Good Morning: It's Wednesday
April 18, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Clarence Darrow, 1857; conductor Leopold
Stokowski, 1882; Barbara Hale, 1922; Catfish Hunter, 1945; Hayley Mills,
1946; James Woods, 1947; Nate Archibald, 1948.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1775 Paul Revere went on his legendary
midnight ride to warn the countryside that "The British are coming!"
Along with Revere rode William Dawes who never got credit despite the fact
that Revere was captured early on, had his horse taken away from him and
was sent packing back to Boston on foot, leaving Dawes to alert the patriots.
On this date in 1858 a sixty-day-long rainfall began
in Chicago, IL.
On this date in 1906 a great earthquake struck San Francisco.
The tremor's center was actually located in the small town of Olema, CA,
north of the city.
On this date in 1924 Simon and Schuster published the
first crossword puzzle book.
On this date in 1934 in Fort Worth, Texas the first laundromat
opened.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: 37% of Americans own dogs...
26% have cats in their household... 5% own birds.
TRIVIA: What was the game of Scrabble originally
called?
The late Steve Allen said, "Asthma
doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs.
The thing that would bother me the most would be a dog smoking a cigar."
I saw that in a felt-painting one time... On to the professional
Wednesday material!
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Thanks to LBS for this one (another Texas joke...)
We have drawn from the Texas collection in response to
numerous queries and requests from people, including Chinese diplomats,
who are dealing with the Bush II Administration for the first time.
There appears to be occasional difficulties in translating
from Bush II vernacular to conventional English, Mandarin and other languages.
By special arrangement, we have been able to secure a
listing of some of the more common Bush II-to-English equivalents, and
offer them to you should you have any dealings with officials of the new
Administration in the future.
(Texan) THE ENGINE'S RUNNIN' BUT AIN'T NOBODY DRIVING.
(English) He's not overly intelligent.
(T) AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.
(E) Self-explanatory.
(T) TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.
(E) Not very generous.
(T) BIG HAT, NO CATTLE
(E) All talk and no action.
(T) WE'VE HOWDIED, BUT WE AIN'T SHOOK YET.
(E) We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally
introduced.
(T) HE THINKS THE SUN COME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.
(E) He has a pretty high opinion of himself.
(T) SHE'S GOT TONGUE ENOUGH FOR TEN ROWS OF TEETH.
(E) That woman can talk.
(T) IT'S SO DRY, THE TREES ARE BRIBIN' THE DOGS.
(E) We really could use a little rain around here.
(T) JUST BECAUSE A CHICKEN HAS WINGS DOESN'T MEAN IT
CAN FLY.
(E) Appearances can be deceptive.
(T) THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.
(E) I've been around awhile.
(T) HE LOOKS LIKE THE DOG'S BEEN KEEPIN' HIM UNDER THE
PORCH.
(E) Not the most handsome of men.
(T) THEY ATE SUPPER BEFORE THEY SAID GRACE.
(E) Living in sin.
(T) TIME TO PAINT YOUR BUTT WHITE AND RUN WITH THE ANTELOPE.
(E) Stop arguing and do as you're told.
(T) AS FULL OF WIND AS A CORN-EATING HORSE.
(E) Prone to boasting.
(T) YOU CAN PUT YOUR BOOTS IN THE OVEN, BUT THAT DOESN'T
MAKE THEM BISCUITS.
(E) You can say whatever you want about something, but
that doesn't change what it is.
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Thanks to AB: THEY MISSED HIM!
They were looking for a lion,
He came as a Lamb, and they missed Him.
They were looking for a warrior,
He came as a Peacemaker, and they missed Him.
They were looking for a king,
He came as a Servant, and they missed Him.
They were looking for liberation from Rome,
He submitted to the Roman stake, and they missed Him.
They were looking for a fit to their mold,
He was the mold maker, and they missed Him.
What are you looking for? Lion? Warrior? King?
Liberator? What are you looking for?
They were looking for their temporal needs to be met,
He came to meet their eternal need, and they missed
Him. He came as a Lamb to be sacrificed for your sin.
Will you miss Him? He came to make peace between God
and man. Will you miss Him? He came to model servanthood for all mankind.
Will you miss Him? He came that we might have true liberty. Will you miss
Him? He came to give you eternal life. Will you miss Him? When we submit
to the Lamb, we will meet the Lion. Join with the Peacemaker, and we will
meet the Warrior. Work with the Servant, and we will meet the King. Walk
with the Submitted, and we will meet the Liberator.Concern ourselves with
the eternal, and we will have the temporal.
If Jesus is not fitting into the mold you have, then
come to the mold maker and get a new one. Submit to His plan for your life
and you will see the eternal need met first; then all the other things
you have need of will be taken care of as well. Author Unknown
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Thanks to LBS: CORPORATE ROWING
A Japanese company and an American company decided to
have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and
hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
Afterwards, the American team became very discouraged
and morally depressed. The American management decided that the reason
for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up
of senior management was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate
action.
Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing
and 1 person steering, while the Americans had 1 person rowing and 8 people
steering. So American management hired a consulting company and paid them
incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering
the boat and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese
again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized
to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant
superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance
system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to
work harder.
It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program,"
with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower: "We must give the rower
empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."
The next year the Japanese won by 2 miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower
for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles,
and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave
a High Performance Award to the steering managers and distributed the money
saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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Thanks to AB: Are You Coming To The Wedding?
Have you ever noticed the way a groom looks at his bride
during the wedding? He's tugged at his collar and mopped his brow.
His buddies reminded him it's not too late to escape as he waits before
approaching the altar, and there's always a half-serious look in his eyes
that he might. The signal is given when it's time to step out of
the wings up to the alter. He follows along into the chapel like
a criminal walking to the gallows. But all that changes when "she"
appears. The look on his face is priceless and often a favorite moment
in the wedding.
Most miss it. Most miss it because they are
looking at her. But when other eyes are on the bride, I often sneak
a peak at the groom. Who am I kidding, I always do! If the light
is just so and the angle just right, I can see a tiny reflection in his
eyes. Her reflection. And the sight of her reminds him why
he is there. His jaw relaxes and his forced smile softens.
He forgets he's wearing a tux. He forgets his sweat-soaked shirt.
He forgets the bet he made that he wouldn't get sick. When he sees
her, any thought of escape becomes a joke again. For it's written
all over his face, "Who could bear to live without his bride?"
Such are precisely the feelings of Jesus.
Look long enough into the eyes of our Savior, and there, too, you will
see a bride. There is fine linen dress. Clothed in pure grace.
Clouds at her feet, she is royal; she is the princess. She is the
bride. His bride. Walking toward Him, she is not yet with Him.
But He sees her, He awaits her, He longs for her.
Who is the beauty who occupies the heart of Jesus?
He loves His creation and creation groans to be
with Him, but He never calls creation his bride.
It is not His angels. His angels are ever
present to worship and serve Him, but he never called the heavenly beings
His bride.
So, who is the bride about whom Jesus speaks and
for whom Jesus longs?
You are. You have captured the heart of God.
"As a man rejoices over his new wife, so your God will rejoice over you."
Isaiah 62:5
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ANSWER: Lexico.
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