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| High quality gasoline for setting people on fire who laugh at you. (Payback's a bitch) $6.99 |
| Full set of matches for setting yourself on fire, or for lighting farts in your spare time. $0.79 |
| Insulin to calm those crazy instincts. Take doses as necessary. (Every 5-10 minutes) $14.79 |
| We all want to feel pretty sometimes! With this full case of make-up, you'll never have to deal with ugly third-degree burn marks again! $9.99 |
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| Bald? Then you need a black towel to cover your ugly, shiny head. $1.99 (Click for larger image) |
| Don't have any hair, but you can't afford a high-priced black towel to hide your sweaty bald head? Then we have just the thing for you! Now on sale, this wonderful pink clown wig. (Used by Stone Cold at many Mardi Gras parties) $0.09 |
| Eyeball, incase you lost one. $0.99 |
| Wish you could hide that monkey ass that you call a face? This is your lucky day! We have the paper bag to solve all your problems. $0.59 |
| Can't find a girl? We hear ya, here at Kane Mart. And we listened to your complaints and we've come up with a solution. Here's the blow-up doll of your dreams. $19.99 |
| Are you a sweaty gorilla? (Sorry Albert) Sometimes when you have to wear that big, heavy black towel on your head, you can't help but perspire a bit. We have just the thing you need to dry yourself up. Singles are $0.79, a six pack is only $4.49 |
| Having trouble keeping that big, black towel on your head? We have just the thing! Before throwing that shit rag on your dome, rub a little super glue all over your head. Guaranteed to stick. $1.99 |
| And finally, if you can't seem to get that stick out of your fuckin ass, call 911 right now and seek some fucking help, you no eye-balled, sweaty, bald headed, black towel wearing fuck. =) |