Good Morning: It's Friday April
6, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Lowell Thomas, 1892; Merle Haggard,
1937; "Mama" Michell Phillips, 1944; John "Cliff" Ratzenberger, 1947; Marilu
Henner, 1952.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1722 Peter the Great ended his "tax"
on men with beards...
On this date in 1830 the First Church of Latter Day Saints
(Mormons) was organized (founded) by Joseph Smith in Seneca County, New
York.
On this date in 1896 the first modern Olympic Games began
in Athens, Greece.
In 1909 Admiral Robert E. Peary reached the North Pole.
Although Peary gets credit since he was the leader of the expedition, an
assistant named Matthew Henson and two of the Eskimoes in the group were
the first to reach the pole. Peary arrived almost an hour later.
On this date in 1917 the U.S. entered the First WOrld
War when congress approved a declaration of war against Germany.
It was our first full-scale expedition into armed conflict on continental
European soil.
On this date in 1965 the U.S. launched the Early Bird
communications satellite.
On this date in 1978 President Jimmy Carter signed legislation
extending the mandatory retirement age from sixty-five to seventy.
On this date in 1984 space shuttle CHALLENGER was launched
to recover and repair a damaged satellite.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah: To
bankers, ZIP is an acronym for Zero Interest Payment...To psychologists,
ZIP is short for Zero Intelligence Potential... To postal workers, ZIP
stands for Zone Improvement Plan.
TRIVIA: In the film, "The Natural", what is the
name of Robert Redford's team?
Mark Russell said, "The scientific
theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of
lost airline luggage." Have a nice day! Tim
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Thanks to a friend: Cats
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.
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Thanks to M/M Riverrats: THE OUTHOUSE
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country.
They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was
hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse
was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day
he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain,
the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push
the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing.
Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night
his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing
that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "someone
pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in
school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't
get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son,
George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree!"
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Thanks again to M/M Riverrats: Joined at the tooth...
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to
go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers
because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as
quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way.”
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a
courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your
tooth, dear."
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Thanks to J&W R: And God Created Woman
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his Sixth
day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending
so much time on this one?".And the Lord answered and said, "have you seen
the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears
when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped
knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands." The Angel
was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No
Way!", said the Angel. The Lord replied, "oh, it's not the hands that are
the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
“And that's just on the standard model?", the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement. "Yep, one pair of
eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they
are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back
of her head is to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks
she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They
are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and
loves him or her without even saying a single word.".
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work
for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.".
But I can't!", the Lord protested, "I am so close to
finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already
heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound
of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower." The Angel
moved closer and touched the woman, "but you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft", the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able
to think?", asked the Angel. The Lord replied, "not only will she be able
to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate." The Angel then noticed
something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it
looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were
trying to put too much into this one." “That's not a leak.", the Lord objected,
"that's a tear!".
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked. The Lord said,
"the tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment,
her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.". The Angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for WOMEN are truly
amazing." Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children,
they carry hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love
and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing
when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they
are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand
up for injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe
there is a better solution. They go without new shoes so their children
can have them. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love
unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when
their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or
a new marriage. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have
sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think
there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken
heart. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive,
fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The
heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just
give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and
ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.
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ANSWER: Redford was a Johnny-come-lately player
for the New York Knights.
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