All in one blinding, confusing minute, it occured to me that I had been chasing a fantasy. The one thing that I could never have, never hold and never take solace in. For, how could I expect to hold, and have and cherish what does not exist?
Your letter to me caught me off guard my darling, I thought for sure you'd forgotten me. I was prepared for the unoriginal boring how do you do letter...but you, you never were typical now were you? I wonder how long you have been waiting to floor me with your tasty, trouble filled words. Words mean so little to me these days, yet my head swims with descriptive nature. Ramblings that would make the dead cry.
You are who you surround yourself with, I had misplaced myself in the hidden jungle of idiocracy and denial. It was amusing at times, but not for me. I must never again forget who I am or where I came from (thank you D for the reminder).
I remember your tears sliding down my thighs. You wept loud and forceful, your heart dripped out in sighs. There was nothing I could do to save you. I held you like a child. A man 6 foot 3 crumpled in my arms. A newborn, a relic a soul worth knowing. I will never forget your kind kisses and shuttering moans. I will never forget the life within.
You showed me that I am worth knowing, I am good and decent and kind. I never want to slink back into the shallowness of predeath, of wasted time. Of careless hearts.
I am sitting back now and it unfolds before me, the jewel of one precious thought, the birth and growth of humanity held so sweetly in my....
A gift, a miracle.
A slow goodbye. |
