You Might be a homeschooler if......
- You come to school in your PJ's.
- Your biology lab consists of assisting in your sibling's birth.
- Your stacks of books to check out is taller than the librarian.
- Your PE comes from chasing little toddlers around.
- Your school bus is a 9 passenger van.
- You consider school work after lunch to be cruel and unusual
punishment.
- Your father has ever told the check-out lady at Wal-mart, "We're on a
field trip."
- Your social life is viewed by some to be one rung lower than that of a
Benedictine monk.
- Your teacher has ever written your report card on a napkin.
- You have to move dirty laundry off your desk before your can start
school.
- The signatures on your diploma all end with the same last name.
- Everyone else in the world is referred to as "Non-homies."
- Your Mother's wardrobe consists primarily of denim jumpers.
- Your first real date is on your honeymoon.
- The word 'homework' sounds like an foreign language.
- Your yearbook is also your babybook.
- A snow day means that you shovel the driveway after you finish your
school work.
- You forward e-mail's like this one between Math and English.
- You enjoy the pastime of watching public school kids walk home from
school.
- You have to look at the clock to see if you can call your public
school friends yet.
- Health class consists of eating breakfast.
- You have to decide what year you want to graduate.
- You are always late but just call it "homeschooler time."
- The teacher can kiss the principal, and no one thinks it's unusual.
- You get to school and the teacher asks you if you've done all your chores.
- Your school dress code is: No Nudity Allowed
- You know what 'dumbing down' means.
- You know evolution has no scientific proof.
- You know what the Human Manifesto is.
- You are firmly convinced that high school causes brain damage
- You sleep in till 9 am on weekdays but get up at 7 am on Sundays
- You have more siblings than sweaters
- You know what a 'Park Day' is
- Your favorite author is Jane Austen, G.K. Chesterton, or P.G.
Wodehouse
- You have ever suffered through Saxon Math
- All birthdays are school holidays
- You have ever finished your schoolwork before breakfast
- You taunt high schooled friends during finals week
- People compliment you on your polka dot suspenders and mismatched socks.
- You spend more than 2 hours each day reading and
writing....voluntarily
- You are 16 years of age or older and still have never been on a date (because you know better!)
- You know what 'Unit Studies' are
- You have more than 2 science experiments going on in your room
- You know more than 1 Latin paradigm
- You have ever spent the entire school day in pajamas
- You regularly utilize words such as: "malingering", "tedious", and
"indubitably"
- You consider sled riding phys ed
- Your IQ is greater than your weight
- You check out more than 10 books each time you visit the library
- You have ever attempted to teach yourself physics
- When asked about your GPA, you say: "Oh, probably 4.0."
- You have no idea as to what rock bands are currently popular...but you
can recite all of the stages of cellular mitosis (in order).
- You believe that you are the most intelligent human in your age
bracket within a ten mile radius.
- You actually want to recieve books on your birthday
- Cleaning your room counts as Phys-Ed.
- Your field trip takes you over seas.
- Shop class includes watching your brother fix his car.
- Your track meet is riding into town to race bikes with a friend.
- You have ever been asked, "Are you a Menenite?"
- You know who Emily Dickinson is.
- You consider yourself a "Transendental Scholar"; you just glide from
one grade to the next.
- You are often accused of being "Technical".
- Your public schooled friend has ever asked you to proof-read his
love-letters.
- If you don't think your pup giving you puppy eyes and crying that puppy cry
is so cute and sweet but rather annoying and distracting when doing school
work.
- You can't use your kitchen table for eating because it's been turned into
your book rack, study area, and mom's office.
- You have to clean off clothes, papers, books, etc., on the kitchen chairs so
that you may actually begin school work.
- You use a King James Bible for every subject.
- You have more pens and pencils than you know what do with.
- You just can't get enough books-even if you've already filled every room in
the house as your library.
- You get extended allowances on books at the library.
- You have water beetles in bowls of water, millipedes in tanks, june bugs in
aquariums, etc., in each room of the house.
- You have a millipede funeral (or in our case, a praying mantis!).
- You search for bugs in the middle of the night in your backyard-and mom and
dad calls it science investigation.
- You realize public school kids are immature-or you're mature for your age.
- Learning to cook is called home education (or home economics).
- Helping dad build things is called carpentry class.
- Going to the beach to watch/view sand castles is called a field trip-we learn
about physics, architecture, worldly people's socialization practices.
- If you do school work on the floor, in bed, on the couch, and outside.
- If every little spark of interest in something mom immediately wants to find
books about it so that you may research further.
- You know what the doctrine of separation means and how to apply it at
9-years-old. (fundamentalist Christians only)
- You WANT your mom to review books for you to be sure they are worthy to be
read, aren't wordly, do not contain other beliefs that contradict Scripture,
and exhort Christ Jesus.
- Your mom is your best friend but also sometimes your worst nightmare. LOL!

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page updated: February 2004