Good Morning: It's Thursday
April 12, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Henry Clay, 1777; Lionel Hampton, 1913;
Herbert Buckingham Khaury (Tiny Tim), 1922; Ann Miller, 1923; Herbie Hancock,
1940; David Letterman, 1947; David Cassidy, 1950.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1606 Great Britain officially adopted
the Union Jack as her flag.
On this date in 1861 Confederates fired on Fort Sumter
in Charleston harbor, touching off the Civil War.
On this date in 1945 President Franklin D. Roosevelt
died in office of a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 63.
On this date in 1955 the Salk vaccine was declared safe
and effective.
On this date in 1961 Yuri Gargarin became the first man
to fly in space, orbit the earth, and make a safe landing. He was
a Soviet cosmonaut.
On this date in 1985 Senator Jake Garn became the first
U.S. senator to fly in space as he was a passenger on the space shuttle
DISCOVERY.
On this date in 1988 Harvard University was granted the
first animal life-form patent.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: The bite of a cobra is so deadly
that it can even kill an elephant if it is bitten on the trunk tip or the
base of the toenail... Cleopatra tested her poisons on her slaves... Tombstones
were originally placed on plots over the dead so that the deceased could
not come out and harm the living (or at least so say some scholars).
TRIVIA: What kind of people have never appeared
in what has to be my favorite comic strip, "Peanuts"?
Birthday-boy David Letterman
offers the following medical advice: "Be suspicious of any doctor
who tries to take your temperature with his finger." On to the real
ones...
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From GCFL: Toy Warnings
* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this
product.
* Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.
* Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.
* Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish
glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.
* Some dismemberment may occur.
* Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back
on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.
* Failure to fall immediately to your knees in gratitude
and eternally thank parents for shelling out $400 and waiting in line behind
a smelly woman from Jersey City for two hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast
-- especially when you've already got a Playstation and a box full of games
that are now headed for the next garage sale -- may result in bodily injury.
* Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing
it now! Cut that out!!
* In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.
* Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.
* Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.
*Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with
your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.
* NOTE: The makers of "Queen Amidala's Naboo Dream Palace"
assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.
* Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.
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Thanks to PW for these 2 --
RISE N' SHINE
Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son
out of bed in the morning.
"I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He
sleeps with his dog."
MAKING MONEY
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
Little Johnny says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles
a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight
people to collect all the money!"
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Thanks again to PW: The Flea & The Elephant
by Steve Higginbotham
The story is told of a flea and an elephant who walked
side by side across a bridge. After reaching the other side of the
bridge, the flea proudly said to the elephant, "Man! we sure did shake
that bridge, didn't we!"
This little story can be somewhat of a reflection of
our attitudes and actions. For instance, if your work in your local
church were scrutinized, would you be more like the flea or the elephant?
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats:
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world
is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... that just one person saying to me, "You've
made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your
arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than
being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift
from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when
I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life
requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned..... That sometimes all a person needs is
a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around
the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an
adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give
us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.
I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is
someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one
day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change
the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with
someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow
as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be
greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping
with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall
in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone
will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness
will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom
that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both
soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks.
I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but
I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild
holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of
the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing
it.
I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only
two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening
situation.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done.
To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down
to the last sentence.
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ANSWER: The strip definitely discriminates against
adults. No adults have ever appeared with Charlie Brown and company.
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