Sermon prepared for Messiah Lutheran Church, Auburn WA
for the 8:30 & 11:00 AM traditional services, 9/17/00
by Gregory S. Kaurin, associate pastor
Text: James 3:1-12
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It was
unavoidable. It happened
sometimes. We were kids, junior or high
school. Someone started talking. It was an exciting topic, I mean, juicy
gossip that sounded something like:
“Then he said… Then I said… Then she went like, ‘Oh yeah?’ Then I went…”
The tongue started
working, the mouth to flapped, and out it flew: that bit of saliva. Everyone stepped back, “Eww!” And then all the kids around chimed in
together, “Say it, don’t spray it!”
Oh that was nifty,
and spiteful phrase, “Say it don’t spray it!”
Everyone say that together once, [“Say it, don’t spray it!”] To this day, there are people who are still
mortified, or petrified, whenever it happens, and they can hear that haunting
chorus from the past: “Say it, don’t spray it!” As someone who has to speak in public, I have to ignore that
fleck of saliva when it flies out and move on.
Voice projection has its risks.
That may also partially solve the mystery of why so few people want to
sit in the first few pews.
“Say it, don’t
spray it.” Actually, there’s a bit of
wisdom in that. Sometimes we get to
talking, about someone, or something, and we want to let it all out, like a
flood. Gossip is a great lubricant for
our mouths. Words and reactions start
pouring out faster than we can think about them, like water out of a spray
nozzle.
It’s so common that
gossip is hardly thought of as wrong.
We’ll invite our friends over to our circle, with a wicked smile, we
say, “Let’s hear it.” Sometimes we even
call it “Christian fellowship.” It is
one of the most common sins found within church walls. And just about everyone gets pulled in,
pastors included. Sometimes the mouth
runneth over, Instead of the heart, or wisdom.
But it is not a
benign little thing. Gossip can be one
of the most harmful things within families and churches. It can destroy jobs, tear apart marriages
and undermine even the best ministries.
It can start so small, just an innocent concern, voiced at the wrong
time or to the wrong person. But
uncontrolled floods begin with little raindrops. James, in our lesson, took an opposite metaphor. He wrote that the tongue is a small fire
that can set a whole forest ablaze.
Well, we’ve heard
the simple cures. We’ve all heard
Gramma say, “Hold your tongue.” And
what did all our mothers say? “If you
don’t have anything nice to say…”
[“…don’t say anything at all.”]
But here in the
church, and Christians in general, we have a difficult and sometimes shifting
line. First, we do have the occasional
responsibility to say harsh words.
Sometimes what we have to say just can’t be “nice.” We need to be honest with each other.
Second, we are
supposed to be a caring body that shares in each other’s fears, pains, hurts,
struggles, joys, loves and losses. That
is part of the sacrament we share with each other of giving and receiving. We should
know who needs praying for, who is going into the hospital, who is struggling
and could use a phone call, or a Stephen Minister, a visit from the Parish
Nurse, or a simple handshake or a listening ear.
But see, there is a big difference between those caring
words and gossip. The first is pure
water, the kind that is needful, refreshing, healthy to drink in, beautiful to
see out in public, or at least healthy because it’s honest. These are words you could and should say in front of the person
who is being talked about. They are
words like: “I’m praying for you.” “How
are you doing?” “Let’s pray for
her.” “What could we do to help
him? Has anyone called?” Those
are caring words.
The second is
brackish, unhealthy, more hidden or cliquish.
Honest maybe, but entirely unnecessary and indulgent words. Or they might seem to be less harmful and
easily rationalized gossip, things said just to impress, the extra details
added for effect. We love to see the
looks of surprise as we tell what he said, she said, she saw, he did.
It may be difficult
to tell which is which. But one
pollutes the other. James wrote in
verses ten and eleven of our epistle lesson, “From the same mouth come blessing
and cursing. My brothers and sisters,
this should not be. Does a spring pour
forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water?” No.
It can’t. The brackish water
pollutes the fresh.
But I would venture
to guess that not one of us is guilt free.
James wrote that all manner of animals have been tamed, but no one can
tame the tongue. Actually, the tongue
is more like a computer. It does not have its own mind. The tongue, like the computer, does what you
tell it to do, and not always what it should do, and it often it gives you
results you never wanted. The tongue
may be an animal, and barely trainable, but it’s your animal. It is trainable. Fill it with blessings.
Curses and gossip,
in the long run, will not have the desired effect. They cause the people we talk about to fall away from us, but
they eventually cause even the people first attracted to it to fall away from
each other. Loose lips do not only sink
ships. They also create lonely and
bitter islands. From the mouth can come
blessings and curses. Choose blessings.
Some of you are
better than many of us at controlling your tongue. You know how to stop and think before you spew out words. Some of you have the gift of redirection. Almost by instinct you know how to redirect
gossip toward healthy concerns or actions.
You know that the person would not want this held out for public debate
and consumption, and with a simple word, you stop it.
Thank you. Please, put your gift to use more often, especially
here in the church, because we Christians need to grasp the ideals of
confidentiality. That word itself
literally means, “to keep faith.” When
we are given, or hear, or know something, we hold a part of that other
person. We need to keep or use it in
good faith, as though before the throne of God. What would that person, in their best interest, have us do with
this knowledge? Confidentiality is not
just for lawyers and psychologists. It
belongs here, and we should be best at being confidential, at keeping faith.
Cain once cried
out, “Am I my brother’s keeper.” For
thousands of years—and no more clearly than from the cross—God has been
answering Cain: “Yes, you are.” We are
our brothers and sisters keepers. And
that means cherishing and protecting, not just their lives or physical needs,
but also their reputation, their names, like our own. As yourself. Speak of
your neighbor, as you would have them speak of you.
I remember a young
girl, being hurt by words. She cried out:
“Well at least God loves me.” She was
right. Let’s never stop saying and
hearing those words above all others.
Just those few drops of words can purify the brackish pond polluted by
gossip and slander. These words purify:
“Well, at least God loves.” God forgive
us. Amen.
(To
send comment, thought or question: mailto:[email protected],
indicate sermon title, “Don’t Spray It,” in the subject line.
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