The fourteenth of April ev'ry year
Brings to my eye a bitter-sweet tear.
I think of my Granddad, who in life,
Showed me the way to master the strife.
He taught me to work and pull my weight,
He said this would keep food on my plate.
He taught me to love my family
And said it would pay, "Just wait and see."
He taught me to be a Christian true,
For loving favor in prayer to sue.
I miss him so, now that he is gone,
His race is run, the life-crown he won.
I have his pictures all on my wall,
And in my heart he stands ever tall,
To light the way when I do not know
Just how or when or where I should go.
I hope that when I've grown old and gray
And neared the end of life's weary way,
That I, like him, shall have lived while here
To know that my Lord is ling'ring near.
And though I miss him more ev'ry day,
I'm glad to know that he's free from the fray:
No more in pain will he suffer here,
He's home with Christ, Whom he loved so dear.
H. L. Gradowith
04-14-97
*******************************************************
Thanks again to AB: YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE
WHEN...
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
- You just completed another sweater and you don't know
how to knit.
- You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
- You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your
pulse.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffee
house and you don't even work there.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you
realize it's not plugged in.
- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee
mug.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
- Your first-aid kit contains 2-pints of coffee with
an I-V hookup.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
- You lick your coffee pot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- All your kids are named "Joe"
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet &
Low"
- You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic
stirrers.
- When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick
it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
- When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to
the last drop."
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the
coffee.
- You named your cats "Cream" and "Sugar"
- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
- Your 3 favorite things in life are: coffee before,
coffee during and coffee after.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
*******************************************************
From a friend: Better Not Drop That Egg
"The Easter story is nothing but a myth," Jimmy's high
school science teacher announced to his class a few days before Easter
break. "Jesus not only didn't rise from the grave," he continued, "but
there's no God in heaven who would allow his son to be crucified in the
first place."
"Sir, I believe in God," Jimmy protested. "And I believe
in the resurrection!
"Jimmy, you can believe what you wish to, of course,"
the teacher replied. "However, the real world excludes the possibility
of miraculous events such as the resurrection. The resurrection is a scientific
impossibility. No one who believes in miracles can also respect science."
"God isn't limited by science," Jimmy responded.
"He created science!"
Engaged by Jimmy's outspoken faith, the teacher proposed
a scientific experiment. Reaching into his refrigerator, he produced a
raw egg and held it up. "I'm going to drop this egg on the floor," he stated.
"Gravity will pull it toward the floor with such force that the egg will
most certainly break." Fixing Jimmy with a look of challenge, he concluded
his proposal. "Now Jimmy, I want you to pray a prayer right now and ask
your God to keep this egg from breaking when it hits the floor. If he can
do that, then you'll have proven your point, and I'll have to admit that
there's a God."
After pondering the challenge for a moment, Jimmy slowly
stood to pray. "Dear Heavenly Father," he began. "I pray that when my teacher
drops the egg...it will break into a hundred pieces! And also, Lord, I
pray that when the egg does break, my teacher will have a heart attack
and die! Amen."
After a unison gasp, the stunned class sat in silent
expectation. For a moment the teacher did nothing. At last he looked at
Jimmy and then at the egg. Without a word he carefully put the egg
back in the refrigerator. "Class dismissed," the teacher said and sat down
to clear his desk.
The teacher apparently believed in God more than he thought
he did. Many people, like that teacher, deny that God exists; yet they
run from him, question him, and attack him whenever they get the chance.
Jimmy knew God wouldn’t strike his teacher dead, but he also knew that
his teacher wouldn't bet his life on it.
As the old saying goes, "There are no atheists in foxholes."
When your life is on the line, the idea of God suddenly makes a lot more
sense.
*******************************************************
ANSWER: Dwight David Eisenhower was this budding
athlete.
*******************************************************