Good Morning: It's Sunday April
8, 2001!
BIRTHDAYS: Mary Pickford, 1893; Betty Ford, 1918;
Shecky Greene, 1925; John Gavin, 1935; John Havlicek, 1940; Gary Carter,
1954.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
On this date in 1513 Ponce de Leon landed at St. Augistine,
FL.
On this date in 1730 the first synagogue in New York
was "consecrated".
On this date in 1873 Oleomargarine was patented.
On this date in 1974 Hammerin' Hank Aaron of the Atlanta
Braves broke Babe Ruth's home run record, hitting his 715th round tripper
in a game against the Los Angeles Dodgers.
MEANINGLESS FACTS: A butterfly flaps its wings
about 300 times a minute... A penguin is the only bird that can swim but
not fly... The largest flying bird is the albatross.
TRIVIA: There are ten black socks and ten white
socks in a drawer. If you reach into the drawer in the dark, how
many socks must you take out in order to know that you have a matching
pair?
Samuel Goldwyn said, "A verbal
contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." How many times I
have learned this through the years... On to the good stuff!
*******************************************************
From a friend: Should You...
Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight; Just
remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.
Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair.
There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who
has been out of work for the last three months.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think
of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in
return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think
of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a
week, for $15.00 to feed her family.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from
assistance? Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take
that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think
of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering; what
is life all about, what is my purpose? Be thankful, there are those who
didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's
bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could
be worse. You could be them!!!
*******************************************************
From a friend: TWELVE "TONGUE TAMERS"
If we memorize these verses and use them to control our
tongue, then we will have victory over the consequences of bad words. Ask
the Lord to set a guard our tongue so that we only say things that are
pleasing to Him.
1. "He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life; but he
that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction" Proverbs 13:3
2. "Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There
is more hope of a fool than of him" Proverbs 29:20
3. "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,
it is folly and shame unto him" Prov18:13
4. "...Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall
give account thereof in the day of judgment" Matthew 12:36
5. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your
mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister
grace unto the hearers" Ephesians 4:29
6. "A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a
word spoken in due season, how good is it!" Proverbs 15:23
7. "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his
soul from troubles" Proverbs 21:23
8. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words
stir up anger....A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness
therein is a breach in the spirit" Proverbs 15:1,4.
9. "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted
wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding"
Proverbs 17:28.
10. "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they
go down into the innermost parts of the belly" Proverbs 18:8
11. "For he that will love life, and see good days, let
him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile"
I Peter 3:10.
12. "If any man among you seem to be religious, and
bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion
is vain" James 1:26.
*******************************************************
Thanks to a friend: Chinese Jews
Sid and Al are Jews and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"
"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask our Chinese
waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any
Chinese Jews?"
He said "I don't know sir, let me ask," and he went into
the kitchen.
He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese
Jews."
"Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir."
replied the waiter, then went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe
there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe
there are no Chinese Jews."
Exasperated, the waiter frantically said "Sir, I ask
everyone! We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews,
but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"
*******************************************************
Thanks to AB:
Doug buys himself a brand new sports car for his 50th
birthday. He wants to know how fast the car can go, so he heads for the
highway.
As the speedometer passes 80 mph, Doug sees police lights
flashing in his rear view mirror, and accelerates to 90 mph.
"Wait a minute," Doug says to himself. "What am I
doing?"
He slows down and pulls the car over. The police officer
takes his license and registration without saying a word.
"It's been a really long day," the officer says. "It's
Friday, it's the end of my shift and I really don't want
to fill out any more paperwork. If you can give me an excuse that I haven't
heard before, you can go."
"My wife ran off with a cop last week," Doug says. "I
thought you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," the officer says.
*******************************************************
Thanks to Stan Kegel: MURPHY'S LAWS FOR PARENTS
1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on
sale next week.
2. Leakproof thermoses--will.
3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape
jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house
when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.
5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only
one that needs to be washed or mended.
6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a
faster rate than other clothing.
7. The item your child lost, and must have for school
within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.
[By definition]
8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician
enters the treatment room.
9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward
the back of the refrigerator.
10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically
increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.
*******************************************************
ANSWER: Three -- All three will be the same color,
or two will be one color and the third will be the other color.
*******************************************************