Good Morning: It's Wednesday
April 4, 2001!
SPECIAL ENON BIRTHDAY NOTICE: How forgetful I seem
to be getting these days... On the 2nd of this month DUSTIN COLLINS
had a birthday, a young man who attends at Enon and is a recipient of this
list each day. I wish him a belated happy birthday and my apologies
for not including it when it should have been.
ENON BIRTHDAY: Our webmaster (at Enon), GLENN RUSSELL,
celebrates a birthday today! His tireless and professional efforts
keep the Enon page looking great and his friendship is far too valuable
to express in mere words. We wish him the best!
BIRTHDAYS: Arthur Murray, 1895; Robert Sherwood,
1896; William Manchester, 1922; Elmer Bernstein, 1922; Kitty Kelley, 1942;
Christine Lahti, 1950.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1581 Florence Drake completed a circumnavigation
of the world.
On this date in 1841 President William Henry Harrison
died of pneumonia.
On this date in 1859 Daniel Emmett gave a premier performance
of his song, "Dixie".
On this date in 1902 the Rhodes scholarships were established.
On this date in 1949 NATO became official.
On this date in 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated
in Memphis, TN by James Earl Ray.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: People who study such things
have reported that they know that birds dream... An ostrich can cover 25
feet in a single stride... Most hummingbirds weigh less than a penny.
TRIVIA: Everyone knows that February is the shortest
month, but what is the second shortest month and why?
Robert Lynd said, "Man is the
only animal, I believe, who pretends he is thinking of other things while
he is eating." Sounds about right. Have a nice Wednesday!
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Thanks to PW: SHOCKING
A minister was asked to inform a man with a heart condition
that he had just inherited a million dollars. Everyone was afraid the shock
would give him a heart attack.
So the minister went to the man's house and said, "Joe,
what would you do if you inherited a million dollars?"
And Joe said, "Well, preacher, I think I would give half
of it to the church."
At which the preacher fell over dead.
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Another good one from PW: ABOUT YOUR DEBT
A man borrow $10,000 from his friend and says he will
pay back the following week. A week passes, and his friend shows up and
asks him where his money is.
The man says, "How much do I owe you?"
The friend says, "$10,000."
The man says, "I'll pay back next week."
A week passes, and the friend again shows up and asks,
"Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$10,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"Okay, listen, just make it $9,000 dollars and make sure
you pay me back next week."
Another week passes, and the friend again shows up and
asks, "Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$9,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"Okay, listen, just make it $8,000 dollars but make sure
you pay me back next week."
Another week passes, and the friend again shows up and
asks, "Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$8,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"Okay, listen, just make it $7,000 dollars but make sure
you pay me back next week."
Yet another week passes, and the friend again shows up
and asks, "Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$7,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"Okay, listen, just make it $6,000 dollars but make sure
you pay me back next week."
One more week passes, and the friend again shows up and
asks, "Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$6,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"Okay, listen, just make it $5,000 dollars but make sure
you pay me back next week. I don't want to hear any more excuses!"
Another week comes by, and the friend shows up once more
and asks, "Do you have my money?"
"How much do I owe you?"
"$6,000"
"I'll pay back next week."
"You originally owed me $10,000, now you owe me $5,000.
What's going on? Why aren't you paying me?"
"What are you talking about?! Every week my debt gets
less and less!"
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Thanks to a friend -- some are new others old:
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without
musical accomplishment.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again",
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
husband!
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the
Taylor’s. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone
come for a fun time.
"Wise Up, 0 Men Of God"
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to conflict.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They
need all the help they can get.
The agenda was adopted ... the minutes were approved
... the financial secretary gave a grief report.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital -and needs blood donors
for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60's Choir' will be disbanded for the summer
with the thanks of the entire church.
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church
in Racine. Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: "Come tonight and hear
Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
Announcement in a church bulletin for National Prayer
& Fasting Conference: The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer
conference includes meals.
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Here is an old favorite from M/M Riverrats: Fishing
A blonde decided she needed something new and different
for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she
could find on ice fishing.
For weeks she read and studied every book, hoping to
become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough, and
out she went for her first ice fishing trip.
She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools
and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its
own special place in her kit.
When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area,
placed her padded stool, and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she
was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the
sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"
Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings,
moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos,
and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There
are no fish under the ice!"
Amazed, the blonde wasn't quite sure what to do,
as this certainly wasn't covered in any of her books. She packed up her
gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for
a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set
everything up perfectly -- tools in the right place, chair positioned just
so, everything.
Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice
came again, "There are no fish under the ice!"
Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked "Is that
you Lord?"
The voice boomed back, "No, this is the manager of the
skating rink!"
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ANSWER: April is the second shortest month.
It has only 30 days, which puts it in a tie with June, September and November.
The tie is broken by Daylight Savings Time -- it cuts an extra hour out
of April, at least in most places.
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