroyers for our friends
in the Republic of China (Taiwan).
We're especially sorry for treating you with such pedestrian respect
for the last 20 years. We'll definitely rethink this and consider
treating you like a common street gang very soon.
We're very sorry for ever granting you "Most-Favored-Nation" trading
status. This will be rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
Sincerely,
George Bush, President
The United States of America
cc: Senator Diane Feinstein
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Thanks again to LBS: Train trip
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular
looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several
minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable
sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big
red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and
by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must
have slapped his face."
(2) The fat lady thought - "That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands
on the blonde and she smacked him".
(3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put his hand on that blonde and
by mistake she slapped me".
(4) George Bush thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I
can smack Clinton again".
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From a friend: Our Greatest Wealth
We are born with two eyes in front because we must not always look
behind, but see what lies ahead beyond ourselves.
We are born to have two ears -- one left, one right --so we can hear
both sides, collect both the compliments and criticisms, to see which are
right.
We are born with a brain concealed in a skull... then no matter how
poor we are, we are still rich, for no one can steal what our brain contains,
packing in more jewels and rings than you can think.
We are born with two eyes, two ears, but one mouth... for the mouth
is a sharp weapon. It can hurt, flirt, and kill. Remember our
motto: talk less, listen and see more.
We are born with only one heart... deep in our ribs it reminds us to
appreciate and give love from deep within.
~ Author Unknown
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From WARMFUZZYSTORIES: My Special List
I have a list of folks I know... all written in a book,
And every now and then.. I go and take a look.
That is when I realize these names...they are a part,
not of the book they're written in..but taken from the heart.
For each Name stands for someone..who has crossed my path sometime,
and in that meeting they have become...the reason and the rhyme.
Although it sounds fantastic...for me to make this claim, I really
am composed...of each remembered name.
Although you're not aware...of any special link, just knowing you,
has shaped my life... more than you could think.
So please don't think my greeting..as just a mere routine, your name
was not...forgotten in between.
For when I send a greeting...that is addressed to you,
it is because you're on the list..of folks I'm indebted to.
So whether I have known you... for many days or few,
in some ways you have a part,in shaping things I do.
I am but a total...of many folks I've met, you are a friend I would
prefer...never to forget. Thank you for being my friend!
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ANSWER: Dippy Dawg had not yet acquired the stage name that would
carry him through over 60 years of show-biz fame and fortune. Once
he changed it to Goofy, the sky was the limit!
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